When Time Stood Still

by K. S. Adkins

  With teams picked it actually helped the other team was one short. That meant my team had a fighting chance. We’d need it too. First you had me, who sucked. Then you had the rest of the team which in an hour wouldn’t be able to stand up without help. Feather bowling was the highlight of my week but even this was coming to an end. As it was, I couldn’t see the feather and I hadn’t been able to for weeks. I came here to get out of the house and after this week if I came back again, it would be to watch.

  Stepping into place, I pretend that I know what I’m doing when I retract my arm preparing to release the ball. Lining up my shot, I was ready to go when I hear, “Is there room for one more?” the ball that should have went toward the feather went backwards instead. “Ow fuck!” Whipping around I see Drum holding his shin while he dances around on his good leg.

  “I’m sorry!” running over to his side, I guide him to a stool pushing him down on it.

  “What is the matter with you?”

  “Me?” he grunts. “You just shattered my tibia!”

  “Really?” oh my God, I can never leave the house again. One day I’m going to kill somebody!

  “No,” he says standing up easily. “I just liked you touching me.”

  “Why are you here?” I ask in place of squealing about him liking my touch. “Better yet, how did you find me?”

  “Feather bowling, huh?” taking my hand he guides me to him where he pulls a James Dean draping an arm over my shoulder. “I’ve always wanted to play, tell me the rules.”

  So I did.

  For two hours we laughed and drank beer with the crew (led by Drum) hiding behind the tables when it was my turn. He was never more than a foot away and that was only because I tried moving away only to be shut down. Drum wanted me close. I liked being close too but I knew this couldn’t lead to anything either. When our last game ended, I opted for throwing cash on the table and making a run for the door. The thing about me running anywhere is that I shouldn’t. After knocking a stool over, Drum caught up with me and backed me into a corner. Literally.

  “Where were you running off to?” he was breathing in my face, he was that close. He didn’t smell like caviar but of beer, he smelled fantastic.

  “I have a bus to catch.”

  “No you don’t,” he says softly.

  “I have seven minutes to catch the eleven ten,” I point out while also trying to duck under his arm.

  “No,” he says tagging my waist. “You have one minute.”

  “I don’t follow…” my clock wasn’t wrong; I had enough time to make it.

  “To get in my car.”

  “Oh,” if I got in his car it was game over. He wouldn’t make it to the corner before I was on him. Then we’d crash and I’d feel guilty for wrecking his car. The whole thing spelled disaster.

  “Thirty seconds,” he says pulling me tight.

  “Let me go,” I whisper.

  “I can’t.”

  “You can,” I tell him. “And you’ll be happy you did. Please…”

  “You never have to beg me,” he says in my ear. “Ten seconds.”

  “Listen to me,” I growl. “I’m not doing this with you, not tonight. Not ever.” In a split second he went from seductive to dominate. Gone was the flirtatious guy who was as bad at feather bowling as I was.

  “Time’s up,” he says bending at the knees and turning my world literally upside down.

  “For fuck’s sake!” I scream. “Put me down before I puke!”

  He wasn’t listening to me. He was too busy channeling his inner caveman to even acknowledge me. However, a minute later when he set me down next to his car, the vibe coming from him shut me up and kept me that way.

  If I gave her an inch she’d make a run for it. If she did that she’d probably run into a wall and then instead of getting back in her bed, I’d be sitting next to her hospital bed. She wanted me. She could play the, I’m doing this for you all night long, it wouldn’t work.

  Caging her in, I was careful not to actually scare her. Time was a slight woman in size but not in spirit. She smelled so fucking good that every cell in my body demanded her. My cock was on fire, I wanted her to belong to me, to no one else. I wanted to be her doctor, her lover and her best friend. I wanted Time to depend on me for every necessity and tonight we’d start with an orgasm.

  After I set her straight, that is.

  “I’m a patient man,” I warn her. “But if you think you can shake your ass, flip that wild hair around and smile for me like you did back there assuming you could just walk away… you’d be wrong.”

  “I didn’t—” she tries.

  “You know full well you fucking did,” leaning into her ensured she had no room to move. “I can smell it, you know.”

  “Smell what?” she whispers nervously.

  “You. From your shampoo, to your body spray and even the lust flooding my nose. I smell it and my reaction to it is primal. You’ve had a few beers, but you aren’t drunk. I’d know if you were. I may not fuck you tonight, maybe not tomorrow night either, but when I do…”

  “Drum…”

  “When I do,” I warn her one last time. “I’ll never stop fucking you.”

  “You’re serious,” she says breathlessly.

  “Like I said,” backing away from her, I unlock the doors and move her aside to open hers. “I’m a patient man. Tonight you sleep next to me. In the morning it’s me you’ll see when you open your eyes. If you still don’t want me, then I’ll have no choice but to resort to Plan B.”

  “Plan B?” she asks while I tuck her in her seat.

  Leaning inside the car I put us eye to eye so she can see I’m serious. “If you really want to know what Plan B is, test me.”

