Seeking Her

by Cora Carmack

  I handed over my phone, then watched as he studied it with a bit more comprehension than his sister. He turned it sideways, then back again.

  “Botanical gardens,” he said. “Near the monastery.”

  “Can I take a cab there? If I say ‘botanical gardens’ will they know what I mean?”

  Ivan rubbed at a pimple on his chin, and then shrugged. “Metro is easier.” He pointed down the street and said, “There. To universytet.”

  “University?”

  “Yes. Is next to botanical gardens.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Okay, thank you, Ivan.” I knelt down in front of the little girl, and I noticed the bottom of her dress was smudged with dirt. “And thank you, too.”

  “Sasha,” Ivan told me.

  “You were very helpful, Sasha.”

  Her grin was adorable.

  Sometimes, I wondered if I might have turned out differently if I’d had siblings. If I’d had a little sister like her to look after and protect, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten lost so deeply in my own troubles.

  But there was no time to think of that now, to wander through the minefields of my past, not when I had someone who needed me in the present.

  2

  I EMERGED FROM the metro right next to the university, and the botanical gardens were easy enough to spot. They were situated right next to a monastery. Green domed roofs and golden spires took up the forefront of my view while the gardens stretched out behind it. With a river at my back and the cool breeze carrying the scent of flowers, I was distracted for a moment from my search.

  If I didn’t need to find her, this would be the perfect place to draw.

  Sketching calmed me. Maybe because it brought order to a disordered world. But it more than that. It allowed me to do more than just fix a chaotic world; it let me escape it. By focusing on the page, I forgot about everything around me. I stepped onto another plane and found peace in something beautiful. And though sometimes this seemed impossible in all the world’s ugliness, there was always at least one beautiful thing.

  At the moment there was much more than one.

  The smell of the gardens was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, light and sweet and seductive all at the same time. The breeze teased through the canopy of trees, and it hit me then how tired the flight halfway around the world had left me.

  I blinked, shook my head, and stretched my neck.

  Focus, Hunt. This is not a vacation for you.

  I referenced the GPS on my phone again. The garden was full of winding trails, and there wasn’t a straight line between Kelsey and me, not without trekking through some, no doubt, rare and expensive greenery.

  So I guessed as best I could. Whenever there was a chance to turn in Kelsey’s direction, I took that path. Sometimes it would wind in a completely different direction, and I’d have to double back and try a different trail. I should have picked up some kind of map or something, but I didn’t.

  So phone in hand, I did my best.

  Finally, I was close enough that she should be just around the bend.

  Only the trail I was on didn’t curve; it remained straight and steady right past where the app said Kelsey should be.

  I stopped, puzzled.

  Maybe a different trail would circle around to where she was.

  I trekked back to the last path I’d been on and took the next turn toward Kelsey, sure that that path would lead me to her.

  It didn’t.

  Once again, I found the trail I walked curving away from where my phone said my target was.

  Sighing, I cast my eyes around to make sure there was no one else around, and then stepped off the path and into a wooded area that I hoped wasn’t off limits. Twigs crunched beneath my boots; and even though I was doing something that could potentially get me kicked out, I felt at ease.

  I’d always been more at home in the wilderness. You’d think growing up in Texas that I would have had my fill of it, but not in my family. Golfing was about as close to nature as my father got.

  I shrugged off my thoughts and worries and sank into the sounds of nature. I focused on the GPS and enjoyed the steady rhythm of my steps through the woods.

  I slowed when I neared the area where Kelsey was supposed to be, so that I didn’t give myself away. Stepping carefully, I moved quietly between the trees. I kept expecting to peek around a trunk and see her, but she wasn’t there.

  Not even when I was right on top of the signal.

  That’s when I saw her backpack, tossed into the dirt beside a bush, a water bottle, some lipstick, and a passport spilling out of its open top.

  My heart thudded once, and then picked up, double time.

  Adrenaline sharpened my vision. Careful to keep an eye on my surroundings, I stole past my hiding spot and knelt beside the backpack. I flipped open the passport, and there she was. God, even her passport picture was gorgeous. Long tousled blond hair and vivid green eyes.

  I closed the little book, squeezing it between my fingers, then scanned my surroundings again.

  Maybe my original inclination to panic hadn’t been so far off.

  I made myself slow down and consider the facts.

  She’d not made any phone calls upon arrival, unless she’d made them in the restroom at the airport. That was the only time she was out of my sight. I’d followed her on the metro and through the streets to her hostel. I’d watched her check in, and everything had seemed normal.

  Assuming she would take a little bit to get settled, I’d snuck off around the corner to the inn we’d passed by on the way to her hostel.

  I tried to recall her and the guy she’d gone off with on the moped.

  Her cheek had rested against his back, so he was taller. She was fairly tall herself, so I guessed that would put him at maybe six foot three. My height, or close to it. He’d worn a helmet, so I had no idea what he looked like, only that he was bigger, enough to overpower her, if that’s what he wanted.

