Rebel Hard (Hard Play #2)

by Nalini Singh

  Unable to sit still, she slammed the cup on the table and rose, started to walk back and forth. Her breathing came out short and sharp, her blood roaring in her ears. “Last night I got home to find my sister sitting at the kitchen table again, chatting away to my father. I love her, but at that instant I wanted to scream at her for ruining my life.”

  Her body trembled. “And that was when I realized she hadn’t done anything to me.” It had been a ringing slap that stunned.

  Nayna had walked quietly through to her room and just sat on her bed for ten long minutes, staring at the wall and seeing her own blindness. “This is my life, and I’m the one who’s screwed it up.” It had been a powerful insight, one that had made her face up to her own mistakes, her own lack of courage.

  For better or worse, Madhuri had made her choices.

  Fourteen-year-old Nayna’d had good reason to resent her sister. She’d lost her freedom to be a teenager because of Madhuri, had never had the chance to make teenage memories of the kind Madhuri had taken for granted.

  But Nayna was an adult now, and she was still blaming her sister for her own life.

  That was bullshit.

  Slumping back into the sofa, she folded her arms. “I’m taking some extra vacation time, getting the hell out of here so I can clear my head. I’ve already okayed it with my bosses.” With the hours she’d put in pre-Christmas and over the past couple of days, her work was more than up to date and she’d be available to them by phone should they need her; she also had more than enough vacation time banked.

  “Where are you going?” Ísa asked, protective as a mama bear.

  “Here.” Nayna used her phone to forward the booking to Ísa; she did want someone to know her whereabouts should she go missing or get eaten by a possum.

  Ísa made sure the details had downloaded before she said, “If Raj tracks me down and asks?”

  Nayna had zero self-control where Raj was concerned; he looked at her and she melted. “You know nothing.”

  “Got it.”

  After drinking some more of the tea, Nayna raised an eyebrow. “So, you’re going camping?” Her friend had messaged her about the family camping trip to which Raj’s friend Sailor Bishop had invited her.

  “I hate you.” Ísa’s glare was pure death. “I’m doing it for love.”

  Snort-laughing and deliriously glad for the distraction, Nayna said, “Don’t forget the toilet paper.”

  They talked more, of fears and hopes and pain. Nayna’s heart ached for what Ísa was struggling with when it came to Sailor. He sounded like a really good guy—but one who had dreams that threatened to break Ísa’s heart. Nayna’s parents might be too involved, but Ísa’s were the other extreme. Except for a beautiful and happy few years with her own aji, Nayna’s best friend had grown up alone but for a few nannies.

  Rain came down in a hard burst beyond the windows, blurring the night.

  “Fuck the tea,” Nayna muttered on a burst of aggravation. “Where’s the tequila? I’ll sleep over.” She’d bought a small roll-on case at the mall, then filled it with necessary toiletries, a pair of pj’s, and a couple of changes of clothes. She had a spare set of canvas trainers in back of her car for when she wanted to run errands after work and didn’t want to wear heels. Anything she’d forgotten, she’d borrow off Ísa.

  She had no plans to go home again until she’d figured out her messed-up head. She sent through a quick message to her mother to say she’d be spending the night at Ísa’s.

  “Tequila as ordered.” Ísa held up a bottle triumphantly.

  Nayna found the salt.

  The first shot burned like fire.

  The second not so much.

  By the third, they were giggling and Ísa was muttering about romantic cactuses.

  “It’s cacti,” Nayna said with a burp. “I think.”

  “Cac…tiiiii,” Ísa sounded out slowly. “Dating a gardener is uh-mazing! He gives me cactuses. Be careful,” she said solemnly. “They prick if you’re naked.”

  Nayna wasn’t sure if it was after the fourth or the fifth shot, but at some point she dialed Raj’s number.

  “Hi,” she said when he answered. “I want to lick your abs.”

  “I could be persuaded,” he said and she thought he might be smiling. “Especially since I’ve just showered off the day so I’m clean for your tongue.”

