by Penelope Sky
Why did I have the worst taste in men? “I’m going to take a bath.”
“Alright. I’ll have dinner ready in a few hours.”
I had no appetite, but I knew I had to eat. I stepped away.
Case grabbed my arm and pulled me close. He cradled me into his chest and rubbed my back, his chin resting on my head. “He doesn’t want to be there for you, but I do. You’ll never be alone in this. Dirk and I will be the best uncles a kid could ask for.”
I closed my eyes and felt the tears form under my lids. “I know…”
“I love you, sorella.”
I could barely get the words out. “I love you too…”
21
Cassini
Two months had come and gone, and now I was moving in to my own apartment. I’d saved a lot of money over the years because Case and Dirk continued to pay me my share of the profits from the pasta business.
As a result, I could afford to buy a nice two-bedroom apartment in Florence. It was at the top of the building and in a nice area, just a short walk to the pasta factory where I would work every day.
Dirk carried my boxes into the apartment while Case put together the crib. I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl, so I hadn’t painted the walls just yet. All I had were the essentials like diapers, bottles, and onesies.
Case completed the crib then tested the integrity by giving a tug on the railing. “It’s finished.”
“It looks great.” I stood over the crib with my hand on my stomach, imagining my baby lying there in a few months. The baby probably wouldn’t use the crib right away. I was certain I would be one of those moms who liked to have the baby right beside me every single night.
Case gripped the edge with both hands and sighed under his breath.
I knew what was coming next.
“I don’t like this.” He turned to me, his green eyes full of disappointment. “I don’t like you being here by yourself, let alone with a baby. Stay with me. The house has plenty of space.”
It was sweet that he wanted to take care of me, especially when he had his own life to live. “Case, I can’t live with you forever.”
“I understand that. But at least for the first year or two. Taking care of a baby by yourself will be impossible.”
“Mothers have been doing it since the dawn of time.” I patted his arm.
“With a husband,” he countered. “You’re completely alone.”
I wished Balto were doing this with me even though he probably knew nothing about children. He was the only person I wanted. No one else. But he wasn’t part of my life anymore. He wasn’t part of my existence at all. We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since that terrible conversation in his apartment. “If I need help, I’ll call you.”
“It would be easier if I were there all the time—”
“Case, you have your own life. You didn’t sign up for this.”
“So?” he demanded. “You’re my family. Family is all that matters.”
“And we’re still family while I live here. Having a baby around is going to completely disrupt your life. It’ll cry every night, it’ll be messy, and it’ll stink. How are you going to bring women home with a screaming baby in the way?”
He shrugged. “At least she won’t try to sleep over.”
I rolled my eyes. “Case, I’m fine. It’s so sweet that you want me to stay—”
“I really do want you to stay.” He looked at me with desperation in his eyes. “You can’t do this alone—”
“I can do this alone. Give me more credit, Case.”
“It’s not that I think you’re incompetent. It’s just going to be so difficult to handle on your own. Parenting is meant to happen with two parents. And even with two parents, it’s still hard—”
“I’ve survived worse. I can do this.”
He finally shut his mouth.
“If I need help, I’ll ask. I promise.”
He gave a slight nod. “You’re always welcome to come back if you change your mind.”
“I know.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for building the crib. My back isn’t the same with this stomach.”
He eyed my belly. “You’re definitely showing now.”
My stomach was distended and large, and since the rest of my body was still petite, it made me look even more pregnant. I looked like I was eight months along rather than five. “Yeah, everyone wants to touch my stomach when I go to the grocery store…and the bank. It’s weird.” I would love to feel Balto’s large hand against my stomach, for him to feel the life he put inside me.
I needed to forget that dream. It would never happen.
“That is weird.” He grabbed the thin mattress and placed it in the bottom, along with the sheets and pillow. “Have any names picked out?”
“I haven’t even considered it.”
“You’ve got time. When will the doctor tell you what the sex is?”
“She can tell me anytime. I just haven’t wanted to know.”
“Really?” he asked. “Why not?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I guess I’m just not ready to deal with that. When I know the sex, I’ll start to think about how I’ll raise them…and it’ll just feel more real.”
“Why don’t you want it to feel real?”
“Right now, it’s just about preparing. Picking out baby clothes and setting up the crib. But once the baby is here, everything will be different. I’ll live my life completely for another person. Nothing will ever be the same.”
“Yeah…it’s a big responsibility. It’s normal to be scared.”
“I’m not scared. I just…know everything will be different.”
I worked at the dining table and handled the accounting so Case could work on other things. Now that I was so large, it was difficult for me to stand on my feet all day. My knees hurt, and my lower back was strained.
Case came out of the kitchen and headed right toward me. “Balto is here.”
I did a double take. “He is?”
