The Governess of Highland Hall: A Novel

by Carrie Turansky

  “Whatever it is, I’ll try to help you if I can.”

  “Yes, I know you will.” She glanced at the chair. “Shall we sit down?”

  “Yes, of course.” Julia sat on the bench at the dressing table, and Mrs. Emmitt took the chair next to it.

  Mrs. Emmitt clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m very concerned about Sir William.”

  Julia’s heart lurched. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m afraid he’s in danger of losing Highland.”

  Julia glanced away. The financial matters William had shared with her were confidential. She couldn’t very well reveal what she knew to Mrs. Emmitt. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but when someone inherits an estate like this, the government requires them to pay a very large percentage of its value in death duties.”

  “Yes, I understand death duties.”

  Mrs. Emmitt’s eyes widened, but only for a second. “With an estate as large as Highland, the duties will be extremely high, and from what I understand, Sir William is having a difficult time raising the funds he needs.”

  Julia looked down, not wanting to confirm or deny what she knew.

  “If Sir William can’t pay the death duties by the first of March,” Mrs. Emmitt continued, “the estate will have to be sold. If that happens, Sir William will not only lose his house and land, he’ll also lose his position in society and his reputation. A baronet without land is … well, it would announce to the world that he is a failure.” The housekeeper lowered her chin and looked at Julia over the top of her glasses. “Do you understand?”

  Julia nodded. “Perhaps that’s why he wanted to simplify the menus and have Miss Ramsey oversee the purchasing.”

  Mrs. Emmitt pursed her lips, looking as though those changes were still painful. “Simplifying the meals and trimming expenses may have helped a bit, but now with the damages from the fire, he must pay for those repairs as well as the death duties, and that has backed him into a corner.”

  Julia swallowed. Where was Mrs. Emmitt going with this conversation?

  “I believe Sir William invited his brother to Highland with the hope that he would help him out of these financial difficulties.” Mrs. Emmitt shook her head, looking grim. “But I doubt that will happen. I don’t know why, but when Mr. Ramsey left this morning, it was clear he and Sir William were not parting on good terms.”

  Dizzy waves of regret flooded Julia. This was her fault. Her foolish choice to walk David to his room had driven a wedge between the brothers and destroyed William’s chance to receive the funds he so desperately needed. “I’m so sorry.”

  “There is still a chance to save Highland, and you must be the one to make it happen.”

  Julia looked up. “What can I do?”

  “There is an opportunity for Sir William to come into a great deal of money if he were to marry Miss Drexel.”

  Julia’s heart clenched. She rose to her feet and turned away. Lifting a trembling hand, she rubbed her throbbing forehead.

  “Please, listen to me, Miss Foster.”

  Julia slowly turned and faced the housekeeper.

  “Sir William is hesitant to propose to Miss Drexel, and I believe we both know the reason why.”

  Julia stared at Mrs. Emmitt, her hands suddenly ice cold.

  “I’m afraid you have captured his attention, and as long as you remain at Highland, he will not be interested in anyone else.”

  Her mouth fell open. “But I didn’t intend to attract his attention.”

  “Of course you didn’t. But you are young, and he is a man—a lonely man at that.” She adjusted her glasses and looked Julia over. “I suppose he couldn’t help himself.”

  A guilty wave poured over her, and her face flamed.

  “He cannot marry you. You are merely a distraction, and that is the problem.”

  Mrs. Emmitt’s words sliced through her heart.

  “I can see that you care for him, and that makes the situation all the more difficult.”

  Hot tears stung Julia’s eyes, but she blinked them away, determined to control her emotions.

  “It would be best for everyone if you give your notice and leave as soon as possible.”

  Julia shook her head. “But I can’t do that. Who will watch over the children and see to the young ladies’ education?”

  “It will only take a few days to find another governess.”

  Julia’s legs trembled, and she sank down on the bench. Of course, she could easily be replaced. Someone else could fill the position and care for them all.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Foster. I don’t like to be the one to put this unhappy choice before you. But if you care about Sir William and his family, then you will go quietly and give him no hope of convincing you otherwise.”

  Julia closed her eyes and pulled in a ragged breath. She loved William with all her heart, but Mrs. Emmitt was right. There was no future for them, and if she stayed at Highland, it would only lead to loss and heartbreak for them both.

  The choice was clear.

  And somehow she must find the courage to make it.

  William stared at the telegram in his hand and read it once more, his heart sinking like heavy stone.

  SPOKE TO SOLICITOR. NO FUNDS AVAILABLE.

  HE ADVISES AGAINST SELLING LONDON HOUSE.

  APOLOGIES. DAVID.

  “Sir, would you like me to gather the staff for Scripture reading and prayer?”

  William looked up and blinked at Lawrence. “What?”

  “Do you want to proceed as usual this morning with Scripture reading and prayer?”

  “Yes. I’ll be there in a moment.”

  “Very good, sir.” Lawrence nodded and left the library.

