Not Until You (Hope Springs Book 3)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  “Sorry it took me so long to get here.” Sophie squeezed her lightly. “Spencer wanted my opinion on the gazebo he’s building in the garden.”

  Violet ignored the pang that shot through her middle. It wasn’t Sophie’s fault that she was living in wedded bliss while Violet was fighting to get through the day.

  “What happened to you guys last night? Is Nate okay?” Sophie let go and settled into her seat.

  Violet shrugged. “I have no idea if he’s okay.” Her voice contained a bitterness that she didn’t like to hear from herself. But she didn’t know how to make it go away.

  “What do you mean?” Sophie’s face reflected genuine concern, and Violet realized once more how good moving back to Hope Springs had been for her friend. The hardness that used to keep her from opening herself to others had softened into a kindness that came out in everything she did.

  “I mean he shut me out. I found him crumpled on the sidewalk, Soph, completely―” She searched for the word. “Broken.” There was no other way to describe it. “But he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I thought maybe it was because I tricked him into coming to the church.”

  “You tricked him?” Sophie’s voice held a reprimand, but she couldn’t be more disappointed in Violet than Violet was in herself.

  “I know I shouldn’t have.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “It’s just, he used to be in a Christian band and I thought―”

  “He was in a band?” Sophie’s mouth fell open.

  “I know, hard to believe, right? But for some reason, he stopped going to church somewhere along the line. And I thought if I could get him inside a church, he might, I don’t know―”

  “Come back?”

  Violet nodded. “But I don’t think that was the only thing, Soph. I think it was―” She broke off in frustration. “I don’t know.”

  “What makes you think it was more?” Sophie took the coffee the waitress handed her and added cream and sugar.

  “Have you ever looked into his eyes?”

  “I guess. They’re blue, aren’t they?”

  “They’re―” Violet stared out the window at the lake. “They’re like the lake in a storm, all churned up and conflicted and almost . . . haunted.”

  She could feel Sophie watching her, but she couldn’t return her gaze. Sophie had been close to Cade, too. What must she think about the fact that Violet had noticed another man’s eyes?

  “And he has scars,” she continued. “One on his knee. And one across his chest.”

  Sophie’s coffee cup clanked to the table harder than normal.

  “I mean―” Violet’s face warmed. “He had a nightmare that night we went to pick up the hutch. I went in to see what was wrong, and he had his shirt off, and he had a scar from here―” She touched her shoulder and drew a line diagonally across her chest. “To here.”

  “It sounds like―”

  “And that’s another thing.” Now that she had gotten going, Violet couldn’t stop. “That nightmare really shook him. But he couldn’t tell me about it. Even though I told him about mine.”

  “You have nightmares?” Hurt flashed in Sophie’s eyes for a second but then was replaced by concern.

  Violet reached across the table to grab her friend’s hand. “Not so much anymore. I wasn’t trying to keep them a secret from you. I just didn’t want to worry you when you had all the wedding stuff to deal with.”

  Sophie laid her other hand on top of Violet’s. “I always want to know, Vi, no matter what’s going on with me.”

  “I know.” She’d been silly to keep the dreams from Sophie. She was still getting used to her best friend being here for her again.

  “Anyway.” Sophie gave her a gentle smile. “He may not have come out and told you a lot about himself. But he’s let you learn a lot about him in other ways.”

  Violet gaped at her friend. What other ways were there?

  “Think about it, Vi.” Sophie took a long drink of coffee, watching her over the rim.

  Violet fidgeted under her scrutiny. Okay, fine, she knew Nate liked cookies and that he claimed not to like antiques, though she was pretty sure she was bringing him around on that one. She knew he was kind and protective and loved his dog. She knew he had a big heart that he kept guarded most of the time. She knew he had problems with his family and with church. But that was the thing―she didn’t know why.

  “I get your point,” she finally said. “But there are so many pieces missing. And he’s not willing to fill them in.”

