Ben & Matilda- Infinite Promise

by Tania De Melo

  “How old were you?”

  “Twenty-three.” Quinn shrugs. “She was so excited to be helping me, that I didn't want to break her spirit and tell her the talk was redundant.”

  “Oh my god. I would have been mortified.”

  Quinn lets out a laugh. “You’d have to know my nan. I was actually more curious to find out about the look on the nurse’s face when my eighty-five-year-old grandmother was asking for information on how to...well, you know.”

  I let out a laugh, just as both of our phone’s sound.

  “Looks like it’s back to work.” Quinn stands and looks to me. “Listen, get through the rest of the day. On our way home, we’ll grab a bottle of red, and order some of that four-cheese manicotti from that little Italian restaurant down the street that you love. You can vent, cry, and just leave all your troubles on the living room sofa.”

  I stand and walk over to Quinn wrapping my arm around his waist in a side hug. “Carbs and leggy libations—you know me so well.”

  He chuckles, leaving a soft kiss to the top of my head. “I’ve got you, At.”

  ***

  Sitting in my bedroom, inhibitions lowered, thank you to the two bottles of wine my roommate was generously pouring out, I call Ben again.

  ‘Hi, you’ve reached Ben Adair. I’m unable to take your call right now—.”

  Ahh, voicemail, voicemail, voicemail. Answer the damn phone, Ben.

  Quinn pops his head around the corner. “Did you try calling him again?”

  “Why can’t he just answer my calls? We need to talk this out.”

  “Ati, maybe he just needs some more time.”

  I look to Quinn with heavy eyes. “I need to talk to him. I can’t let what happened last time happen again. I just walked away eight years ago, and that was it. I lost him. I can’t lose him again, Quinn.”

  He moves into my room, sitting beside me on the bed. “Look at me.” My eyes tilt up to meet his, then he continues. “You are not going to lose him, At. He is far too in love with you for that to happen.”

  “That’s what I thought the last time.”

  Quinn’s fingers take hold of my chin. “And he did. He loved you so much that he never stopped. Ati, I promise, it’s going to be fine, just give him a little more time. The male ego is a fragile thing.”

  I let out a soft chuckle. “Apparently.”

  He stands, looking down at me. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s a new day.”

  Quinn walks out of the room, turning off the light, and all I can do is lay there counting down the minutes. Tomorrow was a new day, and Ben Adair was going to talk to me whether he liked it or not.

  ***

  When I pulled up in my sister’s driveway, I was ready to hit this thing with Ben head-on. No more dodging the issue. We needed to talk this out. It’s early, but I wanted to make sure that I caught him at home before he left to work.

  I head toward the garage apartment, seeing the living room light on. “Good, he’s still home.” I make my way through the back but freeze instantly when a figure steps in front of the window. A female. Dressed in a long t-shirt and hair wrapped in a towel like she just got out of the shower. Then Ben appears behind her, a smile on his face, handing her a coffee. My heart drops, my breathing erratic. I’m having a panic attack. Deep breaths, Ati. I move a little closer, and the tears well up in my eyes. It’s Alex. Not wanting to witness anymore, I turn to head back to my car. At this point, I don’t even want to go inside to see my sister. I just want to get away. I need to get away. The thoughts in my head are racing at a million miles a minute, yet the only one that keeps repeating is the one that reminds me that I knew it was too good to be true. I was never meant to have a happily ever after; that’s just not my life—it never has been.

  Chapter Twenty

  -Ben-

  When I walk out of the kitchen, two coffee mugs in hand, Alex is standing by the window, having just got out of the shower. For a moment, a vision of Ati flashes before me. My chest tightens. I miss her, but the fact of what I know still plays heavy on my mind. She lied to me or at least failed to mention that she and Brock had slept together. She did it intentionally because she knows how I feel about him, and to me, an omission is just as bad as outright lying.

  “Coffee?”