  Her hands had gripped his jacket, not his waist. What did that mean? If he were a boyfriend, surely she would have held on to him instead of his clothes.

  Something in me relaxed at that notion, but at the same time more anxiety flooded my already aching head.

  If he wasn’t a boyfriend, that meant she’d gone off with a complete stranger. But why?

  Just when I was about to give up hope of my stealthy role and start yelling her name, I heard laughter behind me.

  I edged around the bush, and saw two legs stretching out behind a tree. Dark jeans and boots, not the short-­shorts and strappy shoes that Kelsey had been wearing.

  I retreated back behind another line of trees, and then carefully maneuvered my way closer.

  A white shirt hung, snagged on a branch, swaying in the floral breeze. That should have given me a clue. But my mind was still in mission mode, so I continued my slow, silent steps until I saw Kelsey—­shirtless . . . straddling who I guessed was her moped driver.

  I mouthed a curse word, but I didn’t look away.

  Her skin was smooth and tan, and I was fascinated by the trail of her spine, the way it deepened like an empty riverbed when she arched forward. The tips of her hair danced across her back, swaying with her movements. Her bra was emerald green, almost like her eyes; and my mouth went dry when she leaned back—­and I got a full view of her. I could almost ignore the guy who was with her and the way he trailed kisses down her neck to her collarbone. I could almost pretend that this wasn’t a billion different kinds of wrong.

  Almost.

  I was stuck, frozen in place, helpless to do anything but stare at her, at the complete abandon written across her face.

  Who knows how long I would have stayed there if the guy hadn’t looked up and met my eyes.

  I mouthed a few four-­letter words and spun away, pressing my back against the tree.
>
  He said something, and I got ready to run.

  “What?” Kelsey asked, her voice so breathy and sensuous that it brought the image of her back into my mind with such perfection that I would have believed I was seeing it for real.

  Damn it. This is a mission. Focus.

  The guy repeated himself, louder this time, in another language.

  “That sounds gorgeous, but I don’t know what you’re saying.”

  Slow and unsure, the guy said, “Man.”

  “Yes, that’s you,” Kelsey replied with a laugh.

  “No. Man.”

  Behind me, there was shuffling, and I heard Kelsey scoff, “Hey.”

  I noted that as my cue to leave, and I took off, careful to dart behind trees until I was far enough away that I could make an all-­out run for it. I didn’t stop when I hit the trail, but kept on going until I was back to the more populated areas of the garden, where I could blend in around other ­people. I found a spot on the steps and picked up a newspaper when someone else abandoned it. I couldn’t read the printed words, but I welcomed the sanctuary as I hid behind the thin sheets of paper.

  Fucking hell, that was messed up.

  My job for the foreseeable future was protecting a girl who followed a complete stranger (who barely even spoke her language) into the woods to hook up. It was so fucking careless, and I was beginning to understand exactly why her father had gone to such lengths to make sure she was taken care of during this trip.

  Jesus. And I had thought this would be boring.

  Goddamn stressful was more like it.

  As annoyed as I was with her, I was infinitely more annoyed with myself. I was the dumbass who almost got caught because I couldn’t pull my eyes away from her.

  I had to get that shit under control or she would make me in no time. And I needed to take this seriously. This guy hadn’t hurt her, but I knew firsthand that there were plenty of ­people out in the world willing to take advantage of her particular brand of naïveté.

  I kept my phone perched on my knee, watching that sedentary blue dot out of the corner of my eye. It was another fifteen minutes or so before it began to move. Five more before I saw Kelsey and her foreign friend emerge from the dirt trail onto the paved steps at the center of the garden.

  They passed by me and I scowled, expecting the two of them to go back to wherever his moped was parked, leaving me to chase behind again.

  I was surprised when Kelsey stopped at the bottom of the steps and said something to him. He paused and leaned his ear closer to her mouth like that might help him understand her better. She took a few steps back and gestured toward the garden. He looked confused, but her intentions became pretty clear when she started climbing the steps and waved goodbye.

  He stared after her for a few moments, his mouth open and his brows furrowed. His eyes dropped to her legs, and he grinned in a way that was both sorrowful and celebratory at the same time. Sad to see her go, but victorious all the same.

  He ran his fingers through his mussed hair, and then turned back in the direction he’d been heading. I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be seeing him again, and felt stupid for being glad.

  I turned sideways so that I could see where Kelsey was heading. I waited until she’d left the steps of the courtyard and turned down one of the paths. I got up and followed her, tucking the newspaper in my back pocket in case I needed it again for cover.

  I followed at a distance, but the stealth wasn’t really necessary. She didn’t stop to smell any flowers or pause to take a picture. She walked quickly, determinedly forward like there was somewhere specific she meant to go.

  Still, I held back, wanting to be cautious after nearly getting caught before. I was glad I did when, several minutes later, I started to round a bend only to find her stopped and scanning the area around her. I stepped off the path and into a thatch of trees where she couldn’t see me.

