by Pamela Ann
“He used to play for me—it was merely a hobby. What he did tonight was sweet, really,” she said with a smile.
“Mind letting us in on what the ‘promise’ was?” Lucy asked giddily.
I do want to know and I don’t. I don’t know how I’d survive sitting at this very table with Sienna for quite some time now without breaking down or doing something drastic.
She looked shy and discomfited for a second. “I um…sort of promised to um, consider him again. Trial period and such—but I haven’t given him an answer yet.” Her words hung in the air as she stared back and forth between Toby and Lucy.
“Are you sure that’s wise, Sienna? Do you remember the basis of the very reason you two broke up in the first place?” Toby asked with all sincerity.
“Don’t make any hasty decisions. But I get where you’re coming from—he is your first love and your best friend. The unbreakable bond between you two is remarkable. Think it through before breaking that barrier again,” Luce chimed in.
We all don’t want Sienna to be back with Kyle. We all knew and felt this way. But at the end of the day, it is all up to her.
I’m elated that she’s not back with him but a bit squashed that she’s even thinking of getting back with him.
What happened to the “I’m not going back to a cheater” speech she used to say?
6
Sienna
“I know…” I said, murmuring to myself more than anyone else.
Contrition and bitterness latched like a disease while sitting across Blake and his arm candy. She’s all over him like a rash. She’s gripping his arms or kissing his neck and he looks like he’s enjoying every ounce of devotion she’s bestowing upon him.
To make matters worse, she’s freaking stunning. I bet she has endless legs hiding behind the table. They look flawless together. When did they meet? Is she a girlfriend? I thought they said that Blake was playing the field, surely having a proper girlfriend is not part of the picture?
Blake doesn’t hide much of his feelings towards me. His actions and the way he spoke to me proved that he simply doesn’t care. Maybe I need to expose myself more with his treatment of me, so I would be immune to it and it wouldn’t bother me as much. When our eyes met for a brief second, my world stopped spinning. Those eyes took me in and swallowed me whole. I know I love him and wished with all my might that it would go away, but the more I fight it—the force becomes infuriatingly stronger.
Luce was ticked off with Ivanna, for reasons I have yet to drill out of her. I glanced over where Kyle was and caught his eye. He waved back and motioned for me to join them and I smiled. I should leave the table and join Kyle, but I didn’t want to. I like being close to Blake—even with his arm candy stuck to him.
My phone vibrated in my purse. When I took it out, the caller was unfamiliar. My gut churned. Shit, wasn’t this the hospital number? I paled. Chad! This call is about Chad.
God, please God. Don’t let anything happen to him. Please….please. He’s such a sweet soul, don’t take him away.
I prayed as I lifted the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I rushed out of the booth and hastily exited the bar to speak outside.
“Ms. Richards? This is Dr. Hill, Chad’s doctor.” I choked up and tears started to fall from my face. “Please don’t tell me anything bad…don’t do that. Please tell me he’s okay,” I sniffed in between hiccups. I’m so petrified at the thought of losing Chad that I didn’t even realize the people passing by on the sidewalk were staring with avid curiosity.
“Actually, no that’s not the reason I called. We’re calling because we have some good news. You’re friend is awake. He woke up thirty minutes ago.”
What?! Thank heavens! I knew he’d come through. I just felt it.
“This is such a great miracle! We’re all leaving to go see him now. Tell him we’ll see him soon!” A bubble of excitement sprung out of me. I turned around wiping the tears from my eyes when I ran into a hard muscled chest. I swallowed and slowly lifted my eyes all the way to his eyes. He looked worried.
“What’s happened? Why are you crying?” Blake gently wiped my tears with his thumbs. His touch made me weep more. I miss you…my heart pounded with suffering.
“It’s Chad. He’s awake. We have to go see him right away.”
After I told Blake that piece of information, he gathered everyone from the booth waved a cab and we all left for the hospital. I saw Blake ask his driver to take Ivanna back to her apartment with his car. I’m hoping they aren’t serious with each other. But the way she kissed his cheek and clung to him when they said their goodbyes broke me. I couldn’t stand seeing him with anyone.