  Alex turns to me as I hand her the mug. Taking it from me, she brings it to her lips. “This is wonderful. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for all yours and your brothers help yesterday.”

  “No problem, that’s what we do around here. Everyone helps everyone. Now, at least your house is all packed, and the moving truck should be there sometime between eleven and noon to load everything up and deliver it all to the new house.”

  A smile effortlessly crosses her face. “My parents are going to be blown away. I told them that it was going to be another month before the house could close, so they think they are coming back to the old one having to pack it up and wait.”

  I let out a laugh. “It will definitely be a surprise.” I look out the window and see a white SUV pull away. For a moment, I thought it was Ati’s car, but I know she’s in Gary. I give my head a slight shake and look back to Alex. “I’m going to get ready for work. Gwen text me while you were in the shower and mentioned that she’s got breakfast ready.”

  “She didn’t have to do that,” Alex says.

  “Trust me, she wanted to. She loves that kind of thing. Whenever you’re ready just head down.”

  Offering a smile, she replies, “You all have been so great, and thanks for letting me crash here, Ben.”

  “Anytime.”

  When I enter the shower, I can hear the door to the apartment close as Alex heads down to the main house. Yesterday when Gwen had mentioned that Alex needed help packing up and taking some more delicate items to the new house, my brothers and I all volunteered to help. It was the perfect distraction from thinking about Ati. That’s all I have been doing since the barbeque, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get.

  I reach for my phone, and there’s a missed call from just a minute ago. It’s another from Ati. She’s been calling and texting, and I’ve been avoiding. I’m still too angry to talk to her. I don’t want something to come out that I will regret.

  I can’t help but think, Brock? Really? Out of all the guys she could have chosen from, she chose him. The one guy that I can’t stand. Sure, the rest of my family seems to love him. Thea forgave him a long time ago. Hell, Bane, and she made him Asher’s godfather, which I mean, I guess it’s great that Thea was able to move on from what happened. And I can’t ignore the fact that Brock was instrumental in arranging the whole adoption of their son. But with Ati, it’s different. I see the way he looks at her. It’s almost like she holds a greater value for him. Like there’s a bond there, and it pisses me off.

  I step into the shower and welcome the hot spray of water running down my back. Thank God I have a busy day today. I’m fully aware that eventually, I have to talk to her, and we have to deal with this. But just not right now; right now, I need the distraction.

  ***

  When I pull up on the job site where the trailer is parked, there’s a silver GranTurismo convertible parked in front. “I don’t remember having any meetings scheduled this morning.”

  I park my truck and walk toward the trailer. When I reach the step, the door to the Maserati opens, and my mood shifts from okay to angry in a split second.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Brock closes the door to his car and walks toward me. “We need to talk.”

  “Nothing to talk about.”

  “I disagree. You seem to have a problem with me, and before I head back to Florida, I want to clear the air,” he says.

  “Nothing to clear, so, like I said, there’s nothing to talk about,” I seethe through my teeth before I turn to head up the steps to the door.

  “She’s struggling to keep it together at work, and she doesn’t stop crying when she’s home. If you don’t want to talk t
o me, then at least have the decency to return her calls.”

  I turn to Brock. “What happens between Ati and me is none of your business.”

  He takes a couple of steps closer. “I made it my business when one of my closest friends...my family, called me crying at two in the morning. Ati’s completely heartbroken. She thinks her actions from eight years ago are going to end the relationship with the man she’s in love with.”

  “She told you that?”

  Brock lets out a breath. “Not in so many words, mostly she just sits on the other end and cries when she calls. I think it just helps her to know that someone is there.”

  “What hold do you have over her?” I ask.

  Brock lets out a laugh. “Ben, man, there’s no hold. She’s my friend. The connection we have is purely that. You’re the one bringing up the past. A past, might I add, that is nothing like what you think.”

  “So, you’re telling me that you never once thought of Ati as more than a friend? You were never attracted to her?”

