Delusions of Loyalty (The Braykith Series Book 2)

by Jennifer R. Kenny

  “Eva, please…” his voice trailed off, but he did not take his hand back.

  “Are you being called to duty?” she asked.

  Thomas shook his head. “No. I have not been called. My duty is to you and Glais. That is where my future leads.” He sighed, easily gripping her fingers and stopping Evangeline from playing with his hands anymore. “You need to end this torment.” He murmured.

  “If I have to suffer, then you shall suffer with me.” Evangeline smiled briefly before letting her hand drop his. “I did not want you to leave.”

  “But you do not like that I will stay.” Thomas countered.

  “I can not answer that.” Evangeline shielded her face from him and hated to hear him sigh. She struggled with finding the right words for this moment. “I just needed to know from you, Thomas.”

  “Know what?” Thomas looked away, the tightness in his chest restricting his breath. He was aware that what was coming, but he had no comfort for her. She had told him not to expect more than a single moment, and now Evangeline treated him as if they were more then that single arrangement. Loving her came with more grief beyond knowing he was hurting his future king.

  “I just need to know what to expect. In the future,” Evangeline fumbled over her words to ensure that Thomas understood her message. “I do not want to find you gone some morning with no news on if you will ever return.”

  Thomas sighed. These were the words she should be saying to Glais, fears of her husband being called to duty. Thomas was amazed that she reserved those feelings for him and yet feared what would come of him should other discover the depth of their friendship. “Should I be called to service I will be sure to inform you personally.”

  Evangeline could not tell if he was mocking her not, and so she did not answer him.

  “I love you, Evangeline. If I ever thought that it was possible, neither of us will be here. I can not explain it, but I love you more now than before, and I feel more at war with myself then when we first met.”

  Evangeline kissed him on a sudden impulsive need, and there was no pretending with him. She took his hands and placed them on her hips, as she pressed her body to his. The gasping sound that escaped her mouth was genuine, and she wanted him to know how he made her feel. Thomas cut the kiss short, but Evangeline was still left breathless as he looked down at her stunned at her actions. “I’m not sorry.”

  “I know.” Thomas couldn’t smile at Evangeline though. It hurt too much. “We need to better control your impulses.” He tried to tease her, mocking her slightly by using the faults Quintus found and delivering them as flattery, but his mind was reeling with what had just happened.

  Evangeline laughed and shook her head. “Any who believe I have no control over my impulses are yet to be left alone with you.” She countered good-naturedly, staying pressed tight against him and simply enjoying the closeness. Here in the trees, Evangeline could almost believe they were entirely secluded from the rest of the world. She put her head on his shoulder, breathing in the scene of him where the collar of his uniform met his body. Closing her eyes, she knew he was not in the same place as her emotionally.

  Pulling back., Evangeline looked up at him with expectations. “Thomas?”

  “Those impulsive actions brought us together.” He said softly, and when Evangeline continued to look up at him, he finally met her eyes directly. His resolve softened at the expression on her face. This was not easy for her, and Thomas knew it. Now she seemed to open to the possibility that he could help but believe that this would work out somehow. “Surely they cannot be all that bad.”

  Evangeline sighed and rested once more upon his shoulder. “It has only been a few days, but I believe I have found a balance between duty and love.” She confessed.

  Thomas did not want to have this discussion. He never enjoyed it when they did speak of her marriage, and yet it seemed to come up naturally far more often than Thomas could believe. “That cannot be true.” He said, closing his eyes.

  Evangeline frowned. “How so?”

  “Because you still ignore me.” Thomas ran his hand down her back, stopping on the small of her back. His fingers splayed out to cover as much as he was able as he held her. “You still manage to avoid me., You still pretend that I do not exist, except in the times you make yourself available. It is a rejection that cuts deeper than any blade.”

