I settled at a large oak and let the sun warm my face as I thought about my dad’s words of advice. I didn’t know the truth about my own decisions that brought me back to Earth all the time. Why would I leave Home and come back here? Were my lives with Landon that terrible? No. I knew that answer because I had the memories of our pasts. I also had all the visions between us. We were as much in love as anyone could ever hope to be, if not more. Our love had spanned lifetimes and continued to grow. So much of our love made him powerful enough that he never forgot me, no matter how many times he was re-born.
So why did I leave him behind? I only punished him and forced him to look for me again.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Lillith said, landing beside me. I didn’t even jump from her intrusion. I was actually happy to see her. Her timing couldn’t have been better.
“Why are you always here?” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“Come on, Lillith, why is it? Are you spying on me?” I picked up one of her loose red feathers and twirled it. They were so soft and downy, and I couldn’t help but miss Ianni with them.
“I am watching Landon. He is over at the lake, feeding the ducks,” she said with a laugh. It seemed like such an elderly thing to do. A single man who sits and feeds wildlife.
“I think he likes to sit in peace. He is so confused lately,” Lillith admitted.
“Why?” I asked.
“His life is like a jigsaw puzzle, and because his memory was shaved, he is missing too many of his pieces. He isn’t complete and he doesn’t understand why.” Wow, it was such a good analogy that I could almost relate. Although, I still had my memories.
Too many puzzle pieces was my problem. So many that they didn’t have any place to fit in.
“Do you think he will ever remember?” I asked her as I searched the lake for him.
“I don’t know, to be honest.” She seemed so melancholy today. Not the same spunky Lillith that we all knew and hated. Finally I spotted him, throwing the rest of his bread in the water. He stood up and left.
“Do you think he might someday remember a little bit?” I asked Lillith but she was gone. I looked down at my buzzing phone; Dallas was finally calling.
“Careful with that box! It’s fragile,” I told Dallas as he helped me move the stuff I needed. I was moving in with him today. Ianni had already moved in two days prior and was settling in nicely. I had a harder time leaving behind my place. It wouldn’t be the same watching the sunrise; I wouldn’t be seeing it over the bay. I would be seeing it rise over the forest. It would already be high in the sky by the time I saw it. The trees would block my true view.
“Is this the last box?” Dallas asked as he balanced it on his hip. I nodded and grabbed the box. It was goodbye for now, but not forever. I would be back, this I somehow knew in my heart. I closed the door behind me and followed Dallas down the stairs.
We put the last of the boxes in the truck and he opened my door for me. I jumped up in the passenger side and he climbed up. He gently kissed me on the cheek. “This will all be okay, I promise.”
“Such a thing to promise,” I blurted out. He looked at me quizzically for a moment then shut the door on me. Rounding the truck, he got in on his side and we drove off in silence.
“What did you mean by that?” Dallas asked as we pulled into his driveway. It had been a quiet drive here since I had pretty much shut down. I didn’t feel like moving in with him was the right thing to do. But when you do something and regret it right away, how do you take it back? How would I say that I didn’t want to move in without hurting him? I had already told him I would. I could feel myself turning from a strong, independent woman to the meek and mild Avery I had started out as when I first met him. I thought when you fell in love you grew stronger in your relationship, not weaker.
“What I meant was you can’t promise that she won’t come after me. You couldn’t promise that Dedrick wouldn’t.” I opened the door and got out. Ianni met me in the driveway and helped me unpack my things.
Once we were upstairs she gave me a hug. I hadn’t realized how much I had needed it from her. I knew she only moved in here for me. If she would’ve thought of herself she would still be back at the apartment, spending quality time with Beau.
“It’s going to work out the best it can. You can’t take it all out on him,” she whispered. She was right. It wasn’t Dallas’ fault that I was in this situation, but I was taking it out on him.
“I know, but I don’t see how she is going to just leave me alone now.”
“She won’t until John takes care of her. I saw him last night,” she told me with a huge smile.
“Where?”
