by Penelope Sky
Case dropped his pen and stared at me, obviously tense that the phone call was taking place.
“It’s been a while, huh?” he asked. “How are you?”
“Fine…what about you?”
“Eh. I’ve been better. Worried about Balto.”
“Why are you worried about him?”
“Because he’s a loose cannon. He’s been drinking too much. And for Balto, that means he’s drinking a lot. He should get a blood test and see how his liver is doing.”
“And you’re telling me this why…?”
“Cassini, you know why. He’s doing all of this because of you.”
When he’d come to the factory last week, he’d questioned Case about me. It seemed like he cared. He was much softer than he was when he yelled at me in his apartment. “I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”
“He’s miserable without you.”
If only that were true. “I think you’re misreading him.”
“Trust me, I’m not.”
“No, trust me,” I said. “You are.”
“If I’m wrong, why hasn’t he slept with anyone in three months?”
The idea of him sleeping alone lifted a weight from my chest. Every time I pictured him with someone else, I felt sick to my stomach. It made me want to cry a million tears. “Maybe it seems that way from the outside, but—”
“I’m with him all the time. We hit the bars together almost every night, and he always goes home alone. He gets plenty of offers, but he turns them down each and every time. The guy is a walking zombie. I’ve never seen him hit rock bottom like this.”
Even if everything Heath said was true, there was nothing I could do. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because I was hoping you would talk to him.”
“That’s never going to happen.” I’d told him I loved him even when he dumped me. Then I’d tried to tell him I was pregnant, but all he wanted to do was remind me how much of an asshole he was.
“Because you’re over him? I don’t believe that.”
“No. I went to his place a few months ago to talk, but he threw me out. If he really wants to be with me again, he needs to be a man and fight for me. He needs to get on his knees and beg me to take him back. And even then, I’m not sure I would.”
“He hurt you pretty bad, huh?”
“He killed me, Heath. You have no idea.” Growing his child inside me every single day just made me miss him more. Regardless of how much I hated him now, I would always love him because he was the father of my child.
“Yeah…I know.”
“So, don’t call me and tell me how much he’s suffering. If he wants me back, he needs to do it himself.”
“He didn’t ask me to make this phone call, Cassini. He has no idea I called you. I just wanted you to know that the man is falling apart. Instead of getting better as the breakup goes on, he’s getting worse. He’s not fucking anyone. He prefers to drink and hide away in his apartment. He’s still doing his job with the Skull Kings, but his heart isn’t in it anymore. I don’t understand why he’s being so stubborn, but he continues to lie to himself.”
“Yes…he’s the most stubborn man I’ve ever met.”
He sighed into the phone. “You know, I remember when you’d only been living with him a few weeks and we were in the gym together. I told him that he loved you, that it was written all over his face. He wouldn’t admit it to me, but he wouldn’t deny it either. That was a long time ago, long before you fell in love with him. I don’t know why he struggles to be open about his feelings. He’s the most fearless man in the world, unafraid of anything. But when it comes to this…he doesn’t get it. He’s afraid to give his heart to someone. He’s afraid to sacrifice his lifestyle for someone else. I don’t understand it.”
“Because he’s too proud. He cares more about his reputation. He wants his life to be what it was.”
“Well, that’s never going to happen,” Heath said. “Too much has changed.”
“And yet…he still hasn’t come after me.”
He turned quiet.
“And I don’t think he will, Heath. He was so vicious to me the last time I saw him. Maybe turning me away killed him, but that didn’t matter. He believes in his principles too much, which is fine. But I’m not going to wait around for him to make up his mind. I have a date tonight, actually.”
“You do?” he blurted. “I didn’t realize you were seeing people.”
“Well, this is my first date. He’s a friend of my brother’s. We’ve known each other for a few years.”
“Oh…”
“I’m sorry, Heath. I loved Balto with my whole heart. I told him even when he didn’t say it back. I risked my life to save his because I couldn’t live without him. I can’t count the number of times I asked him to reconsider. Then I went to his house with my heart on my sleeve, and he stabbed me in the gut. It’s time for me to move on.”
“Yeah…I get it.”
“And don’t expect me to feel bad for him. This is happening because of him, and whatever pain he feels, I feel it a million times worse.”
“Nervous?” Case drove me to the restaurant even though it was walking distance. We left the pasta factory and drove through the narrow streets.
I wore a pink sundress with a jean jacket, my long hair curled and down my shoulders. It was obvious I was pregnant, but my jacket hid most of my belly from view. I wore nude pumps, ready to enjoy the warm springtime. “A little. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date…like a normal date.” Having dinner with Balto that one time didn’t exactly qualify because of the shootout.
“Alessandro knows this is your first date in a long time, so he’ll keep it light. I laid out my ground rules.”
“What kind of ground rules?”
“I told him not to kiss you or try to sleep with you. Only a handshake is permitted.”
I rolled my eyes. “If I don’t want to kiss him or sleep with him, I can just tell him that myself.”
