Sacrifice of Mercy

by Shannon Dermott

  He took my hand. “I’m still your guardian. And you play an important role in what’s to come. In other words, I won’t get in trouble talking to you.”

  “What will you get in trouble for? By the way, how did it go earlier?”

  “I talked my way out of that one. So I’m good for now. Although, I’ll probably get reprimanded for not returning the summons.”

  “You’re being summoned?”

  He eyes dipped to my lips, and I felt a flush creep up my cheeks. Then they lifted back up to mine, and he nodded.

  “You should go. I can’t—”

  I couldn’t say what I wanted. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us.

  “I can’t go now Mercy. They would see. And if they see, the experiment I am to them would be deemed a failure.”

  I didn’t understand. “What would they see?”

  “My emotions. Warriors don’t have emotions. That’s a human failing.”

  “You’re not allowed to have emotions.” I couldn’t help repeating his words because it reminded me of Sebastian. Then again, Lucifer had been a warrior of heaven, once upon a time.

  “No. I just need some time to rest. Then I can face them on their terms.” His eyes filled with longing neither one of us had the heart to say. “Can I just lie with you for a while?”

  Suddenly choked up, I nodded. I wasn’t brave enough to say anything else, and neither was he.

  I scooted back on the bed, and he curled up beside me, resting his head on my belly. He locked his fingers with mine, and we lay silent for a time.

  Long minutes passed and finally I broke it. “You really watch over me.” I wondered how much he knew about me and Flynn without me saying it.

  His head moved the fabric against my stomach. “When Flynn’s not around to take care of you, I try my best to be there.”

  So he knew.

  “About Flynn—”

  “Please, not tonight Mercy. We both know you had to do what you did, otherwise…”

  Otherwise, Flynn would die. But that wasn’t all of it.

  Seconds ticked by until he said, “He’s happy.”

  I said nothing because I saw it, too.

  More silence drifted between us like currents onto the shore. It was calming knowing he understood, that we understood each other. His love for me and Flynn transcended any jealousy he used to harbor.

  “Sometimes, I replay your dreams in my head to get me by.”

  My heart cracked. “What dreams?”

  “The ones where we married and had kids. I used to watch you sleep within your sleep and talk to your belly.”

  In the room in Fairy, I’d gone there to be with Luke knowing it wasn’t real. I’d dreamed we had a normal life with kids. “What did you say?”

  “I would tell our child how much I loved you both.”

  “Even though you knew it was a dream? And how did you participate anyway?”

  He placed his hand on my stomach and not where most people thought it was. His hand was a little higher and anatomically correct. I felt the warmth spread, and relief sank into me.

  “Thanks.” The queasy feeling stopped. “But you didn’t answer me.”

  “There are things I’m not allowed to tell you.”

  I sighed. “Not that line again.”

  “If I told you, they would never let me see you again.”

  That stopped my pout. “Then don’t tell me.”

  “I did leave you something in my room.”

  “Your room.”

  He nodded. “I want you to retrieve it.”

  “What is it?”

  I yawned as the events were catching up with me.

  “You’ll know. Get some rest, Mercy. You have a big day tomorrow. You need to eat in the morning.”

  “What are you, my father now?”

  “No, but I’m someone who will always love you.”

  “Always?” I question, because even without jealousy, my relationship with Flynn was bound to hurt him.

  “Forever.” Quieter, he added, “Get some sleep.”

  I closed my eyes with my hand in Luke’s, and I tried not to do what he asked. I would ask him about the mysterious thing he wanted me to retrieve in morning.

  “Mercy.”

  Mom’s shout of my name had me pushing up in bed blinking my eyes open. My elbow hit flesh in the process, and a silent whoosh of air preceded a body hitting the floor.

  “Luke?”

  It didn’t take much movement on my part to glance over the edge of my twin bed. There with wide, confused eyes, Flynn lay on the floor.

  “Sorry,” I muttered for more reasons than one.

  “Mercy McKayla,” Mom barked gaining my attention again.

  I shifted my focus back to her, but my sleepy brain didn’t register why she was so pissed off.

  “A boy in your room.”

  “What?” I asked sure I hadn’t heard her right.

  “Come out here now.”

  A glance at the clock told me it was six in the morning. “Really. It’s early,” I whined.

  She tapped her foot, so I swung my legs over the opposite side of the bed from where Flynn lay between the bed and the outer wall.

  I practically stomped my feet as I marched out, pissed off myself.

  Our hallway wasn’t as grand as David’s. Two people could barely stand next to each other and walk side by side. So I wasn’t surprised when she closed my door.

  “What were you and Flynn doing in your room behind closed doors?”

  My mouth gaped. “Sleeping.”

  I hadn’t even known Luke left, and Flynn came in. Had they talked? If so what about?

  “He shouldn’t be in your room.”

  “You can’t be serious Mom. He’s my…” God, I hated the word. “Mate.”

  My admission took some of the wind out of her sails. She deflated in front of me. “I didn’t want this for you Mercy. I had many many years before I found someone to settle down with. You deserved a life, having fun, dating…”

  The defeated look on her face didn’t hide the love in her eyes.