  “I don’t mind sweaty.” She crunched a potato chip, then dug her hand into the bag for another one. “How come you’re so cute?”

  “Mere jaanam, are you drunk?”

  “No.” She hiccupped, decided to take another sip of tequila to wash down the potato chip. “Only had a few drinks.”

  “Of what?”

  “You called me your darling.” She blew him a noisy kiss. “You’re my jaanu too.”

  “Nayna, baby, what are you drinking?”

  “Tequila!” she whooped, and beside her, Ísa gave a battle cry.

  “Are you in a bar?” Raj asked, his tone rougher. “Do you two need a ride home?”

  She crunched more potato chips. “Will you be half-naked when you come? I want a half-naked taxi driver. With romantic cactuses.”

  “Cac-tiiiiii,” Ísa whispered loudly.

  “Nayna, focus. Where are you?”

  Nayna stuck out her tongue at the phone. “He wants to know where we are,” she said to Ísa without removing the phone from her ear.

  “Home!” Ísa yelled too loudly toward the phone. “We’re at home!”

  “See?” Nayna said into the phone. “We’re at home like I said.” Her brain was a little fuzzy, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t forget to tell him the most important thing, so she said, “I want to lick your abs.”

  “Anytime,” Raj answered, and she was eighty-nine percent sure he was laughing. “Can I lick yours in return?”

  Nayna pulled up the sleep T-shirt she’d borrowed from Ísa because she couldn’t be bothered going down to her car to get her stuff. Above her panties, her belly curved softly. “I don’t have any,” she said sadly. “It’s all soft.” She poked at it. “My panties are orange.”

  A harsh groan down the line. “Jaan, don’t drive tonight.”

  “Duh. I’m staying at Ísa’s.” Pushing down the T-shirt, she said, “Will you teach me how to have abs?”

  “No. I like you soft.”

  Nayna smiled and kicked her feet… and took the drink Ísa held out. Her friend’s face was a little red. Maybe she was drunk. Giggling at the thought, Nayna said, “You’re so pretty, Raj. I’m gonna have sex dreams about you.”

  Then she hung up and threw back the shot.

  “Sex dreams!” Ísa fell off the sofa laughing.

  Cracking up at her friend’s expression, Nayna swigged directly from the bottle of tequila and decided she would lick Raj’s abs twice.

  * * *

  Raj stared at the phone. “Sex dreams,” he muttered. “Nayna Sharma, you will drive me to madness.” Then he tore off his towel, which he’d wrapped around his body after he heard the phone come alive with the ringtone he’d programmed for her, and walked back into the shower.

  As he stroked himself to release under the heated spray, he imagined Nayna’s tongue as she licked her way down his abs and decided to go further. Those soft lips surrounding him, her long, slender-fingered hands on his thighs, her hair falling forward as she—

  “Fuck.”

  He came so hard that his back bowed and white spots flickered in front of his eyes. Slumping back against the shower wall while the water cascaded over him, washing away the signs of his orgasm, he told himself that he had to get a better handle on this. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to make it good for Nayna when she was ready to let him. And he wanted to make it good for her. So damn good.

  Finally getting out of the shower again ten minutes later, his body under control but his mind full of thoughts of her, he checked his phone to make sure she hadn’t sent him a message. Nothing.

  His adorably
drunk Nayna was probably fast asleep by now.

  He’d been worried there for a second that she was out somewhere and clearly incapacitated, but knowing that she was with her best friend, the two of them getting drunk safely at home, made him grin. He wondered if she’d remember what she’d said to him when she woke up tomorrow. If she didn’t, he’d be certain to remind her. It wasn’t every day that a man got told he was cute and that a woman wanted to lick his abs.

  Rubbing at his stubbled jaw, he said, “Cute” and chuckled.

  He dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, ran his fingers through his hair, then pulled on his sneakers and padded down the stone pathway that connected his one-bedroom unit to his parents’ place.

  His friend Sailor didn’t get it, how he could still live so close to his folks. Sailor loved his parents, but he’d been out of their place as soon as possible. But this was Raj’s normal. As the eldest son, he was expected to live at home—and to bring his bride home too. Raj had never felt like rebelling against that aspect of his culture; he’d grown up in a multigenerational family home, and he wanted that for his children too.

