by Sybil Smith
Vera chuckles and starts picking smaller ones from the branches Evelyn can't reach. "Actually, yes it was. Ma likes to bring us all out here the day after Thanksgiving to pick apples that no one else wanted," she swats at a gnat before continuing, "Whoever picks the best one gets the first apple pie she makes. And that's something you do not want to miss out on, trust me. The first one is always the best."
Evelyn begins picking up nearly whole ones from the ground. "Does that rule apply if no one else is here?"
"Absolutely," she stands up as the apples threaten to spill off the top of the pile. "Ma said so herself. She'd rather be Black Friday shopping instead of fighting gnats, anyway. Davis and Darren are still holed up at home in a food coma, too. So the first one is all yours— fair and square, babe."
Vera's face instantly snaps up to meet Evelyn's widened eyes. "I didn't…oh, wow. That's not, uh…that's not what I meant to say."
Laughter bubbles out of Evelyn's lips. A frazzled Vera Banks is not something she can say she's ever seen before. It's something she wouldn't mind seeing again, either.
Eventually, Vera starts laughing with her. "Let's just forget I ever said that, alright? I'd never hear the end of it."
"I'm not so sure I can forget about that…babe."
Vera's face instantly starts turning red again. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
"Most likely not. But," she averts her eyes and looks down at the ground, "I can't say that I hated it."
Vera smirks and says nothing. She can't exactly say that she hated it how easily it rolled over her tongue, either. They walk until they're in front of a few wooden crates. Dark orange, green, and almost white pumpkins are the only things left inside them. It doesn't matter though. Clara can make the best pumpkin bread out of any kind that gets set in front of her.
Vera looks to Evelyn. "Which one should we get?"
* * *
"Mama," Tristan says as his small hands grip the edges of the cardboard crate. "You need a white pumpkin."
The crisp autumn wind blows through his hair, and she can tell it's already started to thin. He definitely should've worn a hat today.
"I do?"
"Mhmm." He exaggeratedly nods. "Just like Cinderella."
Surprised that he actually remembered the movie—they had started watching it during one of his chemotherapy treatments. She crouches down eye level with him and gently pokes his stomach, causing him to giggle. "And why do you think I'm like Cinderella?"
Both of his hands tangle in the ends of her hair—his go-to source of comfort—and he tilts his head in a way that almost identically matches hers. "Well…you like shoes. Do you like glass shoes?"
She laughs and shakes her head. "No. I can't say that I do."
"Oh," his face slightly falls as he averts his eyes. Less than a second later, the smile is back on his face. "But you're pretty like Cinderella!"
Her son is going to grow up to be such a charmer. She smiles and pats down some of his wayward hair. "Thank you. Anything else?"
His lips press together and he slightly frowns as he thinks. It's not long before he's smiling widely. This is going to be good, she can tell.
He shifts his weight from foot to foot and tries to look serious. "You've got a Prince Charming like Cinderella, too."
Her eyes get wide and she pretends to look around. "I do? Where?"
"Me!" He throws his arms up in the air before falling against her and wrapping his arms around her neck.
She pulls him up on her hip as she stands. His weight is comforting against him, though she can tell he's lost weight. She lightly pokes his nose. "Silly me. I should've known."
He presses his hands against her face and pushes her cheeks up and down as he speaks. "Mama, you need to get your pumpkin so we can carve it before it gets too late!" He pauses and leans into her face, conspiratorially. "Unless I get to stay up past my bedtime…"
She laughs and drops him back on the ground so he can pick one out. He ends up pointing to the biggest, whitest pumpkin he can find.
It was going to be fun trying to carry that back to the car.
* * *
She smiles at Vera before looking down in the crate. There's one in the corner—white, large, and almost identical in shape to the one Tristan had picked out for her.
Vera playfully groans. "The biggest one, Evelyn? Really?"
"I do tend to prefer them to be large, yes."
Vera's mouth falls open.
It only takes a few moments before Evelyn starts to blush. "Pumpkins. I prefer larger pumpkins..." She bites her lip and scrunches up her nose. "You're not going to let me live this down either, are you?"
