The Escape: Soren's Saga

by Nicky James

  We laughed. Soren took my hand again and we turned to head back into the living room just as the doorbell sounded.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  SOREN

  My heart jumped into my throat at the sound of the doorbell. An injection of fear turned my blood to ice as it ran through my veins. The joking fun I’d been having with Remy over the lizard vanished as reality came back and pummeled me like a two-by-four to the chest.

  “Oh God, they’re here.” My next breath got stuck in my lungs and I was certain I was cusping the edges of a panic attack.

  Remy snagged my shoulders and looked me directly in the eyes. “You can do this, Caro. Don’t give them the power to make you feel weak. You are an amazing person and no matter what happens, remember I love you. Who knows, maybe this will be the beginning of a new era with you and your family.”

  That was so far outside the realm of possibilities, I nearly laughed.

  Remy directed me toward the door, but every effort I made to move my feet felt as though I was trudging through thick muck. I wanted to hold onto Remy’s arm for strength, but resisted. The last thing I needed was to give my dad something to focus on the moment he walked in.

  In the living room, the atmosphere had taken a one hundred and eighty degree turn. The temperature had dropped significantly, warning of the oncoming storm. As though observing the same sort of unspoken rule, Kieran and Abel drifted apart as well, no longer hanging off each other. They sat with a generous space between them. Stephen had taken the baby and had him cradled in his arms.

  Ember went to open the door as I darted my gaze frantically around the room. My heart was a steady racing drum in my chest, painfully slamming its assault against my ribcage. I met Abel’s eyes and even through his worry, he smiled and mouthed, “we got this. It’s okay.”

  I wanted to believe him. Desperately.

  “Do you want to sit, Caro?” Remy whispered.

  I nodded. My muscles were so taut, when Remy guided me to the couch, I could barely walk.

  A few moments later, Ember returned, directing my mom and dad into the living room. I didn’t think it could get colder in there, but I was wrong.

  Even though it had been years since I’d seen either of them, they looked exactly the same. My dad’s shoulders were squared and rigid, broad like Abel’s and spoke of his confidence. His hair had more grey than before, but he wore the same style; cut short and combed to the side. Like I always remembered growing up, my dad wore nothing but slacks, dress shirts, and a tie. That day was no different. Grey slacks, navy and white button up shirt, grey tie.

  My mother had always been petite, like me. Her hair was as light as mine and cut to an inverted bob that framed her face, accenting her high cheekbones. She wore light makeup, a mauve pantsuit, jewelry around her neck and in her ears, and glasses which hung on a chain.

  With their presence, the air was sucked out of the room and the silence smothered us.

  No one spoke.

  No one breathed.

  No one moved.

  My dad’s jaw was tight and his gaze lingered on Abel for a long time before passing to Kieran and eventually drifting to me. My self-consciousness seeped to the surface. I became aware of everything that was probably wrong with me while under his scrutiny and regretted every decision I’d made that morning. From my eyeliner, to my red skinny jeans, to my raspberry body wash and lip gloss.

  I braced myself for a verbal whirlwind of insults, wishing I could crawl into Remy’s lap and disappear, but it never came. To my astonishment, he said nothing. The only evidence of his distaste was a slight crinkle of his nose as he turned to Ember.

  “I need a drink.”

  Ember jumped at his demand and disappeared in a flash down the hall to the kitchen. I envied her, wanting nothing more than to chase her down and spend the rest of the evening somewhere else.

  “Where is my grandson?”

  Completely ignoring both her children, my mother gravitated to Stephen and promptly removed the baby from his arms. My father joined her and together they dove into conversation on who Xavier looked more like. Abel and I were forgotten.

  The tension couldn’t be cut with a knife and I hesitated to move, fearing bringing attention to myself. Remy’s presence beside me was the only thing keeping me grounded.

  Ember returned and handed my dad a dark colored drink in a short tumbler. The ice, clinking against the glass, sounded loud in the quiet room. Knowing him, it was undoubtedly a rum and Coke. Probably the only thing my father and I had in common.