  Her gulp was audible, but she wasn’t nervous or scared of me. Time was as turned on as I was. I spent the entire afternoon sitting outside of her house wondering if she’d want to see me. I was prepared to knock on her door but she’d walked out with her bag over her shoulder headed to the bus stop. Naturally, I followed her. No woman has ever made me feel like this. Like I’d go insane if I didn’t see her, talk to her, smell her. There was beauty in the fact that she had no idea she was even doing it.

  We were silent as we pulled into her driveway. Exiting first, I expected her to open her own door denying me the chance to do it for her. When she didn’t open it, I did and I offered my hand to help her out. Looking from my hand then up at me, it wasn’t fear on her face but caution.

  “Would you like me to carry you inside?”

  Sliding her fingers over my palm, I help her out and watch her slowly climb the steps. Before using the keypad she turns to me, runs her hands under my shirt and drops her forehead to my chest. “I want this, I won’t deny that. But you could have any woman, why me?”

  “Because until I saw you, I didn’t know what I was missing.”

  “No,” she whispers still keeping her head down. “Don’t do this to me.”

  “Do what?”

  “Lie to me!” she yells in my face. “When the day comes that I can’t see, you’ll still be there, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Bullshit!” she argues. “And you know what, Drum? Unless you tell me you’re leaving, I wouldn’t even see you go!”

  “You don’t make my choices for me,” I remind her. “Give me tonight, shit… give us tonight. At least fucking try, don’t close your eyes on me because you’re afraid, Time.”

  “Tonight,” she whispers. “Fine, I’ll give you tonight.”

  Letting us in, she tosses her bag then stares me down. She’d let me take her, I knew that much. But taking her would be too easy. She needed to see I was different and she would, right after I iced my balls. Passing her in favor of the kitchen, I adjust my aching cock then grab a bottle of wine bringing it and two glasses with me into the living room.

  “Join me,” I offer, sitting down.

  “I thought you wanted to fuck,” she snaps.

  “I do,” I agree. �
��And so do you, but let’s start slow.”

  “What’s your angle?”

  “What’s your fucking problem?”

  Caught off guard, she sits down tucking her feet underneath her. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles. “This is just weird.”

  “My wanting you is weird?”

  “I was talking about your approach,” she says evenly. “I’m having a hard time keeping up with you. Yesterday you drove me home, stayed for dinner and nearly fucked me into the door. Now you show up at feather bowling doing the caveman thing wanting my surrender, I don’t get it.”

  “I was in your bed too,” I remind her while pouring her wine. “Let’s not forget that part.”

  Laughing, she takes the wine and gives me that smile. “You’re going to break my heart,” she says quietly. “And what does that say about me that I’m completely willing to let you?”

  “Last night, you said that you trusted me with what’s left of your sight,” I made sure to have her eyes on me when I said this. “You also said I was your only hope.”

  “I did.”

  “You weren’t talking about your vision, Time.” When she bites her lip, I extend my arms and as I had hoped, she filled them.

  “Don’t go,” she whispers into my neck. “Just stay.”

  “I wasn’t leaving,” I say kissing her softly. “Plan B was restraining you.”

  She started with a slow giggle that morphed into a full on body spasm. Lifting her head, our eyes meet and in the crystal blue of hers I saw her colorful soul. When her hands frame my face, I lean into her palm. As her fingers outline my features, I watch her. “I feel it,” she says running her thumb over my lip. “The pull, I feel it. It’s too strong, I can’t fight it, Drum.”

  “Don’t try to.”

  With her body astride mine, when she leaned into kiss me, she did it with her eyes open. Doing the same, not wanting to miss it, when her breath caught I drew into my lungs and watched her pupils dilate. Both of us knew this was it.

  Last night was surreal.

  One minute I was positive his leaving was best for both of us then, he changed all that with another three words.

  Don’t try to

  Like I was going to argue that? Not fucking likely. So we finished the bottle of wine and I fell asleep on his chest. Listening to his heart beat is what I imagined a child sleeping on its mother felt like. For me, it felt like the safest place in the world. His beat was strong, like he was and when he ran his fingers over my eyes to close them, I allowed it.

  I woke up alone on the couch with a blanket covering me and a pillow under my head. It’s been months since I’ve slept through the night and I knew too easily, I could come to depend on this, on him. Drum has been in my life less than forty eight hours and I was already missing him.

  “Good morning,” he says coming to stand over me. Tilting my head back to see him made me feel like I was piss drunk so, I sat up to see him better. Wanting to stand was the idea until I ended up on the floor. Embarrassment colored my cheeks followed by mortification. As far as impressions go, I was batting a thousand.

  “Do you plan on getting off the floor today?” he asks while I stare at his bare feet. Nope, I was good right where I was, thank you very much. “Because if you can manage it, we have plans.”

  “We do?” Okay, so that perked me up. Right then and there, two things made me fall in love with him. The first was easy since I was already on the floor and it was that he didn’t rush to help me up. Instead, he made light of it which was what I needed. The second already happened the night before when he thought I was sleeping. Running his fingers through my hair he’d said, We’re going to see the world together. You’ll be my eyes now and I’ll be your eyes later.

