One of the Guys

by Jessica Strassner

  Kate sagged lower in her seat. “I guess I was talking about Max.”

  Lucy shook her head. “I knew it…” She stopped.

  Kate looked at her sideways. “Oh, it’s okay,” Kate said. “I know it, too. This was all a bad idea. All of it. Trying to do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing with Max. Trying to date Chris. It was stupid.”

  They drove along quietly for awhile, and then Lucy finally spoke. “Jackson said to tell you this morning that you shouldn’t shit where you eat,” she said, biting her lip and trying to suppress a giggle.

  Kate snorted. “He would.” She raised her coffee cup to her lips and then swung her head around slowly to look at Kate. “Did you tell him? He knows?”

  “Well…” Lucy exhaled. “He knew about Chris. I mean, we had dinner together and everything. And I didn’t say anything about Max, I swear, but somehow he knew.”

  Kate’s eyes widened. “What do you mean, he knew? He knew what?”

  “About your… arrangement.”

  “What?” Kate shrieked. “That’s impossible. We never acted like there was anything going on between us. I never told him. Are you sure you didn’t say anything?”

  “I promise,” Lucy said. “But he didn’t say anything to Kevin, I don’t think. He just said something about how you weren’t having much luck in the dating department.”

  Kate groaned. That was an understatement. Things with Max were so messed up; he acted like he wanted a relationship, then he disappeared last night with that blonde girl. And Chris seemed like he was interested in her, but so far he hadn’t made a move past making out on the couch. He hardly spoke to her at the party, but then all of a sudden he wanted to come over?

  “I give up,” Kate said.

  “What?”

  “Max and Chris. Forget ‘em both.”

  “Really?”

  Kate nodded. “Jackson’s right. About shitting where I eat.”

  Lucy pulled into their driveway and turned off the ignition. “You’re serious?”

  “I can’t date them. They’re my friends. The whole time, we were sneaking around and trying not to let anybody know what was going on. What is that? That’s no way to start a relationship. And it’s not like either of those relationships was going anywhere, anyway, right?”

  Lucy nodded and leaned back in the driver’s seat. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I’m done with both of them. I’ll tell Max that since he took off with that blonde girl last night that I don’t think we need to see each other anymore. And I’ll tell Chris that since we haven’t really moved forward in our relationship yet, that there’s no point in continuing.”

  Lucy and Kate got out of the car and headed towards the house. Kate dropped her purse by the door and kicked off her shoes. “But first,” she said, “I’m going back to bed.”

  *

  Kate woke a few hours later, disoriented and very, very thirsty, but happy to discover that the pounding in her head had stopped. She tucked the covers under her chin, trying to figure out what time it was without having to roll over and look at the clock. She could hear the TV in the living room. It sounded like there was a football game on. Lucy wouldn’t be watching football by herself, which meant that Jackson must have come over. She yawned and got out of bed, glancing at the clock over her shoulder. It was just after four in the afternoon. She was starving. Hopefully Lucy and Jackson would be cooking something for dinner.

  She left her bedroom and waved wordlessly at Lucy and Jackson, who were both sprawled on the couch. Lucy had a stack of wedding magazines in front of her, and Jackson was holding the remote control in his hands. They watched, amused, as Kate shuffled into the kitchen, poured a huge glass of water from the fridge dispenser, and then shuffled back into the living room. She sat down in the big overstuffed chair and put her feet up on the ottoman. “Don’t even say anything,” Kate said, catching the smirk that was beginning on Jackson’s lips. “I already heard what you said,” she sighed.

  Jackson grinned and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. “Seriously, Kate? You couldn’t try dating outside of the friend pool? Like there’s not a bazillion guys out there?”

  “Leave her alone, Jack,” Lucy warned.

  Kate shrugged. “Whatever. It was stupid. I know.” She took a long guzzle of water.

  “And not just one guy, but two? What the hell?”

  “Hey,” Kate said. “About that. How did you know about both?”