  William tossed the telegram onto his desk and stared toward the window. He should have known his brother would not help him. When William questioned David yesterday morning about the incident with Miss Foster, he’d laughed it off and said William was overreacting. But William had not backed down, and David left in a huff, without apologizing for the despicable way he had treated Miss Foster.

  He shook his head. What a fool he’d been to think his brother would stand with him through these trials.

  The sound of everyone gathering in the hall roused him from his discouraging thoughts. He picked up his Bible from the desk and walked out to meet them, his mood sinking lower.

  The staff lined up across the hall. Sarah, Katherine, and Penelope waited for him by the fireplace, but Miss Foster and the children were missing. The grandfather clock at the end of the hall struck nine, and he glanced up the stairs.

  Miss Foster came into view as she crossed the gallery with the nursery maid and children. Andrew bounded down the stairs, but Miss Foster did not call him back as she usually did.

  William frowned at his son, and Andrew slowed his pace as he crossed the hall.

  “Sorry, Papa. We didn’t mean to be late, but we had some trouble with our clothes.” Andrew looked down at his mismatched outfit. Apparently someone had given the children clothing to replace what had been burned in the fire, but Andrew’s pants looked too short and his shirt was several sizes too large.

  William frowned and tried to catch Miss Foster’s eye, but she stared straight ahead as she slipped into her place beside the children. Her face looked dreadfully pale, and her eyes appeared to be red, as though she had been crying. The drab gray dress she wore hung on her like an old sack.

  His frown deepened. “Miss Foster, are you ill?”

  She glanced at him and pressed her lips together, then quickly looked away. “No sir.”

  He stepped in front of her and lowered his voice. “I mean no offense, but your dress and appearance are quite … unusual.”

  “Most of my clothes were destroyed in the fire. Lady Gatewood sent over this dress for me.”

  “Where did she find it—in the rag bin?”

  Miss Foster’s pale face flushed pink. “I don’t know, sir.”

>   He huffed. “I’m sorry. I’m out of sorts.” He turned to Sarah. “Can you please find Miss Foster something else to wear? And Andrew as well?”

  Sarah nodded, but her unhappy expression warned him that his tone and actions could be considered hurtful.

  He faced the staff and found all eyes focused on him. Lawrence sent a stern glance down the row, and they quickly lowered their gazes.

  William opened the Bible, painfully aware that he had spent no time reading it for several days, and he had not prepared a passage for this morning.

  He turned to Psalms, which so often soothed him. The page fell open to Psalm 112, and he began reading. “ ‘Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.’ ”

  Andrew looked up at him with a question in his eyes.

  William wished he could acknowledge Andrew’s interest and explain the verse, but this was not the time. “Wealth and riches shall be in his house.” The phrase caught him by surprise, and his voice faltered.

  Sarah sent him a concerned look.

  He cleared his throat and continued. “His righteousness endureth for ever. Unto the upright there ariseth light in the darkness: he is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth …”

  His brother’s refusal to lend the needed funds rose in his mind, churning his thoughts. He clenched his jaw and focused on the page again. “Surely he shall not be moved for ever: the righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.”

  The psalm continued, but his throat felt so tight he could not go on. He closed the Bible, bowed his head, and tried to steady his emotions. But conviction pressed hard upon his heart. How could he expect the Lord to bless his home and family when he had given little thought to trusting Him or asking Him to guide and direct?

  Things had to change, and he would start with an honest prayer.

  “Father, we come to You today, asking forgiveness for our lack of trust and for the times we have pushed ahead without consulting You. Forgive us for losing sight of what is most important.

  “We thank You that no lives were lost in the fire and no one was seriously injured. Thank You for the way everyone worked together, risking their lives to save Highland and rescue those we love.

  “We ask for Your mercy and grace. Please help us be worthy to carry Your name and spread Your light through our household and our world. We lift this prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.”

  He looked up, and his gaze connected with Julia’s.

  Her pain-filled eyes glistened with tears.

  His chest tightened. He’d never seen her so distraught. Had she received some terrible news from home? Or was she still upset about the fire? He had no idea, but he intended to find out as soon as he had a quiet moment with her.

  He waited while Lawrence dismissed the staff. Ann took the children upstairs. Sarah, Katherine, and Penelope walked into the drawing room.

  Miss Foster turned to him. “May I speak to you in private, sir?”

  A wave of relief passed through him. “Yes, of course.”

  He led the way into the library, shut the door, and motioned toward the chair. “Please sit down.”

  She averted her eyes. “I prefer to stand.”

  The muscles in his shoulders tensed. “Very well.”

  She raised her chin and fastened her blue gaze on him. “I must give you my notice.”

  “What?” He stared at her, stunned.

  “I’m resigning my position. I would like to leave as soon as possible.”

  His mind spun. “Has something happened to your family?”

  “No sir.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot say.”

  “You cannot say?” He strode to the fireplace, heat flushing his face as he turned to her. “Do you have another offer? Someone willing to pay you more?”

  Hurt filled her eyes. “No sir.”

  “Then I don’t understand.” Pain pierced his heart, but he pushed it away and let his anger build to cover it. “You told me if you were leaving, you would give me several months’ notice. How can you walk in here and tell me that you want to leave as soon as possible?”

