Lady of Charade

by St. Clair, Ellie

  “Sarah, you will come, will you not?” Phoebe asked once more, and Sarah played with the ribbon that was tied around the waist of her dress.

  “I…” she looked around at the three of them, at the expectant smiles on their faces and thought of the promise of a wonderful time together ahead. “Very well,” she replied in a rush, considering that perhaps she could have one more enjoyable weekend with them. “For a short time.”

  “Any time that works for you,” Phoebe said, and Sarah swallowed. She should have said no, should have left England completely, but at the very least they would be heading out to the country, where the air was cleaner and the surroundings, while likely perfectly manicured landscapes, might offer a sense of home.

  Sarah nodded, and Phoebe clapped her hands together once excitedly.

  “Very good,” she said. “I shall see you all there in a week’s time.”

  What she was to do until then, Sarah had no idea.

  Chapter Sixteen

  David trotted along beside the three other men—Clarence, Berkley, and Eddie Francis, the jockey who had captured Lady Julia’s heart. Their coming together had been quite the unusual situation, but then, it had all seemed to work out well for them and even Julia’s parents hadn’t seemed particularly displeased by their daughter’s marriage.

  David welcomed the warm sun upon his face, the fresh air of the countryside filling and renewing him. Some time out of the city—that was what he needed. Perhaps Sarah’s words were having an effect on him.

  He hadn’t spent much time in the past few years at any of his parents’ estates. Of course, he would attend the odd weekend party or visit them for a short while each summer, but he always felt rather… alone when he was there, despite what family may have accompanied him.

  He glanced over at the carriage trundling along beside them, which held the women. He smiled at the thought of the four women and the four men who were traveling together—three couples married, leaving him and Sarah.

  His smile fell somewhat, however, when he thought of the strain that had formed within their relationship over the past week. Not so much a strain, perhaps, but… distance that he would have thought had been bridged since their night together.

  Clarence glanced over at him, perceptive to David’s countenance, which was currently aimed toward the said carriage.

  “Does something—or someone—have you down, friend?” he asked drolly, with a smile that only turned up one side of his lips, and David straightened.

  “Not entirely,” he answered, not wanting to lie but also not exactly keen on sharing his state of emotions with his friend.

  “She must be different, this one,” Berkley chimed in, “For I have never known a woman to affect you before, Redmond.”

  “I am not affected,” he defended himself, and Berkley chuckled.

  “’Tis nothing to be ashamed of,” the blond man said, shaking his head. “We’ve all been there before. Miss Jones, she’s a lovely one, that is true.”

  “I do hope,” Clarence said, his expression now serious as he glanced over at David, “That you have done nothing to compromise one of the closest friends of my wife.”

  David shifted uncomfortably in his saddle, as he was unable to meet the Duke’s eye. He wasn’t sure Clarence would accept the explanation that they had each been willing partners, that Sarah had asked it of him, and that it had been about more than just the coming together of their bodies.

  He opened his mouth to refute their words and defend himself, but as he did so he realized that he was, in fact, lost, having no idea what direction to now take when it came to his relationship with Sarah Jones. These three men had found happiness—perhaps they could help guide him.

  “I was under the impression that perhaps she and I were entering into an… understanding with one another,” he said, not missing Clarence’s perceptive glance. “However, it appears I must have been mistaken as she has been rather cold for the past week or so.”

  “She’s distancing herself from you,” Eddie said, and David started for a moment, nearly forgetting the man who had been riding along silently beside them, listening to their conversation. “No insult meant, Redmond, but…”

  He trailed off as though unsure of whether or not it was his place to say anything, but Clarence took pity on him, obviously much more at ease in saying exactly what he thought to David.

  “Why would she not be worried about what it could mean to become close to you, what with the company you keep?”

  “I have not kept such company lately,” David muttered, and Clarence chuckled.

  “Even so,” he acknowledged. “Just what do you think my wife is telling her about you within that carriage right now?”

  David rubbed at his temple. He had never thought he would have any reason to regret the life of pleasure he had been living, but apparently, he was very, very wrong.

  “Whatever she feels, I did promise to help her,” he said, needing to speak of something else.

  “With finding her father,” Clarence confirmed, and David nodded. At the knowing gazes of the other men, David knew that they were all aware of the situation. “I have been doing my best to determine his identity for some time now, but with the lack of information…” Clarence continued, clearly unsure of himself now as well.

  David nodded. He knew that Clarence was the best help Sarah could find. The man seemed to know everything about everyone. And yet the thought of the Duke being the one to aid her in her quest caused a fit of odd jealousy to begin to flare within him—despite the fact that the man was happily married to one of Sarah’s closest friends.

  He pushed aside the irrational emotion to address the issue at hand.

  “I have something now—something that might help,” David said, shifting the reins into one hand as he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out the ring. He passed it over to Clarence, taking care not to drop it between them.