  “Can I get anyone else a drink,” Ember asked, pivoting and glancing about. “There’s beer, wine, soda, and an array of liquor. You name it, I’ll see what I can do.”

  Kieran and Abel both requested a soda, which surprised me, but pleased me at the same time. Abel had struggled with an alcohol addiction his whole adult life and when I’d moved out he was at his worst.

  Remy requested wine and I asked for a rum and Coke as well. Anything to calm my nerves would be a blessing. Ember retreated to the kitchen and returned a short time later with our drinks.

  “So, Mom, Dad, did you get to meet everyone?”

  I shrunk down on the couch.

  Oh God, no, please don’t.

  I’d have preferred keeping the attention elsewhere. There was the faintest of chances that our evening could have been acceptable if we all just continued ignoring each other. Sadly, that wasn’t going to happen.

  My mom took the baby from my dad and they both turned to where everyone was gathered. Both their faces were hard as stone.

  “No one bothered with introductions,” my dad said with ice in his tone. “Manners are a thing of the past it seems.”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again when no words came out. Not wanting to mimic a fish out of water, I stared into my lap instead.

  Abel jumped off the couch, and with a look that mirrored my fathers, he spoke, “Mom, Dad, this is Kieran. Kieran, my parents, Abraham and Janice.” Kieran stood and smiled, offering a hand to shake. He was always so relaxed and confident.

  There was a pause where I didn’t think my dad would accept his hand, but he did. There was no, “nice to meet you”, back, only a forced smile and a turned lip. My dad then turned to Remy and squared himself, narrowing his eyes.

  “Next.”

  My stomach sank. Before I could offer an introduction, Remy shocked me. He stood and extended his hand, holding my dad’s hard gaze without flinching. “Remigio Moretti, or Remy, Soren’s boyfriend. It’s a pleasure. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  My father’s jaw tightened at the word boyfriend, but otherwise, he kept his remarks to himself.

  “I’m sure you have.” They shook, both firm and neither allowing the other the upper hand.

  Once introductions were made, my parents resumed ignoring us. It suited me better than the alternative, so I sat beside Remy on a beige, micro-suede couch in the corner and counted the minutes until we could leave.

  So that was Em’s idea of cordial. I wondered how long until either Abel or my dad slipped up. It was bound to happen.

  Dinner was no better.

  Remy continuously rested his hand on my leg under the table and squeezed for reassurance. It was like knowing a bomb was going to explode at any moment but not knowing exactly when.

  Conversation was strained. Ember worked to keep everything running smoothly, but the whole gathering was forced and uncomfortable. Abel spoke proudly and openly of his schooling. He had one year left before he graduated with a Kinesiology degree and was beginning a co-op placement at a local high school starting in January.

  My father refused to comment and my mother continually redirected the focus to the new baby. I stayed quiet.

  After dinner, we retired to the living room again. I’d have preferred leaving, but clearly there was more visiting to be had.

  We’d barely settled when Abel and Kieran passed a look between them and Abel shuffled forward.

  �
�Umm… Kieran and I have an announcement and we couldn’t think of a better place to make it than while the whole family was here.”

  I darted a confused look to Remy and then back to my brother. He wasn’t seriously doing what I thought, was he?

  Even though I didn’t think it was possible, the tension in the room increased.

  All eyes were on Abel and he grinned that cocky, uncaring grin I’d seen a million times. He was really going to do it.

  Abel took Kieran’s hand and pulled it in his lap before staring directly at my father, challenging him

  “Kieran and I decided to get married last month. We didn’t do anything big, just a small thing with us and a few friends, but yeah, so Kieran is my husband now.” Abel smirked. “Your son-in-law, Dad. Isn’t that great?”

  Like a blackhole had opened in the middle of the room, everything went silent. It was such an absolute silence it almost made me panic thinking I’d gone deaf. I couldn’t believe he’d just done that. Well I kind of could, it was Abel and he’d never owned a filter.