“He came here,” she began. “He is watching you and he said it’s for the best that we are all together. Especially if she is after all of us. He can better protect us if we are all in one spot.”
“I can’t tell you how much better I feel now,” I admitted. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. Knowing John was here somewhere watching was a relief.
She left me alone so I could unpack my clothes. I pulled out my bridesmaid’s dress and placed it in the closet carefully. Next weekend was the wedding. I had a busy week ahead of me as I filled the role of Maid of Honor. I had to make sure the flowers were ready on the day of the wedding. I also had to keep the bride cool, calm, and beautiful. I heard the door open and I turned to see Dallas behind me. He held a glass of iced tea. A peace offering, perhaps?
“Avery, I know it’s strange to you, but I will try my best to make you feel at home,” he said as he handed it to me.
“Dallas, it’s not that staying here is strange. It’s being scared out of my own home by an evil darkness. I just want a normal life, I suppose.”
He caressed my shoulder and I leaned into him. He was solid, as he always was, but for some odd reason he didn’t feel the same as he always had. He had felt like my future, but now it was like he was drifting away from me. I couldn’t stop it. Again, like so many times before, I felt like we were coming apart at the seams.
We held onto each other for so long that night, grasping onto what we had within each other. Holding on for dear life to our relationship. While his trip to New York hung between us like an axe, ready to cut the tie that bound us together.
So much pressure can be put onto a couple. Would we succumb to it or push through?
The next morning I walked downstairs and left Dallas asleep in bed. I found everything I needed in the kitchen and made breakfast for the house. I did need to go shopping though. How these men lived in a house with such a bare fridge was beyond me. Once it was done I yelled upstairs, “Breakfast!” I set the table and poured the grapefruit juice into my cup. The only one to join me at the table was Landon. His hair was neatly brushed back and his face clean-shaven. He smelled like the salty sea air at the beach. I moved uncomfortably in my chair.
“Good morning, roomie,” he said as he dove into the breakfast. “Nice job, taste’s good.”
“Thanks. Where is everyone else?” I looked to the stairs, but no one came down.
“Sleeping. Dallas sleeps late. Didn’t you know that? I’m the early riser here and Ianni is also a late sleeper I learned. That girl can sleep.”
I did know that she liked to sleep, but I felt stupid that I made breakfast for everyone and only he came down.
“Whatcha’ got going on today?” he asked as he practically licked the plate clean.
“I have to go to the flower shop and check on Kerri’s flowers,” I answered. He jumped up and put saran wrap on the other plates. When I finished up he took my plate and washed it. I watched him wash the dishes and clean up my mess. He was so tidy, like me. It was odd to see your twin soul like this. I recognized the similarities.
Finishing, he dried his hands on a towel then said, “Okay I’m ready.”
“Sorry, ready for what?” I asked lamely.
“
To go look at flowers. You have at least another three hours before those sleepy heads get up,” he grabbed his shoes. “And I will drive you to the florist.”
I was dumbstruck. He didn’t really ask, instead he just invited himself. As annoying as that was, it was sort of cute at the same time.
“Okay, let me get my shoes.” I ran upstairs and threw on some sandals. I walked over to Dallas’ sleepy head and kissed it. He didn’t even stir.
Chapter Nineteen
Stargazers
Landon’s driving was reckless and wild, but it thrilled me to be in such a fast car. He did handle it quite well. He liked to have fun; that was apparent. While I was with him I felt like a kid again. He helped me to see the not so serious side of life.
“So what kind of flowers are we getting?” he asked as he took off at the green light with high speed. I looked out the window to see kids on the street setting off for school, all of them pointing at his fast car. I giggled. I was the cool girl in the hot car, with the hot guy.
“We aren’t getting them. Not today. I just have to check on the order,” I answered. I couldn’t expect him to understand the duties of being a Maid of Honor. Heck, I didn’t even know what it meant. All I knew was when Kerri needed something she called me.
“Okay, so then where to after flowers?” It shocked me that he wanted to spend the day driving me around. I didn’t really need to go anywhere else, but there was one spot I wanted to go with him.
