Besides, it wasn’t like they’d ever talked about a future or anything. Perhaps in time they could even become friends.
* * *
The feelings of relief and self-assuredness that had powered her through the breakup conversation with Jordan the night before were nowhere to be found the next day. Instead, an overwhelming sense of loss loomed as she’d struggled for the emotional energy needed to simply get through the day.
As it finally neared its twilight, she raked a fork through the plate of leftover ziti she’d tried to finish for half an hour. Her eyes puffy and irritated from a deluge of crying, she smirked bitterly at the state she was in. She’d never felt completely comfortable in the relationship, so after thoughtful deliberation, she’d done what she believed was in her best interest, both of their interests. And as far as breakups went, she’d done it in style, buffering the heinous act by treating Jordan to dinner at a classy steakhouse and orchestra seats to a stellar touring production of Hamilton. But that did little to lessen the ache of missing her.
After putting the plate of pasta that had bested her on the coffee table, she buried her head into a sofa cushion and flicked mindlessly through the channels, settling on a thirty-minute infomercial, the best non-chemical sleep aid she’d ever known.
Ten minutes into a demonstration of the many ways a countertop rotisserie oven would improve her life, she’d dozed off on the couch with Ruby balled up on her chest. Sleep seemed to be the only way to drive Jordan’s tortured expression from her mind, and after the miserable bout of punch-drunk insomnia she’d suffered through last night, a nap was the rarest of treasures. But before the limited-time-only price slash on the rotisserie oven blinked across the screen, her vibrating cell startled both her and the cat awake.
“Hey, Katie, you guys want to come to the Rocky Horror Picture Show with us tonight?” Didi’s perky voice sliced through her.
“What?” she croaked, still foggy with sleep.
“You and Jordan. Meet us at the Landmark for the seven o’clock show. I bought these crazy hats and glasses.” She giggled, unaware of Kate’s downslide.
“Didi, we broke up.”
“You what?” Didi shouted into the phone. “Oh, Kate, you didn’t, did you?”
“I did,” Kate said quietly, holding the phone away from her ear.
“But Kate, we talked about this—you, me, and Viv.”
Kate opened her mouth to reply, but Didi was off and running.
“You agreed you were overthinking everything,” Didi said. “Things were going so great. You could’ve dropped me a hint.”
“I needed your permission?”
“No, but we always share this kind of stuff. What made you change your mind? Did something happen on Jordan’s end?”
“Dee, I’m not in the mood to get into this now. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
“No way. Your schedule is full tomorrow, and you know it. I’m coming over there right now. I’m calling Viv. They’re in town this weekend.”
“Didi, please.” She blinked her dry eyes. “I can’t deal with a three-pronged attack from you guys right now. I just want to be alone.”
“Kate, you can’t be alone at a time like this. You sound terrible. You need your best friend to comfort you.”
“What I need is some space and a friend who can respect that.”
“How am I supposed to enjoy my movie knowing you’re suffering all by yourself?”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please do this for me. I’ll be fine.”
Didi hung on in silence for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“That’s the one thing I am sure of. Enjoy your movie.”
Kate tossed the phone onto the coffee table and scooped the sleepy cat up in her arms. As Ruby purred faintly, Kate let go of the emotion that had snuck up on her like a mid-summer thunderstorm. Inconvenienced by the breakdown, Ruby shook the moisture off her ears, jumped out of her arms, and stretched before moving to the other end of the sofa. Kate chuckled at the cat’s indifference at her falling to pieces.
She absently checked her phone again for a text from Jordan.
Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.
Chapter Seventeen
It Ain’t Just a River in Egypt
Ready to call it a day after spending the afternoon writing a brief, Kate wandered out of her office and collapsed on the sofa. She ran her fingers through her hair and kicked off her shoes, imagining the first sip of a chilled cosmo passing through her lips as she waited for Didi to acknowledge her. But Didi was otherwise engaged stacking file trays and placing her stapler and paperclip holder in a desk drawer. She remained oblivious, humming as she shut down her computer and straightened up a mound of file folders.
Kate resorted to a loud sigh for attention.
Didi finally glanced over at her, looking like she’d just watched that Sarah McLaughlin animal-neglect commercial. “Any plans this weekend?”
Kate sighed again. “No. Just taking Sylvia to bingo at the casino Sunday morning.”
“Ugh. Really?” Didi recoiled with disdain.
“What else would you like me to do? Go catch a Jordan Squire show?”
“Does she have a gig this weekend?” Didi joined her on the sofa.
“It doesn’t appear so, according to her FB page.”
“Ohhhh,” Didi sang. “Weeks later and you’re still creeping on her Facebook page. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.”
“I wasn’t creeping. A client was running a few minutes late, so I was just passing the time.”
“You’re looking to see if that ex is lurking around again,” Didi accused her. “What are you going to do if she gets back with her?”
“Nothing,” Kate said with a shrug.
“Then stop torturing yourself by looking at her page. On certain occasions in life, ignorance really is bliss.” Didi beamed. “Unless you’re contemplating going back with her.”
“No. I doubt Jordan would even want that. She hasn’t made any attempts to contact me, so she must’ve realized she’s better off without me.”