  “It’s a family crest,” Clarence said, raising his eyebrows, somewhat incredulous. “Where did you find this?”

  David’s cheeks warmed for a moment as he realized he could not entirely tell the truth—that he had found it near the washbasin in Sarah’s rooms when he was dressing one morning.

  “Miss Jones had it on her person,” he finally managed. “I saw it upon her finger—her thumb I suppose—and asked her where she had gotten such a thing. She told me her mother had given it to her, that it had been her father’s previously.”

  “Why did she not think to give this to me earlier?”

  “She thought it was nothing but an insignificant trinket,” David said, repeating her words. “Do you recognize it?”

  “No,” Clarence shook his head before showing it to Berkley, who also had no recognition of the ring. “However, we can look further into it—unfortunately likely not until we return back to London.”

  “Very well,” David said, nodding his head.

  A few hours later, they finally arrived at Berkley’s estate and the ladies emerged from the carriage, looking pleased to finally be out amidst the fresh air.

  “We should have ridden ourselves,” Julia grumbled, though her countenance turned much more pleasant as they entered the grand estate through the front entrance, which was surrounded by columns reminiscent of Greece. The entrance hall where they congregated as the servants greeted them and took their bags was a mint green with cream wainscoting and a fireplace surrounded by busts of Roman figurines, a pattern which was echoed within the ceiling.

  “My great-grandparents were slightly overzealous,” Berkley said with a bit of a shrug in reference to his ancestors who David knew had built the estate years prior in order to impress their guests—and impress it did.

  David attempted to capture Sarah’s attention, but it was no use. She was purposefully ignoring him, he knew, and yet he had no idea what he was to do about it.

  *

  Sarah had never before been to Berkley’s estate. In fact, she had never been to any English
estate before. She had been outside of London, sure, but only to Bath and Newmarket. This… it was like she was returning to her forests. As they walked up the drive, she stopped for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath of the sweet smelling air. She could sense David’s attention upon her, but she resisted looking at him, despite the fact that every fiber in her being was urging her to do so.

  Since the day they had made love with one another, she had managed to keep from doing so again. Most often she feigned sleep before he returned to her rooms, and the one night he had caught her awake, she made the excuse of feeling as though she was coming down with an illness.

  He never asked her to do anything again, never pushed her, never attempted a thing. But he was making it clear that he would appreciate some intimacy—not sexual, but rather, emotional, which was much more dangerous, and the very reason she was staying away.

  For it was not that she did not want to make love with him again. Oh no, every part of her body was yearning to do so. It was that she knew if she did, it would only make it that much more difficult when the time came for them to separate.

  “I will escort you to your rooms, Miss Jones,” the housekeeper said, interrupting her reverie. Sarah noted David watched the direction in which they walked quite closely, but finally they were in a place where he would not be required to guard her nightly. In fact, Lady Alexander was due to arrive the next day, along with other guests of the house party. She had agreed that it was fine for Sarah to travel with three married companions, despite the fact that there would be a single man within their party—for what could happen in one night?

  Sarah was certainly not inclined to tell her.

  She thought back to her conversation with her friends within the carriage.

  “You must tell us,” Phoebe had demanded, “What has occurred between you and Mr. Redmond. For clearly, there is something amiss.”

  “Perhaps,” Sarah had said with a nod of her head. She hadn’t planned on telling them the entirety of her current relationship with David, but she also wasn’t about to lie to the three women in front of her.

  “You are aware that Mr. Redmond was left at my door quite injured, and that I treated him and told him a bit of my situation. What I didn’t tell you is that once he was well, Mr. Redmond decided that my safety was an issue. He did not feel that I should be staying alone in my rooms.”

  “He’s quite right regarding the fact that you should never have been alone,” Elizabeth agreed with a nod, but then went silent to allow Sarah time to continue on with her story.

  “So he decided that he would stay with me each night.”

  Three shocked faces had stared back at her, her words quelling them all into silence. In fact, had the carriage not begun to rock slightly back and forth, she was not sure any of them ever would have ever moved again.

  “David Redmond… has been staying with you every night?” Elizabeth asked, obviously attempting to mask her disapproval.

  “He has been altogether a gentleman,” Sarah said, feeling the need to defend him, for, in all actuality, he had been. “In fact, he insisted on making himself a bed on the floor, and has even proven himself useful when I have been treating others who have come to me for help.”

  Julia smiled at the story. Elizabeth continued to look slightly disapproving and Phoebe studied her contemplatively, as though she knew there was more to this.

  “Nothing has ever happened between the two of you?”

  Sarah’s cheeks became so hot she knew they must have turned a bright red. But if she couldn’t tell these women about what had happened between the two of them, who could she speak to?

  “About a week ago,” she began slowly, “We had a moment in which we were so close—as close as two people can be. We… acted upon it. But—” she added quickly before any of them could say anything, “—It was completely my choice. He could not have been more concerned, more understanding, more questioning about whether or not that was what I truly wanted.”

