Ben & Matilda- Infinite Promise

by Tania De Melo

  I let out a snubbed growl. “Smartass.”

  “I’m just playing with you. The sweater thing was really a great idea. The color will be easy to see against the rock and trees. Now, fingers crossed that someone will make it up there and in this direction, to spot it,” he replies.

  “So, what do we do now,” I ask hoping that he has something up his sleeve.

  “Now? Now, we sit and wait.”

  ***

  We sat and waited, and waited, and waited. It was getting dark again, so I was well aware as I’m sure was Quinn, that any rescue efforts would have been called off now until morning.

  “Do you think they’ve found any of the wreckage?” I ask.

  Quinn and I have been playing twenty-questions. Well, with me asking most of the questions. Quinn has just been keenly answering. I think he’s doing it to keep my spirits up and me feeling positive. I’m doing it more to keep him from nodding off. I’m really concerned about his injuries. He won’t let on, but I think he’s not telling me exactly how bad it is.

  “Quinn?”

  “Mm?”

  “Do you think the others made it? Do you think help has reached them?”

  He lets out a breath as if thinking before he answers. “They’re going to be fine.”

  “The eternal optimist,” I add, smiling, remembering that’s what I noticed and admired most about Quinn when I met him.

  He lets out a laugh. “It drives Abe crazy.”

  I chuckle, then let out a yawn, shaking my head lightly and open my eyes wide to fight to stay awake.

  “You’re tired.”

  I let out another yawn. “No, I’m good. But I could really use some caffeine right about now. I’d even settle for that tar they try and pass off as coffee in the hospital cafeteria.”

  “Yeah, no. I’m still baffled how no one has called in the CDC. I’m pretty sure that stuff falls under the category of biohazard,” Quinn feigningly warns. “But seriously, you need to get some sleep. I’ll keep watch and make sure to wake you every so often.”

  “No, I’m more worried about you than myself, Quinn. You possibly have a fractured spine, and who knows what else. I can almost guarantee you also have a severe concussion. There is no way I am sleeping, we need to stay awake together.”

  He lets out a sigh. “Ati, I’m okay; I’m not even tired. Sleep for a bit, then I will wake you. Even if you just get an hour or two. I promise, if anything changes with me, I’ll call out to you.”

  I lay there helplessly on my back, staring up to the clear night sky. “You promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “Okay, then I’ll see you in a while.”

  My words barely have time to leave my mouth as I fall into a deep sleep—who knows, maybe I’ll wake up to some good news.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  -Ben-

  It’s been three days, and still, no one has any damn answers. I’m going crazy knowing she’s out there helpless, most likely scared and worst of all, hurt. I can’t sit around here anymore. I need to do something.

  “I’m done. I’m done waiting for answers. I feel so damn useless. There has to be something we can do...that I can do? They could probably use more manpower with the search. I can’t climb, but I’m sure they need help on the base of the mountain. There are hundreds of miles of area to search, they are going to need more help.”

  Liam leans his forearms on the counter, resting his head in between them for a moment then looks up to me. “Ben, there isn’t anything we can do. They have air and ground crews tripled just for this search. They have rough coordinates where the plane went down, but it’s a lot of bedrock and forested area covered in snow. They’ll find her, just give it time.”

  I run my hands up and down my face, trying to rub away the frustration. “And in the meantime? Li, every hour, minute, and second that passes is taking away from her chance of survival.”

  “I’m sorry, Ben. This, I have no control over,” he shoots back firmly.

  I stand from the chair, causing it to shuffle back and hit the wall. “This is bullshit. I need her here. Here with me. Dammit, Li, I need to know she’s alive.”

  I fall to the floor, exhausted. I don’t have any more strength to just sit idly by, knowing that time is getting away from us.

  Liam, frustrated with all this as much as I am, walks off without a word, probably to check on Gwen. She hasn’t spoken in days and is hardly eating, and he’s concerned about her. He’s taking on a lot, and it doesn’t help that I’m adding to it.