  “Well, Chris was over here enough. That was easy.”

  “But how’d you know about Max?”

  Jackson squirmed. “From him.”

  “He told you?” Kate squealed. “That asshole. That was supposed to be a secret.”

  Jackson nodded. “Relax. Yes, I know. He told me all about the friends with benefits thing you had going on.”

  Kate drained her water and placed the empty glass on the coffee table. She curled up in a ball and sat staring at Jackson. “Why did he tell you? What did he say?” She shuddered at the thought of Max telling Jackson about their arrangement – what they did, what happened when they were together. Ugh.

  “When you guys first started hooking up, he was all excited. See, the thing is, Max always hoped it would turn into something more than just what you two had going on.”

  Kate groaned. “I know. But I told him it wouldn’t.”

  “But he still hoped that it would. He really had feelings for you, Kate.”

  “But that’s dumb. We’re just friends.”

  “He had feelings for you, Kate,” Jackson repeated.

  “Feelings?” Lucy asked.

  “Feelings,” Jackson said. “Like, he really wanted you guys to be more than just friends with benefits. He wanted you to be a couple. He wanted you to be his girlfriend. And he was serious. But you kept telling him no.”

  “I know,” Kate said in a small voice.

  “But why?” Jackson said, genuinely confused.

  “Well, because we’re friends…”

  “And you and Chris are…?” Jackson purposely left the question hanging.

  “It doesn’t matter. I’m done with both of them, Jackson,” Kate said. “I can’t be with either one of them. It’s not going to work out either way. It’s just dumb. I give up.”

  Jackson held his hands up. “I’m not telling you what to do or anything. But I will say one thing. Things will either all blow over and it’ll just be no big deal, or…”

  “Or what?”

  “Or things could get really awkward.”

  *

  Later that evening, Kate was lying on her stomach, scrolling through numbers in her phone. She was looking for guys that she had dated in the past, or guys that she could possibly call up and go out with, but none of the names she came across seemed like they would work. Tim? He’d been nice, but there hadn’t really been much of a spark. Drew? Even though he was thirty-five, he still partied like he was twenty-two. Every time Kate ran into him somewhere, she felt like she was babysitting. Brian? He’d gotten married, hadn’t he? She deleted those numbers and considered a few more.

  “What are you doing?” Lucy asked, coming into the room and crawling onto the bed next to her.

  Kate tossed the phone over her shoulder onto the bed behind her and rested her chin on her hands. “This whole dating thing is so stupid,” she said. “I don’t know anybody worth dating. Maybe I should go on a dating sabbatical.”

  Lucy let out a groan. “Why are you so obsessed with dating all of a sudden?”

  Kate sighed. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Uh, hello. I’m your best friend. Try me.”

  Kate hesitated. She didn’t want to ruin the afterglow of Lucy and Jackson’s engagement, but since she’d asked… “You’re getting married,” Kate said. “You’re going to be married, and I’m still going to be single.”

  “So what?”

  “So… Things are going to change. You’re going to start doing… married things.”
<
br />   “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I’m serious,” Kate said. “Our friendship won’t be the same.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. How will our friendship be any different?”

  “I don’t know. It just will. You’ll see,” Kate said. Lucy sat looking at her in amazement. “I told you that you wouldn’t understand,” Kate smiled.

  “My sister’s pregnant,” Lucy blurted.

  “Yeah. And? What does that have to do with anything?”

  “You think I don’t understand? My little sister is having a baby. She’s totally excited and ready for it. She can’t wait. She’s one of those girls that loves being pregnant and loves shopping for maternity clothes and loves watching her belly grow.”

  Kate raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

  “So… It scares the shit out of me. And it made me realize that I don’t want to have kids. And Jackson and I have talked about it – he doesn’t, either. So now, we’re going to have to spend the rest of our lives explaining to people why we don’t have kids. Or why we don’t want to have kids. While everyone fawns over my sister and her baby and her family. We just got engaged and people are already asking us when we’re going to start having kids. Already!”