Not one word passed from our lips during the cab ride. We were happy and petrified at the same time. I rushed out of the cab the second it hit the hospital pavement. I went through the emergency room to get to his room. It was past midnight and after visiting hours.
I turned around when I heard a long whistle from one of the male hospital staff. Oh, boo! I forgot I’m wearing a blasted corset, leather pants and killer boots. Men and their libido…it doesn’t even halt in the hospital where there are sick and dying people about.
“You better keep your opinions to yourself if you want to keep your job,” Blake’s angry voice barked behind me. The male staffer mumbled an apology and left the area.
Damn it, I love it when he’s all territorial.
I was about to open Chad’s door when Lucy stopped me. “Sienna—wait! Let’s do this together.” Holding each other’s hands, I turned the knob slowly and we entered the quiet room.
“’Bout time you guys got here! I’ve been waiting for ages! I think I’ve grown a few white hairs already,” Chad whined with a tired voice. I ran to his bed and hugged the life out of him.
“You ghastly man! You gave us all a fright!” I said, clearly relieved and happy.
Wiping my tears away with the back of my hands, Luce jumped on the bed and gave Chad kisses all over his face. “Don’t you dare—ever do that again! You caused me so many wrinkles my love!” She laughed at her absurdity.
Blake and Toby sat silently on the foot on the bed. Though we are all relieved, worry was still etched in both of their faces. “I’m glad to have you back mate. We’ve all been vigilant and you don’t understand how happy we are that you’ve recovered.” Toby smiled at Chad.
Chad started to tear and I felt gutted feeling his own misery. “I’m sorry…I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt trapped and I was…drowning rapidly, I barely had the chance to take a breath. I’m grateful that I have friends that love and support me.” He took a deep breath and his lips wobbled before he spoke again. “It all started when I got a call from my parents a month ago. They heard a rumor that I was gay. I never told them because they’re very religious people as I told all of you—but they are on the extreme side. I didn’t even bother denying the accusation because it was the truth. And I thought…why not? There will never be the ‘right time’ to come out of the closet. It was now or never. They both called me names and said I was a disgrace and wished they gave me away to be adopted had they known they were raising a gay son. I was so consumed with sorrow and grief that I decided to party with a few friends that used coke. I took a few hits to make myself feel better. For the time being I was numb from feeling and I loved it.” He sniffed and I touched his arm.
“Sweetie—you don’t have to say anything right now. Maybe you should rest.”
He shook his head, “Thanks…but no. I have to get this out. I have to let it out.” I nodded and waited for him to continue.
“After that first try—I did more for the next few days. They introduced me to gambling and my coke consumption accelerated daily. My body started to weaken from lack of sleep and nutrition, but I didn’t care anymore. The night before we met at the pub to catch up, my parents called again. It was a short call…just basically telling me that I was disowned and that they’ll ship all of my things here or they would donate it. My mom—we use
d to be so close and I felt betrayed that my own mother can’t even be there for me. The mother I knew became cold and distant—she didn’t sound like my mom. She told me she hated me and never wished to see me again. That call ended me—it ended everything that I believed in. So, I went out with the same crowd—feeling like piece of shit and feeling worthless. I decided that night to consume a great amount of coke and alcohol until I passed out and never surfaced again.”
Lucy hugged him. “Chad—you should’ve told us. I didn’t have a clue nor did Sienna. We felt so helpless. I’m sorry…”
We all sobbed quietly together, even Toby looked teary and Blake mainly looked grieved. Our little reunion was interrupted when Dr. Hill entered the room. “I see you’ve been catching up with your mates,” he smiled at all of us. “We have to run a few more tests and I need Chad to be well rested. You’re all more than welcome to come back tomorrow.”