  I’m sitting on the floor in the silence of a now dusk filled kitchen when a warm little body sits on my lap.

  Crunch, crunch, crunch.

  “Sammy, you shouldn’t be down here. I thought Auntie Grace put you in bed.”

  Crunch, crunch, crunch. “Shhh!”

  “No, Shhh. You get to bed,” I scold.

  I can feel the shift of his body as his shoulders slump, and he feels shut down. “You sad?”

  He’s discarded his snack and turned to face me, placing his little chubby hands on my cheeks. I let out a breath, then wrap my arms around my nephew, taking him into a hug. I don’t answer him; I just stand, carrying him toward the stairs and up to his room, laying him back in bed. It’s dark in the room, but the moon outside is letting in some light.

  “She be okay,” he whispers.

  I sit on the bed beside him. “Are you talking about Auntie Ati, Sam?” He nods his head in confirmation. I knew the older two understood what had happened, it was hard not to tell them when they kept asking why Mommy was so upset. But Sammy’s only three, I hadn’t realized he caught on to what was going on.

  Letting out a breath, I bring my hand to my nephew’s cheek. “Yeah, buddy. Auntie Ati is going to be okay.”

  He gives me a smile then turns on his side, instantly closing his eyes. I wish I could have that much faith.

  I leave him with a kiss on the head, tucking him back in bed and closing the door behind me as I walk out. When I step into the hall, Gwen is there. She looks as though she’s been through hell. Her eyes swollen, nose red, and I’m sure she hasn’t showered in a couple of days.

  “Did he get out of bed again?”

  I try and force somewhat of a smile. “Yeah, he found me down in the kitchen.”

  “He’s been restless these past few days,” she adds.

  “Sammy’s just picking up on everything going on around him.”

  Tears slowly fall from her eyes. “Or he’s wondering why his mother has been neglecting him.”

  I rest my hand on her shoulder. “Hey, they’re not being neglected. You’re dealing the best you can, and Ginny, Thea, Gracie, and Mom have been looking over them. The boys are fine.”

  She lets out a soft sob. “Liam got angry with me. He said I can’t just lay around in bed, that it’s not helping anything.”

  “Gwen, I don’t think he meant anything by it, or that he’s even angry. He’s worried about you, and it’s getting to him that he can’t fix this—make this all go away and bring Ati home to you...to all of us.”

  She inhales deeply. “I’m trying, Ben. Just every time I hear the boys laughing, I think, will they still be laughing when we have to tell them Ati won’t be coming back home. Or when I open up that damn kitchen cupboard and see her chipped mug in there, I hear her reasoning with me as to why it’s still a perfectly good mug. Or that hideous bag—Ben, I hate that bag, but right now, I would give anything to see her walking through the door with it in her hands. Then, it turns all too real, and I realize that I won’t because she’s not coming back. It’s been almost four days; she’s not coming back, Ben.”

  “Yep, da man said Ti Ti come home soon.”

  Gwen and I both turn to see Sammy standing there. Neither of us had heard the door to his room open.

  I look down at him. “Sammy, you need to stay in bed. It’s late. Now, no more games. Get in bed.”

  A pout comes across his lips. “But, she come home.”


  I move to pick him up, but Gwen reaches for my arm, stepping in and taking the little boy by the hand. “Ben, can you let Liam know I’m going to stay with Sammy tonight. I think he’s a little restless, and I’m going to try and get him to sleep.”

  Giving her a nod, she and my nephew disappear back into his room, the door gently closing behind her. As I turn and walk away, Liam comes out of their bedroom.

  “Hey,” he greets.

  “Hey. Gwen’s staying in with Sammy for the night, he’s been getting in and out of bed.”

  Liam nods. “Good, maybe him needing her to be there will help to get her going again.”

  “Li, she’s hurting. Ati’s her sister.”

  “I know she is…we’re all hurting. But Ati isn’t her only concern. She has six boys that need her as well.”