“I think you should take me somewhere you like to go,” I said shyly. I was hoping he would get the hint. I wanted to see the ducks he fed.
He smirked. “Okay then.” We arrived at the florist and he held the door open for me. I walked in and the scent of lilies overpowered the shop. Landon walked around like he was really interested in the flowers. Maybe he was.
“Hi, how can I help you?” a short woman asked me. I asked her to check on the order and she found Kerri’s list. All of the flowers were in fact ready to go for the weekend. I thanked the woman and we left.
Landon opened the door for me to his car. “Thanks, where to now?” I asked him. He smiled mischievously as he closed the door behind me.
Not long after, we pulled into the entrance for a state park. It wasn’t what I was hoping for, but I could not complain. The state park was beautiful. I was sort of hoping he would take me to feed the ducks. I thought that if he let me in on his life it would help him be happier.
“Welcome to the Humboldt Redwoods State Park, my favorite part of this whole state,” he said as he opened my door for me. I had hiked up here many times before, but it had been a few years. I was not exactly opposed to seeing anything stunning today; in fact, I welcomed it. We started out on a footpath near the road, and as we walked further in, we started to become engrossed in the redwoods. They surrounded us on all sides and the ferns tangled around our feet. The dark mud caked around my shoes but I didn’t mind. The walk was worth it; to be surrounded by the avenue of the giants. It was engrossing and I applauded Landon on his excellent choice. “Thank you.” He bowed. “I wanted to bring you somewhere I thought you needed to be.”
“You thought I needed it how?” I asked as we continued to walk on.
“I can see the struggles you and Dallas are facing. I am not blind. Trust me, I get the other end of it.” My cheeks flamed red with embarrassment. He knew Dallas and I were fighting. “Want my take on it all?” he asked.
I nodded and pushed on into the woods.
“He loves you so much that he doesn’t know how to balance you and his career. You see, he loves his new job, but not as much as he loves you.” He paused to tie his shoelace before looking me in the eyes. “You’re not someone he wants to lose, but he can’t help screwing up every once in a while.”
“I don’t need to be told that he loves me, I need to see it,” I answered. I didn’t feel too comfortable talking about this with Landon, but I think he wanted to help us both. His love for us as a couple was apparent, but his love for his cousin blinded him to the mistakes Dallas made.
“He’s trying. Dallas has been really good at putting Band-Aids on things. That’s what the trip was, really.”
“The trip was a Band-Aid? For what?”
“The colossal mess of Valentine’s Day. He thought he could win you back with the trip, but things didn’t work out so well.” That was the truth. I laughed at his admission. He laughed along with me until we found ourselves surrounded by some of the most massive giant redwoods I have ever seen. My feet squished into the mud. I wished then that I had worn sneakers instead of sandals.
“There’s a river around here somewhere,” Landon said as he kept walking. We came out to a small, quiet river that glimmered in the sunlight. He pulled off his shoes and rolled up his pants.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked him.
“Baking a cake. What does it look like I’m doing?” He jumped into the river, splashing me. I started to run in the other direction, not wanting to get wet today. He came over and scooped me up before throwing me into the cold water. I screamed so loud it echoed through the trees and back again.
“Landon!” I hit him hard on the shoulder and he pushed me down into the water. I fell right on my butt. He lost his balance and fell next to me. I laughed my ass off at his clumsy mistake. So much for being the jokester.
I laid my head back and gave into the water. I was soaked already so there was no sense fighting it. I opened my eyes and he leaned over me, watching me in awe. His blue eyes held mine and wouldn’t let go. He fell next to me into the water. His hand grazed mine. Without even realizing it, I clasped onto his. He wiggled his fingers and entwined them with mine. Now we were both floating, side-by-side, holding hands.
I could see him with me but my vision was beginning to blur. He was there and then he would fade. I felt myself breathing, but I struggled to take each breath. The cancer had won its battle with my body. Now I was paying the dire consequences. I thought about my life with Adam. He was ever faithful and patient with me, even after the cancer started to take over his wife.