He pulled up to the curb in front of the restaurant. “Or I can do the dirty work for you. Now, have fun.”
I got out of the car and approached the patio where the tables were. A short white wall surrounded the area, allowing a view from the street. I spotted him sitting there, wearing a collared shirt and dark jeans. He had dark hair, a thick shadow across his jawline, and he had deep brown eyes that resembled espresso. He was lean and fit and obviously handsome. It surprised me that he would date a pregnant woman when he could have anyone he wanted. “Hey, Alessandro.”
He smiled when he saw me and rose to his feet. “You look beautiful.” Just as he promised my brother, he greeted me with an awkward handshake. “I would hug you, but Case said that was out of bounds. I hope a boring and stiff handshake is good enough.”
I chuckled. “It’s a little excessive, but since he’s probably watching us, let’s just go with it.”
He smiled then pulled out my chair for me.
It was a gentlemanly move I hadn’t expected since I’d never been with a gentleman. Evan, Lucian, and Balto never did those things.
He sat across from me, still smiling. “Pregnancy definitely suits you. You know that glow everyone always talks about? You have it.”
“Aw, thank you.” I smiled and grabbed my menu. “Other than the morning sickness and back pain, it’s been pretty wonderful.”
“How far along are you?”
“Five months now…approaching six.”
“So, the baby will be here soon. Are you ready?”
I chuckled. “I don’t think any first-time parent is ready. And I’m definitely not ready for labor. I wish they could just put me under and then take the baby out.”
He chuckled. “You and every other woman in the world.”
“So, enough about me. What’s new with you?” It was surprising that Alessandro didn’t care about my pregnancy, but it was even more surprising that he wanted to hear about it. I thought it would be smart t
o change the subject.
“Work is the same,” he said. “I still live here in town. The most interesting thing going on in my life is Case telling me that you’re available. I’ve had a thing for you since…” He shook his head slightly. “Since I laid eyes on you. So I’m really happy to be here, to sit across from you and see that you’re still just as beautiful as I remember.”
Speechless, I just stared at him, surprised that a man could be so affectionate and sweet. He wanted me so much that he didn’t care I was knocked up by someone else. He didn’t care about my crazy story. Nothing seemed to matter at all. Meanwhile, the man I loved was too stubborn that we’d spent the last three months apart. I was pregnant with his baby and alone, and if he dropped his bullshit, he would actually see that.
And if he didn’t drop his bullshit soon, he would be too late.
He might already be too late.
24
Balto
I finished my workout and showered. I’d laid off on the liquor for the last few days because I was starting to feel sick, sick enough that I couldn’t perform if something really serious happened to the Skull Kings. I felt better after the detox, but I also felt lost without booze.
I sat on the couch in my sweatpants, vaguely remembering the last conversation I’d had with Heath.
It seemed like all we ever talked about was Cassini.
I couldn’t recall what I’d said to him.
The elevator beeped before the doors opened. Heath stepped into my apartment in jeans and a t-shirt. He stared at me on the couch as he came closer, wearing that look of pity on his face.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you think I’m pathetic.”
“Well, I do think you’re pathetic.”
I raised an eyebrow. “There’s a gun under my table. You want me to grab it?”
“Depends. Are you sober enough to shoot straight?”
“Fuck you.”
He chuckled. “You’re actually sober. Can’t remember the last time that happened.”
“Neither can I.” I’d kill for a drink in my hand.
“I’m glad you laid off.”
“It was interrupting my work.”
Heath looked disappointed. “And that’s all that matters to you?”
“I’m not a very good king if I’m too drunk to kill.”
“I’m guessing you don’t remember our last conversations.”
“Just bits and pieces…”
He lowered himself to the coffee table and took a seat across from me. “I called Cassini today.”
My eyes narrowed on his face, betrayed that he’d crossed the line. “You did what?”
“You heard what I said. I called her and told her you’re a mess.”
I gripped my skull then dragged my hands down my face. “You cunt.”
Heath ignored the insult. “She said she didn’t care if you were hurting. You hurt her so much that anything you feel, she feels a million times worse. She’s not waiting around for you.”
That didn’t surprise me.
“So, it’s now or never. You need to do something or lose her forever.”
“She said that?” I asked, surprised she would give an ultimatum.
“No. But she’s going on a date tonight.”
His words sank deep into my skin until they hit my bloodstream. The pain circulated until it reached my heart, and that’s when I felt the unbearable agony. Shards of glass pierced all my organs so I couldn’t breathe. All the muscles in my body tightened in preparation for that battle that wouldn’t take place. I couldn’t sleep with anyone because I was still in love with one woman. The idea of her sleeping in some guy’s bed tonight didn’t just make me jealous. It made me insane. She wasn’t mine to claim, but I didn’t want anyone else to have her.
My brother continued to stare. “You alright, man?”
I said nothing, my jaw clenched so tight, my teeth hurt.
“I’ll take that as a no…”
I rose to my feet, unable to sit still because the adrenaline was too strong. “Who is he?”