Laughing, Vera shakes her head. "Not a chance, babe. Not a chance."
Chapter 11
Evelyn clutches tighter to Vera's hand as she gets pulled through the massive throng of people crowded down the sides of the street. Every so often, Vera looks over at her shoulder to make sure she's okay until they finally find an opening in the front of the line to stand in. Almost as soon as they get in their spot, sirens blare from somewhere out of sight. Perplexed, Evelyn looks around trying to spot them.
Vera smiles as she watches. She didn't tell Evelyn where they were going, for good reason. Most adults without children would probably find this lame. But Evelyn…she loved doing these things with Tristan. Maybe she’ll love doing it now too. Vera squeezes Evelyn's hand as a police car slowly comes into view.
"I know it's not Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade or anything," Vera gives a bashful shrug, "but it's a start, right?"
It takes a few moments for Evelyn to piece everything together, but a full-dimpled smile emerges when she finally realizes that Vera brought her to an early Christmas parade. "Thank you,” she says. “I mean it.”
They watch as the police cars slowly move by and the fire engines toss out small chocolates to children holding bags to gather the candy from the floats. Evelyn laughs when Vera takes a step back as the clowns start to walk and ride by in tiny cars.
"I didn't know you were afraid of clowns," she says with a teasing grin.
Vera's eyebrow shoots up and she gasps. "I'm not afraid!"
A clown walks up and sticks his hand out towards her to shake, but her eyes widen and she steps closer to Evelyn until he walks away.
Evelyn cocks a brow. "You were saying?"
"I'm not afraid…I just have a very strong dislike." She holds her finger up at Evelyn's grin. "There's a difference."
"Whatever you say," she teases.
Massive Clydesdales stride by with tinsel braided through their manes and wreaths loosely hanging around their necks. One decides to relieve itself directly in front of them and Vera scrunches up her nose. "I always wanted a horse."
"You did?" Evelyn looks at her. “I didn’t peg you for the type.”
Vera puts on a serious face and nods. "Oh, yeah. I was going to name him Bananas and let him live under my bed. Maybe even ride him to school if the weather was nice."
She squeezes Vera's hand just a little tighter and wistfully smiles. "Tristan always wanted a horse. He said," she lightly laughs, "He said he wanted to grow up to be a cowboy so he could 'round up' the bad guys." She turns to look at Vera, eyes no longer watering just from the cold air. "He would've liked you so much, Vera. You're…you're the epitome of who he wanted to become. Kind, smart, brave… heroic. He would've loved you."
Vera swallows thickly. She steps behind Evelyn, wrapping her arms around her waist and placing her chin on Evelyn's shoulder. "I'm sure I would've loved him, too."
"Why do you think that?” Evelyn asks.
It's not accusatory, not harsh. Simply an inquiry. She genuinely wants to know how Vera could possibly be sure that she'd love someone she's never spoken with. Part of her also wants to simply hear someone talk about Tristan the way she does. She misses him so, so much—it’s wonderful to have someone willing to talk so freely about him.
Vera slowly starts swaying them side-to-side. "He
sounds a whole lot like you. That means I would've loved him, too."
Evelyn's breath hitches. Did Vera just imply that she loved her?
No, surely not.
She mentally chides herself. This is definitely not the time to get caught up in thinking about something that may not even be there. They’ve barely stepped out of friend territory. Love surely hasn’t popped into the equation yet.
She shivers—not sure if it's from the icy Philadelphia air or her emotions—and Vera's arms instinctively wrap tighter around her.
Vera's warm breath as she laughs tickles her ear. "Look, that's where I went to church."
Evelyn watches as a float covered in children dressed as angels slowly moves by them. "Were you one?"
Vera laughs even harder. "An angel? No way. I was Joseph."
Evelyn begins to laugh. "You were Joseph?"
Vera rolls her eyes. "Darren was sick, alright? Hey—don't laugh! I was a very good Joseph."
Evelyn imagines a tiny version of Vera with a beard attached to her face. What a sight that would've been.