  When she was satisfied that she was alone, she dropped her backpack beside the trail and walked up to an old, very large tree. The branches were thick and numerous; she gravitated toward a limb that dipped low to the ground, the spears of grass skimming its bark.

  She tested its strength with her hand and then, satisfied, sat down on it. She wrapped her arms around herself, grasping both elbows, and laid back along the limb.

  I might have thought she was sunbathing, except she took no care to lie in a place with direct sunlight, nor did she uncross her arms.

  I thought maybe she was resting, taking a nap even, except I could see the steady, constant tap of her sandal from here.

  I wanted to move closer, to see her face and try to decipher what was going through her head. Had she been heading for this particular tree? Or was she just looking for solitude? I brushed away a niggling of guilt at intruding.

  I was reading things into her posture, into the rhythm of her tapping foot, and I couldn’t tell whether she was truly upset or if I just wanted her to be.

  For all I knew, she was as relaxed as could be.

  There was nothing that said women couldn’t have meaningless sex. I’d had my fair share, and it was only double-­standard assholes that didn’t seem to think that that was okay.

  And I didn’t want to be that guy.

  But I couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever Kelsey was feeling, relaxed wasn’t it.

  I resisted the urge to move closer. The trail was wide open next to her. There was no sneaking up on her now, not like when she’d been in the woods.

  So I had to wait, with just conjecture and my GPS for company. If only that little app could tell me where her mind was along with her body.

  Not that that mattered. How she was feeling had nothing to do with my job. I just needed to keep her safe. But then again . . . how she was feeling would influence her actions, which did matter to me.

  When the sun’s light was low in the sky, casting angled shadows across the trail, Kelsey sat up.

  I strained my eyes to see if she’d been crying or if there was any other signal of meaning for her little break.

  I got nothing.

  She looked as perfect as ever, and I decided that it had all been me, seeing what I wanted to see. She was fine.

  I made a promise to myself once and for all to turn off the emotional side of this. I needed to be as objective as possible if this was going to work.

  From now on, I would watch her when I could.

  Find her when I’d lost her.

  Protect her when she needed me.

  That was it. Nothing else.

  3

  TEMPTATION. IF THIS mission had a code name, that would be it.

  Not just Kelsey, though the girl was temptation at it’s finest, but everything about it. It was hard to stay focused on work when “the office” was a bar.

  I’d pretty much decided that she was a spoiled rich girl, and that made her easier to resist. But having daddy’s credit card meant she had no shortage of outfits designed just to bring men to their knees.

  She was wearing one now—­ a short white lacy skirt that made her tan skin seem to glow in the light of the bar. Her shirt hung off one shoulder in a way that was supposed to look like an accidental peek of skin, but definitely wasn’t. And there was just something about the plateau of her shoulder that made you want to lay your lips against it for a taste.

  That wasn’t the only thing beckoning for a taste, though.

  I watched her lick her lips before tipping back some dark concoction in a shot glass that tonight’s guy had bought for her.

  I clenched my fists harder, wincing at the stinging cuts my short nails made into my palm, and focused my eyes elsewhere. I wasn’t here to have a good time. I busied myself scanning the bar for potential hazards.

  The only potential danger I saw was a drunk guy weaving through the tables. And he was mostly in danger of knockin
g over any drink within a ten-­foot radius.

  I redirected my gaze to Kelsey in time to see her finish a shot and then take a lime from between some dude’s lips.

  A few seconds later, she grinned wildly, like she was having the best fucking time of her life.

  I envied her that.

  I’d certainly done my fair share of partying. I could still remember the first party I’d attended in high school. I’d been a freshman, and when I made varsity basketball, the team invited me out with them.

  My first shot of tequila had burned like rubbing alcohol, and I ended that night blowing chunks into the pool in the backyard.

  Funny how something so terrible could be nostalgic now.

  Maybe Kelsey’s dad was strict. The fact that he hired me certainly meant that he was controlling. Maybe she was just sowing her wild oats. And as much as I didn’t want to be here, I couldn’t exactly begrudge her the chance to loosen up.

  And damn, was she good at loosening up.

  The music was electronic and kind of all over the place. It made it even harder to focus on the task at hand, and I could feel the beginning of a headache pulsing above my eyebrow.

  I heard a shrill shriek on the other side of the bar and jumped to attention. My mind ordered my feet to move, and I got a few steps before I really catalogued the situation.

  Kelsey wasn’t in trouble.

  Not really.

  A guy with dark hair and model good-­looks had lifted her up to sit on the bar, and she was laughing as he pushed her to stand up on it.

  She shook her head, her smile so wide that it shone in the dim bar. The guy said something, his fingers pressing into her waist. She laughed, throwing her head back. Her hair fanned out behind her, and my fingers itched to freeze time and sketch her in that moment.

  Her eyes closed—­she looked transported. Like she lived on some other plane, one brighter and more beautiful than ours. And I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Eyes all across the bar were pinned on her, no doubt drawn by the same inexplicable essence that made me unable to take my eyes off of her, regardless of what I was supposed to be doing. In that moment, I think everyone envied her.