Remember Love

by Jessica Nelson

  "They’re going. No one sits in them and drinks your coffee. The café aspect of Kat’s Korner doesn’t work."

  A memory flashed through her, Joey asleep on a couch, his chubby cheeks curved in childlike bliss. She clamped her teeth together. "The couches are staying. So is the coffee."

  "Katrina, you don’t even drink coffee, let alone know how to make it."

  "I have an espresso machine." Her chin jutted out.

  "Which no one knows how to use." He must have seen her surprise because he smirked. "Sharon told me how the store is run and some ideas she had for improvement."

  "Why didn’t she tell me?"

  "You’ve had a hard time. She knew how important constancy was to you. She said she mentioned a few things but you promptly forgot about them."

  "Oh." What more was there to say? Joey was gone. Things had to change. Besides, Alec was right. Her relaxed way of running things didn’t work and it was time someone called her on it. She just wished the one pointing out her lack of business skills didn’t have to be Alec. He had the Hawk gleam in his eye again, making plans no doubt for the revision of her life. She peered up at him from behind her glasses and hoped she didn’t look as owlish as she suddenly felt.

  His cheeks moved when he smiled, and little crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes, crinkles he hadn’t had at eighteen. Katrina sighed. So much time passed, so much lost. All her fault.

  "I’ll see you tomorrow, then?" she asked.

  "Bright and early."

  "Do you think Sharon will be all right?" Katrina opened her car door and slid in.

  "She’s fine. Custody is already being filed."

  "She won’t be in trouble for leaving the state with the kids, will she?"

  "We handled it. Go home and get some sleep, little owl."

  She scowled up at him. "That’s worse than Kitty."

  "If you didn’t insist on wearing those glasses, I wouldn’t be tempted to use your old nickname." He leaned closer to look at her beneath the moonlight and his eyes gleamed. "Those aren’t the same ones from high school, are they?"

  "No," she snapped, and pulled her door closed.

  At home, Katrina opened her Bible and tried to study the second lesson in the little devotional she’d bought last Christmas but had used only once. Concentration eluded her. Finally she closed the devotional and the Bible with a thud. Would Alec forgive her? She couldn’t forgive herself. Now here he was, the man she used to love, the father of her only child, back in town and doing his best to disrupt her life.

  She threw on cotton pajamas and walked slowly to Joey’s room. At one point she’d considered selling Kat’s Korner and running from the town that knew her every sorrow. Escape had seemed like such a good idea but now she knew how foolish it was to think she could ever leave the pain behind. Fourteen hours of labor, fifty-five minutes of pushing, and then the most amazing gift in her arms, forever altering her life. Something like that couldn’t be forgotten merely by a switch of physical location. Perhaps God, in his wisdom, had sent Alec home for a reason.

  But what, Lord? Not expecting an answer, not waiting for one, she stepped into the room and sat on Joey’s old twin bed. Three years had turned the space into a small guest room. His toys no longer littered the carpet. Airplanes, Legos, and balls had been given away. Her hand smoothed the floral comforter. Sheets had been changed to a neutral beige. And yet, sometimes she thought she could smell him. Sometimes she thought she could feel his small hand in hers, hear him asking for one more song before bed.

  When the familiar sorrow came, she didn’t fight it. God had seen fit to give her Joey, and he’d seen fit to let Joey be taken away.

  Blessed be the name of the Lord, she thought. And didn’t try to stop her tears.

  *****

  "He’s doing what?"

  "I told you," Katrina swallowed the rest of her breadstick before finishing the sentence. "He’s changing everything. There’s no more couches. I don’t recognize my accounts. He actually put all of the book-keeping on the computer and tried to explain it to me. I was completely lost."

  The aroma of baking bread swirled around Katrina. She sniffed appreciatively. Even though she’d had pizza with Alec last night, she didn’t mind a quick lunch with Rachel today. Fridays were slow anyhow, giving her and Alec more free time to make changes in the store.

  "You did all this in one day?"

  "Well, not all of it, but he’s just as hard a worker as he was in high school."

  "He had that summer job, right? Working at that orange grove?"