“He just walked in. If you don’t want to see him, I suggest you hide. You have less than a minute.”
The last thing I wanted was for him to see me. He’d take one look at my belly and know I was pregnant. And he would probably assume it was his. That would introduce a conversation I didn’t want to have. I ditched the chair and went through the door that led into the hallway.
A second later, I heard his voice, deep and powerful. The second he entered the room, his presence filled every corner. His shadow extended over everything and everyone. “Case.”
Case couldn’t mask his hatred. It was obvious in just his tone. “I’ve got your money.” He made some movements then set the heavy bag on the dining table on top of the invoices. “It’s all there.”
I expected to hear Balto’s footsteps as he walked away.
But he stayed still.
“You want to count it?” Case asked, being a smartass as always. My brother was one of the few people I knew who wasn’t afraid to stand up to Balto. He’d always been that way, even before he knew I was involved with him.
“I saved your life…in case you’ve forgotten.” As always, Balto hinted at threats without actually making them.
“And you hurt my sister…in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Trust me,” Balto answered. “I haven’t forgotten.”
There was an enormous period of silence. Neither of the men moved. They probably stared at each other, the testosterone rising in the room like heat to the ceiling.
“Is she here?” Balto asked.
“No.” Case blurted out the lie and seemed convincing.
“She told me she gets a cut of this place. I assumed this was where she would work.”
“You asked if she was here, not if she worked here.” Case continued to let his hatred be known. “And it’s really none of your business where she works. I don’t see why you care anyway. All you care about is money—and there’s a big bag of it right there. Get
the fuck out.”
Just listening to this conversation made me uneasy. I imagined the two strong men standing tall and proud. With equal pride, they stared each other down.
Balto spoke again. “How is she?”
“She’s great. Never better.”
Balto was quiet again. “Is she seeing anyone?”
Case didn’t answer. “Get out. I’m done with this conversation.”
“I just want to know if she’s okay—”
“And that’s none of your concern, Balto. You dumped her, so she’s not your problem.”
“I didn’t dump her—”
“Call it what you want. She’s doing great without you. It took a while for her to get there, but she made it. Whether she’s seeing someone or not, she’s in a good place. From now on, we only discuss money. So take your tax and get out of my face.”
Balto grabbed the bag, then his footsteps sounded as he walked out. They grew fainter and fainter until he was gone.
I waited another moment before I returned to the main room. My brother stood next to the table, his arms crossed over his chest. He stared at the hallway where Balto had just disappeared, as if he expected him to reappear any moment.
I slowly came to his side.
“It seems like he’s having second thoughts.”
“Or maybe he just feels guilty.” Balto was a bigger asshole than Lucian ever was.
“I think he was hoping to see you.”
He saw me when I came to his apartment, and he didn’t care at all.
“Asking if you’re seeing someone…seems like he’s jealous.”
“Well, I’m not seeing anyone but a pint of ice cream at night, so there’s nothing to be jealous of.”
He turned to me. “He came here for money, but all he wanted to talk about was you. For a man who doesn’t care, it seems like he cares a lot. It seems like he misses you.”
He didn’t miss me. And I didn’t miss him.
I’d have to make sure to avoid him until I had the baby. He could never know about my pregnancy. It would make everything complicated if he did. I didn’t want him bothering me out of obligation, only in case he wanted to be there.
But that ship had sailed.
22
Balto
Denise brought another drink.
Heath tried to shoo her away. “He’s had enough, Denise.”
“No, he hasn’t.” I snatched the drink from her hand and let the liquid drip down my throat.
She walked away, not caring if I had too much to drink or not. She wouldn’t question me.
When I set the glass down, Heath took it away. “I’m cutting you off.”
“No one cuts me off.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” He swirled my drink before he downed the rest of it, like consuming it himself would ensure I couldn’t get my hands on more liquor. “I’ve never seen you drink like this.”
“I drink like this all the time.”
“Well, you’ve raised the bar.”
My vision was slightly blurry, and I had a hard time focusing my thoughts. “I’m exactly the same. You’re exaggerating.”
“You aren’t exactly the same. Your eyes are fading.” He continued to study me, like he could see other signs of my drunkenness. “I should get you home before the other guys notice. They’ve never seen you drunk. Don’t want tonight to be the first time.”
“I’m not drunk. I don’t get drunk.”
He pulled out his phone and held it so I could see the screen. “Cooperate with me, or I’ll call Cassini.”
I slowly turned to him, provoked by the threat. “And say what?”
“Everything you don’t want me to say.” He continued to hold the phone. “Now, get your ass up and come with me. Call my bluff, and you’ll regret it.”