  “Liam, what happens between you and Gwen is your business. But I’m going to offer up a little something here. You know better than anyone that Gwen can take, and has taken a lot of shit. She will always be there for those boys no matter what and will get back to it soon enough. But for right now, I think you need to be patient with her.”

  Liam moves to lean on the wall behind him. “I feel so powerless. I can’t fix this for her, Ben.”

  “And I can’t run out and save Ati. As much as you feel powerless that you can’t save her for your wife. I can’t be Ati’s hero and save her. Li, the woman I love is out there, defenseless, or even worse, and I can’t do a damn thing about it. The fact is, none of us can do anything to help her, and it’s tearing us all apart inside.”

  Liam pushes up off the wall, now standing in front of me. “I know, this is just so messed up. Hasn’t this family already endured enough of this shit? Hell, Ati’s already been shot once when all that stuff went down with her biological father and Gwen; she didn’t deserve this.”

  I had thought I wasn’t handling this whole situation well. I mean, I haven’t been able to sleep, eat or even leave the kitchen until now. But Liam is taking this personally. Like it’s his sole task to protect this family.

  “You know this isn’t your fault. No one could have predicted the plane was going to be hit by lightning, Li.”

  “I know, but I feel responsible. I should be the one keeping everyone together, and instead, I have my wife falling apart. Thea feels like she’s to blame because she should have foreseen a freak storm. Kai is overly anxious and about to burst because they won’t let him out there, and then there’s you. This has to be killing you, Ben, and I haven’t had two minutes other than to tell you to be patient. Your future is out there with her life on the line, and all I’ve been able to do is think about how I’m not dealing with this.”

  He’s right, he has been all about how he’s not dealing, Gwen’s been all about how she’s lost her sister, and Thea’s all about how it was her plane, and they should have been safe. We’ve all been about how ‘we’ could do more or have changed something, but it’s our way of dealing because the reality of what this is, is actually far worse—Ati could be gone forever.

  I take my brother into a hug, and his arms wrap around me, squeezing tightly.

  “She’s like a sister to me, Ben... like a daughter. I want to be there for Gwen, but I don’t think she realizes just how much I want to fall apart too.”

  I’d never seen it that way. I know Liam cares about Ati, but I never really thought about how much he has been there right beside Gwen these past ten years looking after her sister.

  Liam pulls away, clearing his throat. “Jimmy just text. He said Elise prepared some food we can use for the family over the next few days. He’s still at the pub. Do you want to head over with me, and get out of the house for a bit?”

  “What about Gwen and the boys?”

  “They’ll be okay.”

  I nod. “Okay, let’s go.”

  ***

  When we walk into O’Fallon’s pub, it’s completely empty, having just shut down for the night. However, in the back, you can hear the faint squabbling of Jimmy and Elise.

  “I don’t understand why she continues to work here. All they do is argue,” I murmur under my breath

  Liam shrugs. “No idea. Kai says Elise has tried to quit, but Jimmy keeps telling her only when she can find him a suitable replacement, and when she brings someone in to train, he always finds something wrong with them.”

  “So. She can just leave.”

  “Yeah, but I think she also likes the extra money on top of the accounting. She’s still

  paying off those medical bills from when her grandfather was ill, then on top of that, all the funeral expenses,” Liam explains in a soft whisper.

  “What about the house? It’s one of the nicest properties in town. She could get enough money to pay off her bills and buy a nice little place,” I reply.

  Liam heads toward the bar. “I asked Ewan and Grace that same thing, they said

  because her grandfather built that home, and was proud of it, she doesn’t want to let it go. She wants to stay there.”

  I can appreciate that. “Good for her. But I think Jimmy’s intentionally keeping her around

  because he actually enjoys her company.”

  “Like hell! I’d rather shoot myself in the foot. That woman drives me crazy.” Jimmy

  walks out from the kitchen and heads over to where Liam and I are standing at the bar, shortly behind him, Elise follows.

  “No need to shoot yourself in the foot there, Jimbo. I have great aim, and I’d be more

  than willing to help you out,” she lets out with an undertone of humor.