The little angels throw out tiny candy canes and one lands at their feet. Vera bends down to pick it up before resuming her previous position. She holds it up in front of them and breaks it into the stick and the curve.
"Which one do you want?"
Evelyn slips the straight piece out of her fingers and starts to slightly unwrap it. Vera laughs and takes the hooked part. "You would take the easiest piece to eat, wouldn't you?"
Evelyn shrugs and pulls the piece from her mouth. "I didn't know you were into sucking things, Vera." She holds it over her shoulder to Vera. "Would you like to trade?"
Vera's mouth drops open and her eyebrows shoot up. There was no way that wasn't on purpose. She pops the hooked piece between her teeth and Evelyn watches closely enough to see Vera's tongue toying with the inside of the hook. She pulls the whole thing in her mouth and smirks. "No, you're right. I like this part better."
Speechless, the only thing Evelyn can do is turn back around. Vera smirks and leans against Evelyn's back again—except this time she shoves her bare hands in Evelyn's coat pockets. It’s cold in Philly—very cold compared to just a few days before—and she's surprised they've even lasted outside this long.
She watches Evelyn twirl the candy cane around between her puckered lips. It's far too arousing than something like that should be. She sighs and rests her chin back on Evelyn's shoulder. Their cheeks accidentally brush and she feels how cold Evelyn's are compared to hers.
Hands still in the coat pockets, she pulls Evelyn tighter against her. "You ready to go? I've got some coffee at home. Or hot chocolate. Whichever you prefer."
Evelyn's eyes flutter as Vera's damp, warm breath flits against her cheek. "Marshmallows?"
"Do the ones already in the packets count?"
Evelyn laughs and turns her face to Vera. "Yes, those count. I'm ready to go if you are."
Somehow, she even makes a conversation about hot chocolate sounds seductive. Vera pulls back as she feels a light pink blush creep up her cheeks. Thankfully, they're already red enough from the cold to hide it. She laces her free hand in Evelyn's and slowly leads them back to the car.
They finally pull up outside of Vera's apartment only slightly warmer than before. The heat hardly works in her old car. She’s been meaning to get it fixed for months now, but it doesn’t look like she can put it off too much longer. They hop out of the car, feet crunching on freshly fallen snow. Instead of making her way inside, Evelyn stops to watch some teenagers across the street throwing snowballs.
Vera looks between Evelyn and the kids and then does a crooked grin. "Let me guess…you've never had a snowball fight before?"
By the time Tristan was actually old enough to enjoy the snow, he was much too sick to go outside in such extreme temperatures. There were so many things she wished he could've done, could've seen. This was definitely one of them.
She shakes her head. "No."
Vera mischievously smiles. "It's not hard, you just have to…" She bends down to gather snow in her bare hands. "…pack it together like—oh, sssshit!"
She yelps as thrown snow comes into contact with her skin. Ice cold water slowly melts away and rolls down her skin underneath her coat.
Evelyn definitely has to pay for that.
Vera tosses the snow in the vicinity of Evelyn's hair before running towards the side of the apartment where there’s a higher covering of slow. She's almost to the corner of the complex when she stumbles on some ice and lurches forward. Right when she's about to regain balance, Evelyn's arms wrap around to catch her—effectively knocking them both to the ground.
Evelyn, from her cushy spot on Vera's stomach, rubs her gloved-fingers across Vera's face as she searches for any scrapes. "Are you alright?"
Vera relishes in the warmth and comfort of her the other woman on top of her. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
Evelyn licks her lips. Vera's gaze bores into blue eyes. She’s never seen anything so beautiful or wanted anyone so badly.
Breathing each other’s air, hot breath lapping against each others faces—it's enough to effectively cause them to forget about the ice cold world around them.
Evelyn brings one hand up to touch Vera's on her cheek. "I'm certain friends don't do this." Her eyes scan Vera's face for a contradiction, but finds none. "We won't be able to pretend like it's nothing out of the ordinary this time."
"I know," Vera nods, voice breaking.