  Kate chewed her lip. Lucy had a point. She did understand.

  “So, I promise you. Even after I get married, I’m still going to be me. Just with a different last name,” Lucy said, holding out her left hand and smiling at her sparkly engagement ring. “And we will still be best friends, no matter what.”

  Kate rested her head on Lucy’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she said.

  Lucy patted her chin. “Anything for you.”

  “Anything?” Kate asked. “Does Jackson have any cute cousins you could introduce me to?”

  “Kate…”

  “I was kidding! Just kidding.”

  “No, you weren’t.”

  “Okay, I wasn’t kidding.”

  “Seriously. Maybe you should just give the whole dating thing a rest for awhile. Take a break. You don’t need to date anybody. Just have fun. Work. Go out. Do stuff. Without worrying about finding the right guy. He’ll come along eventually.”

  “Says the one marrying her high school sweetheart.”

  “And look how long that took to work out,” Lucy said, getting to her feet. “It’ll happen when you least expect it. Watch.”

  *

  A few days later, Kate was shocked to come home from work and find a stack of moving boxes piled up in the living room. She surveyed the coffee table, which was scattered with Post-It notes, rolls of packing tape, and thick black markers. She swallowed hard. Of course Lucy would be moving out. Jackson had bought them a house.

  Kate dropped her purse by the door and crossed the living room to peek into Lucy’s bedroom. “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi!” Lucy said, loosening and retying her ponytail. “How was your day? I was thinking about ordering a pizza or something,” she said. “I brought home all these boxes from school and once I started, I completely forgot about dinner.”

  Kate plopped down on the edge of the bed, sitting on a pile of t-shirts. “That’s fine.”

  “Are you okay?” Lucy asked, taking a handful of paperback books off of the bookshelf and crouching down to layer them in the box at her feet. “How was your day?” When she looked up again, she was surprised to see tears spilling down Kate’s cheeks.

  Kate managed a feeble laugh through her tears. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she said. “I should be happy for you. For both of you. I just feel like I’m losing my best friend! I don’t know.”

  Lucy pushed aside a pile of folded sweaters and sat down next to Kate. She threw her arms around her friend and gave her a squeeze. “I told you, nothing will change!”

  “I know, I know,” Kate said, fanning herself. She wiped her nose. “I guess I just can’t believe you’re getting married. And to Jackson!” she said. “I feel like you should’ve done all this ten years ago!”

  Lucy grinned. “I know. I feel the same way.”

  Kate smiled and slid her arm around Lucy. “I really am happy for you guys. You guys were meant to be together.”

  Lucy inhaled deeply and looked down at the box of books at her feet. She exhaled. “It wasn’t easy. For awhile there, I wasn’t sure if we were ever going to get together. And we definitely pissed some people off along the way,” she said. Then she looked at Kate. “But I’d do it all over again to be with Jackson.”

  Kate nodded and wiped at her eyes, looking around at the clothes strewn around the floor and on the bed. “So, what can I do to help?”

  “Oh. So now you’re ready to kick me out?” Lucy giggled.

  “You’re the one with the big fancy house waiting for you,” Kate teased.

  Kate changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and called to order the pizza. Then she returned to help Lucy finish boxing things up from around her room – mostly books, summer clothes, and other little odds and ends.

  It had only been eight months or so since Kate had helped Lucy unpack her things in this room when she had broken up with her fiancé, Matt. Lucy had moved in with Kate because she didn’t want to return home to her parents’ house. At the time, Lucy’s sister had been planning her wedding, and Lucy had just destroyed her future with Matt in the hopes of starting over with Jackson. So, yes, she probably understood how Kate was feeling, even better than Kate realized.

  They carried the boxes into the living room and sat on the floor to eat their pizza. “What’s Jackson up to tonight?” Kate asked.

  “He’s painting our bedroom. We’re leaving most of the house the way it is, but we wanted some color upstairs. We picked out a shade of sage green. It’s really pretty. Not too girly, not too… boring,” Lucy said, chewing on a pizza crust.