  Phoebe reached across the seat to place a hand on her knee reassuringly.

  “Afterward, did you regret it, or were you happy that all had occurred?”

  Sarah sighed. She wasn’t much for dramatics, but then, if ever a situation called for them, it was this one.

  “Both, in equal measure, I suppose,” she said, raising a hand in the air helplessly. “It honestly seemed as though it was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Had you asked me that night, right afterward, I would have told you that it was the best decision I had ever made in my entire life. Nothing before had ever felt so right, so fitting, as to lie in his arms after coming together. I’m not a fool—I know that I am certainly far from the first woman he has ever been with, and yet it seemed to me to be more than simply a physical joining, but that somehow our hearts, our souls spoke to one another.”

  She paused, deep in thought, until Julia nudged her with a gentle, “But…”

  “But then I woke up the next morning. He was readying himself for the day. I looked over at him and thought, ‘This is not my life. This will never be my life, waking up in the morning with a man such as David Redmond.’ And therefore what I had just not only allowed to occur but had asked for could not have been a worse decision, for all it did was cause my attachment to him to grow even deeper.”

  They were all silent for a moment, contemplating her dilemma, until at last Elizabeth broke the silence, shocking them all with her words.

  “Are you sure it has to be that way—that the two of you might not find a way to be together?”

  At their three incredulous faces, she shrugged.

  “I am capable of having a heart, you know,” Elizabeth said, raising an eyebrow. “And I am well aware that people can change. I would never before have suggested that Sarah and Mr. Redmond pursue a greater acquaintance, however… I could have been wrong.”

  “No,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “His father is an earl. I am illegitimate.”

  “Eddie and I made it work,” Julia said softly.

  “This is different,” Sarah said resolutely. “Besides that, once my quest is over—either through resolution or by my own choosing—I will be returning to America.”

  “Oh, please say that isn’t true,” said Phoebe with a hand on her arm.

  But Sarah shook her head. “I must go back. It’s where I belong.”

  The words now resonated within her mind as she placed her small valise within the extravagant guest room. She had been telling herself for some time that there was nowhere else for her but America. So why did the words no longer feel altogether true?

  Chapter Seventeen

  David was determined to find time alone with Sarah—particularly before Lady Alexander arrived to join them. How he was going to do so, however, he had no idea, for she was always so closely surrounded by the three other women.

  They were all wonderful women, of course, but at the moment he wished they were anywhere but here.

  He knew he was acting like a young lad in the first blushes of love in the way he had to convince himself not to stare at her throughout dinner. Afterward, as he and the other gentlemen shared a cigar and a glass of port as they enjoyed their last night in some solitude before the house party would expand, he had to force himself to concentrate on what the rest of them were speaking of as his thoughts continued to drift back toward Sarah, their night together, and what type of future could await them—if any.

  He sighed as the gentlemen then moved to the drawing room. It was an impressive estate, each room painted in a different, rich color, with inlaid gold tying the various rooms together. Gold picture frames and accents were interspersed everywhere from the furniture to the crown molding.

  And yet he would be just as happy to be back in Sarah’s small lodging, as long as it would mean the two of them could have some time alone. He should have woken her up one night this week to speak further. But every time he was tempted to do so, she always looked so perfect that he couldn’t br
ing himself to wake her from sleep. He attempted to catch her attention throughout her current conversation in order to speak with her, but she refused to look at him, purposefully seeming to avoid him. Which left him alone, unsatisfied, and completely awake later that night.

  After tossing around for what seemed like hours, he decided he could no longer simply lie there staring into the darkness of night. David finally threw back the covers and made his way down the grand staircase, walking on his toes so as not to make a sound and wake the rest of the house. Where he was going, he had no idea, but he felt trapped within his chamber. He was so used to coming and going from his own boarding room whenever he pleased at whatever time of day or night that he was feeling altogether restless at the thought of staying in one place, particularly when the woman he needed to speak with so very badly was sleeping somewhere within this estate.

  The truth was if he knew where exactly she was, he would have no qualms about searching for her and speaking to her within her rooms. But with his luck, he would find himself in the bedroom of another and would spend the rest of the weekend here apologizing.

  Following along the corridor, David looked within one room and then the next of the ground floor, holding his candle out in front of him to determine each room’s contents. When he finally came across the room he was looking for, he smiled in satisfaction, entering the library to search the shelves for something that would put him to sleep.

  It wasn’t the largest library he had ever seen, but the shelves were tall, and when he found his way amongst them, he was pleased to see that some of the titles were of interest—one about Captain Cook’s voyages, and there was Henry Fielding’s Tom Jones, though he had read it before. The key was to find something that was interesting, but not interesting enough to keep him awake throughout the night. He wondered what Berkley would say were he to go through all of the candles provided to his chamber in one night.