  Sophie looked thoughtful. “You know his character, Vi. That’s not something to take lightly. The rest is just details. And maybe those details are too painful right now. Sometimes people’s scars run so deep that they can’t see the only way to heal them is to share them.”

  Violet turned that over in her mind. Nate did seem to be deeply scarred―not only physically but emotionally and spiritually.

  “Be patient.” Sophie’s voice had a gentle quality. “If you’re still there when he’s ready, he’ll tell you.”

  Violet ignored the strange looks from passing tourists as she speed walked toward Nate’s office building. After saying goodbye to Sophie, she’d spent the entire morning walking around town. Walking and thinking.

  And she’d realized that Sophie was right. It wasn’t important for her to know all the details of Nate’s life. What was important was that she knew him. Knew his heart.

  And she’d come to care about him, much as she’d tried not to.

  So she’d be patient with him. Wait for him to be ready to talk to her. And in the meantime, she’d give him the cookies she’d stopped at Peyton’s bakery to pick up.

  Their mouth-watering aroma drifted from the bag. Maybe she’d stay and eat one with him. If he wanted her to.

  She paused in the building’s entrance and read the small directory sign. Instead of slowing now that she’d stopped walking, her heart rate kicked up a notch. She pressed a hand to her stomach. It was silly to feel so nervous and excited to see Nate when she’d seen him every day for the past few weeks. But seeking him out at work felt like she was taking things a step farther.

  A baby step, maybe.

  But still a step.

  According to the directory, Nate’s office was on the second floor. She wandered down the hallway until she came to a staircase. She climbed it slowly to give her heart a second to calm down.

  The second-floor hallway was empty, with two doors leading off it. Neither was marked. She passed the first―she couldn’t picture Nate decorating with the big vase of fake flowers that stood outside it.

  Inside the next office, a young woman sat at a reception desk. Violet startled. Nate had never said anything about having a receptionist, but then, he didn’t talk about his work much, aside from the occasional updates on things with her lease. So far Talmadge had rejected every other property Nate had shown him. Which was why she had to figure out a way to make up the rest of the back rent she owed―and soon.

  But she could deal with that later. For now, she just wanted to see Nate. To reassure him that his aloofness wasn’t going to scare her away.

  “Can I help you?” The receptionist was gorgeous, with blond hair that flowed in a sleek line to her shoulders and high cheekbones defined by perfect makeup. Violet ignored a pinprick of jealousy as she glanced at her running shorts and tried to tuck a stray curl into her messy ponytail.

  “I’m looking for Nate Benson.” She tried to keep her voice professional.

  A young guy emerged from behind the wall that separated the reception area from the rest of the office. “His office is down the hall on the left side. The one with the big vase. But you might want to knock first. I think he’s in there with his girlfriend.”

  Violet’s heart faltered.

  His girlfriend?

  She worked to cover the shock she was sure showed on her face. “Thank you.”

  She slipped out of the room into the hallway, heart thudding dully against her ribs. Nate had a
girlfriend?

  The guy had to be wrong. Nate wasn’t the kind of man who would string two women along.

  Or was he? Maybe she knew him less than she thought she did. Which was barely at all.

  She should just go.

  But before she could take a step, the office down the hall opened, and Nate ushered a woman through it. Violet recognized her as the same woman who’d visited his apartment right after he’d moved in. He’d said she was a business associate.

  But she was carrying a pizza box and a water bottle.

  They were facing the other direction, and neither of them noticed her.

  “You did not seriously do that.” The woman’s laugh carried down the hallway, and Violet’s hand tightened on the bag of cookies.

  “I promise you I did.” His rich voice was warm and uninhibited. Unlike last night, when it’d taken all her effort to get two words from him.

  “I’d better get going.” The woman pulled her keys out of her purse. “Lunch was a brilliant idea, by the way. It was nice to have a few minutes to stop and eat for a change.”

  Nate laughed. “No problem. See you next time.”

