Remember Love

by Jessica Nelson

  He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Eight o’clock."

  "Oh, dear." She patted the gray curls on her head. "Ms. Douglas will be here soon. She’ll harp on my lawn, I just know it." From the sound of things, Ms. Douglas must be a fearsome taskmaster. The companion, he figured, who probably helped Ms. Lincoln with baking, errands and other things. But not lawn mowing.

  "I need to go anyhow. A flight to catch." He stood. He’d make a call and get Ms. Lincoln’s lawn taken care of. It was the least he could do to repay her many kindnesses in his youth.

  "Thank you for coming by, Alec." Ms. Lincoln rose, rounding the table to ensnare him in a hug. "You come back. And keep wearing that cologne."

  Maybe he should smile, but she wouldn’t see and his hurt had morphed into a heaviness that sagged his shoulders. He patted her back instead, then drew away. His gaze rested on the pumpkin on her counter. Set there for baking most likely, but it had a nostalgic effect on him. Autumn in Manatee Bay.

  "Does the town still have its Fall Festival?" he asked.

  Ms. Lincoln’s face brightened. "Oh yes, and bring Katrina. She hasn’t attended since Joey passed. It will do her good."

  Alec made a polite sound then let her usher him out the door. Bringing the woman who’d kept his child from him was the last thing he should do. He crossed the street to his car and slid in, his mind on the Fall Festival. He could still see Katrina, seventeen, her face shining with the carefree happiness of youth. She’d traipsed beside him the year before he proposed, holding a candied apple to his mouth then laughingly pulling it away before he could bite it. She’d loved the Fall Festival. Went every year.

  But she hadn’t gone for three years.

  His hands rested on the steering wheel, his fingers tapped the leather. Firm plans had accompanied him on this trip to Manatee Bay, but seeing Katrina had changed things, just not how he’d expected. He tore his hands from the wheel and slammed the door shut. He gunned the engine. Finding out about Joey complicated things, ripped him in different directions.

  No plan was certain now.

  *****

  "But I’ll be back."

  Alec’s words lingered in Katrina’s thoughts throughout the week. Traffic at the store crawled along, consistently reminding her that she could use advice for the business aspects of it.

  On Sunday she trudged up the stone steps of the small church she attended. Alec’s sports car sitting in the parking lot reminded her of the one thing she’d tried to forget. The cemetery visit. Going with him wasn’t something she looked forward to but she’d do it because she owed him.

  She stepped into the church, inhaling the tangy scent of lemon polish on ancient wood floors. The worn scarlet-clad pews where parishioners had sat for decades to worship God together were slowly filling with people. Pale light filtered in through stained glass windows, diluting the Florida sun to a golden mist. The church was a place of peace, one she’d literally stumbled into shortly after Joey’s birth. It held an atmosphere of splendor and serenity, of quiet wisdom and modern worship. She loved this place.

  Katrina glanced at the clock on the wall. Five more minutes until the start of service. She shifted in the narrow entryway so Widow Carmichael could squeeze through. Her sulky, multi-pierced granddaughter followed, and refused to return Katrina’s tentative smile.

  Clutching her leather-bound Bible, she trailed the pair and then passed them to sit in a pew towards the front. She leaned back, adjusted the hem of the new sundress she’d found on clearance at Wal-Mart, and looked around. She hadn’t sat in this spot for a while.

  "There you are." Rachel huffed past Katrina and plopped down next to her. "Always switching rows. Why can’t you find a place and stay there?"

  "I like to change it up. The same spot gets boring."

  "I’m glad you’re so into change. Starting Wednesday, you’re on the nursery schedule."

  The muscles in her face froze. She stared at Rachel. Was she crazy? "Take me off."

  "You need to heal."

  "Not like that."

  Rachel cocked her head, gaze soft. "You love children. Just try. One Wednesday. They’re short-staffed and Joe approved you to help."

  Stuffed in a corner. That’s how she felt. A tremor worked its way down her spine, evoking ripples of nausea in her belly. Hands pressing against her stomach, she let out a shaky breath. "One Wednesday."

  "Good." Rachel smiled a self-satisfied smile. Mission accomplished.

