Five Feet or Less

by Erik Schubach

  Then I unrolled the bundle, revealing the godforsaken locking leg braces and cuff crutches that I swore to my physical therapist that I would never use. These spawns of Satan.

  It took almost twenty minutes to get the braces on then I straightened my legs and locked the knees in place. My legs were stiff as boards now.

  I took three deep cleansing breaths then called out, “Sarah? Could you come in here please?”

  A moment later Sarah was in the room and the girls were peeking in the door. My green eyed sprite looked at me and at my legs. I thrust forward and up like my therapist taught me and I swayed as my arms took my weight and I pivoted up by my hips to a pseudo-standing position. I could feel the stops on the belt click, holding my legs from over extending.

  I was at eye level with her now, our faces just inches apart. She had a hand covering her mouth and her watery eyes were twinkling. I whispered, “I wanted to be able to be at your level and look you in the eyes when I ask this Sarah. I'm so scared about this, I don't want to lose our friendship. But... I'm pretty damn sure I fell in love with you at the Ballyhoo. I... I'd like to be your girlfriend if you'd have me. Would you like to... date me?”

  I took a huge, deep breath. There I said it... it was out in the universe. Now it could do its worst to me. Her hand dropped from her mouth and she had that comical squishy face, crinkle nosed look on her that I positively can't live without now. “I thought that's what we were doing. I... I'm in love with you too Ree. I just never had the courage to do this.”

  Then she leaned in and kissed me so passionately I know I was hovering above the ground. My whole body was on fire and I swayed on the crutches. She held me steady and we broke the kiss, giggling with misty eyes. We whispered “I love you” to each other.

  I glanced over at the door and both Gwen and Marcie looked like they would burst into tears at any second. I looked back and dropped the crutches and let myself fall backwards onto the bed. Blurting out, “Now help me get these god damned demon spawns off my legs!” She was laughing as she started helping me with the straps as the girls disappeared from the doorway. I could put these damn things away for another few years now.

  Once I was mobile and wheelie-ing and spinning in my chair again. We joined the girls out in the living room where Marcie informed us she would be moving back in. We all agreed never to call me Wheels again... well most of us. Sarah just cutely shook her head and refused to promise.

  Then Sarah spoke, “I have to get home and cleaned up. I'm getting a little ripe myself. Dinner at my place at six girls? We all have a lot to talk about. Future plans to be made. And we have to celebrate Gwen's birthday properly!”

  We all agreed then I was once again floating close to heaven as she was kissing me again. The minx got a little tongue action in on that one. My body was buzzing as she skipped off toward the door, laughing as I blurted out “Tease!” before she shut it behind her.

  I rolled into the kitchen and did something I had never done in our apartment. I asked for help. “Gwen, can you please grab another coffee cup down for me. I think we're going to need four of them low now. I'm hoping Sarah will be around here a lot more often.”

  I had never seen Gwen so happy as when she said, “Sure thing Reese.”, and she hurried in and grabbed another mug from the upper cabinet and put it down by the coffee maker. “We only got a few minutes before we have to get to work.”

  As she was walking back to sit in front of the news that Marcie had switched on, I asked seriously, “Why didn't you ever tell me I was gay?”

  She snickered, “Cuz you didn't seem to realize it and it was way too much fun getting you to do things for me, all flustered, without knowing why.”

  I teased, “Bitch.”

  She snorted, “That's what I hear.”

  A few minutes later Gwen grabbed her keys from the coffee can and the girls were off to work and I was alone in the apartment within my virtual world that I felt I didn't need anymore. I looked around.

  Hmmm... I didn't have any work to do for my clients as I had caught up on all my programming. I wouldn't be able to see Sarah until six tonight. I was bored. I sent her a quick text [miss u already]. Seconds later I got a [me 2 cant w8 til 6].

  I couldn't get into my games. I just kept feeling like everything had changed. That a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was so full of energy I needed to do something. I made a decision, I was going out into the world for no reason. Just to be outside. I could wheel to Bessie two miles away to get her back home. Maybe stop at the park that I used to play with Gwen and Marcie in.