“Our father who art in Heaven,” Adam began his prayer. I listened to the rhythm of his voice. I tried to focus on only that, but I couldn’t see him anymore. I could only see a bright light above my bed. My eyes felt heavy and I tried to fight them. Stay open!
“Amen,” he finished. “Elsie, let go baby. Don’t fight it anymore. I will see you again. I love you.”
The white light spread over me with the warmth of sunshine. I didn’t feel my breath; I didn’t even feel the pain. I was now comfortable. I was dead.
“Come this way, Elsie.” I opened my eyes to see a woman with wings holding her arms out to me. She stood in my doorway with bright white wings, her arms open, wanting me to join her. So I did.
“You are all right now, Elsie. You will come Home,” she said as she held me, cradling me in her arms as if I was a child. I let go and allowed her to carry me Home.
He broke the grasp on my hand first. I pulled away and swam to shore, feeling foolish for holding onto him like that. It was surprisingly intimate. Especially the vision that came with it. I fought hard to not see the angel’s face. I didn’t want to remember what it felt like to die. I had seen my Deliverer. She was the angel who brought you home and now I had her face etched in my mind, along with the ease of death.
“I am sorry,” Landon spoke. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” I looked at him and he was ringing out his shirt. I diverted my gaze towards the tree line, ignoring his shirtless body.
“No, why do you ask?” If I acted like I was clueless to what happened. Maybe it would be nothing.
“No reason.” Good, it seemed to have worked. I pulled my short hair into my hands and squeezed. Then I started walking back towards the car. He followed behind me, staying quiet the whole time. Once we reached the car he opened the door for me.
“I can get my own door, Landon,” I said harshly.
“I know, I am just being a gentleman,�
�� he responded. As I sat down I saw a Stargazer Lily on the seat. I picked it up and looked it over. He eyed me and gave me a quick smile. “I got it to cheer you up.”
“Thanks,” I said. I didn’t even see him buy it for me. “Did you steal this?”
“Of course not! While you were talking to the flower girl, I bought it.” He shook his head like he was shocked I would ask such a thing. I smelled the flower, memorizing its sweet smell. I loved Stargazer Lilies. They were so unique, just like Landon and I were.
I held it the whole drive home, smelling its perfume as it filled the car. Landon and I stayed quiet. I was too embarrassed to talk now. While he may have thought that holding hands was not a big deal, it was to me. I shouldn’t have let myself let go like that with him. I had done it once before and it almost cost me Dallas. Maybe being around him wasn’t safe at all.
Chapter Twenty
Bliss
The day of the wedding the stress almost made Kerri implode. We had pulled her outside three separate times to make her get some fresh air. She was freaking out about everything, from hair and makeup, to things she couldn’t control. I tried to tell her that if the photographer is ten minutes late, it’s not a big deal. She didn’t want to hear it. The girl was being a major diva … but it was her special day. What she says goes and we were all on the ride with her. So Ianni, Astrid, and I held on tightly.
“Avery, where are my pearl earrings?” she asked me as I was strapping on my shoes. I had no clue where they were.
“I’ll look for them,” I said with a reassuring smile. I forgot my shoe and started to search through the mess that surrounded her bedroom. I found them in a blue box and handed them to Ianni.
“Ugh, I don’t ever want to get married,” she whispered. I giggled and went back to my shoes. Once I was done I checked the time, noticing that we had one hour until the wedding started. I stepped outside to call Dallas. He was in New York with Sarah, his chef. He had gotten there last night and we talked briefly. We talked long enough for me to know that he and Sarah were not rooming together, which made me one happy girl. I had been avoiding Landon like the plague. Although he was not home all week, he was sleeping at some girl’s house. I didn’t ask any questions. I just heard Dallas talking to him on the phone. It made me mad, but I fought the jealousy monster about it daily. He wasn’t mine. I had to keep thinking that way.
Unraveling of Avery Snow, The Page 11