  “I’m sorry. I know it’s … inconvenient.”

  “Inconvenient? No, it’s uncaring toward the children and disloyal to me.” He lifted his hand. “How can you give me no warning—no time to find a replacement?”

  She looked down, and her silence hung between them like a heavy curtain.

  “Why?” His voice rose. “Why would you do this?”

  She lifted her face, her eyes pleading with him. “Please, sir. I cannot say.”

  “So that’s it?” He shook his head as painful memories washed over him. What a fool he’d been to think that she was different. “Once again I have been deceived by someone I trusted.”

  She clasped her hands. “I would never deceive you, sir.”

  “Well, that’s exactly what you’ve done. You made me believe I could count on you for loyalty and support. But I see I was wrong.” He set his jaw and nodded toward the door. “If that’s what you want, you may go.”

  She lowered her head again, her shoulders sagging.

  His heart wavered, but he steeled himself against it. “Collect your pay from Mrs. Emmitt on your way out, then do not return to Highland. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes sir.” She looked up, and this time, her face was set like stone. She turned away and strode out the door.

  Tears blurred Julia’s eyes as she left the library. Sarah’s and Katherine’s voices floated out from the drawing room. Penny’s merry laughter followed. Julia pressed her lips together, fighting back her tears as she passed the open doorway. She could not say good-bye. Not to them, and not to the children. Doing so would only make a scene and cause more hurt.

  Her stomach swirled at the thought of facing Mrs. Emmitt, so she slipped through the music room and out the side door, even though it meant she would leave behind her final month’s pay.

  The icy wind stung her hot cheeks and nearly jerked the door from her hand, but she managed to push it closed. Wrapping her arms around herself, she started down the gravel path. Dark clouds scuttled past overhead, and she hurried around the corner of the house.

  Clark walked toward her across the back courtyard. He smiled and lifted his hand, but as he drew closer, his expression sobered. “Miss Foster, where are you going?”

  “I’m leaving.” She could barely force the words past her tight throat.

  “To visit your family?”

  “No. I’ve given my notice. I’m leaving Highland … and once I walk out the gate, I’ll not be allowed to come back.”

  His eyes darkened, and concern lined his face. “You must be freezing. Come with me.” He nodded toward the greenhouse.

  A cold shiver raced up her back. She had no coat, and she was in need of the kindness of a friend. She nodded and walked across the courtyard and past the greenhouse with him. He ushered her into his office and gave her a chair by the wood stove.

  “Now tell me, why would you leave us when you know we all love you?”

  His gentle tone and kind words brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes. “I don’t want to go, but I must.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sure Sarah won’t agree, and neither will the children.”

  She bit her lip. “I wasn’t able to say good-bye, not to Sarah, or the children, or anyone. Will you do that for me?”

  “Yes, of course, but …” His face suddenly darkened and he leaned toward her. “Has Sir William done something improper? Has he hurt you?”

  She pulled in a sharp breath. “Oh no! Please, you mustn’t think that. He has always been a gentleman and treated me with kindness and respect.” Her eyes filled. “This is my decision, not hi
s.”

  Clark’s gaze softened and he nodded. “You love him, don’t you?”

  Her gaze darted to meet his. How had Clark discovered her secret?

  “Does he feel the same about you?”

  “No, and you must promise not to tell him about my feelings for him.”

  “But if he knew, perhaps he would—”

  “No. Trust me. If I don’t go, everyone on staff will lose their jobs, and Sir William will lose his home and his position in society.”

  Doubt filled Clark’s expression. “How could your staying on at Highland make all that happen?”

  “I am a distraction.” She had to swallow hard to get past that bitter word. “But if I go, and he forms an attachment with Miss Drexel, they can marry. Then his financial problems will be solved, and he won’t lose the estate.”

  “So you love him, but you’re leaving so he can marry Miss Drexel and with the hope he can hold on to Highland?”

  She sat up straighter and nodded. “Yes. Sometimes love demands a sacrifice.”

  Clark rubbed his chin and nodded. “That may be true, but is the Lord calling you to make that sacrifice?”

  She closed her eyes, her heart lifting the same question in a silent prayer. She waited and the answer settled over her with a painful but calm assurance. “Yes, I believe He is, and I am willing, though it breaks my heart to do it.”

  He pondered that for a moment. “Very well, then. If He’s called you to it, I won’t try to dissuade you.”

  She rose from the chair. “I should go before the rain starts.”

  He glanced toward the window. “I can give you a ride in the wagon.”

  “No, I can walk. I’ll be fine.”

  Concern filled his eyes. “Then take this.” He shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her. “At least it will keep you warm.”

  She hesitated, then allowed him to help her slip it on. “Thank you.” She started to say she would return it, but that was not possible. “I’ll send it back.”

  He gave her a sad half-smile. “I’ll explain things to Sarah, and we’ll pray for you.”

  “And I will pray for you and everyone at Highland.” With that she turned away and walked out into the cold morning.