  Brock’s smile broadens. “You’ve seen her, of course, I was attracted to her. What warm-blooded man wouldn’t be—Ati’s a goddess. But that, for me, changed a long time ago. Probably right after the night we slept together, and I realized that I was never going to be the one she really wanted to be with. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ati, but that night, I realized I was never going to be able to love her in that way…she would never let me.” He inhales deeply. “Look, Ben, you’re right, what happens with the two of you is between you and Ati, but can I offer a piece of advice?” I give him a nod, and he continues, “If you love her the way she loves you, then don’t let this go on too long. Talk to her before it’s too late.”

  Brock turns heading back to his car, looking to me one last time and offering a nod before he gets in and drives away.

  I let out a breath and make my way into the trailer, taking a seat behind my desk. Am I actually going to consider the advice of Brock Alderson? I mean, I know I can’t avoid this forever, and maybe I am playing this out a little too long? But I don’t like being lied to.

  There’s a knock at the door, and Jake enters. “Hey boss, there’s an issue at site four. I’d go over, but I'm still dealing with the gravel trucks.”

  Perfect, just the distraction I need. “I’ll handle it, Jake. Heading over now.”

  “Thanks.” Jake heads out, and I grab my keys and hardhat, thankful that I don’t have to figure anything out about the Ati situation just yet.

  ***

  The day was busy, with no time for anything else other than work. But, now that I’m at home, the conversation with Brock earlier this morning starts to playback in my head.

  Do I call her?

  What do I say?

  I’m still hung up on the fact that she slept with him...him of all people, and on top of that, was keeping it from me.

  A text from Gwen comes up on my screen. ‘Dinner in the microwave when you’re hungry.’

  Food—I can think about it over food.

  I head down to the main house, entering the kitchen through the back door. Gwen is at the sink, cleaning up.

  “Hey,” she greets. “I didn’t know if you would be down here right away, so I put a plate together for you and put it in the microwave.”

  I walk over, giving her a soft kiss on the top of the head. “You’re the best.”

  She turns to me as I reach for the plate. “Yeah, you may not think so after I come down on you for making my little sister cry.”

  A sigh escapes my lips. “She told you?”

  “No, I heard it from Ginny, who heard it from your mom, who heard it from Thea, who heard it from Grace. I was a little put out that she didn’t come to me first. But, in her defense, I think she’s afraid to say anything to me about you and her, in fear that I’ll give her the whole ‘I told you so speech.’”

  I rest my plate on the counter and look to Gwen. “What do you mean, ‘I told you so speech?’”

  Gwen finishes and turns to me. “I think she still has it in her head that I, in some way, still object to the two of you being together.”

  “Do you?” I ask bluntly, but Gwen just looks to me with a pursed-lip and no reply. “Okay. Wow. But you’re okay with her hooking up with Brock?”

  “What!” Gwen shrieks, causing Sawyer to flinch from in his bouncy chair.

  “I’m guessing they left that part out when they all told you that I made Ati cry.”

  Gwen gathers her thoughts then shrugs. “You know how it works, it’s kind of like the telephone game. The news tends to get filtered the more people it goes through. And before you say anything else, no, I don’t object to you and Ati…it’s more so the timing. But she’s an adult, and I guess at some point I need to let her make her own decisions.”

  I let out a huff. “Where were your helicopter parenting tendencies when she decided to run off to California and experiment sexually?”

  Gwen looks to me with a dead stare. “Okay, I think that’s a little on the inflated side—it’s not like she was sleeping around. And if she did sleep with Brock in some sort of experimental need, if I know my sister at all, it’s probably because she felt he was safe.”

  “Do you think I’m overreacting about it?”

  Gwen walks over to Sawyer, soothing him with his pacifier. “I don’t know. I think the question you need to ask yourself is, why does it bother you so much? I mean, it’s not like you haven’t been with other women. And I’m sure you didn’t expect her to still be waiting for you after eight years.”

