This Regret

by Victoria Ashley

  I was already too sad, and most of the time even mad.

  To finally be happy I learned I had to leave, and find true feelings I could actually believe.”

  By the time she finishes, I have tears running down my cheeks. I never knew she felt so deeply about anything and hearing these words make me sad. Someone hurt her and I know it doesn’t feel good. It never does.

  Kellan walks over, grabs the paper from her hand and pulls her in for a hug. He rocks her back and forth and squeezes her tight as if she touched a special place in his heart. “That was better than I could have hoped for. Adric would’ve been so proud of you.” He pulls away and looks her in the eye. “Don’t ever let anyone bring you down and don’t ever stop believing you can do anything you want. You have to be stronger than . . .”

  His words trail off and he quickly replaces his emotions with a smile. “Let me take a look at this.” He shakes the paper in the air. “I need to be sure you spelled everything right before you think you’re sending me off to do something crazy.” He quickly scans the paper and then looks over at me sporting a proud grin. “Alright, tail. You messed up one word, but I’ll let that slip this time. Next time I’m here I want you to fix that word and present me with a new poem. If we have a deal, tell me what it’ll be.”

  She taps her finger against her chin and jumps up onto the table. She looks proud and that makes my heart swell. This could really help her. “How do you feel about nipples?” She grins deviously.

  The timer goes off on the oven so I reach behind Kellan in an attempt to take the pizza out, but Kellan shakes his head and reaches for the oven mitt. “I’ve got it.” He opens the oven and slides the pizza out, setting it on top of the stove. Then he smiles. “I love them, why?”

  I have a feeling where this is going and for some reason, the thought turns me on. Man his body does things to me.

  “Well . . . you’re about to get yours pierced. Both of them.” She rubs her hands together and looks at his chest, then lowers her eyes and nods her head. “I was going to go for something else, you know for my sister’s pleasure and all, but-”

  “Zoe!” I scream, embarrassed as crap. Wait . . . What? “That’s enough. Since when did your mind get so dirty?”

  She gives me a disgusted look as if I’ve offended her and stretches her legs. “I’m practically fifteen. Isn’t that about how old you were when you first had the hots for this guy?” She tilts her head toward Kellan and points with her thumb. “I was going to do you a favor. Good thing I didn’t, prude.” She shoots daggers at me and then looks at Kellan. “What do you think big guy? Do your nipples already hurt? The way Phoenix has been acting, I think hers do.” She scrunches her forehead and rolls her big eyes at me.

  “You little shit.” I try to sound mad, but I can’t help but to laugh. “Man, I miss you being a quiet ten year old. Can we go back to those days? I would seriously do anything.”

  Kellan looks at me from the corner of his eye and bites his bottom lip, before facing Zoe again. “I knew you girls talked about me. Anything else I should know about your sister besides her nipples hurting?”

  These two are killing me. What the hell! “Okay, that’s enough. Can we just eat this pizza? I want to come to your shop today and get a tattoo.” I look to Zoe before reaching into the cabinet for some plates. “I’ll be sure he gets those nips pierced and if he says anything else about my nipples, I’ll be sure he gets something else pierced as well.”

  He slices the pizza and washes the slicer. “I would. As long as you’d be the one to kiss it better afterwards.”

  As soon as the words leave his mouth, I feel my sex clenching. Bad timing. Very bad timing. “Hey! Do you mind?” I point at Zoe. “My little sister doesn’t need to be hearing that kind of talk.”

  Zoe jumps from the table and pushes me out of the way to grab a slice of pizza. “Your little sister is big enough to hear that kind of talk. Trust me, I hear a lot worse from my friends at school.”

  “Are you serious? You kids are starting early these days. I worry about you,” I mumble before taking a bite of pizza. Holy hell this is delicious.

  “Well don’t,” Zoe scoffs. “I can take care of myself. She shoves the pizza into her mouth and mumbles, “I want to see those nipples next time you’re here.”

  “Alright, tail.” Kellan nods his head and salutes her. “Oh and don’t think you’re stopping there. I want more poems. I don’t care how many times I have to mutilate my body to get them either. I’ll even pierce between my toes.”