  Jimmy lets out a detached grunt, then turns back to me and Liam, his expression now

  empathetic. “How are you and the family holding up?”

  Elise moves to his side. “I spoke with Grace earlier, but she said you haven’t heard

  anything new.”

  Liam takes a seat, resting his elbows on the bar. “No, nothing new. They haven’t even

  been able to find the wreckage.”

  “Jesus. What’s Kai saying?” Jimmy asks, knowing very well that my brother will definitely have his ear to the ground on this one.

  “He’s as frustrated as the rest of us. I swear with his lack of patience, he’s two minutes from grabbing his gear and going to head out there himself,” I reply.

  Jimmy lets out a snicker, nodding his head. “Sounds about right. Why hasn’t he?”

  “The higher-up’s already warned him off. If he goes, he’ll be in violation of orders and be put on suspension,” Liam informs.

  Elise nudges herself in front of Jimmy. “So? It’s never stopped him before.”

  I look to her. “And it’s not going to hold him off much longer. We all know Kai, he’ll only take so much of sitting back before he says, ‘screw you, now, move out of my way, please.’”

  “Having your hands tied must be killing all of you. You’re not a family to sit by and let other people take the reins,” Jimmy says.

  I look up, letting out a breath. Just thinking about how useless I am right now, infuriates me so much. Liam notices and replies. “Yeah, none of us are taking this whole thing all that well.”

  “If you boys need anything, we’re here,” Jimmy offers.

  Elise nods in agreement. “I know it’s not much, but I threw together some quick meals for the family; you’ll just need to pop them in the oven. Should have enough there for a couple of days, but please tell the girls not to hesitate if they need more. They shouldn’t have to worry about cooking at a time like this.”

  I look to her, grateful for the help and consideration. “You have no idea how much that helps, Elise. I know the girls will appreciate it. They’ve been doing their best to hold us all together.”

  Just as Liam stands from his stool, his phone sounds with a call. He looks to the screen.

  “It’s Kai.” He answers only listening for a moment, then hangs up and looks to me. “They found them.”

  An air of held anticipation is released fro
m both Jimmy and Elise, and I ask, “Are they—are they—” I try to get the words out but can’t.

  “All he said was they found them and that he was on his way to the house to fill us all in. We should get heading out,” Liam instructs.

  We both turn to Jimmy and Elise, not wanting to waste another moment.

  Elise notices then looks to me in understanding. “Go, I’ll drop off the meals in the morning. Go!”

  Not wasting another moment, both Liam and I run out the door.

  Please let her be alive.

  ***

  When we get to the house, everyone is already there. Kai must have called the others as well. We head in the front entrance and make our way through the house to the living room where we hear everyone in a chatter.

  As we enter the room, Kai sees us and heads over. “Before either of you asks, I don’t know much more than that they’ve found them. As to ‘them,’ I don’t know. It could be all four of them or not. I don’t know. I don’t know what shape they’re in or even if they are alive. I wish I knew more, but I don’t.”

  “So, what the hell can you tell us, Kai,” I shout at him.

  Liam rests his hand on the back of my neck, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I look to Kai, but he’s not put out at all by my outburst; he knows it wasn’t directed at him.

  “What I can tell you is this. We will have more information shortly. They will process quickly what evidence they do have, then notify next of kin first,” Kai explains.

  Gwen moves over to us, looking to Kai. “So, what you’re saying is that if it’s not Ati, we won’t hear anything other than the fact that it wasn’t her.”

  Kai lets out a sigh, nodding in confirmation. Gwen exits the room heading up the steps, I’m assuming to the bedroom. Liam doesn’t wait around; he follows his wife up the stairs realizing quickly that he’s needed more there than here.

  “So, we wait,” Ewan says from his seat on the couch beside Grace.

  ***

  And wait we did—for hours. “Why is this taking so long?” My mother asks. Her and my father arrived shortly after Liam and I. She’s visibly tired, but refuses to lay down.