  Kate picked a pepperoni off of a slice and popped it into her mouth. “At least Jackson has good taste,” she said. “And he’s neat. He’s not a slob or anything.”

  Lucy nodded in agreement. “We had no problem picking out new bedding and all that stuff. I couldn’t believe it. And he’s so excited to register for wedding presents,” she giggled.

  “Your house will look so awesome,” Kate said. “Do you think you’ll be all moved in by the holidays?” she asked.

  “I’d really like to be all settled by Christmas,” she said. “But we’ll see.”

  “Maybe you could have a Christmas party at your house,” Kate suggested. “Or New Year’s Eve.”

  Lucy seemed to like that idea. “As long as we actually have furniture and stuff.”

  “And please make Jackson buy a dining room table.”

  “What?” Lucy laughed.

  “At Kevin’s apartment, he doesn’t have a dining room table. Kevin has a poker table where the dining room table should be.” Lucy gasped and Kate giggled, unsure as to why that particular thought had popped into her head.

  “Maybe that should be the first thing we buy,” Lucy grinned. “Jackson was already talking about whether or not we’d have enough room for a pool table…”

  “No!” Kate squealed. “Although that would be better than the poker table.”

  Lucy shook her head and gathered up their paper plates and napkins. Kate closed the pizza box and stuffed it in the fridge. “I don’t think so,” Lucy groaned. “Not in my house.”

  *

  Kate shivered as she pulled the gate closed behind her and hurried to get back in her car. If there was one thing that she didn’t like about her parents’ house, it was how dark it was. It was only six o’clock, but it was pitch black, and it was much colder here than it was back home. The last time she had been to her parents’ house was when she and Chris had had to do battle with the roaming pigs. Now it was two days before Thanksgiving!

  Her dad had eventually gotten over the fact that the garden was a complete and total loss and he had successfully repaired the electric fence surrounding the pig pen. Now he liked to tease her about it, trying to picture her run
ning around in the woods, chasing after Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.

  She parked next to her dad’s pickup truck and pulled her overnight bag and purse out of the backseat, along with a twelve-pack of beer. She closed the car door with her hip and made her way up the steps to the front door.

  “There’s my girl!” Bob Thompson cried, holding the door open for her. “I’ll take those,” he said, relieving her of the case of beer and bending down for a kiss on the cheek.

  “Hi, Dad.” While he went off to put the beer in the fridge, Kate dropped her bag and purse on her bed in the guest room and then went to join her mom in the kitchen.

  She wrapped her arms around her mom’s shoulders as she flipped three massive breaded pork chops in a hot skillet. “How are you?”

  “I’m good,” Kate said, giving her mom a squeeze and pulling out a chair at the kitchen table. Her dad, having finished putting the beer in the fridge, sat down and passed her a cold one. They both cracked their beers and clinked the cans together.

  “How’s your… boyfriend?” Karen asked, turning around to steal a glance at her daughter.

  Kate knew it wouldn’t be long before her mom asked. “No boyfriend,” she said.

  “What happened to pig boy?” her dad asked.

  Kate grinned at her dad’s nickname for Chris. “Pig boy and I are just friends,” she said. At the stove, her mom clucked.

  “That’s too bad,” Karen said.

  Kate shrugged. “Not a big deal. We’ve been friends for awhile. No sense in messing that up. It would just complicate things.”

  “Your mom said he was one of your poker buddies.”

  Kate nodded.

  “Don’t you have any girl friends?” Karen asked, bending down to peek at the scalloped potatoes in the oven. “I mean, don’t you and Lucy ever do anything together? All I ever hear about is you and Jackson and the boys you play poker with.”

  “They’re my friends,” Kate said helplessly. “And they’re all very good friends, which is exactly why I’m not dating them anymore.” When this last sentence came out, Kate clamped her lips together, hoping that her parents didn’t catch how that sounded. …I’m not dating THEM anymore.