  Zoe stops and pulls the pizza from her mouth. “Seriously?”

  Kellan shrugs. “I guess you’ll have to see.”

  This seems to satisfy Zoe because she walks out with the biggest smile I’ve seen from her in a long damn time. Seeing her that way makes me happy.

  I turn to kellan. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

  He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Sure I did.” He reaches for his backpack and throws it over his shoulder. “I have to get cleaned up to get to the shop. I’ll see you there in a bit?” He grins, already knowing the answer. “We both have some work to get done today.”

  I smile and nod my head. “Sure thing,” I say nervously. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

  * * *

  I arrive at the shop and decide to park in the back this time, next to Kellan’s motorcycle. On the left side of his bike, Tyler’s bike is also parked. I haven’t really talked much with Jen lately, but something tells me she’s been busy with this guy. Every time I call, she’s giggling and acting like a damn school girl. Then she tells me she has to go. I know for a fact, Nate doesn’t have that effect on her. It has to be Tyler. Which makes me happy because she deserves someone that will treat her and Jax properly and if Kellan trusts him enough to get him involved, then he must be a good guy.

  I step out of my car and close the door. When I look up, there’s a guy staring at me from the parking lot next door. He looks as if he’s been roughed up a bit and put through the meat grinder. His face is full of scars and bruises and his hair is very thin and straggly. He’s tall. Taller than normal and that only makes him appear creepier. He just stares with no shame even though, clearly, I’ve caught him looking. His intense stare makes me feel sick to my stomach. What’s his deal?

  Shaking off the creepiness, I pull my eyes away from him and make my way around the building, quickly. As soon as I reach the door, I feel my confidence torn away as if someone just ripped off the bandage. Damn, I’m going to need that back. I can’t go in there now.

  Breathing heavily, I lean against the building trying to catch my breath. Somehow knowing Kellan is the one giving me the tattoo works me up more than my first attempt at coming here. It excites me, yet scares the crap out of me knowing there will always be a part of him with me. If he leaves, then I’ll be sure to never forget him now.

  I glance over when the door opens beside me and a teenage boy full of tattoos and piercings walks out. He stops when he notices me and gently grabs my shoulder with a sly smile. “Hey, girl. Are you okay?”

  I look at the kid from the corner of my eye and exhale slowly before forcing a smile. I don’t feel okay. I think I need to go to the range again. My nerves have been too wound up lately. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little nervous, that’s all.” That’s partially the truth, anyways.

  He lets go of my shoulder and leans against the wall beside me. “That’s understandable.” He leans in and whispers, “Don’t tell anyone . . . but the needle still kind of freaks me out.”

  This kid has the most tattoos I have ever seen in my life. I nudge his arm next to mine and laugh. Leaning in, I whisper, “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

  Somehow, I have managed to lose the nerves and now I can’t stop laughing. We both laugh and then before I know it, his arm is draped around my shoulder.

  I get ready to question his pimp skills, but the door swings open, causing both of us to look up. Kellan steps out and slaps the kid u
pside the head. “Get out of here, Trevor. This woman is too much for you to handle.”

  Trevor laughs and straightens up, but he’s nowhere as tall as Kellan is. “I doubt that. Have you seen me handle a woman? You don’t even know the skills I possess.”

  I’m laughing so hard right now I can’t even breathe. Who is this kid? Now that I think about it, he has Tyler’s deep brown eyes and dark hair. Maybe even his nose.

  “Is this Tyler’s little brother,” I question, still laughing at his so called skills.

  Trevor smiles and lifts an eyebrow. “That’s right. Tyler gets his good looks from me.” He leans in close and winks at me. “And there’s nothing little about me,” he whispers.

  Kellan scowls and grabs the back of Trevor’s neck. “Okay, I’ve heard enough.” He gives him a little shove and kicks him on the butt to get him going. “I think your mom’s looking for you kid.”