  "Widow Carmichael’s daughter and her husband owned it." Remembrance rushed through Katrina, the scent of Alec’s hard work, a mingling of earth and sweat and citrus tang. The gleam of tanned skin as his body hardened beneath the strain of labor.

  "Kat’s Korner must look pretty nice." Rachel swigged some of her Coca-Cola.

  Katrina banished the memory. "My walls are white now."

  "He moved the shelving to paint your walls?"

  "This morning, yeah."

  "So tell him to stop."

  "I don’t want to." At Rachel’s lifted eyebrow, Katrina shrugged. "I kind of like the changes."

  "Don’t let him run all over you."

  "Please, I’m not an infatuated seventeen year-old anymore. Everything he’s done has changed the shop for the better." A waiter appeared and refilled her water. "Did you find any more information on him?"

  "Nope." Rachel dipped her slice of pizza into a bowl of spicy sauce. "I still don’t know why he’s back with this sudden interest in you. If I wasn’t working another case right now, I’d head up to his office in New York and poke around."

  The idea didn’t seem so smart now. Or necessary. She shifted in her seat. "I think he’s fine. He’s a Christian, you know."

  "Doesn’t make him perfect."

  She smiled at Rachel’s surly tone. Rachel would find fault in every man until she chose to forgive. Sometimes Katrina wanted to warn her friend about that attitude, but too often she agreed with Rachel’s cynical observations.

  Katrina finished her pizza and leaned back with a contented sigh. Now that Joey and her mother’s anniversary had passed, she was ready to look forward to the future. Alec was at the office, punching in numbers and doing inventory. Maybe she should bring him some pizza. He’d looked so cute this morning, dressed in baggy jeans and armed with determination.

  Rachel’s lips puckered. "You’ve gotta stop doing that." She dropped some cash on the bill tray.

  "Am I sucking my cheeks in again?" Katrina touched her face.

  "No, you’re smiling like a love-blinded teenager. It’s disgusting."

  "I’m just excited to have professional help with the bookstore."

  "Right."

  "Okay." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I guess I still have soft feelings for him. Not love. Just feelings. Don‘t you think God may have brought him here for a reason?" Proof God hadn’t abandoned her after all, that maybe he cared at least a little.

  A smirk twisted Rachel's mouth. "So you can get married and live happily ever after?"Five years ago her fiancé cheated on her and she’d never gotten over it.

  Katrina stood and grabbed her purse. She found a ten in her wallet and set it next to Rachel’s money. "I know you don’t like him but try to be objective. Leaving him at the altar was probably the biggest mistake of my life."

  "Not the biggest," Rachel said, voice soft.

  Katrina cringed at the reference to Joey.

  "Now’s the time for honesty. Learn from your past."

  "I’m trying." Even as she said it though, she knew she wasn’t being completely truthful.

  "Ditching him was a good thing. Seventeen is too young to marry." Rachel led Katrina out of the restaurant. "Besides, how were you supposed to know he would go out and become some rich guy who travels all over?"

  "Exactly." Katrina caught up to Rachel. "Part of the problem was the fear of being stuck here forever, a marr
ied old fart. And yet here I am."

  "That wasn’t your only fear." Rachel stopped and faced her, brow arched. "I just think you should be careful. He has a strong taste for revenge. Mr. Carmichael is a case in point." Rachel lifted her hair from her neck and fanned herself. "I’ve gotta get back to the office before I melt. Are you coming to the Fall Festival tomorrow?"

  "No." She wasn’t that ready to move on.

  "Think about it."

  They hugged and Katrina walked back to Kat’s Korner. The Fall Festival would be fine without her. Even thinking about attending made her stomach clench. She pushed the idea out of her mind and walked through the propped-open door of the store. Paint fumes stung her nose and she hurried to the office.

  Alec didn’t hear her come in. Or if he did, he didn’t show it. He lurked at the computer studying a screen full of numbers. Grabbing the extra chair, she pulled it beside him and sat down.

  "How’s it coming?"

  "You’re worse off than I thought." He swiveled towards her, expression sober. "How do you pay your bills? Your profits are barely above your expenses."