“I could tell how that girl felt about you. It’s going to take her a lot more than a couple of weeks to get over you.”
Kate didn’t dispute the claim as her mood plunged even lower. Surprisingly, it seemed like that might be the case with her, too.
“Listen,” Didi said. “Tomorrow is the annual Ladies with an Attitude’s Gertrude Stein Book Club and Sky Dive. Wanna come along for the ride?”
Kate grimaced, her heart feeling as heavy as granite. And then it registered. “Sky dive?”
Didi nodded as though it were no big deal. “Only a fool would pass up the chance to watch me plummet toward the earth strapped to the back of a butch instructor dressed like Alice B. Toklas.”
“Is Rhea going?”
“What’s wrong with you?” Didi sprang into an upright position. “I thought we agreed never to mention that name again.”
“I’m sorry. I just assumed you’d called her and were back on again.”
“Why would you assume that? Because I’m so emotionally frail that I’d rather let someone use me than be alone?”
Kate looked at her innocently. “No. Because you like sex a lot.”
“That’s a very good point, but I liked her a lot. I wanted more from her than just a casual dinner and lay twice a week. Once she cut out the dinner part, I knew we were in trouble. I said ‘hasta luego, doll.’ I deserve better.”
“And you’re okay with it,” Kate asked.
“No, not really. I miss her and want to call her so bad. But if I do, I’ll be sending the message that I’m okay settling for what little she’s willing to give.”
Kate offered a listless smile and a whack on Didi’s thigh. “There may be hope for you yet.”
“C’mon, Kate,” Didi said, shoving Kate in the leg. “I don’t know what’s worse, the you you were before you met Jordan or this one.”
Kate groaned and sank
into the sofa. “You promised me you wouldn’t keep harping about the breakup.”
“And I haven’t. You have to admit, I’ve been a pillar of self-restraint. But I just have to make one comment.”
“All right. Out with it.”
“You’re working my last nerve. For the past two weeks, you’ve been bitchy, mopey, and depressing to be around. I’ve had to up my Zoloft dosage just to come to work.”
“You said ‘one thing.’ That was like five.”
“Kate.” She closed her eyes for a moment and pleaded softly from the arm of the sofa. “I’ve endured your glib attitude all week whenever I’ve tried to have a normal conversation with you. Would it kill you to express a genuine emotion? What’s going on? What are you feeling?”
Kate rallied a calm smile. “If you insist on moonlighting as a shrink, you should go lease your own office space.”
Didi scoffed and leapt up from the sofa. “I’m so done trying to help you.”
“Didi, please bear with me. I’ll be my old self again in no time.”
“That’s what worries me.”
“Here’s an idea. Why don’t you go brew yourself a fresh pot of go-fuck-yourself?” Kate arched an eyebrow at her. “There. How’s that for self-expression?”
“Impressive,” Didi said. “Rage may not be the prettiest, but at least it’s a genuine emotion.”
Kate stretched out, exhausted by the conversation. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“Call her, text her, something.” She dropped back on the sofa and placed Kate’s feet in her lap.
“Why, pray tell, would I want to do that?”
“You’re miserable without her.”
“I’m not miserable. I’m just…I’m not miserable.”
“Are you getting some kind of perverse pleasure out of this twisted self-denial ritual? You’re not a nun. You’re not even Catholic.”
Kate glared at her. “Oh, yeah, that’s exactly it. You’ve discovered my secret fetish. What time are you jumping out of that airplane?”
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you,” Didi said as she shoved Kate’s feet off her lap.
“You can stop worrying about me. I’ve got it under control.”
“This is asinine.” Didi began pacing. “I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself.”
“It’s not just about me. Jordan was getting serious too fast the way young, idealistic women will do. If I’d kept stringing her along, I would’ve really hurt her, and I’d never want to do that.”
“Kate, you did hurt her. You’re making her pay for something she has no control over. If she was some immature player type, Viv and I would totally be on board with you. But you’re running scared and using Jordan’s age as the perfect cover.”
“Is there not one practical bone in either of your bodies? She is thirty years old. I am forty-seven. She wants to be a famous singer. This would never work out in the long run. And frankly, I’m tired of pleading my case to you guys.”
“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry I brought it up again,” Didi said as she grabbed her purse from her desk. “She’s too young and unspoiled to be with a cynical old crank like you. You actually did her a huge favor.”
“I wouldn’t phrase it like that. You’re acting like I’m yelling at kids to get off my lawn.”
Didi rolled her eyes as if that was next. “Oh, no, not you. Listen, it’s Friday night, we’re both single, and we’d be a disgrace to the Women’s March if we didn’t get out in the world and at least try to have a good time.”
“What do you have in mind?”
Didi pondered the thought for a moment, and then a glint of mischief brightened her eyes. “A bite to eat, a couple of cocktails, and a side of reconnaissance.”
“On who? Rhea?”
Didi nodded eagerly. “I got her address. I want to do a drive-by.”
“I can’t look at Jordan’s Facebook page, but you can do a drive-by?”
Didi grinned. “People expect this kind of thing from me. I’m not as emotionally stable as you are.”