We were all hesitant to leave him in the hospital alone—but we had to follow the doctor’s orders. We all took turns saying goodbye. When it was my turn, I held him tightly and kissed his forehead. Looking at Chad’s dark sorrow-filled eyes, “Life has its way of testing our limits and this won’t be the last time it will try to take you down. But know that—when you’re beaten and drowning, we’re all here to help and pull you out of the dark. That’s what we’re here for. We love you.” As I kissed his forehead, Chad smiled brightly at me.
“Thanks baby love.”
I gave him a little wave before leaving the room and promised him that we’ll all be back tomorrow morning.
Hopping in the cab, we were all silent again. I smirked thinking that we tend to be quiet lately when we’re all in a car. Someone’s stomach growled, breaking the eerie silence. Lucy laughed like she was being tickled. We all joined in—her laughter was contagious. I caught a glimpse of Blake laughing and I felt my heart convulse with agony. He looked like the Blake…the old Blake, happy and amorous. I think we all felt relieved that our friend was out of the woods. I can’t pray enough to say my thanks.
“Sorry fellas—but I’m peckish,” Toby declared.
“What do you fancy? We could grab something on the way.” Luce kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Spaghetti.”
She smiled, “Then spaghetti it is.” Kissing her forehead, he whispered “I love you” and she happily sighed and returned the sentiment.
I looked away and faced the window trying to distract myself. Hordes of people walking about drunk and boisterous clearly enjoying their night—and yet I was blindly seeing nothing. How I wish my mom and dad were alive. They would guide me and give me good advice—then maybe I wouldn’t be such a broken person and I didn’t have to go through the living nightmare in hell with the Browns. If I grew up with my parents, I’d be a different person. But alas, luck wasn’t on my side. I am what I am—no point in wishing and dwelling otherwise. I want what Toby and Luce have. But for me to be able to achieve that, I have to break down all the barriers I have erected around me. That’s a tough predicament to embark upon. And I’m not ready to be barefaced and open.
The cab stopped outside our flat building and Toby paid the driver. We all departed the cab and went inside. Once inside the confines of the apartment, Luce made her way to the kitchen to cook pasta. The smell of warm vanilla and honey permeated the air. I felt calm and relaxed for the very first time in the last few weeks.
I was about to place my purse down on the counter when I heard my phone vibrate. Fishing it out of my purse, I scanned the screen. I had thirty-two missed calls from Kyle. Ten voicemails and a dozen text messages, guilt ate at me. I had seriously forgotten about him. I didn’t even say goodbye because we were a riot the moment we heard Chad woke up.
My, I’m so terrible. Why doesn’t he give up on me? Because he loves you and vowed to marry you since he was ten years old, that’s why.
I went into the living room, sat on the couch and dialed Kyle. Our flat had an open space floor plan and I could hear Luce chopping her heart away in the kitchen while Toby and Blake sat around the counter drinking wine as they chatted about.
“Hey…sorry I didn’t say goodbye before leaving, but the hospital called and informed me that Chad woke up. We all rushed to get there without much thought.” Hearing his depressing sigh, I waited for him to say something.
“You could have at least texted me on the way—but you didn’t even bother.” He sounded so sad. And it’s all because of me. Why didn’t I just shoot him a text message? Why didn’t I think of it? I berated myself. Because you simply forgot about him…period.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d worry like this.”
“Just try to remember that the next time you do.”
We chatted for another ten minutes and he asked about Chad. It didn’t feel right to tell him about what Chad revealed to us tonight. So, I left that part out. It wasn’t my story to tell, it was Chad’s. He made me promise to call him tomorrow and we said our goodnights.
I made my way into the kitchen and the smell of brewing tomato sauce and basil made my stomach growl.
Smiling, I sat on the stool in between Blake and Toby. Blake poured me a glass of red wine and carefully placed it before me. He was still distant but he was reaching out. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I murmured “Thank you.”
“Can someone please set the table?” Lucy asked while she tasted her pasta sauce. Both of the men offered and set out to their duty.