  Evangeline paused, considering their situation and how he must feel. She knew it was selfish of her to drag him into this situation, and yet she could not imagine her life without him. Evangeline wondered if Thomas realised how much he meant to her. She couldn’t bring herself to voice those words right now, and Evangeline went in a different direction. “I asked you once for a particular favour Thomas, and you granted it to me with no hesitation.” She pulled back enough to look up at him. “I have a new favour to ask.”

  Thomas did not falter. “If it is in my power, then it is yours.”

  “Forgive me?” she asked.

  Thomas frowned. “For what?” He was cautious to encourage her to speak further. He was lucky to have even a small part of Evangeline in his life, and yet he would never be satisfied with that. To take it away seemed like a cruel punishment.

  Evangeline smiled, reaching up to cup his chin with her hand. She did not like the look in his eyes, and she hated being responsible for it. “For never stopping to think you deserve better. Forgive me for being selfish and never giving you the proper role you deserve at my side.”

  Thomas was surprised by the ghost of a smile that glazed his lips before he kissed her thumb quickly. “I know our love must be secret.”

  “It is more than that.” Evangeline looked around them, but this grove was well hidden. The people of Braykith had been without nature for so long they did not understand the luxury of it now. No one would appreciate the trees like she did. There was a feeling of peace and freedom here that Evangeline could not explain. “I need you to know Thomas that every public affection I show Glais has your signature on it.” She kissed him before he could respond, pulling Thomas in close and allowed his body to replace the stain of Glais’ imprint.

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  Evangeline was too young to remember the war. Like it had been pointed out to her so many times recently, she had been a sheltered child. All she knew were the stories and songs that were still spoken now about Barret’s staggering feats against a poisonous army. Even so, Evangeline knew that it had been an operation of stealth and security. Everyone was sworn to secrecy, and death would greet those who went against it. There was no grand fare when Barret left the manor, if he left it all.

  She looked at Glais from the corner of her eye, noticing the way he was dressed. She could not be sure if it was the trick of the light or is it could be truth that somehow the fabric of his clothes was darker than normal. Everything had been pressed and of course looked like perfection on his frame. Usually, Glais would throw his hair into a ponytail at the base of his head with his own hands. Today, Wick stood behind him and pulling the brush back through his long hair, ensured that each strand was in its correct place before she secured it with a strap of leather. Separating the strands into three different groups, Wick worked silently on the braid that would come to hit his mid back.

  Evangeline went back to studying her hands before Glais could meet her eye. Sable worked on securing the tiara to her head, her hair left loose around her shoulders as was the custom in Braykith. Small sections were being pulled back to give the jewels the nest they needed to stay in place, but it was minimal and secretive, so the tiara seemed secured as if by will alone.

  Her dress was the same darkest black of Glais’ coat and pants. Evangeline held strong suspicions that their clothing had been tailored from the same cloth and made the same seamstress. She had never worn anything quite like this dress before, and she prayed she would never need to again. There was an elegant battle feel to the way the dress was structured. A beautiful tapestry that mimicked the pieces of armour,
should a woman ever be forced to wear it.

  Besides the imitation of a breastplate, the dress was lacking the usual details she had grown accustomed to since Wick had become in charge of her clothes and style. Small black buttons travelled up her sternum and to her neck where a diamond was hanging around her throat. To her surprise, the cut was not rounded or precise, and Wick would not respond when Evangeline had asked about its origin. The jewel looked dangerous and delicate all at the same time, like broken glass. Evangeline had never seen anything like it.

  She had felt Glais behind her before she looked up to see him. She only had the smallest of moments to realise what he was doing before his lips were pressed to her own. She did not pause, but instead returned the small sign of affection. Glais was starting to become more casual around her, but she was still uncomfortable in receiving him naturally. They needed to have a conversation about boundaries, and where she stood on their relationship but it would not be happening today.