  The woman set off down the hallway, and Violet stood frozen. She’d been stupid to come. Stupid to think anything was developing between her and Nate. She’d let her own loneliness convince her there was something there that wasn’t. It wasn’t that his past was too painful to share.

  It was that he didn’t want to share it with her.

  So she’d wait until he went into his office and then slink away and enjoy the cookies herself at home. She tried to loosen her grip on the bag, but it slipped from her hands. The fall wasn’t far, but the sound of the bag hitting the floor was enough to make Nate turn his head.

  A smile lifted his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes, which were still guarded. Or rather, guarded again. She imagined they’d been plenty unguarded when he’d been talking to his “business associate.”

  “Hey.” He strode toward her. “What are you doing here?”

  He leaned forward as if he was about to hug her but then pulled back.

  Violet tried to mask the hurt lancing her heart. He’d never offered her anything more than friendship. If she’d come to expect more, that was her own fault.

  His eyes widened as they fell on the bag. “Are those cookies from Peyton’s?”

  She passed them to him. “Just my way of apologizing for dragging you to the concert last night.”

  She moved to step around him, but he laid a hand on her arm. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry for ruining the evening.”

  She shrugged. The best thing she could do right now was be indifferent. Or at least pretend to be. “It was no big deal.”

  Confusion and hurt clouded his expression as he studied her. He grabbed a cookie out of the bag and held it out to her.

  “No thanks.” She pushed past the outstretched cookie and sped down the hallway.

  She couldn’t stay here one second longer.

  Chapter 25

  Nate stared after Violet’s retreating form. He must have done something wrong. But he had no idea what.

  He took a bite of the cookie he still held in his hand, but he barely tasted it.

  What did it mean that she’d sought him out like this? After last night, he’d been sure she’d never want to see him again.

  He’d shown her his weakness. His most vulnerable side. And he’d noticed the hurt in her eyes when he’d refused to talk to her about it.

  He’d left early this morning so he wouldn’t have to run into her, wouldn’t have to face her questions about why he’d had a minor breakdown over a concert of all things.

  He took another bite of cookie, then dropped it into the bag. It was delicious as always, but he was too stuffed from the pizza he’d shared with Officer Jensen.

  He drew up short outside his office door.

  Was that what this was about? Did Violet think there was something going on between him and Officer Jensen?

  That was ridiculous. But also . . . touching.

  When was the last time anyone had been jealous for his attention?

  Nate stood in the doorway, undecided.

  Should he go after her, tell her she’d misunderstood who Officer Jensen was? But the moment he’d decided he should, another thought came crashing in to smash the plan. If he told her that, he’d have to tell her who Officer Jensen really was.

  And he wasn’t sure he was ready to do that.

  He shuffled slowly into his office.

  Maybe this was for the best anyway. He’d let his heart get too far into this already.

  Worse, he’d let her heart get into it, too. He didn’t deserve a woman like her, and he knew it. He should let things end before he risked hurting her more than he already had.

  A part of him refused to agree, arguing that he owed it to her to tell her how he felt. To sweep her off her feet and promise he’d care for her forever.

  That was the part he wanted to listen to.

  But before he could follow her, the office phone gave the shrill ring Nate had come to despise.

  He sighed, resigned. If that wasn’t a sign that he’d been about to do the wrong thing, he didn’t know what was.

  He returned to his desk and picked up the receiver. Lately, Dad had only been calling every few days. Could be that he was starting to trust Nate again. Or could be that he was sick of hearing Nate’s voice every day. It didn’t really matter to Nate. Either way, not having to check in with Dad every day was a plus.

  “Did you look at that clause yet?” Might as well get right to the point. Nate had sent Dad Violet’s lease weeks ago, with the unclear clause highlighted, but so far Dad hadn’t said what he was going to do about it.

  “I had my attorneys look into it.” Dad did not sound happy. “They agree that according to that clause, if they make up their back rent, they have until the end of this month to renew.”