  Katrina pressed her knees together. Things would be okay. Just kids. She could handle them.

  As if sensing her fear, Rachel laid her hand on Katrina’s leg. "You’re great with Sharon’s kids. It’s no different."

  Of course. Her gaze lifted to Rachel’s. "I’m being silly."

  "No, you’re scared."

  "As usual."

  "Oh, stop it." Rachel grinned, then wrinkled her nose and glanced around the filling church. "Where’s Sharon?"

  Katrina pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Sharon refused to come today. I don’t know where she’s going to go but she can’t stay at my house anymore."

  "Why not? You have plenty of room."

  "Yeah, and guess who knows it? Tuesday night he was banging on the door in a rage. I had to call the police. I’m afraid he’ll hurt Sharon and the kids once he knows for sure where they are."

  Rachel’s jaw dropped a mile. "Why didn’t you call me?"

  "I thought you went to the Keys for a case."

  "You could’ve called me."

  "I knew I’d see you today."

  "Keeping secrets."

  "Letting you work," Katrina countered.

  "Whatever." Rachel shook her head, red curls whipping across her ivory skin in fiery lashes. "I can’t believe that man. It’d be nice to blame his temper on alcohol, but he’s just plain mean."

  "I don’t know. Sharon seems to think his drinking is making him worse."

  Steve had started drinking heavily in the last few months. At least Sharon had been brave enough to leave him once things escalated.

  But where could she go and be safe?

  Katrina twisted around to watch the sanctuary entrance. As she pondered Sharon’s future, a new problem walked into her line of vision. He looked as savvy as he had in her home the other morning, his pinstripe suit molding cleanly to his body. Every inch the business man, less roguish than she’d ever seen him. To her horror, he turned his head and caught her gaping gaze. His mouth tightened and he strode towards her pew.

  "Oh no." She patted her hair, wondering if she’d remembered to put on lipstick. Which was ridiculous because she had no romantic interest in Alec Munroe. None whatsoever.

  Besides, the odds of him ever wanting her again had to be astronomical.

  "What’s wrong?" Rachel swiveled next to her. She caught the direction of Katrina’s gaze. "What’s he doing here?"

  Katrina shrugged and turned to face the front of the church.

  "Ladies." Alec slid in beside her, the pew creaking beneath his weight.

  Rachel scowled and Katrina suppressed a surprising urge to smile. Rachel acted like a mother bear sometimes, one who couldn’t see further than Alec’s wild teens.

  Piano keys started a soft rhythm, pulling Katrina’s focus to the singers assembling on the altar. Despite the musical warm-ups, she wasn’t distracted from Alec’s body next to her. The scent of his cologne, the heat of his arm a hairsbreadth away, dredged up memories.

  "Good morning," she whispered, then felt a hot blush suffuse her face. What a silly greeting, considering the pain between them.

  "Morning, Katrina." His elbow nudged her as he set a Bible between them. A twinge barbed through her chest. This was too hard, being close to him. Hearing his steady breaths, feeling his warmth so near, knowing they could never recapture what they’d once had.

  Because of her.

  She glanced down at his Bible. "Is that yours?"

  "Yep." His eyes crinkled, as if he knew she was remembering the
wild heathen he’d been.

  She straightened and looked away. When everyone stood for the worship song she sighed with relief. At least any kind of conversation could be postponed until after the service.

  *****

  Alec had difficulty concentrating during the service, although periodically he caught the words forgive and bitterness laced throughout Joseph O’Reilly’s message. The former schoolmate had apparently stopped partying and started praying. It had given Alec a jolt seeing Joe preaching on the altar.

  But now his mind and senses were deluged by the woman sitting next to him. This was how it should’ve been for the last ten years. Her by his side, her curls brushing his shoulders, her gentle eyes soothing the rough places of his soul.

  His jaw clenched. He’d forgotten the sight of her, the fragrance of her hair. He should’ve forced an explanation from her on their wedding day. Instead, like a fool, he’d followed her to vent his wounded pride, his rage, and then he’d peeled out of the parking lot on his motorcycle. Months later, when he’d felt like he’d punished her long enough by ignoring her phone calls and e-mails, he’d almost contacted her, but then his uncle had offered him a job with amazing benefits. The opportunity to earn wealth beckoned, and Alec made his choice.