Evelyn swallows thickly. "Are you sure? Are you sure you want someone like me?"
"Yes," she answers immediately.
The pure honesty in Vera's eyes astounds her. "I'm scared," she manages to whisper.
Vera brushes her thumbs across her cheeks. "Me too."
"I don't want to mess this up and to lose you. You’re my best friend."
Vera smiles and frames Evelyn’s face in her hands."You won't."
"But," anguish is clear in her voice, "how do you know that? How do you know?"
Vera's emotions force her to look away from blue eyes. Her whole body pulses in anticipation. They’ve been playing this game for months now. Dodging emotions and catching feelings. But the only way to win this game is to quit.
She looks back to Evelyn and briefly bites her lip. "Because, I...I guess I kind of love you."
Evelyn inhales sharply. "You…do?”
A surge of confidence runs through Vera as she sees Evelyn's lack of it. "I love you. I'm in love with you. And I want you to let me love you enough to ease some of your pain…I want to love you enough that one day you'll be able to see what I see in you. You're not broken. You are amazing and smart and beautiful and worthy of being loved."
She pulls one hand from Evelyn's cheek to brush away a strand of blonde hair from her face. "It's no joke how much I love you, Evelyn Truby. I know I haven't known you very long, but," her cheeks turn pinker with slight embarrassment, "I already know I couldn't live without you. That's how I know you'll never lose me."
No one but Tristan has ever said they loved her and meant it. No one had ever said they'd been in love with her and meant it. She's too shocked, too thrown off to over analyze her emotions or the potentially negative outcomes.
She can think about that later.
So for now, her heart gets to lead.
Evelyn closes the small gap between them and tentatively presses her lips against Vera's. It's been so long since she's done this. And even longer since she's done this with someone she's cared about. It's terrifying.
But she doesn't want to stop.
She slightly opens her mouth and Vera follows, clearly letting Evelyn decide what she's ready to do. Her chest tightens at how that one tiny gesture makes her feel so immeasurably loved.
Her tongue presses into Vera's mouth—such a contrast to the cold air blowing around them—and Vera quickly reciprocates. Her fingers wind in Vera's hair as she gets more sure of herself, more comfortable with doing this.
V
era sits up and Evelyn stays straddling her lap—their kiss never breaking. She pushes one hand against Evelyn's back to pull her closer and the other cradles the nape of her neck. Evelyn lightly sucks at her lower lip and she can't help the moan from escaping her lips. She's waited for this for so long.
Vera groans louder when she does it again. Evelyn’s heartbeat spikes and threatens to drown out all other noises. It's like her edges—the boundaries of her body—are slipping away and she's melding, molding into Vera. Being filled and completely by something she didn't even know she was missing.
It's like nothing she's ever experienced.
She doesn't know she's crying until Vera pulls back and starts wiping the tears from her face.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Evelyn gives her a watery smile. "No. You did everything so perfectly right." She reaches up to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm crying."
Relieved, Vera gives her one more quick kiss. "It's okay to cry as long as they're happy tears."
“They are,” she admits, smiling fully. "Very good tears."
Vera gently squeezes her thighs. "C'mon, let's go in. My ass is frozen solid."
Evelyn shifts so she can stand, "I believe you promised me hot chocolate anyway."
"With pre-packaged marshmallows," Vera says with a wag of her eyebrows.
Evelyn laces their hands together as they start to walk back inside and smirks. "With pre-packaged marshmallows."
Chapter 12
She stands and saunters into the kitchen to lean against the counter as Evelyn zips up a second bag.
"You do realize it's ten degrees outside, right? I don't think we'll need a cooler."
"Not only are you incorrect about the temperature," she playfully grins and hands Vera both of the bags, "but these also aren't just for keeping things cold. They're insulated—meaning they can also keep things warm."
Vera gasps. "Really? I didn't know that. Please, tell me more."
Evelyn pinches Vera's side. "I suppose we could stay here and discuss this if you'd like. But that just means," she leans up and briefly kisses Vera before barely pulling back, "you won't get to see what I have planned for you."