  I grabbed my keys from the little can that didn't seem to have a force field around it anymore then threw the can in the trash and grabbed my purse. I had to stop myself from checking for the green envelope. I almost cried right there on the spot, I don't know what emotion that was. But instead I smiled and voluntarily wheeled out of the apartment.

  As I was locking the door I heard a noise at the end of the hall. I was shocked to see there were men working on the freight elevator. Everything is changing and I think I like it.

  I was half way down the stairs and saw Mr. Underman mopping the lobby. He looked up and I smiled at him. He sputtered, “What!? It is cheaper than buying a god damn paint store to keep cleaning up after you banging up the damn walls Qualls!”

  I almost giggled. “Well if you weren't such a cheap-ass to begin with you'd already be ahead by now Mr. Underman!”

  He followed me to the door and paused before he opened it for me and looked down with compassion in his eyes, “But seriously... you OK Reese?”

  I took a deep breath and thought about that, I nodded. “Yeah... yeah, for the first time in a long time, I think I am Ezekiel. Thanks.” He just nodded with a smile and opened the door and I rolled out.

  I was a couple blocks from home and my iPod started ringing. I looked at it, besides the forty three messages flashing that I dreaded to listen to, was Crystal name under incoming call. I thought for a second, did I have some unfinished programming for her? No. She might have more work for me then. I answered, “Hello?”

  Crystal was frantic on the other end. I assured her I was OK. She read me the riot act, that her whole network had been looking for me and to never worry her like that again. She said something about it being just like when Silent Bob went missing. I didn't understand that. I apologized and was sufficiently embarrassed as I wheeled along the sidewalk. I thought about that. Was she my friend too? Not just a client? I really do like her. Did I have more friends than I thought?

  I looked at all of the flashing voice-mails. Gawd... I could expect more of the same.

  As I passed the park I took some time to wheel through the grass to the old play-set. It was exactly how I remembered it. We had had so much fun here as kids.

  My wheels had problems in the sand under the play-set but I mucked through then transferred into a swing. Boy was that tricky with the chains moving all over the place. Then I looked down. I hadn't thought of that, I couldn't pump to swing. I tried just moving my torso and hands and succeeded in just wiggling in the seat and barley swaying. Oh well. I just looked out over the park and a little voice came from beside me. “You wants me to push you wady?” A grinning little freckle faced boy with a tooth missing asked. He couldn't have been more than four. I glanced around, his mother was sitting on a bench smiling at us.

  Normally I hate people touching me but he was way too adorable. I grinned at him. “That would be wonderful. My name is Reese, what's yours?”

  He smiled and pushed on me with all his tiny might and almost fell over but got me gently swinging and he jumped up onto the other swing. “Hi Weese. I'm Jack!”

  He got his tiny legs pumping and matched my gentle swing. I got lost in the memories of Gwen, Marcie and me playing here. It seems like a whole lifetime ago. I finally slowed to a stop and grinned over at the little boy. “Thanks so much for the swing Jack. I gotta get going. This was fun. You be good now.”

  I transfer
red back to my chair and waved at Jack who gave the cutest wave back. “Bye Weese.” He didn't care I was in a chair, he had just had fun swinging with another person... I hope he never changes.

  I forced the chair through the sand, then wheeled past the woman watching Jack. I smiled at her, “He's adorable. Have a wonderful day.”

  She smiled broadly at me and replied, “You too.” Then I was off, wheeling toward the motel. I don't normally take the time to look around when I am out. Usually I just go where I need to then go home right after. But I forgot just how much I love Seattle. I loved having the soaring mountains on one side and the ocean on the other.

  I noticed a little plane flying lazily from Puget Sound up to the mountains. It was quite distinctive with its purple wingtips and purple swoop on the sides. I grinned. That would be Jane, Crystal’s wife. That plane has been flying the area for years, it is sort of a fixture around here.

  Before I knew it I was wheeling past Bessie to the motel office. I checked out and squared up with them and sheepishly apologized for the mess on the bedspread, leaving a big tip for the cleaning crew. Then I rolled back out to Bessie. My dependable red van. You know, I really think it is time to get her that foldout ramp. She never lets me down, she needs something special, the ramp will give her a little bling to show off.

