Heaven Right Here

by Lutishia Lovely

  Stacy’s phone rang. As she reached for her purse, she remembered it had rung earlier while the nurse had been performing the mammogram. Suddenly she wondered if it was about her son. Was Darius all right? That was the last thing she needed, she thought as she raced frantically to find the phone that somehow always ended up at the very bottom of her purse. By the time she found it, it had stopped ringing. Hope. Stacy breathed a sigh of relief. Just as she was about to dial her number, the nurse came back into the room.

  “Sorry that took so long,” she said. “We’re understaffed today.”

  The nurse took another look at Stacy’s chart and then noticed her patient’s steady foot tapping against the floor. She sat down next to her and put a soft hand on her arm.

  “Please try not to worry,” she said sincerely. “Most of the time, these tests prove to be nothing more than lumpy tissue. Having said that, we would like to biopsy the lump as a precaution and have the tissues sent to our lab for processing. The radiologist is with another patient right now, and the procedure itself will take about thirty minutes. Do you need to call your employer?”

  Stacy’s fear returned, tripled. “You want to do it right now?”

  “Yes, we believe the faster a diagnosis is determined, the better for everyone. If it’s benign, you can have the reassurance of the test, and if for some reason we get another result, treatment can begin as soon as possible. Okay?”

  “I guess so. So you’re going to actually cut off some of my breast? I may need to call my mother.”

  “No, Stacy, what we’re going to do is a minimally invasive procedure called image-guided needle biopsy. It’s an alternative to surgery that employs the use of ultrasound. It’s basically painless, treated with just local anesthesia. You’ll be fine.”

  The rest of the visit passed in a fear-induced mental fog. The nurse brought Stacy a stack of magazines, but later Stacy wouldn’t have been able to tell anybody what she’d read. It took almost an hour before the radiologist got to her and another hour for the procedure. The nurse had been right—except for the prick of the initial needle to deliver the anesthesia, the procedure hadn’t really hurt at all. It looked like the most painful part would be waiting for the results. It would probably be the longest five days of her life.

  36

  The Tea Party

  The closer Hope got to La Jolla, the stupider she felt. What in the hell am I doing? She knew it would be good to get another opinion, but Stacy wasn’t answering her phone, and she wasn’t sure she wanted Frieda’s advice. She thought about calling Vivian but just as quickly dismissed that idea. She didn’t want to come off looking like a weak, paranoid woman, which was rather how she was feeling right now. In the end, she decided it was better to look foolish now than to wonder later.

  “Exit La Jolla Village Drive,” the GPS computer voice intoned. Hope veered onto the exit ramp to follow its instructions. A couple turns later, a beautiful, boutique-style hotel was in front of her. It looked expensive and Mediterranean and … romantic. Hope waved away the valet, parked, and walked into the hotel.

  “Oh, Cy, forgive my unprofessional bare feet. But I’ve been in these heels all day, and my feet say enough!”

  Millicent walked past Cy into the large, wellappointed suite. She carried a couple of paper bundles and a briefcase.

  “Here—let me help,” Cy said, taking the bundles out of her arms.

  “Whew, thanks. I never thought I’d like staying home rather than being full time in the workplace, but I can’t say I miss it. Especially wearing heels all day every day. But it makes a difference. Our church is very casual, so I hardly wear heels now unless Jack and I go out.”

  “Your life sounds so different than your Kingdom days,” Cy said as he unrolled the bundle of papers to reveal several separate sheets of what were clearly floor plans. “You are so different.”

  “And that’s a good thing. By the way, Jack should be here in about ten minutes.”

  “No worries at all. In fact, I just ordered room service. Nothing fancy, just sandwiches and something to drink. I didn’t know how long this would take, but I’m anxious to get this part done so we can build the model and I can finally let Hope in on the surprise.”

  “Goodness, she doesn’t know?” Millicent frowned slightly. “I don’t know, Cy. Most women I know would definitely want to be in on the planning of their home’s design.”