“What can I do to help? Do you guys want garlic bread?” They all said yes in unison. My mood was cheerful and I dashed to get my phone and placed it on the player for some music. I chose the light jazzy beats of Emilie-Claire Barlow and started with Les Yeux Ouverts her own French rendition of the famed song Dream A Little Dream Of Me.
In the kitchen, I scoured for a French loaf and cut them up. Taking out a baking tray, I placed all the slices of bread accordingly. I slathered it with butter with a dash of garlic and onion powder and finished it with a hint of dried parsley. I placed the tray in the oven and timed it for eight minutes.
Dinner was served and we devoured the entire dish. We finished the pasta to the last drop of sauce and to the very last crumb of garlic bread. We drank three bottles of red wine together and we were soon feeling the effects of food coma.
Toby stretched lazily, yawned loudly and tapped his flat stomach. “That was marvelous! You’ve delightfully sated my appetite Luce. Now it’s time to quench my other ravenous cravings.”
She laughed and threw a napkin at him. “Toby! Have you no shame?” Her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.
“Oh, what rubbish—we all like sex here. What do you say mate? Mind telling us how those two mind-blowing orgasms came about in the mile high club?”
I bit my lip not knowing if I should laugh or cringe. Toby’s tongue was loosened by the wine and he was grilling Blake about his fucking sex life with Ivanna. Toby mentioned the “mile high club” meaning Blake was fucking the lights out of her on his way to Italy. That can only mean one thing….if he brought Ivanna with him to meet his family…then they might be really serious about each other.
“I don’t want to discuss my sex life Toby,” his jaw muscles locked, the question clearly bothered him.
“Toby that’s enough, love. You’re clearly knackered and in dire need of sleep. Go get ready for bed while I clean and wash up.” Luce pulled him out of the chair and directed him to her bedroom.
“You two go—I’ll wash up. You cooked already—it’s my turn to clean,” I offered. Grateful, Luce gave me a quick hug and did the same with Blake and bid us both goodnight.
The flat seemed a bit quiet without those two in the room. Even with the soft music playing, the tension was palpable.
I got up and gathered all the plates and dishes and deposited them in the sink. I rinsed and placed them the dishwasher. Blake quietly handed me all used wine glasses to wash while he took care of wiping the table and the counter. He returned the c
oasters, table placemats and bottle openers amongst other things on the table and placed them back accordingly to where they’re supposed to be. He knew this apartment like it was his own.
Wiping my wet hands with the dish towel, I went over to where my phone was sitting on the holder and took it out of the music player. Blake was leaning against the counter with his arms folded on his chest and his right foot over the other one. His eyes zeroed in on me, liquid midnight blue/silver eyes beautifully flecked with scattered gold. The silver and blue overpower each other sometimes—depending on his mood. I had slightly forgotten the kind of power his magnetic gaze over me—now I’m fully reacquainted by their compelling magnetism and the sexual aura the owner has.
“Thanks for helping me clean up—you didn’t have to but I appreciated it all the same.” He merely shrugged never taking those liquid silver eyes off me.
Pressing my lips together, I studied his big manly-shaped hands with intense scrutiny and the thought dawned on me that those same hands caressed another woman today.
Don’t. Don’t go there. Don’t torture yourself.
“I’m going to bed now—do you want me to call you a cab or are you going to call your driver to pick you up?”
“I gave Robert the rest of the night off. I didn’t see the need of him waiting whenever I emerged from the hospital. He has a family to go home to.” A considerate man that’ll be running a billion dollar company—I bet the people who worked for him loved that about him. He was a fair man and quite receptive to other’s needs.
“You want me to call you a cab to take you back to your apartment in Mayfair or you’d rather be somewhere else?” I couldn’t bring myself to say “or you’d rather go to Ivanna’s place” because I’m a ninny and I’m not sure I’d love to relinquish on the idea, yet again, about their mile high orgasms.
“I don’t go home to Mayfair. I could go to my office or get a room at the Savoy but I can’t be bothered. I’m exceptionally and genuinely knackered. Do you mind if I crash on the couch?” asking whilst raking a hand through those wavy locks of his.