  Katrina’s spirits plummeted. It was a truth she’d been trying to ignore for months. "Mother left a trust and the house is paid off."

  Alec squinted. "She had money?"

  "Yeah." Katrina rubbed her temples. "Mother liked poverty until Joey came along. I never saw someone change overnight like she did. She loved him in a way she never loved me." Katrina had grown up with perfectly ironed clothes and a mother who never smiled.

  "I’m sorry."

  "Don’t be. Joey deserved every bit of it." She glanced at the computer. "Do you still want to buy part of Kat’s Korner?"

  "Here’s the check." He gestured to the desk. "But I don’t see how you can survive much longer. There’s just not enough demand in a town this small for your product."

  "I know. Keep your money."

  "No way, Katrina. It’s all part of investing."

  "You shouldn’t have to pay for this mess. All I have to do is sell off the inventory and try to break even, right? Then can I pay you for your services?"

  "The deal was I own part of it."

  "But if it has to be sold, then what does it matter to you?"

  "We can sell it and make a profit, even in this economy."

  Her gaze lingered on the computer, identical to the one in the front of the store. "I guess I shouldn’t have bought these new computers."

  "Are they on credit?"

  "Cash." She wished her hands weren’t so sweaty. Now that she’d spoken of selling Kat’s Korner out loud her heart was beating overtime. Nerves or excitement, she couldn’t tell.

  The doorbell chimed, followed by an angry shout. "Katrina Ross, I know you’re here."

  She shot out of her seat, leaving Alec in the office. Who would be rude enough to yell like that in her store?

  She slid behind the safety of her counter and eyed the burly man with wariness. "Steve." Obviously not in jail. "What are you doing here?" A new beard grazed his chin and his eyes were bloodshot. Either he wasn’t getting any sleep or he was drinking too much.

  Or both.

  He loomed towards her and smacked large, hairy hands on her countertop. "Where is she? I want my wife and I want my kids."

  "Then you shouldn’t have tried to kill Sharon." Chest tightening, she moved back against the wall and hoped his arms were not long enough to reach her.

  "Look here, Miss high and mighty. The whole town knows you took her to your house. Patsy Millberger saw y’all. You better tell me what you’ve done with them or I’ll—" His gaze shifted past her to the office door.

  "You’ll what?" Alec’s cold voice colored Steve’s face scarlet.

  The two men faced each other. Glancing down, Katrina saw Alec’s hands curled into fists. She’d better do something.

  "We’ll call the police," she said, voice bordering on a squeak. So much for trying to scare him off.

  "Right." Steve sneered. "I’ll find them. Sharon’s gonna be sorry she left. And I don’t know who you are, but you better watch your back." He directed his last words to Alec before turning and barging out the door.

  "Sharon’s husband?"

  Katrina nodded, folding her arms tightly against herself to stop the trembling.

  "Nice guy." Alec’s hand moved to her shoulder for a brief squeeze before dropping to his side.

  "We need to call the police. They have a warrant for his arrest," she said, letting Alec guide her to the office. He gently pushed her into a chair and then sat down across from her.

  "Steve won’t find her." His dark eyes probed hers and she looked away.

  Adrenaline made her knees knock together. She took a deep breath. "I know."

  "I’m calling Grant "

  She nodded. The policeman, also Alec’s high school friend, would know what to do. Throughout the years she’d worried Grant would tell Alec about Joey if he ever saw her son. At the same time, she’d hoped he would, just to save her the confrontation.

  But in all the years they’d lived in the same town, she’d only run into Grant a few times.

  She watched the way Alec’s fingers punched the numbers on her phone. Strong hands, confident. The hands of a man who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. Maybe he had come back for her, but after finding out about Joey, would he ever be able to forgive her?

  Would he ever see her as someone other than the selfish woman who’d kept his child a secret?

  CHAPTER TEN

  Saturday morning Katrina watched the sun slant in through her bedroom window blinds, unbearably vivid arches of light that weaved across her carpet. She burrowed further into the down comforter. Too bad she couldn’t block out the happy sounds of nature beyond her window. Or better yet, go to work and hibernate in mounds of books.