  Quintus was leaving Braykith for war against the rebellion and any other person who dared come across him. She had been lucky to limit her interactions with him in the past few weeks to only breakfast and small engagements. In the past few days, Quintus had chosen not to take up breakfast at all and Evangeline had been relieved by his absence. This military attitude worried her and the less she needed to engage with it., the better it suited Evangeline.

  She understood the seriousness of this time and knew that Quintus was preparing troops for a real collision in perhaps the first time in living memory. Most of the men were second choices, the original forces still not fully capable yet. Recovery from the poison was a long process. If anyone dared asked her, Evangeline would say to abort the due date and wait for a more opportune moment. No one asked her, and as she prepared to see Quintus off with the rest of the family, Evangeline wondered if Quintus would ever make it home again.

  “Are you ready?” Glais asked, and Evangeline nodded. “There is just a little ceremony. Father will make a rousing speech, mother and Adeline will probably cry.” He smiled and cleared his throat gently before he could continue. He would not cry, but he was feeling the emotions of the day like everyone else. “Afterwards, I will need to speak with the remaining generals. I do not think I will see you again until this evening.” Glais warned her.

  Evangeline was silently pleased to know that the long hours Glais had started taking away from her lately and secretly hoped it would continue. “I suppose the distance is something we should start accepting.” She smiled when Glais reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles. His other hand took hers, and his thumb ran over the gold and onyx ring he had presented to her when she first arrived. Since he had given it to her, Evangeline had not removed it.

  “Come along, we cannot be late for this.” He reminded her, although Evangeline believed his nerves were getting the better of him.

  Knowing the sanctity of their bedroom was something they both respected, Evangeline felt safe in asking the probing question. “Are you scared for your father?” Evangeline asked as Sable did a final check of her appearance to ensure nothing was out of its place.

  “I fear many things, Evangeline.” He answer was non-committal, and she knew he was trying to protect himself from her judgement. He tried to find his escape, but Evangeline was faster.

  She stopped him before the doors could be opened. They needed a final moment together in their own space, where whatever needed to be said could be freely said. “You can admit you fear mortality.” She told him.

  Glais laughed, a mocking and short sound she had not heard from him before. “Mortality means nothing to me. You forget who you are talking to.” Evangeline knew that the smile was forced. It was only a pale imitation of that smirking cocky smile that she once hated. It only brought her sadness now, because, in this secret moment between them, Glais was hiding.

  Evangeline could not bring him out of this. For as long as she had known him, which was not very long she realised, but long enough for her to know that there would be times where Glais needed his armour. She reached for the dropped diamond that sat on her chest. A sharp intake of breath and Evangeline pulled her hand away to show the fresh cut from the jiggered edges.

  Glais took her hand before she could pull away. She stared up at him as he kept her finger clamped tight. Her heart thundering in her ears, Glais pulled out a handkerchief and wrapped it around the wound.

  He watched her, knowing what she must be thinking. “We have made many significant steps forward recently my love, but I know you are not ready for that.” He kissed the fabric that bound her finger, Glais was sure to stay discreet about the full deep breath he took under the pretence of affection. He hungered for her, but the mesh of sex and blood were always together in his mind. It was impossible to separate them entirely. “You need to be more careful.” He warned her.

  “I know.” She gently took her hand back and kept the fabric he had offered pressed to the cut. It had been shallow and already the throbbing had stopped, but it had been foolish to forget for just a moment the danger that the beauty held.

  Glais opened the door for her, and Evangeline walked past him, hearing him follow, but neither Wick or Sable were invited to the ceremony. This was strictly for the royal bloodline.

  Everything changed the moment they stepped into the hallway. Evangeline felt it, and she knew Glais did as well. There would be too many people watching them today, and Evangeline felt the stress that came with being Glais’ wife and the future Queen to Braykith. Glais was well practised in making his outer appearance more acceptable to the masses, and so it was easier for him. Evangeline had needed to draw on the memory of her mother before she could truly act the part of Glais’ equal. Evangeline knew that her mother Thea had never been a Queen during her life at Crimah, she was always sure to conduct herself in such a manner that people felt comforted and inspired by her presence. That was the kind of person Evangeline wanted to be. She hoped someday she might be. She hoped no one noticed her flaws.