  Cy shook his head. “Oh, no, the house layout won’t be a surprise. We’ve discussed it in-depth. And we both agree on building here in La Jolla. She just doesn’t know the land I purchased was for our dream home, or that it is six months away from completion. I’m hoping to give it to her as a birthday gift or for whichever holiday is close to the time it’s completed. Do you think she’ll be pleased?”

  “If you two have already agreed on everything you’re building, I think she’ll be thrilled.”

  Cy said nothing but just nodded his head as he scoured over the plans Millicent had brought.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I volunteered to bring the plans over. Jack was going to have his assistant do it, but honestly, I wanted to talk to you.”

  This time Cy looked up. “About what?”

  “I don’t miss my old life, but I do wonder what’s going on with everybody. I know I should call Vivian and a few others, but it seems the longer you go without calling, the harder it is.”

  “I’m sure Vivian would love to see you guys, Millicent. Derrick too.”

  “And I’d love to see them. And believe it or not, I really want to get to know Hope better. She seems like a woman with her head on straight, and now that you and Jack are in business together, well, I just hope we can put the past in the past and embrace this wonderful now.”

  “I want that too.”

  “So tell me, how is life at good ol’ Kingdom Citizens Christian Center?”

  “Steady growing, as usual. We’re behind on the building of the new sanctuary but—” A knock at the door interrupted him. “Excuse me. That’s probably room service.”

  It was, but the person standing behind the rolling tray was not who he had expected.

  “Hope! What on earth are you doing here?”

  “I could ask you the same question!” She almost ran Cy over with the cart. He jumped out of the way as she barreled into the room, having given the waiter fifty dollars and a smile to let her “serve her husband.”

  Once inside, she wasted no time ripping into an incredulous Millicent, who’d been stunned into silence.

  “You just can’t give up, can you? Just can’t let it go. Even a husband and a baby isn’t enough. Being first lady isn’t enough!”

  Millicent finally found her voice. “Hope, please this is totally not what you—”

  “Baby—”

  “Don’t you dare!” Hope said as she whirled around to face her husband. “You lied to me!”

  “Hope, I—”

  “Lied! Time and time again. I asked you point blank this morning where you were going. Uh, let me see, if I recollect correctly, that answer would have been ‘a meeting with Charlie?’ Well, unless Charlie has turned from a White man into a Black woman, you’ve got some explaining to do. No, never mind. On second thought, a picture is worth a thousand words.”

  Cy was still so shocked he could barely think. But he knew Hope was an intelligent, logical woman who would listen to reason. And truth. It was time to let her in on what was going on.

  But he didn’t get a chance to. As he walked over to the table where the plans lay, Hope walked over to the serving tray.

  “You’re still chasing after him, still have the hots for my man?” she asked Millicent on her way over. “Well, maybe this will cool your adulterous ass down.”

  And with that she threw the full pitcher of Numi certified organic Rainforest Green Mate Lemon Myrtle Green Tea into Millicent’s shocked face.

  Some of the tea splashed into Millicent’s open mouth. She sputtered and spit, even as she tried to recover f
rom the shock of Hope’s attack. She tried to speak, but no words came out. So she just stood there, dripping, and looking at Cy like WTF?

  Cy was even more shocked than Millicent. Hope was almost to the door before he recovered and went after her.

  “Hope—now, you just wait a minute!”

  Hope flung open the door and ran into the hard chest of Jack Kirtz. “Whoa, there, little lady. Where’s the fire!”

  It took him a few seconds to realize there had actually been one. First, Cy pushed past him and ran down the hall after said little lady and then he walked into the suite to see his dripping-wet wife looking lost and forlorn in the middle of the living room.

  “What in God’s name is going on here?” Jack asked. He rushed over to his wife. “Millie, honey, are you all right?”

  “I’m fine, Jack.”

  “What happened? Did Cy do this?” Jack turned to leave the room. “Why, I’ll—”

  “Jack, no, it’s not Cy’s fault. Please, just come help me.”