  Trevor puckers his lips and raises his head to me. “Okay, beautiful. Just remember what you could be missing out on. If you change your mind, you know how to find me.” He spins around on his feet and heads for a beat up Pontiac Grand Prix, jumping inside.

  Well, that was exciting. At least the kid helped to ease my nerves. Seeing that creepy guy and getting a tattoo in the same day was almost too much for me to handle. Now, I can’t stop smiling.

  Kellan leans in close and looks at my lips as I stand there still smiling. “You like that, huh? The kid is eighteen if you’re interested.” He grins before pinning me up against the wall, his body pressed against mine. He brushes his lip across my ear and breathes, “I can promise you he can’t handle you like I can. These hands . . .” He grips my waist and rubs his hands up my side, squeezing. “Are talented as shit. Almost as talented as my tongue.”

  Okay, I agree. So good, I think I just soaked my panties. I lean my head back on the brick as he runs his tongue from my lobe down my neck before skimming it with his barbell. The cold, wet metal leaves with me a sensation tingling all over my body. “What the fuck, Kellan. You need to stop doing this to me. I want you to take me right here on this wall,” I breathe in total ecstasy, lost in my own world for him.

  He laughs against my neck and grabs my arms pinning them behind my head. “That’s the problem. I can’t fucking stop. I am very tempted to lift that skirt of yours and slip inside of you right out here in the open. The thought drives me mad. Do you know how hard it is not to penetrate you right now with my throbbing cock?” He lifts me up and grabs my legs wrapping them around his waist as he glides his hands up my skirt and presses his hip into me. His hands squeeze my bare thighs. I love his filthy mouth and right now I want it on me in all my most private places.

  A surge of excitement courses through me and right now, I could care less if he takes me right out in the open. I just want him any way I can have him.

  The door opens . . . again.

  Stop this torture! What is up with that door? Does everyone have to keep popping out of it?

  Tyler joins us outside with a ham sandwich in his hand. He smiles and leans against the opened door while holding his lunch to his mouth. “Dang, man. Don’t stop. I like the look of this.”

  Kellan grunts and gently sets me down beside him and pulls my skirt down to cover my thighs. “I’m locking you inside next time.”

  Shoving the last bite into his mouth, Tyler grins at Kellan and nods my direction. “I was serious when I said don’t stop, bro. Don’t let a little thing like me watching you kill the mood.”

  The boys look at each other and for a moment, I almost think Kellan’s going to snap, but instead he laughs and pats Tyler on the back. “Nah, man. I can’t let you watch. I wouldn’t want to kill your ego.” He places his hand on the door and motions for us to go inside. “Well, let’s get this nipple show on the road. You ready, Tyler?”

  “Yeah, man. I’m always ready. Nipple piercing is my game and I play it well. It's a legal way to inflict pain mixed with pleasure and I love to watch; although, I would prefer my prey to be female.”

  I bet you do. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s gotten his hands on Jen’s by now.

  Once we’re inside, Kellan takes off his shirt, looks at me and tosses it to the ground as if he just knows him being shirtless is going to get me wet. He’s absolutely right. His jeans hang low on his waistline, exposing the defined muscles that lead down underneath. They’re so hard, I just want to run my tongue across them, tease them and taste them. Mmm . . . this man is too yummy for his own good.

  “So you’re seriously going through with this? You’re going to sport those pierced nips? Once I start you can't back out.”

  “Damn right I am, man.” Kellan places his hand on my chin. “You might want to watch this. Zoe might get a kick out of the details. Like I told her, I keep my word.”

  My eyes trail down his body, over his flawless abs and I have to try my best not to ravish him right here and now. “Like you said before. I did like your nipples. Now I will love them. I might even let you do mine,” I tease. I smile sweetly, trying my best to look innocent. “I’d be glad to kiss anything you get pierced.” My eyes land on the crotch of his fitted jeans and scope out his obvious bulge.

  A low growl sounds in Kellan’s throat as he looks down at me and smiles. “If that’s the case then I may just have to get more than just my nipples pierced and don't think I won't take you up on that offer. We will come back to this conversation later.”