  A huge part of me wanted to go along with him and jump up to congratulate them, but a sudden fear took over when I watched the reaction brewing from my father.

  Also, Remy’s hand gripped my thigh, urging me to remain seated.

  “Married?” my father said, his voice flat and unimpressed.

  “Yup, before God and everything. Turns out he’s fine with it by the way, and you were wrong this whole time.”

  Oh no, this is it. The world is going to end right here in my sister’s living room.

  Abel’s gaze never wavered. The wide smirk remained glued to his face. He matched my father’s glare with his own, daring him to say anything. All promises of a peaceful gathering flew out the window.

  My father’s lips pursed and the hand he had wrapped around his tumbler tightened with a white-knuckled grip.

  “I think the baby needs changing,” my mother cut in, spinning to my sister. “Ember will you show me to his room?”

  Nice escape Mom. Don’t defend your sons. Leave them to the lion as always.

  “Come on, Dad. This is a huge deal. Aren’t you going to congratulate us? Welcome Kieran to our loving family. Embrace him like you did Stephen? Or is there a problem?”

  Abel didn’t back down. He pushed for a response. Tested the limits of my dad’s promised self-control. I had no idea why he was doing it, but with every statement, I could almost hear my father’s blood pressure rise until he stood from his chair and Abel flew to his feet as well, matching his stance.

  I couldn’t just sit and watch the end of the world happen and not try and stop it, so I jumped up as well, staring wide-eyed at my brother.

  “Abe, maybe—”

  “Not now, Soren, Dad and I are having a little chat.”

  I clamped my mouth shut and Remy pulled me back down to sit.

  “Come on, Dad. Got nothing to say?” Abel’s smirk was gone and a lifetimes worth of rejection came to the surface.

  Then it happened. My dad found his voice and I held my breath.

  “Remind me, Abel, what happened to your first husband?”

  I was going to be sick. Whatever Abel had planned, he wasn’t expecting that. He flinched and the despair that comment brought was not hidden.

  “Abel, that’s enough.” Kieran stood and took Abel’s arm, trying to guide him to sit again. “You don’t need to do this.” But Abel wouldn’t have it.

  “Yeah, I do. I’m not finished.”

  “He died, didn’t he?” my father continued. Abel’s teeth clenched. “And not an easy death either, was it? Drawn out and painful. You needed to sit by and watch him suffer, didn’t you? God punishes those who live in sin.”

  “That’s enough,” Kieran snapped. I jumped at his anger. I didn’t even think Kieran was capable, but he pushed Abel behind him and was in my father’s face in a flash, venom thick in his voice. “You have no right to speak of Landon like that. That is extremely insensitive. Who do you think you are?”

  Abel stumbled back a step, face paled, eyes glassed over. Kieran shook his head in disgust and turned back to Abel, tugging his arm. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “No.” Abel’s voice broke as he attempted to pull himself back together. “All I wanted was acceptance from you, Dad. All I’ve done my whole life is try to be the son you wanted me to be. This was exciting news, and even though I knew… I knew you’d hate it, I wanted to wait and share it here, today. Kieran and I have struggled for two years over Landon’s death and here we are bursting with happiness for the first time and you can’t find it in yourself to even pretend, can you? Being gay isn’t a choice. It’s not something Soren and I chose. But, being hateful is. I’m done.”

  I looked from Abel, to Kieran, to my dad, waiting, fearing where the conversation would land. The anxiety in me had reached its peak and my legs bounced and teeth chattered.

  “You want me to be happy for you?” Dad said, voice at almost a whisper. “I came here and tried to keep my mouth shut, but you insist on making trouble. You’ve always been like that. At least your brother knows enough to keep his mouth shut.”

  Kieran tugged again on Abel’s arm, and that time drew his attention.

  “Come on, babe. Not worth it.”

  Abel nodded and allowed Kieran to guide him down the hall to the front door.