  He’d refused to look back.

  All of yesterday he watched home movies, read the notes, studied the colorful pictures, trying to understand how he hadn’t felt his son’s existence. To understand why the God he’d just begun to trust would allow his son to die.

  Joey changed everything. After ten years, he hadn’t expected the connection he still felt with Kitty. He glanced at her soft profile. Despite the cutting sting of her betrayal, some long-neglected part of him wanted the sweetheart of his youth back.

  With a start, Alec realized the pastor was closing the sermon with prayer. He bowed his head and closed his eyes.

  "Lord, we thank you for those here today. Let their lives be changed by your love and, as they leave, I ask that you would teach them to forgive and to love their enemies. May you keep bitterness far from their hearts. We praise you and thank you for all of your blessings. In Jesus’ name, amen." Pastor Joe concluded and then the sanctuary buzzed with conversation as people filed out. Alec stepped quickly out of the pew.

  Katrina and Rachel slipped by him and he followed them to the doors. Rachel hugged Katrina before shooting him a venomous glance and running out into the rain-soaked parking lot.

  "Alec Munroe." The pastor greeted him at the door.

  "Party Joe." Alec shook his hand, unable to stop the grin forming on his lips.

  "Not anymore." Joe shook his blonde head. "Gave that up right about after you left. Are you staying around for a bit?"

  Alec’s gaze shifted to Katrina, who stood deep in conversation with an older woman. He turned back to his former classmate. "I’m hoping to."

  Joe nodded toward Katrina. "She’s been through a lot since you left."

  "I’ve heard."

  "She’s fragile."

  "I’ll see you later, Joe."

  Joe got the hint and smiled. "I hope to see you in here again."

  Alec just nodded and walked over to Katrina. She might have gentle eyes and Christian virtues, but he wouldn’t put it past her to conveniently forget they were going to the graveyard today.

  She turned into him as he walked up. He caught her shoulders, the subdued fabric of her dress silk beneath his fingers. She shrugged away from him, expression sober.

  His hands dropped to his sides. "Are you ready to go to the graveyard?"

  Her eyes widened, her mouth formed a pretty pink O.

  "Did you forget?"

  "I guess we can go in the rain." Her tone was reluctant.

  "That’s what umbrellas are for." His jaw clenched at her tone. She’d take him or he’d go himself. Either way, he’d go. It just seemed easier for her to show him where the grave was, instead of him stumbling around headstones searching for his missing son.

  Alone.

  "My umbrella is at home." She sent a worried glance outside. The light drizzle was getting heavier as they spoke, pounding against the roof and drowning out the sound of chattering parishioners.

  "Let’s go then." He held her gaze. "I’ll meet you at your house."

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  "I’m going to the graveyard." Katrina looked up at Sharon from the floor of the hall closet. "Has Steve been back?"

  "No." Sharon pursed her lips. "He usually works Sunday mornings."

  Katrina paused in her rummaging. "He attacked you with a knife. I’m sure the police must’ve picked him up by now. We need to get you somewhere safe." She squinted into the corners of the closet. "Where’s my umbrella?"

  "You keep it in the garage."

  "I do? How do you know?"

  "You had me write down where you moved it, remember?"

  "Uh, not really." Katrina frowned at the closet floor. Was she really that forgetful? Disorganized?

  The door leading to the garage slammed open, rattling a few cans on the closet shelves, and Katrina jumped.

  "Let’s go."

  She looked up from her position to see Alec towering over her. Her breath caught. He’d exchanged his suit coat for a leather jacket. Rainwater plastered his hair to his face. His lips were drawn in a tight frown. Was he nervous too? Or just angry?

  She cleared her throat and stood, brushing the wrinkles from the front of her dress. "I have to find the umbrella."

  "Hi, Sharon." Alec’s frown shifted into a small smile as he glanced to where Sharon stood near the sink. "Those your kids in the front yard?"

  "All three of them." Her lips curved in that hesitant way she had of smiling.

  Alec stepped forward. "Who gave you the shiner?"