  I say nothing in response, and Gwen lets out a chuckle. “You can’t be serious. Ben, you had to know that she wasn’t going to wait around for you to pop her cherry.”

  “Jesus, Gwen, do you have to be so crude?”

  She raises her brow. “Oh, I’m sorry, does, take her v-card play better on your delicate ears?”

  I shake my head. “Liam has corrupted you.”

  “I heard my name. What did I do now?” My brother says as he enters the kitchen.

  Gwen waves him off. “Apparently, I’ve offended your little brother.”

  Liam walks to where Gwen is standing with the baby and wraps an arm around her waist. “Do not blame me for her lack of filter—that’s all Kai. Have you heard some of the stuff that comes out of Gin’s mouth?” Liam shakes his head. “Bad influence those two are.”

  Gwen turns back to me. “Look, I promised myself and Liam a long time ago that I was no longer going to intrude in my sister’s life. That I would only be a shoulder to cry on and lend an ear. She hasn’t come to me, Ben, so to be honest, I don’t know where she’s at. My advice, though, you need to sort this out face to face, not over the phone.”

  “I guess you’re right. Maybe I’ll head down there.”

  Liam lifts Sawyer from his bouncy seat and turns to me before heading off. “Not tonight. When I was over at Thea and Bane’s, I heard her mention that Brock had chartered a plane to his cabin in Washington near Mount Rainier. From the way Thea made it sound, he was planning on taking Ati away for a while.”

  I freeze at Liam’s words. I was actually starting to think Brock was really trying to help me out, but really, he was just looking for the perfect time to move in.

  “I’m done. I’m just done. If this is what she wants, then she can have it, because I sure as hell won’t be standing in her way.”

  I turn to walk off, but Gwen grabs my arm. “You don’t know what’s going on. Ben, don’t go off running worst-case scenarios in your head, you’ll make things worse. For all you know, he’s taking her to get away from things for a while. In her defense, from what Gin told me, you’ve been kind of an ass about the whole thing.”

  “How is it that the tables are completely flipped here, making me out to be the bad guy?” I’m starting to get angry, and Gwen knows it, but if I know her, she won’t back down.

  “Ben, I’m not pointing fingers here, but the way I see it, it’s that you are the one in the wrong here. So wha
t if she slept with Brock—grow up and get over it. If you don’t man up and admit your responsibility in this mess, he won’t be the only man other than you that she will be sleeping with. I’m tired, Ben. I have six boys that I am raising, all of them surely to bring me an equal amount of worry and frustration as my sister has. But I will tell you this, if you don’t fix this, I will make it my personal mission to make your life a living hell if you break her heart again. Ben, I won’t let her go through what she did the last time you decided to pull this shit.”

  I’m just about to say my piece when Liam steps in. “Ben, I think it’s best we step away from this. You're frustrated, and so is Gwen.”

  I shake my head and look to Gwen. “You don’t get it; none of you ever did. I didn’t choose to let Ati go because I thought things could be better without her, or that the grass was greener on the other side. I let her go, because every time I was with her, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. She was a rising star. The possibilities you saw for her, I saw them too, and it scared me. It scared me that I might be the one that kept her from achieving them. So, I let her go. Then she came back, and I thought it was a sign, I was sure of it. But then there he was, right there in all his perfect glory. The man of the hour. Dr. Brock Alderson. He’s everything she needs.”

  The thwack of a hand flying across my face catches me off guard, and when I regain composure, I see Gwen standing there seething.

  “Don’t you ever talk yourself down like that. You are every bit a man as any of your brothers and Brock. Did you ever think that Ati has no interest in the kind of man that has to offer the things that Brock does? Did it ever occur to you that you are exactly what she needs? For God’s sake, Ben. I saw it eight years ago, and that’s what scared me about you two being together, because I knew even then, that you were the one man that she would follow to the ends of the earth. Ben, she loves you. From the moment she laid eyes on you in my salon all those years ago, you were it for her.”