  I love the sound of that. I can’t deny that tattoos and piercings have always turned me on. I mean, who the hell doesn’t love a man with body art?

  “You guys have it bad for each other. It’s plain as damn day, man,” Tyler says while pulling on a pair of black latex gloves as he is looking down at the piercing equipment. “I can seriously feel how bad you two want each other and it’s giving me a damn stiffy. That makes everything in the sack that much better. You better handle that shit.” He peaks up at us.

  Kellan and I both look at each other, neither of us giving him any kind of reaction to his comment. Then finally, Kellan plops down in the chair and throws his arms behind his head, interlocking his fingers.

  “Let’s just do this shit. My nipples are bleeding just waiting on your ass.” He looks up at Tyler before closing his eyes and smiling.

  I step up closer to the chair so I’m standing right behind it now, looking over the back of it and down at Kellan. He looks so calm, laying there relaxing with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. I wish he could stay like that for a while, so I can take him all in and never forget this moment. He’s so beautiful to me it hurts. I seriously feel an aching in my heart right now just looking at him.

  Kellan’s eyelids flutter open and he stares up at me with a half smirk. “Are you going to be ready for that tattoo next? I still remember the one you picked out.”

  My eyes shift over to Tyler as he grabs some kind of clamp and places it to Kellan’s right nipple. I look back at Kellan’s face, but he doesn’t even seem to notice his nipple being squeezed, because he’s still staring directly at me as if nothing’s happening. “I’m about as ready as I’ll ever be.” I laugh as Tyler coats up the needle with some clear crap and holds it to Kellan’s nipple.

  “Are you ready for bleeding nipples?”

  He looks down to my lips and answers Tyler’s question. “Only if you’re ready to kiss them.”

  Tyler pushes the needle through and Kellan doesn’t even flinch. Ouch! That looked like it hurt.

  Kellan just watches me watching him with a cocky smirk that I’d like to lick. He’s not the only one that likes to use his tongue.

  Tyler laughs as if he’s getting a kick out of this whole nipple thing. “This looks pretty sweet actually. Maybe I’ll do mine sometime. But I’ll do my own. I don’t want you fondling my nips like I’m doing yours.” He smiles and then gets to work on the left one.

  Speaking of fondling nipples, I wouldn’t mind if Kellan was doing that to me right now. Maybe I should go all out and g
et mine pierced for real. I was just joking at first, but it looks hot. It would be worth it to have him do it.

  Standing up, Kellan tilts his head down and looks at his nipples while reaching out to touch one. I have to admit, he just got even hotter and I didn’t even think that was a possibility. “I guess I’m cool enough to sport these for a while.” He turns to stand in front of me and I can’t help but to notice his chest muscles bounce a bit. “What do you think, Phoenix? Does this do anything for my image?”

  I feel my heartbeat quicken as my eyes take in the sight of his sculpted chest, his pierced nipples and the tribal tattoo that runs up his side. Is he shitting me? Of course this does something for his image. It makes him look like a damn sex god.

  Swallowing hard, I look up to meet his eyes and they bore into mine, silently telling me he wants to take me as bad as I want him to. “I guess you can manage to pull it off,” I tease. “I’m sure Zoe will be so proud of you.”

  Without pulling his eyes away from mine, Kellan shoots out orders to Tyler. “Go check on Jen.”

  “She’s good, man.” He holds up his phone as he types out a message. “I’m talking to her now.”

  Kellan grunts and takes a deep breath. “Do you have any appointments anytime soon?”

  “Not ‘til around five,” he replies.

  “Alright then,” Kellan responds. “I’ll see you then.”

  Tyler finally gets the hint and stands up grabbing his keys. “I’ll see you then, bro.” He winks at me. “Take it easy on his nips.” Then out the door, he goes.

  Kellan walks over, locks the door and turns the open sign off. Then he walks over to the glass display and reaches behind it for that special binder that had all those glorious drawings. At least, that’s what I assume it is.

  I clear my throat and take a seat in the chair by his station as he stares down at the binder in his hand. “Just do me a favor,” I say.

  He looks up from the binder and smiles. “What’s that?”