  Of course, he’d extend his place to be bigger. The family had the room on their patch of land, and no way was he sharing living space with Navin and Komal. He’d likely have to build a room for Aditi too, or she’d curse him to eternity, he thought with an inward laugh.

  Raj, did you dream of a homemaker wife and lots of children?

  The memory of Nayna’s solemn question made his lingering smile fade. He wanted to get in his truck and find her right now, had planned to track her down after his shower, but she was in no state to talk.

  “Tomorrow,” he promised himself. He’d find Nayna tomorrow and make her understand that she was the most important part of his dreams now. Everything else they could work out. She didn’t have to be afraid he’d try to put her in a box. Never would he do that to his bright, brilliant Nayna.

  “Tomorrow,” he whispered again, and it was a vow.

  24

  (very quiet whispers only please)

  “Nayna.”

  Nayna buried her head under the pillow, wondering why someone was playing the tabla inside her skull. But then a cruel hand came and ripped the pillow away.

  “Nayna,” the voice said again. “Wake up or you’ll miss your flight.”

  Groaning, Nayna cracked open one eyelid. “I hate you,” she said to her best friend. “How can you be so chipper?” As far as she knew, Ísa had drunk exactly as much tequila as she had.

  Ísa raised an eyebrow. “Do you remember how I told you not to get started on the half bottle of whiskey I found?”

  Nayna scowled. “What bottle of whiskey?”

  “Exactly.” Throwing the pillow aside, Ísa pointed toward the bathroom. “Shower, then I’ll drop you off at the airport if you want.”

  Usually, if Nayna was traveling within the country, she just parked her car in the airport’s long-term parking lot, but today she nodded. She was going to be gone at least a week, maybe more, and she didn’t want to leave her car in the lot for that long.

  “I’ll go grab your stuff.” Ísa picked up Nayna’s keys. “And I’ll move the car to your parents’ place tomorrow.”

  Staggering into the bathroom, Nayna turned the shower to as hot as she could handle, then stepped in. It was halfway through, as the heat burned away the last of the alcohol fumes that she began to remember. Eyes huge, she slid open the shower door, and yelled out, “Did I call Raj last night and tell him I wanted to lick his abs? And that I was going to have sex dreams about him?”

  Given the hysterical laughter that came from the direction of Ísa’s kitchen area, the answer was a resounding yes. Dear God. Ducking back into the shower as her face flamed, Nayna quickly finished washing up. Ísa had thrown in her overnight bag in the interim, so after stepping out of the shower and drying off, she brushed her teeth using the toothbrush she’d bought yesterday. Technically, she thought, overnight bag wasn’t the right term.

  It was more a “running away from home” bag.

  After slapping on some moisturizer from the hastily assembled bag of toiletries, she put away the bottle, then dug through to find clothes. Panties, bra, jeans, T-shirt, socks, and she was done. She stuffed her heels in one corner of the bag.

  Taking it to near the front door, she saw Ísa had found her trainers. She left the bag beside the shoes, brought over her laptop bag and purse from where she’d left them in the lounge the previous night, then joined Ísa at the breakfast counter. Her friend pushed a bowl of porridge toward her. Made Aji’s way. And with brown sugar on top. “You’re the best,” she told her friend. “My abused stomach thanks you.”

  When her phone beeped, she figured it must be a text from her mother reminding her of her second cousin’s son’s fourth birthday party—which she was supposed to attend tonight. If she hadn’t intended to run away, she’d most definitely have worked late. She loved children, but that four-year-old was a horror. Last time Nayna had been around him, he’d purposefully spit orange juice on her dress while his mother looked on indulgently.

  However, it wasn’t Shilpa Sharma who’d messaged her. The name on the screen was Raj and the attached image was of his abs with the caption: Ready to be licked.

  Groaning, she dropped her head to the counter and banged it twice while Ísa grabbed her phone—and began to laugh so hard she nearly fell off her stool.