  The moment they disappeared from the room, my father’s gaze landed on me and I went rigid. The lion had finished with his first victim and just noticed a second was within range. I wished I could disappear. Before he spoke, Remy was on his feet and pulled me to stand.

  “I think it is time we departed as well.”

  My father barely gave me a second glance before retreating to another part of the house. As had been the case my entire life, I wasn’t even worth wasted breath.

  Out front, Kieran leaned against the car, but Abel was nowhere to be seen. Kieran lifted his head as we approached and smiled sadly.

  “Sorry about all that.” He shook his head.

  “Where is he?” I asked.

  “He needs a minute.” Kieran nodded to the park.

  Abel was slumped against a tree, head in his lap and hands on top.

  “I’ll be back.” I let go of Remy and started after him.

  He didn’t lift his head when I approached, so I slid down the tree to sit beside him.

  He peered over, but buried his head again. “Hey,” he muttered.

  “Why did you do that?”

  Abel sighed and leaned back against the trunk. “I don’t know. I needed to prove a point… to myself at least. The longer the day dragged on, the thicker the tension became. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was all just fucking bullshit. I told Kieran before we even left the house that there would be no way Dad could hold his tongue.”

  “But you provoked him.”

  “I announced something that in any normal family would have been exciting news.” He shook his head and laughed. “You know, I think I actually wanted to believe it would be different. That maybe he would have stewed long enough, or Mom missed us enough that they would have at least reconsidered. That maybe they could just… let it go.”

  “Did you and Kieran really get married?”

  Abel smiled and tilted his head. “Yeah, we did. It was kinda spontaneous, but we both wanted it. I guess it was too much to ask for someone to be happy for us.”

  I leaned against his shoulder and smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks, pipsqueak. I’m happy for you too, you know. This new job and dance school. Shit, you are starting to sound all put together.”

  “I even do dishes now.”

  Abel shoved me and laughed. “Now you’re pulling my leg.”

  I laughed with him as he shoved me again before drawing me into his arms and ruffling my hair. We sat a few minutes in silence.

  “We don’t need them,” Abel said somberly. “We have each other. Family is what you make it and if they don’t want to be a part
of our lives, that is their loss. I think we need to stop trying so hard to please them. It won’t ever happen.”

  “You’re right.” Abel guided me to lay on his shoulder. “You and me. Kieran and Remy. We don’t need anymore family than that.

  “I love you, Abel. I’m really happy you’re doing so well.”

  “You too. Keep me posted about Donny and what happens, okay?”

  “I will.”

  After a short while, we made our way back to the car. Ember was waiting outside and looked distraught. She came right to us as we crossed the street, pulling us both into a hug.

  “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t think it would be that bad.”

  “You can’t change his mind, Em. Dad is who he is,” Abel explained. “But, don’t expect us to try this again.”

  She pulled from our arms and nodded. “Did you really get married again?”

  “Yup, I did.” He wiggled his ring finger and grinned. “Love that man.”

  Kieran’s face reflected the same emotion.

  “I’m happy for you both. Please don’t be strangers. I’m not like Mom and Dad and I want my brothers in my life.”

  I found Remy’s hand and weaved our fingers together. “Under different circumstances, we’ll come back, Em.”

  “Yeah,” Abel agreed. “That Xavier is gonna know who his uncles are.”

  Em pulled us back into another group hug, Kieran and Remy included. Remy didn’t even flinch.

  After a teary goodbye, we headed back to our hotel.

  Epilogue

  SOREN

  April

  “Leave it, I like it.” I held Remy’s electric razor hostage behind my back as I sat on the bathroom counter in nothing but a pair of pink underwear. “Scruff suits you.”

  He looped an arm behind me and tried to get it back. Again, I dodged him.

  “I’m not going into a courtroom with scruff on my face. It’s not proper. Give me back my razor.”

  “Pff… who cares about proper? It’s fucking sexy and that’s what I was going for.”

  The next snag, he took hold of the razor and I squirmed, trying to break free. “Give it up, you lose, Caro.”