“I don’t know. He’s a friend of her brother’s.”
So, Case set her up. And that meant he approved of the guy. He was probably a good-looking guy with a good job, a guy who would treat her right. So, if she liked him, it could actually go somewhere. “Name?”
“I don’t know.”
I paced the length of the living room. “Where are they going?”
“Again, I don’t know.”
I marched down the hallway, changed my clothes, and then returned. I grabbed my phone and keys.
Heath rose to his feet. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Stopping this.”
“Whoa, hold on.” He blocked my path to the elevator. “I didn’t tell you that so you could march down there like a caveman and ruin her date. Don’t be an asshole. You said you didn’t want her, so she moved on.”
I slammed my fist into my chest. “She’s my woman.”
“She was your woman. You dumped her, remember?”
“I didn’t dump her—”
“That’s not how she described it. Balto, leave the girl alone. Unless you’re going to finally get your shit together and be what she wants, don’t interfere. I know you’re an asshole, but if you sabotage every date she ever has just because you don’t like it, you’ll be lower than dirt. I won’t even like you.”
I moved around him and got into the elevator. “That’s fine. I don’t like me either.”
Finding her was easy because of the chip I’d implanted in her ankle. I narrowed down her location to the outdoor patio of a French bistro.
It was a short drive away, less than ten minutes. The entire way, I imagined what I would say to her. When I saw her sitting across from some guy, would I immediately punch him in the face? Would that just piss her off?
Then what would I do?
What would I say to her?
Even if I wanted to give her everything she asked for, was ruining her date the best way to go about it?
It really did make me an asshole.
I didn’t want her to sleep with him. I didn’t want another man to be inside her. I could text her and tell her not to go through with it, but again, that made me such an asshole. And she might sleep with him just to spite me.
I was worked up because I still loved this woman, loved her more in her absence than her presence, but I wasn’t thinking clearly at the moment. I was pumped up on adrenaline and rage. This was a really stupid idea.
I pulled over to the curb across the street from the restaurant. The rage blurred my vision, and I struggled to think clearly. So many pent-up emotions ripped me apart. I’d turned into a hungry bear that couldn’t think about anything else besides killing something.
I should just leave.
But I couldn’t resist a look.
I stared at the tables outside, blanketed in the spring sunlight. There were a few other couples sitting there, but the place was mostly empty. My eyes landed on the back of her figure. Her long hair was down her back, curled the way I liked. Her jean jacket was over the back of the chair, and she wore a pink summer dress and heels.
But what struck me most was the way her dress fit her.
She was pregnant.
My entire body stiffened as I stared at her, unable to process what I was looking at. That couldn’t be her. There was no way she could be pregnant without telling me. She was so far along that it had to be mine.
She wouldn’t do that, would she?
But the better explanation was that it wasn’t her. I could only see the back of her head.
She rose to her feet and excused herself to go inside, probably to use the restroom.
That’s when I saw her face.
It was her.
And her stomach was huge. There was no doubt she had a baby growing inside her. It wasn’t just some weight she’d put on after our breakup. In the rest
of her physique, she actually looked thinner. Her face was more slender, her neck more delicate.
When she walked inside, her date stared at her ass. He watched her go until she disappeared from view. Then he pulled out his phone and appeared to be flipping through his newsfeed. With dark hair and eyes, he was a good-looking guy. He had classic Italian features and a strong jaw, and he was the kind of guy that could get pussy easily.
This was worse than I thought.
Cassini returned a moment later, her hand on her stomach as she sat down.
This guy was so into her that he didn’t even care that she was pregnant.
Because she was fucking perfect.
And I threw her away.
Before I knew what I was doing, I got out of the truck and slammed the door. My eyes didn’t even scan the street before I crossed the road, unafraid of any traffic. My eyes were locked on the woman who had been mine for months. Her stomach was enormous, and that could only mean one thing.
I was the father—and she didn’t fucking tell me.
I was pissed off, hurt, and psychotic all at the same time.
All I could see was red.
This wouldn’t end well, but that didn’t stop me from storming up to their table.
Her date saw me first because he was facing me. He was smart enough to sense the danger, so he stood up and immediately went to Cassini, as if he could somehow protect her from me.
I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him back hard, making him trip on the concrete and fall backward.
Cassini jumped to her feet and grabbed the knife sitting on the table. She gripped it the right away for an attack before she looked at me. Her eyes flashed in recognition, and she slowly lowered the knife. “What are you—”
“You’re pregnant. You’re pregnant, and you didn’t fucking tell me.” Now that our eyes were locked on each other, I was even more irrational. This woman was so damn beautiful that it made me even angrier. Her body had changed so much, but knowing I did that to her made me want her more. “What the fuck, Cassini?” I could feel the vein in my forehead throb with my rage. I felt so betrayed, so idiotic. This entire time, I’d wasted time drinking my sorrows away while she grew our baby inside her. And she didn’t tell me.