  On my way home I thought of something I had to do. It was so long overdue. I stopped at a florist and bought some lilies, they were her favorite after all. Mine too. Then I drove to the cemetery I had never visited, I had never thought I deserved to.

  I stopped at the office at the front gates to ask for directions then slowly wheeled down the paths. After a while I turned into the indicated row and started counting. Sixteenth down. I stopped in front of the little marker engraved with Evangeline Rene Qualls, Loving Mother. Silent tears started flowing unbidden. I laid the lilies on the marker. I'll have to do something about this stone, she deserves more than this.

  Everything was blurry through my watery eyes. “I'm sorry it took so long for me to come mom. I really believed it was my fault I lost you. I think some part of me still does. But I miss you so much and love you more than anything.”

  I wiped my eyes but the tears kept coming. “I did it mom. I fixed it. I gave her the card. I got Gwen and Marcie back. You never doubted I would.”

  I kept wiping the tears away, this emotional release was coupled with a huge sense of relief. I finally got ahead of the tears and smiled a little and whispered, “I met a girl mom. You'd really like her. Sarah. She makes everything better just with a smile. I think... I think she might be the one. I'm pretty much in love with her. She's smart, funny, insightful, strong... everything I want to be. She makes it all feel possible. I'll bring her by to see you sometime.”

  I sat in silence for a few minutes, I really did miss her so much. Finally I said, “I better get going, I have dinner with her tonight. I love you mom and I promise I'll be back often.” I wheeled off back to the van. This wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be. I felt a certain amount of closure for some of the conflicting feelings that burned in my heart.

  I stopped at the mall of all places. I try to avoid this place like the plague. It didn't take long to find what I had been looking for. I even got it gift wrapped with a little card in a green envelope. Then I had it stuffed in a black bag and minutes later Bessie and I were heading back home.

  I thought about mom, Sarah, the girls, Crystal, and a few others on the way back... it seems I never have been alone like I had always thought I was. I quickly made my way into the lobby and there was a red ribbon and bow across the freight elevator at the end of the hall with a sign taped to it “Qualls the Destructor”. I think I snorted. No, I take that back, I didn't snort. You can't prove it since nobody heard it!

  I opened the gate on the freight elevator and wheeled inside and pulled the gates shut and hit the button for the second floor. Groaning and grinding and squeaking I was swiftly raised to my floor and I pulled the gates open and Rolled out into the hall. Easier, but not necessarily quieter.

  I chuckled. Then I went inside our apartment to wait for the girls to get off work. I missed Sarah by my side... I hope they hurry.

  Chapter 15 – Thar Be Whales!

  I took an hour to listen to all the frantic voice mails from Gwen, Sarah, Crystal, Roberta, Maggie, the police? And a host of other people. I felt so embarrassed but I called all of the people back that didn't know I had returned. Each one chastised me like a mother would have a child. I was sufficiently shamed.

  I snacked then went about cleaning. I'm so used to my routine. I looked closer at my wheelchair, it had more dings and dents than I originally thought. One of the push-handles had paint stripped off and half the rubber torn away, it was bent down a little bit. It wouldn't budge when I tried pulling on it. I'll have to get it worked on. For now I wrapped black electrical tape around the rubber grip so it didn't fall off.

  Before long Gwen showed up. “Hey Whe...” She stopped and quickly corrected, “Reese.”

  I grinned, it will take a while to get used to her using my name again. “Hey right back at you, Gwen. You need to hurry and get ready for tonight. I don't want you looking like a ragamuffin at my... ummm... girlfriend's place.”

  She rolled her eyes and trudged off to her room. “Yes mother.”

  I grinned then went to the couch to watch the evening news and a few minutes later Marcie came in and comically called out, “Hi honeys, I'm hooome.” I didn't look back I just raised a hand over the top of the couch and waved.