  Sharon flinched. Before she could utter a lie, Katrina snatched her keys off the counter. "Steve did it. Are you ready to go?"

  But Alec didn’t even look at her. "Steve being your boyfriend?"

  "Let’s go," Katrina said. Why couldn’t he leave the situation alone? If he was anything like the boy she’d known, he’d bulldog Sharon into an admission.

  "Steve’s my husband." Sharon cowered, looking so ashamed that Katrina had to fight the impulse to grab Alec by the scruff of the neck and drag him out of the kitchen.

  They didn’t need him to get involved with this. And he would. Injustice, abuse, those things had inflamed him in the past. But what if someone got hurt? What if he bailed when things got tough?

  No, they didn’t need Mr. Motorcycle-riding Businessman to take over.

  "Alec, let’s go." She grimaced at Sharon, facially apologizing.

  Alec ignored her. "Are you planning on leaving him?"

  Sharon shot Katrina a wide-eyed glance, as if unsure of the answer. It made Katrina want to scream with frustration. Instead, she went around Alec and pulled Sharon to her in a gentle hug.

  "We’re working on it." They’d talked about it yesterday evening. Though Steve hadn’t returned since Tuesday night, Katrina had no doubt he’d be back once he made bail. Assuming the police had picked him up. They hadn’t called. She frowned as the realization hit her.

  Steve could still be out there somewhere. The only way she could think of to protect Sharon was to get her out of town for a bit. But that held complications because of the kids.

  Alec’s expression darkened just as a rumble of thunder shook the house. Before he could speak, Sharon’s kids tumbled in from outside, t-shirts soaked and mud hanging from the legs of their jeans.

  "Aunt Kitty! We saw a lightning bolt shoot right out of the sky, right into a big tree on the road. It was huge, gigantic!" Paul’s four-year old face beamed and Katrina pulled him into a hug, mindless of the wetness seeping into her dress.

  "Sounds exciting." She smiled down at him, loving the way his face burrowed against her leg. "Why don’t y’all clean up in the bathroom real quick and then I’ll make you some hot chocolate."

  "Sorry Katrina." Sharon ushered the kids down t
he hall. "C’mon guys."

  Katrina looked through the door that opened to the garage and watched the rain pelt the grass. She closed the door. "I guess we’ll have to go later." She tried to hide the relief because she didn’t want to hurt Alec, but going to see Joey’s gravesite with him was too painful.

  Alec eyed her from where he stood between the kitchen and the living room. His toes rested on linoleum, his heels on carpet. "You couldn’t share him in life and now you’re hoarding him in death."

  Shocked, she felt rooted to the floor, a sapling beneath a hurricane.

  Was it true?

  No. She couldn’t be that kind of person.

  A harsh noise erupted from him and he spun around, his lean back stiff as he stalked into the living room.

  At first she couldn’t follow. She hadn’t meant for things to turn out this way. Hadn’t meant to keep Joey to herself. But she had. This was her garden, the fruit she’d planted, the weeds she’d watered. She pressed her fingers against her eyes to ease the pressure building behind them.

  Too much. Oh God, why? To blame Him for her decisions would be so simple. So wrong. Sucking in a sob, she pushed her emotions deep and took a moment to compose her features. When she thought she could handle facing Alec, she went into the living room.

  He was examining the pictures on her walls again, pausing every now and then to study a family photo. At her entrance he lowered himself to the couch. He’d grown since high school. Now he took up an entire cushion of a two-cushion couch, legs spread, elbows on his knees, eyes dark. His hair curled a tad around his ears as it air-dried.

  He looked every inch the rebellious heartbreaker he’d been in high school, down to his scowl and leather jacket.

  She settled in the recliner, fingers fiddling with her church dress. "Since we’re not—"

  Her throat dried at the way his gaze narrowed on her face, hot, scornful. Trying to swallow, she took a steadying breath. Better to stay off the subject of the graveyard. "Is there something you wanted to discuss?"

  "I’ve been thinking about Kat’s Korner."

  "I’m not selling."

  His brow arched. "No kidding. I wouldn’t buy a store in the shape yours is in anyway."