I sighed to myself and rubbed the migraine at my temple. Alcohol usually stopped my headaches, so I’d obviously drunk too much. Even though my thoughts were cloudy, I knew I had overdone it. I knew I’d been drinking too much every single day. I’d always been a heavy drinker, but these new habits were destroying my liver even more. “Alright. Put your phone away.”
He placed his phone in his pocket. “Let’s go.”
He drove me home then rose in the elevator to my floor. The doors opened, and we both stepped inside.
“I’m worried about you.”
I kicked off my boots then moved to the couch, barely able to stand because the room was spinning. I did my best to pretend everything was normal, that I could stand on my own two feet. “Your worry is unnecessary.”
“Is it?” He came toward me, his hands resting in his pockets. “Cassini has been gone over three months, and in that amount of time, you’ve slipped further and further into this black hole. I’ve known you my entire life, witnessed every dark period in your life, but this tops the list.”
Alcohol usually helped me not think about Cassini, but right now, it made me think about her harder, with more emotion. The longing was powerful, and I felt stranded without her. I would have thought that three months would be long enough for me to forget about her.
I think I loved her even more.
Heath kept staring at me. “How many women have you slept with?”
I shrugged. “Too many to count…”
He shook his head slightly. “None.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about—”
“And you don’t lie, so why are you lying now?”
My gaze turned to the floor, the shame moving through my veins.
“Cut the bullshit and make this right. Get her back. I can’t believe you’ve let this go on so long.”
Even if I wanted her, I couldn’t have her. So much time had passed that she was probably with someone else. “I saw Case last week. I asked about her…he said she was doing well. I asked if she was seeing someone, and he refused to answer.”
“Who cares if she’s seeing someone or not? Never stopped you before.”
“Heath…I was such an asshole to her.”
“You’re always an asshole. She’s used to it.”
I shook my head. “This was different.”
“And she still loves you. I know she does.”
I lifted my gaze to look at his. “Why do you think that?”
“Because when she thought you were going to die, she was a complete mess. She wouldn’t stop sobbing. And she was ready to bash my head in if I got in the way of her rescue plan.”
“That was months ago…”
“Doesn’t matter. People don’t risk their lives like that unless it’s real. Grow some balls, and get your woman back.”
I rose to my feet, doing my best to stand upright. “I can’t. Nothing has changed.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re the Skull King, and you’re miserable. Fucking miserable.”
“The job doesn’t make me miserable—”
“But not having her does. I think the decision is pretty clear. You can live without the Skull Kings…but you can’t live without her.”
23
Cassini
“Case, I’m not going on a date.” I sat at the table with him across from me. He was eating lunch while I took care of the accounting. As my pregnancy had progressed, my appetite had changed. There were only certain things I was willing to eat, and unfortunately, pasta was something the baby didn’t want.
“Why not? Alessandro has always had a thing for you.”
“And I’m sure my pregnant belly is a big turn-on,” I said sarcastically.
“I told him, and he doesn’t care.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“The only thing he cared about was if you had a man in your life. I told him the father of your baby didn’t want to be part of your kid’s life, so he’s gone.”
Alessandro was a good-looking guy. He was my brother’s age, and I’d met him a few times. I’d always found him attractive, but I was never single when he was single. “Even so, it’s too soon for me
to be dating.”
“Too soon?” he asked incredulously. “It’s been three months.”
“Yeah, but—”
“A month would have been long enough. Balto is a fucking asshole. Don’t wait around for him.”
“I’m not waiting for anything. I just don’t think it’s fair to Alessandro. Maybe Balto isn’t around anymore, but I still think about him. How is that fair?”
“Everyone is always hooked on someone at any given time. I’m sure Alessandro is still sleeping with someone until he finds the next best thing. That’s how the real world works. Stop making excuses.”
“I’m not making excuses—”
“It sounds like it.”
“I’m going to have a baby in a few months. I’ll be too busy to date someone.”
“Not true. Uncle Case and Uncle Dirk can babysit anytime. You need to put yourself out there and find a good man.”
“Why is this so important to you?”
He sighed before he answered. “If you won’t live with me, then I want you to end up with someone. I want someone to take care of you. I hate Balto, but when you were with him, it was a relief. I knew he could take care of you. I knew he would protect you. But he’s not around anymore.”
“Case, that’s sweet, but I don’t need a man to take care of me.”
“Not true.” He shook his head. “Balto always kept you safe—and that was one of the reasons you loved him.”
That was true. I couldn’t stand it when he left at night. And if it weren’t for him, I would have died as Lucian’s wife. I never would have known freedom. “There’s only one Balto…and no other guy will compare.”
Case was going to argue more, but my phone rang.
I looked at the screen and noticed Heath’s name. “I’ve got to take this…” I took the call. “Heath? Everything alright?” I hadn’t spoken to Heath since before Balto dumped me. He wouldn’t call me for a chat. He would only call me if something were wrong.