  Keeping up with her husband, they said nothing as they were escorted down the hallways and towards the main entrance by four guards. They were the last to arrive, but Evangeline knew they had not missed the ceremony. Adeline stood awkwardly off to one side, dressed in the Braykith Black that covered every member of the Royal family. Her dress was like Evangeline’s, but Adeline could not hold the same sophistication that Evangeline had brought to the details. Evangeline could see the military inspired style remained in Adeline’s bodice, but it was softer around the edges and less defined. Her design was for a child after all, while Evangeline was married to the future King. Their clothes made separate statements to the court but carried a united mission.

  Kyleigh looked up as Evangeline and Glais joined her. A different, yet still empowering, military twist adorned her bodice, turning Kyleigh into the image of an impressive warrior rather than the simple-minded Queen Kyleigh Evangeline found her to be. However, the strength in the dress was tarnished by the thick men’s belt that sat low on her hips, and at her side was the sword that Evangeline recognised as Baxter’s. It was not proper etiquette for Kyleigh, or any of the women within the castle, to be seen with weaponry. However, Evangeline took pity on anyone who dared tried to remove it. Kyleigh noticed Evangeline eyes on the sword.

  “It isn’t his real sword.” Kyleigh stopped and took a breath, struggling to speak about her son. “But a replica he kept for training. It is lighter than his real sword.”

  Evangeline nodded. “He was a great fighter.” She did not know that for a fact, but it seemed to be something that people kept saying about Baxter after his death. Almost everyone agreed that if he had not been surprised, the rebels would have lost to him and not the other way around. Evangeline would not argue.

  Kyleigh held the hilt of the sword with a soft grip, lost in a memory that she did not share. Glais chose that moment to move over to where Quintus beckoned him. Kyleigh’s eyes followed Glais with a look that Evangeline did not re
cognise but could easily guess.

  “Be kind to my son,” Kyleigh said, Evangeline silenced by the passion in her voice.

  “Of course Kyleigh,” Evangeline said. “I have only his interests at heart.”

  Kyleigh turned her aged face towards Evangeline and held her gaze firm. “No, you do not. He will need you, and you might not want to admit it Eva, but you need him if you are going to stay here.”

  Evangeline looked back to Glais, not hearing the quick conversation he was having with his father but using the distraction to avoid looking at Kyleigh. “I can only do my best.”

  Kyleigh nodded. “I hope that is enough.” She moved away, taking her position beside her daughter.

  Evangeline felt the cold shoulder and knew the strain between herself and Kyleigh was justified. She stayed where she was, standing alone and awkwardly to the side until Glais appeared once more. She did not feel him approach, and the suddenness made her jump. “Sorry.” She muttered taking a deep breath to try and settle herself.

  Glais did not seem to even notice. He offered her his arm, and she fit beside him easily. She noticed how similar Quintus was dressed to Glais, and wondered what kind of image was Quintus trying to send. “Father does not want there to be a reason to question my rule in his absence.” He answered her unasked question.

  “So he made you his twin?” Evangeline wondered how effective that could be.

  “People confuse us enough even when we wear opposite garments.” Glais reminded her. “But yes. You know how Father is all about appearances.”

  Evangeline was aware of that fact, but as she walked beside him, she was struck with how Quintus and Glais must appear to their council and their citizens. She had never realised that a significant portion of steady leadership was merely wearing the right thing and pretending until she came to Braykith. Yet, it should not be surprising for her. It had been so natural for her to adopt her mother’s mannerisms, and for Glais to mimic his father, that Evangeline wondered who they had learnt it from in the first place. Who was the first to realise a firm set mouth did more than hours of negotiations? No one had spoken such things to Evangeline during all her years of preparation.