  “Mom, I’m not sure I got the raw end of the deal. Flynn’s a great guy. He could have any girl he wants, and he’s stuck with me. I think I’m the lucky one.”

  I surprised myself with the admission.

  She rubbed a hand through her hair. “You don’t see how beautiful you are Mercy. He’s lucky too.” One step forward and she held me close. “You’re my baby.”

  That when I felt the bump in her belly that hadn’t seen before.

  “How far along are you?” I placed my hand on the bump invisible to me. “And why can’t I see it.”

  She moved her hand to the sides of the bump that wasn’t visible to the naked eye. “Cambion pregnancies are different than humans. They don’t last as long. Part of the magic of becoming a mother gives us the ability to glamour the bump from sight. The rapid growth of the child would give us away. In fact, I won’t be able to go to the hospital where I work to deliver. At least now that you know, I won’t have to hide it from you.”

  “Why do you have to go work at all? And how much longer do you have until it’s born?”

  She rolled her lips into her mouth and pinched them closed. Her next words would haunt me.

  “We don’t have long. Before the end of June.”

  “That soon?”

  She nodded. “There’s something you need to know.”

  “What?”

  “When the time comes, I’ll need the human life-support system to get me through delivery.”

  I gasped and threw myself into her arms. “I don’t want you to die.” She held me tight as I let my tears fall. “It isn’t fair.”

  She sounded so reasonable when she spoke.

  “Human children lose their parents all the time through accidents and diseases. At least we know and can spend the time we have together. There is so much I need to share with you. So much I haven’t told you because I wanted you to have as much o
f a normal life as you could. Plus, with everything that’s happened over the last several months, there hasn’t been time.”

  “I love you, Mom. I’m sorry for anything bad I ever said or did. You’ve been a great Mom. You did the best that you could. And I appreciate everything.”

  I vomited out the words like the meal I had last night. Everything just felt so final.

  She patted my back. “Thanks for that. I know I’ve made mistakes when it comes to you. I’ve only ever tried to do the right thing. Ultimately, as humans we fall short.”

  “Is it a girl or a boy?” The question just popped out of my mouth.

  Her face beamed with joy. “I’m not sure. We want to be surprised.”

  I wanted to ask how she would know since she would die about the time the baby is born. But I couldn’t bring myself to.

  “You need to get up and get ready. There is only the one bathroom for the five of you. I’m not sure if Rune, Tristrom or Mia will join you at school. So, you should get ready. I’ll make breakfast.”

  Panicked, I said, “That’s okay. I’ll make it. You should rest.”

  She smiled. “Still don’t trust my cooking.”

  I bit my lip and shook my head. “Not really.”

  She laughed good-naturedly. “Okay. Don’t be late.”

  She strode down the hall to her bedroom, and I wondered how David was handling the small confines of our home. I opened the door to my room where Flynn sat on the corner of the bed. I knew I needed to explain about calling him Luke. At that moment, I needed something else from him more.

  I tossed myself at him, and he caught me like a champ. I buried my face in his shoulder.

  “My mom’s going to die.”

  His arms came around me and his hold solid. “I know, and I’m sorry Mercy.”

  He did know. Even if he found out Lilith was his mother, the human woman whose body she used had died. And he’d lived all his life thinking he killed the woman whom he thought was his mom.

  “It’s not fair,” I said again that time to him.

  “It’s not.”

  Eventually, I dried my eyes on his shirt. I pulled back. “Do you know what’s weird?”

  “That you think I’m a catch?” He waggled his eyebrows, and I knew he was trying to lift my mood, and it was cute.

  “You heard that?”

  “Yeah.”

  Then again, why had I asked? Our walls were paper thin compared to David’s house.

  “What’s weird is that baby will be our sibling. Not mine or yours, but ours. Isn’t that creepy?”

  He laughed. “I guess it’s weird. Then again, we probably aren’t the first couple whose single parents got together.”

  “True, but if we were ever to have kids, our sibling would be an aunt or an uncle on both sides to our kids.”

  Flynn frowned. “We don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Why?” I asked matching his expression.

  “Because we aren't ever having kids.”

  My frown deepened. Honestly, I hadn’t thought much about having kids. The thought was really born out of our strange family dynamic. And I wasn’t quite ready for kids, and I didn’t think Flynn was either. But to never have kids?

  “Why’s that?”

  He tilted his head and stared at me in disbelief. “I’m not going to raise our kid alone.”

  I dropped my head. Duh. “I didn’t think, which is stupid. I was just crying about my mom. I guess, because I’m different, I didn’t think it could happen to me.”

  “And what if it does? I’m not willing to take that chance.”

  I placed my hand on his chest, and I could feel his heart racing. “What if you get tired of me one day? You might want to get rid of me.”

  A laugh escaped me. However, there was nothing funny about it. Unlike humans, there was no divorce from being mated. He needed me to survive. So there was no getting away from one another unless someone died.

  “Get rid of you. You can cook.” Then his eyes took a lingering journey down and up my body sending my heart galloping. “You can cook.”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “What more can a guy ask for?”