  “Why didn’t you stop me?” Nayna said. “Isn’t that in the friend code?”

  “I was drunk,” Ísa pointed out, gray-green eyes dancing. “And man, he does have nice abs!”

  “You can lick your gardener’s abs. Gimme back mine.” She’d swiped the phone into her hand before she realized what she’d said.

  Mine.

  “Hey,” she blurted out in an attempt to distract herself and her clever best friend, “you never told me about cactus love.”

  “Eat your porridge.” Ísa shoved a big spoonful into her own mouth.

  Nayna didn’t think she was hungry, but she got to the bottom of her bowl. After which she drank a huge cup of black coffee, and then the two of them rushed out the door. Thankfully traffic was light this early in the morning, and Ísa was able to drop her off right in front of the domestic terminal.

  Nayna gave her friend a quick hug, grabbed her bag, and said, “Remember, cone of silence.” She intended to text both her family and Raj just as she was about to board, let them know she was fine and that she was taking off for a few days. Nayna would never leave them to fear for her safety—she’d experienced that awful sensation herself when Madhuri left; to inflict it on another human being was beyond her.

  However, she’d be keeping all details of her intended destination to herself.

  Forget about the FBI or the CIA, Nayna’s father was part of the CIF aka Concerned Indian Fathers unit. One hint of where she was headed and he’d contact the cousin of someone’s uncle’s brother’s wife’s auntie who happened to have a little convenience shop in the nearby town, or it would be a friend of a friend’s brother-in-law’s daughter who happened to be working the desk at the place where she planned to stay.

  And there went her privacy.

  Having already checked in on her phone, the first thing she did inside the terminal was go stand in line at the nearest coffee station and get a large flat white. Then she found a seat, glanced at the clock, and began to type a message to her mother.

  She was only halfway through when she received a photo that made her lower body clench. Oh, Raj was having far too much fun with this. But she still couldn’t help saving the photo, especially since she could see his bed-tumbled hair, his face wearing that slow, sexy grin that undid her.

  After pushing Send on the message to her mother, she’d risen to join the boarding line when another incoming message made her want to moan.

  Another picture of Raj’s abs—this time with the tongue emoji added on.

  When Ísa rang right after, she confesse
d all to her laughing friend. Afterward, she sent Raj a reply: I’m going out of town for a few days. Talk when I get back.

  She put the phone into airplane mode immediately afterward.

  She couldn’t talk to anyone, especially not to the man who made her want to forget everything and just be with him; she needed time alone to decide.

  On the rest of her life.

  * * *

  Raj scowled down at his phone. He’d just had a call from a Sharma girl. Too bad it was the wrong Sharma girl. Madhuri had tracked him down after Shilpa Sharma called her and told her that Nayna had run away. Not surprisingly, everyone’s first thought was that Nayna had run away with Raj.

  Now he rang Nayna’s mother directly. “She told me she was going away for a few days. Your daughter is very responsible and intelligent. She’ll be fine.” It wasn’t Nayna’s safety that worried him but the thoughts tumbling around in that smart brain.

  His heart had been beating hard and rough ever since he’d gotten that message and realized she was distancing herself from him. He couldn’t use their physical connection to hold on to her if she’d deliberately traveled far from him. And fuck, that hurt like a kick to the gut.

  “She told me she was going away to have some time alone to think!” Shilpa Sharma said. “Why can’t she think at home? We have a perfectly good bedroom for her.”

  A sudden bustle of noise, the voice next on the line a male one. “Raj? What’s this nonsense?” Gaurav Sharma demanded. “You’re supposed to be her fiancé. Why can’t you control her?”

  Raj’s hand tightened on the phone. “You need to let her have this,” he said past his own violent need to see her, hold her. “Nayna is feeling trapped by the idea of marriage. She hasn’t had much choice in her life, and now she’s being railroaded into marriage.” It hurt Raj to say that, to admit that she might decide he wasn’t the husband she wanted.

  A hesitation in the older man’s voice when he said, “Do you think she’s gone overseas?”