  Is it weird that I felt weird? Not that I'll miss the bitchiness... but I'm just so used to it now. I finally craned my head back and Marcie put a package on the counter then was heading to their room. She was humorously mumbling something about moving her stuff back in and how much of a pain we were. My iPod chimed the arrival of a text message. I had to fight back a snort. Sarah sent [u still comin right? u no like go poof again?]. I snickered and replied, [dunno what in it 4 me?]. That'll teach me to tease, she sent back [me]. If I could curl my toes, they'd be curling right now! I couldn't stop smiling as I sent [omg deal! b there soon!].

  Just as the news was ending and I was going to prompt the girls that we needed to get going. They strutted out decked in Gwen's clubbing gear and O-M-G! By all that is holy, or maybe unholy, my roommates were hot! I just watched them saunter over and grab their purses and Marcie grabbed the package she had put on the counter.

  They were both looking at me expectantly. Gwen rolled her eyes and looked at Marcie. “Allow me.” She walked over to where I was sitting on the couch gawking at them and she brought a hand up and closed my mouth. “You're drooling, Reese. Let's get to your girlfriend's, you perve.”

  That snapped me out of it. I could feel an intense blush burning my face and neck. And murmured like a petulant kid, “I wasn't drooling.” Both the ladies laughed. I transferred to my chair shaking my head and started wheeling toward the door, grabbing my keys and purse. I mentally stopped myself again from checking for the green envelope.

  In the hall the girls looked at me then the elevator as I just popped a wheelie and started down the steps, chuckling before I said, “Down is easy, up is hard.”

  Once we got to the lobby door I paused for a second. There was a paper killer whale taped to the door. Odd... that wasn't there earlier today.

  We loaded up into my van, the girls fought over shotgun until I chastised them, “If you two can't behave then you both get in back.” A quick rock-paper-scissors battle later and Marcie was sitting smugly beside me as I brought Bessie to life.

  I checked the hand controls then as I was putting her in gear, I noticed another paper whale stapled to the telephone pole on the sidewalk. Marcie followed my gaze. I pulled away from the curb and all the way down the block there was another orca on each telephone pole.

  This continued all the way to Sarah's house. As I slowly realized what was happening, I could feel a million emotions battling to spill out from inside me
. My eyes were a little watery by the time we pulled up to Sarah's place.

  She was there on the porch swing waving at us. We disembarked and I grabbed the black bag with the gift in it and hung it off the push-handles behind me and popped the curb and went up the ramp to the porch.

  Sarah was drooling as she looked at Marcie and Gwen. She was mouthing “O-M-G”. I know the feeling. Then she pulled her eyes from them and looked at me and gave a cute shy wave with a paper killer whale taped to a Popsicle stick.

  I rolled right up to her and looked at the whale. She gave one of her patented squished up comical faces with the crinkled nose that does wonderful things to parts of my anatomy, then she said shyly, as she waved the whale again, “Now you know everything is going to be OK.”

  I felt a single tear flow down my cheek as I grabbed her and quickly kissed her then pulled her into a tight hug. She knows the exact right things to do and say. She is such a spectacular person!

  We all went inside and to the dining room table. I almost snorted. I gotta reign that in. With fine china and formal place settings, in the middle of the table sat Chinese takeout and a two liter bottle of cola. The place setting next to the chair that Sarah stood behind had no chair. I had to smile internally.

  They all sat and then Sarah said, “Oh crap, I forgot. Ree, could you run and grab some glasses for the drinks?”

  I nodded and started wheeling off, I noticed her stop Marcie from standing to help with a sly smile. What was that about? I got to the kitchen and saw the cute Hello Kitty birthday cake on the counter, but the glasses and plates she normally stacked on the counter for me were missing. I called out, “Where are they hiding?”

  She replied, “Upper cupboard to the right of the sink.”

  What the hell? Upper cupboard? Umm... I wheeled over and reached up and flicked the door open and looked up and almost laughed. Oh my God! I reached up and grabbed the handle that was there and tugged it and the shelves in the cabinet hinged and swung down to within my reach. I had always wanted to do this at our apartment but found that I never needed to go high. Which I know the reason for now.