  My smile took a nose dive. Many thoughts came to mind, like a girl not encumbered in a semi-other relationship with another boy she loves.

  “We have school and only one bathroom. I’m going to take a shower.”

  His grin cocked up on one side before he tossed me on the bed. “Me first.”

  He raced out of the room laughing, and I couldn’t stop giggling myself. I heard the shower turn on down the hall, so I decided to find something to wear.

  When I opened the bag Flynn packed for me, I wanted to ring his neck. The shirts he chose for me weren’t ones I’d normally wear to school. They were more form fitting and something I would wear, say to a party. They weren’t flashy, just fleshy. At least they showed more skin than I was normally comfortable with.

  In the hall closet, I got a towel. I decided a little payback was in order. I undressed to my underwear in my room but put on a bra. I hid the straps by leaving them off and wrapped myself in a towel. For all intents and purposes, I looked like I was naked underneath. I padded to the bathroom and opened the door, which he'd left unlocked. I guessed he didn’t care if someone saw him bare-assed.

  The sound of the water hid my entrance and steam rolled from over the top of the shower bar. I wanted to move the curtain and get a good look at what I would call mine for the rest of my life.

  Instead, I leaned on the counter feeling hot, because he must like his showers boiling. I was pretty sure this was what it felt like to be in a sauna. The water stopped, and so did my breath. Would he open the curtain without grabbing a towel? I actually closed my eyes thinking that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. If he came into my bathroom without me knowing, I’d kill him.

  “Dang, Mercy. You scared the shit out of me.”

  I peeled open my eyes, and he stood with a towel slung around his hips. His mischievous grin gave me the confidence I needed to turn on the charm.

  “I thought maybe I’d join you, but it appears, I’m too late.”

  I gave him a saucy smile I hoped didn’t look weird. Then I pretended like I planned to remove the towel. He stepped forward and grabbed the two halves where they met. His fingers curled next to my flushed skin. His knuckles brushed the tops of my breast, and I knew I’d taken this way too far.

  He licked his lips. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  Trying to salvage my game, I said, “Why not?” And I lifted my chin for effect. My hands held the towel on the other sides of his hand. If he yanked down to call my bluff, my bra and panties would be revealed.

  He swallowed. “I’m really trying to be good here, Sunshine.”

  “Sunshine? I thought I was Petal.”

  He shook his head. “You’re not wilted anymore. You are a burst of light I want to consume. And you’re making me bad.”

  I almost chuffed at his words. “Me make you bad?”

  “If you could read my thoughts, you would know all the bad things I want to do to you.”

  Oh. I hadn’t said the word, but my mouth moved as if it had.

  “And we can’t. Not yet.”

  “Why?” My question was more out of curiosity than a challenge. As far as I knew, Flynn hadn’t been with anyone for a long while. And that was out of character and demonology. He wasn’t made to be idle when it came to such things.

  “We need to make things right first. I won’t start our relationship with a question between us. He needs to know.”

  He didn’t need to say his name for me to know who he was talking about. Anybody who knew me would know who the he was.

  “He knows about us.”

  There was a question in his eye. I hadn’t planned on telling Flynn about Luke coming around. It didn’t seem fair to either one of them that I flaunt the other’s time with me.

  “We talked last night.”
>
  I glanced to the side unable to meet his eye.

  “You told him about us.”

  I shook my head because saying no was admitting I’d been a coward.

  “That’s not the same then. He’s always known things. He knew how I felt about you before I admitted it myself. And he says nothing. He internalizes it all and makes everyone else feel okay.”

  Luke had been super chill about everything until closer to the end when whatever he’d been holding in started to boil over.

  “What am I supposed to say to him? I love him. I love you. He knows that. You know that. I can’t turn off my feelings because of what’s happening with us.”

  He uncurled his fingers from the towel and dropped his hand. His face slowly shook side to side as he spoke.

  “I know how you feel about both of us. But I can’t share you, Mercy. I can’t.”

  I wanted to reach out and touch him as water still dripped from his naked chest. Instead, I clung tighter to the towel and forced the words from my lips.

  “And what if I can’t let him go.”

  He had no idea the depth of emotions I got from Luke last night. He sounded like a thirsty, dying man, and I was his one drink of water. He couldn’t tell me all that was going on for fear he’d be banished from ever seeing me again. And at the same time, I felt like he was alone, and I was all he had left. How could I possibly leave him?

  “Then I’ll move on Mercy. I’ll spend my nights sharing energy with you to survive while I see other people.”

  My jaw dropped for the second time. “You’d do that even though it wouldn’t give you anything to be with someone else?”

  He nodded. “Why not? It’s what humans do in relationships.”

  No, I thought. That’s your skewed view on relationships because of what you had to do as a Cambion.

  “And what about me?”

  “You’d have him. Although I think we both know what you would have. In fact, if you’re honest, you would know that the decision has mostly been made for you. But I can’t be with you while you’re having an emotional relationship with him.”

  “Flynn—”

  “Shh,” he said and pressed his lips to mine. He held there for a second. “It’s okay, Mercy. I’m not mad. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. It’s doubtful I’d fall in love with someone else before you’ve figured out it’s me you want.”