  But Kat’s Korner closed every year during the Festival. It was the town’s last hurrah before the snow birds started arriving in droves. The elderly swooped in for winter, bringing fresh business to various shops across town, preparing them for spring when the snow birds would be replaced by tourists and vacationers.

  And so the town celebrated autumn by holding a festival for the locals.

  She closed her eyes, willing sleep to return and take her away. But no sleep arrived to rescue her. Alert, her ears picked up the sound of a lawn mower, the whoosh of passing cars. Her cell phone chirped, and she groaned. Rachel knew better than to bug her about the festival. Popping out of her nest of blankets, she swiped the phone off the nightstand and glanced at the name on the screen.

  Alec.

  Grimacing, she reached for the phone and flipped it open. "Yes?"

  "I need you at the store." His voice sounded terse.

  She straightened, brushing unruly morning hair from her eyes. "Is everything okay?"

  "Just get here."

  He disconnected. She scowled. If it wasn’t Kat’s Korner she’d ignore him and dive back beneath the covers. But if something was wrong at her store, she should be there.

  Needed to be there.

  She hopped out of bed, ran a brush through her hair and dragged on jeans and a t-shirt. A glance in the mirror convinced her to pull her hair into a ponytail. No need to look like she'd been hit by a hurricane.

  It took longer than usual to arrive at Kat’s Korner. A parade clogged Main street, forcing her to maneuver through back roads, but eventually she pulled into the small plaza parking lot that housed both Kat’s Korner’s and the Pizza Place’s building. Alec paced outside her store, his hands jammed into the pockets of baggy jeans. From looking at him, no one would guess he bought businesses for a living. Maybe he liked it that way. A rebel on the outside, a single-minded professional on the inside.

  She parked the car, turned the key in the ignition and sat, unsure. Alec looked more than tense. His steps were quick and stiff. He must have heard her car because as soon as she parked he strode over, his shoulders squared beneath a pale blue polo shirt.

  Katrina looked
past him. No light in the store windows, as though he hadn’t even gone in. When Alec reached the car, he opened her door and leaned against the frame, peering in. The wind riffled through his hair, then snuck into her car as a humid puff. A strange look flickered across his face, part grimace, part smile, it seemed.

  "Hi," he said.

  "Hi." In the distance Katrina heard kids laughing, the beep of a fire engine. She wiggled in her seat, pulled her shirt away from her skin in an effort to combat the heat. "What's wrong?"

  His gaze didn’t leave her face. "The store is fine."

  An uneasy fear gripped her. "Then what’s the problem?"

  He rubbed at his chin. "I heard you haven’t been to the Festival in years."

  "So?"

  A sigh escaped him, a heavy rush imbued with unspoken sorrow. "Don’t you think it’s time for you to move on?"

  Her spine snapped straight. "Are you saying you tricked me into coming here?" She challenged him with her gaze, daring him to truthfulness.

  "More like lured?" He squatted before her, lowering himself in an obvious move to ease her defensiveness. To make her feel bigger. She didn’t want the tactic to work, but it did. From this angle she could see the pleading in his dark eyes. "Ms. Lincoln told me you haven’t attended since Joey died."

  Her jaw tightened and she didn’t respond.

  "Just come with me. I haven’t been in town for ten years. It would be great to hang out for awhile, maybe eat some cotton candy." Though his tone was light, a serious note crept through.

  Katrina chewed her cheeks, debating. Of course she should go. Not to hang out, as he put it, but to face the past and overcome it. But every nerve in her body screamed no. She chanced a look at Alec and caught him mid-frown. A flash of understanding cut her to the bone. He didn’t want to go with her. His face had given it away. "Hanging out" must be some savvy ploy to get his way.

  Her chin lifted. "Why are you doing this? What does it matter to you?"

  The skin over his cheekbones tightened, drawing his face into lines of pain. "I don’t know."

  "Some inkling, maybe?" Sarcasm vibrated her voice like a bow to string. She couldn’t face the crowds, see the children and be reminded. It wasn’t fair of him to ask it of her, no matter what she’d done to him.