  Once I was up, he handed me a cup of coffee which sent my love for him into overdrive. He even admitted to laying clothes out for me to save us time. I call bullshit but it was sweet so I wore what he picked out. First he took me to his place giving me the tour. He lived in Rochester and he lived in a seriously swank house. It was all windows, granite, and leather. “What is it with you and white?” I ask him.

  “Never had a reason to paint it,” he says taking my hand. “Until now.”

  “Uh okay…” I mumble.

  “What colors are best for resale?”

  “How would I know? I’ve lived in my house since birth.”

  “Okay then, what colors would you paint this house if you were selling it.”

  “Are you moving?” I ask, worried that I fell for him only to watch him leave. The sweet things he said to me last night now angered me. So Drum felt sorry for me, good to know.

  “I’ve got my eye on a new place,” he says cryptically.

  So I told him which colors I thought would work best and then, like I’d never spoke, he announced we were going to lunch. Seriously, at this point I was just along for the ride. At lunch, he was freaking me out with his questions about my plans for the future. I wanted to point out my future was looking pretty dark (pun intended) but I took a different angle. “Have you ever been married?”

  “No,” he laughs like it’s the silliest notion he’s ever heard.

  “Kids?”

  “Not to my knowledge,” he deadpans.

  “Yeah, me either,” I counter.

  “I was kidding,” he says pulling me next to him. “Lighten up, Time.”

  “Do you want those things?”

  “Yes,” he says seriously. “I do. Probably sooner than later.”

  “Oh,” I mumble wondering who the lucky lady might be and hating her instantly. “How old are you?”

  “Thirty six,” he says grinning. “I’m not that much older than you.” No he wasn’t, just a few years ahead of me. Another reminder that I wouldn’t see him age, his wife would. “Time,” he says snapping me out of it.

  “What?”

  “Do you want to get married? Have kids?”

  “Haven’t really thought about it,” I lie.

  “If you won’t be honest with me you should at least be honest with yourself.”

  “I’ll try and remember that, daddy.” I snap at him.

  “You can call me daddy later,” he says throwing cash on the table. “We have something to do first.”

  He was successful, he wanted a family, and the truth was, it would never be with someone like me. That fucking sucked and so did loving a man who deserved more than I could give.

  Time had no idea when I spoke of the future I was doing so with her in mind. She was convinced she wasn’t enough for me. For a quick-witted female she didn’t pick up on any of my hints. So that left me showing her instead of telling her.

  Either worked for me as long as she wanted forever, with me.

  Taking her hand, we head inside of the theatre and even though I couldn’t control the crowd she handled it well. Escorting her down to our seat, she sits quietly in the dark and I know she’s thinking to herself, thanks for sticking me in a dark theatre asshole…

  “Here,” reaching over I slip them on to her face, securing them behind her ears. God she looked adorable.

  “What are these for?” she asks touching the rims.

  “Just something I want to try out,” I explain. “It should help you filter out the harsh light enough to let you see part of the show. Or I could be wrong and you just look gorgeous sitting there seeing nothing.”

  “What show?” she asks looking around the theatre. “I can see some light through the dark, but that’s about it. It’s nice to be able to notice anything at this point.”

  “Wait for it, Time.”

  The lights went down and I took her hand tethering her to me. The orchestra came through the speakers startling her but she recovered quickly. When the narrator began explaining the secret lives of the stars and the planetarium exploded in bright lights and color, Time moved forward in her seat. Without my help, her eyes followed the planets as they made their journey around the room. When the moon came up it was burning bright, showcasin
g the earth at night. Time’s reaction caught me totally off guard. “Oh my God, I see the moon!” she squeals reaching for it. “I can touch it, Drum! I can see the trees at night too—”

  An audience member tried shushing her but Time wasn’t having it. “Excuse me, but I haven’t seen the moon in two in a half years, zip it!” then forgetting all about him, I watch her fingers dance through the air as if she was tracing it, memorizing it. After the moon was replaced by the sun she fell back in her seat with a look of awe on her face. Turning toward me she traces my face before kissing me softly. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For letting me see it one last time.”

  “We can do this again,” I assure her. “As much as you want.”

  “Okay,” she smiles but Time knew something I didn’t. She knew there wouldn’t be a next time.

  Time needed bigger adventures. She needed to see it all while she still could, which meant I had some work to do. If it was the last thing I did, I would make certain she had a lifetime of memories to remember and that I’d be a part of them.

  Turns out I didn’t have to wait two weeks to see my doctor again because, he never left.

  That night after the planetarium we fell asleep together in my bed, woke up together in my bed, and the following morning made breakfast together. When he’s not working, he’s helping me learn the technology that assists people like me with low vision. He’s patient, showing me once then watching me do it. He answers all of my questions and he doesn’t treat me with kid gloves.

  This morning, when I went to take the fruit from the strainer to the bowl but spilled it all over the floor, I dropped to my knees to clean it up but he was already there. “You have to let me do this,” I tell him as nicely as possible. Drum was available right now but I had to remember there would be a time when he wasn’t. It was imperative I become self-sufficient.