Kate smiled in spite of herself. “I hope I’m not going to regret this.”
Didi lightly clapped her fingertips together. “It’s no big deal. I just want to see the major renovations she was supposedly making to her house that prevented her from inviting me over. Ever.”
“Oh yeah. No big deal. Nothing could go wrong there.”
* * *
As the September sun lowered into the trees, Kate’s BMW turned onto Rhea’s street. She slowed so Didi could count off the house numbers as they drove down the winding, tree-lined road.
“She really lives in the sticks,” Kate said. “What does she need such a giant house for?”
“Maybe the houses get smaller the farther down you go.” Didi scanned the numbered mailboxes on the right side.
“I doubt that.”
“She is a realtor. I wouldn’t expect her to live in a cramped little cottage.”
“It should be coming up,” Kate said.
“Yeah, slow down. I think this is it, the one with the fence.”
Kate rolled to a stop. “Wow. Does she run a bed-and-breakfast or something?”
“What the…? Go up a little. Is that a swing set in the yard?”
“And a kiddie pool?” Kate noted, stretching over the steering wheel for a better look. “Are you sure you have the right house?”
“Positive.”
“So what is all that?” Kate scanned the windows in the front of the house.
“That’s what I’m about to find out,” Didi said as she raised her cell phone to her ear.
“What are you doing?” Kate was unnerved by the look on Didi’s face.
“Why is your yard full of kids’ toys?” Didi demanded after Rhea answered.
“Didi, calm down,” Kate whispered, ready to step on the gas. “They probably have security cameras on us right now.”
“Oh, they’re for your grandkids,” Didi said into the phone. “Would you mind explaining why you never told me you had kids, let alone grandkids?”
“Dee, I’m getting out of here,” Kate said.
“Don’t you move,” Didi warned her, grabbing the steering wheel. “Who’s that guy on the side of your house? Yes. I’m parked outside right now. How about you come out and explain to me who the fuck I was dating for a month and a half.”
“Didi,” Kate said, panicked. “Come on, let’s get—”
But before she could take off, Didi pushed open the door and jumped out onto the sidewalk. “You better get out here now and start explaining, Rhea, or I’m coming in.”
Kate threw the gearshift into Park and jumped out after her. “Didi, get a grip,” she said, latching onto her arm. “If she calls the cops, we’re gonna get hit with trespassing and disorderly conduct.”
“Don’t forget assault,” Didi said.
Rhea trotted out the front door and down the stone sidewalk to the gate. She appeared far less composed than she had at Amy and Sheila’s cocktail party when she strutted around like a peacock flirting with Jordan.
“What are you doing here, Didi?” Rhea said. “You said it was over.”
“I want some answers, Rhea, like who is the woman I met and almost fell for this summer?”
Once she realized a brawl wasn’t going to break out, Kate retreated to the driver’s side of her car and pretended not to listen.
“Didi, I’m sorry,” Rhea said. “I should’ve been honest with you.”
“Oh, you think? Rhea, what is all this?”
“I’m bisexual. I’ve been married to my husband for almost thirty years, but when I came out to him as bi, he was understanding.”
“So he knows what you’re doing online. It’s just all the unsuspecting women you meet who don’t. You’re a real piece of work, Rhea, for manipulating and deceiving people like this.”
After a menacing glare from Rhea, Kate slipped into the driver’s seat but rolled down the p
assenger window to continue eavesdropping.
“Didi, I handled this all wrong, and I’m sorry,” Rhea said. “Can you give me a minute to explain?”
Didi hesitated, then gave her a reluctant nod.
“You’re only the second woman I’ve met online. The first woman didn’t seem to care about my home situation. We had a brief affair, and then she went on her way. I thought it would be the same with you, so I didn’t bother investing.”
“How could you have assumed I’d just be another casual lay? I was so into you, Rhea. I told you I loved you.”
“I know, and it shocked the shit out of me when you did. I didn’t know what to do, so I pulled back and hoped things would just fizzle out.”
“And when they didn’t, you ghosted me,” Didi said, her anger fading to sadness.
“I’m sorry, Didi.” She seemed truly contrite. “I don’t know how else to apologize, but if you’d like, you can come in for coffee, and we can talk more. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“How many kids do you have?”
“I have one daughter. She has two little ones.”
Didi stared into the yard for a moment. “I have to go.”
Rhea brushed her hand on Didi’s arm. “Can I take a rain check on that coffee?”
“I’ll call you.” She left Rhea standing on the sidewalk. When she got into Kate’s car, she looked down in silence.
Kate chewed her lip, digging deep for the right words. “Um,” she finally said, placing a comforting hand on Didi’s. “Did I hear you say you’ll call her?”
Didi responded with a nod.
Kate gave her hand a light squeeze and in the gentlest of tones asked, “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
Still looking down, Didi mumbled, “I probably won’t.”
“Probably? How are you even considering it?”
“Can we please drive?”
Kate pulled away, intentionally driving into and knocking over Rhea’s plastic garbage and recycling bins. “What was all that talk earlier about you deserving better? What can a married woman possibly give you besides an inferiority complex?”
Summer Fling Page 20