  Nate allowed himself a brief fist pump. “Great. I’ll take Talmadge out to a few more places, then. He wasn’t willing to look at them before, but―”

  “Slow up, Nathan.” Dad’s voice was controlled, as always. “Talmadge still needs to get into that building. Do you think these people―this Cade and Violet Somers―are going to make the back rent?”

  “It’s just Violet. Her husband Cade died a few years ago.”

  Dad was silent, and Nate took it as a sign that he didn’t care.

  “And, yes, I think there’s a good chance she’ll be able to make the back rent. She’s more than halfway there already.”

  “That can’t happen, Nathan.” Dad’s voice was hard. “Talmadge wants that spot, and he’s going to get it, one way or another.”

  “If she pays the rent, you can’t―” Nate forced himself to stop and take a swig from the water bottle on his desk. He needed a second to get control of the anger boiling low in his stomach.

  “You’re not hearing me, Nathan. Whether she pays the rent or not, whether she wants to leave or not, whether you’re sleeping with her or not, she needs to be out of there.”

  Nate choked on his water. “Sleeping with her?”

  “Talmadge told me what’s going on. Said he saw you groping her in the middle of her store. I would have thought your family would have meant more to you than a few cheap thrills, but I guess some things never change.”

  Nate chomped down on his tongue, hard, and counted to ten before answering.

  “First of all, we are not sleeping together.” How dare his father imply that? “And I was not groping her. We’re friends and I was giving her a hug.”

  “Frankly, Nathan,” Dad continued as if Nate hadn’t said anything, “I’m surprised you would jeopardize your chance to see your mother and sister like this. All for some―”

  “Don’t say it.” Nate shoved to his feet, his voice hard and firm.

  “Don’t say what?” Dad feigned innocence.

  “Whatever you were about to say, don’t say it.
Violet is a kind and wonderful woman, and I’m not going to sit here and listen to you drag her name through the mud.”

  “If you care about her that much, I’d suggest you convince her to find a new location for her store. Because she’s going to be out of there one way or another come next month.”

  “Why?” Nate dropped into his chair and scrubbed a hand down his cheek. “Why does it have to be this spot?”

  Dad didn’t say anything for a minute, and Nate figured he wasn’t going to deign to answer.

  “It’s the spot Talmadge wants. And he’s offering a lot for it. I don’t think I have to remind you that we have some pretty large medical bills to pay off. Or had you forgotten?”

  Nate dropped his head to the desk. Of course he hadn’t forgotten.

  “When can I see them?” He didn’t know how much longer he could stand not talking to his mom or his sister.

  “Stop yanking Talmadge around to all these other properties he doesn’t want and get this done. Then we’ll talk.”

  “And if she pays her back rent? You won’t be able to cancel the lease then.”

  “Don’t play hardball with me, Nathan. We both know I could plow her under in court. She doesn’t have the resources to pay her rent, let alone deal with court fees. You don’t want things to get ugly.”

  Nate shook his head. He was pretty sure they already had. “So you’re going to kick her out of there, regardless of what her contract says?”

  Dad hesitated, then spoke slowly and deliberately. “I’m not. You are.”

  Nate’s feet dragged across the sidewalk. Even though he’d walked as slowly as he could, he’d arrived at Violet’s store way too quickly. He’d debated coming. After the way she’d fled his office earlier, she obviously didn’t want anything to do with him. And he didn’t come bearing good news.

  But she deserved to know that he was running out of ideas to save her store.

  He didn’t want to tell her to give up. But what else could she do?

  He let himself into the back door of the apartment building, taking a second to steel himself. The light was on in her workshop, so he pushed the door open. But she wasn’t back there. He continued to the front of the store. His breath got caught halfway to his lungs the moment he saw her. She was sitting on that Victorian couch she loved so much, the one she’d told him she imagined a young couple had spent hours sitting on, just talking, learning everything there was to know about each other. Nate had recoiled from the idea. The thought of someone knowing everything about him was too terrifying.