  Cy caught up with Hope at the elevator. Grabbing her arm, he turned her around forcibly. “You are not going anywhere until you learn the truth about what’s happening here.”

  Hope snatched her arm out of Cy’s grasp and glared at him.

  “Hope, what is wrong with you? This is nothing like what you’re imagining.” When she continued glaring but said nothing, Cy took a deep breath and continued. “It’s about us, Hope, and what I was trying to make a surprise. When you come back to the suite, you’ll see floor plans for our dream house. Jack recommended the architect. Charlie is doing the construction, and yes, he is coming to this meeting, and because Jack was delayed by a meeting at his church, Millicent simply brought the plans over for him. She knew how excited I was to get started on … on my gift to you.”

  As if on cue, the elevator dinged, and the door opened. Out walked a cowboy-hat-wearing Charlie Seagram, being his usual, jovial self. “Well, my goodness,” Charlie said when he saw Cy by the elevator. “I know I’m special, but really, Cy, you didn’t have to wait by the elevator. I would have found my way to the room.” He turned to Hope with an outstretched hand. “Charlie Seagram, ma’am. Pleased to meet you.”

  Hope felt as if she were waking up to find herself in a bad dream. She looked at Charlie blankly and then at Cy as tears began shining in her eyes.

  Charlie looked at the couple and finally picked up on the tension he’d missed earlier. “Uh, Cy, is everything all right, here?”

  “Jack’s in the suite,” Cy answered. “The last door on your left.”

  Charlie looked from Cy to Hope and back again before he turned and walked down the hall.

  “I am so sorry, Cy,” Hope said softly. “I read an e-mail Millicent sent you and—”

  “You’re reading my e-mails? After all this time, all the talks, you still think something is up between me and Millicent?”

  “No, I just—I mean.” Hope swallowed and began again. “You know how my computer has been locking up. I went into your office to check my e-mails, and when the screen came up, your inbox was open. I saw her name and clicked on it. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

  Cy vacillated between pity, incredulity, and straight-up pissed. He shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Hope, but this woman here? She’s not the one I married. We need to figure this out, but first, we need to go back and try to undo the damage your assumptions and ill-conceived actions have caused.”

  Hope followed Cy like a recalcitrant child. She couldn’t have felt worse if he’d called her a b or a ho and told her she sho’ was ugly. She would almost have preferred a cussing out. His controlled patience underscored her having been out of control. Hope always prayed against experiencing an earthquake, but now, as they walked down the hall, she hoped that one would happen right now, if only where she was walking, so the earth could swallow her up and deliver her from the mess she’d made.

  As they turned the corner to the suite, Millicent was coming out. Millicent hesitated a moment when she saw them walking toward her and then straightened her back and began again with renewed resolve.

  Hope started talking while there was still distance between them. “Millicent, I’m so sorry.”

  “You should be, Hope.”

  Millicent turned to Cy. “I told Charlie I tripped. Your professional reputation is still intact.”

  “I’m very sorry, Millicent,” Hope said again. Her emotions were still roiling; it was the best she could do.

  Cy stepped in. “Please tell me what I can do to remedy this situation.”

  “It’s okay, Cy. I’m okay, really.”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out several hundreds. “At least let me handle the cleaning bill and your hair …”

  “You just take care of Hope. I’ll be fine.” Millicent continued on toward the elevator.

  “We’ll be in touch!” Cy called after her.

  They both watched as Millicent continued down the hall, head held high, wet blouse clinging to her back. Once she turned the corner, Cy and Hope turned toward each other.

  “I think I need to see a doctor,” Hope blurted.

  “I don’t know what to say, baby. But whatever is going on with you, it needs to get handled.”

  “Mama told me depression runs in our family. I’ve tried to deny something was really wrong, but … Cy, I am truly, really so sorry for everything: not trusting you, looking at your mail, not asking point blank about you and Millicent. This is just so wrong, and it’s my fault.”

  Cy looked at his watch. He had an appointment after this one, and it could not be postponed. “We’ll talk when I get home. Are you okay to drive?”

  Hope started to cop an attitude and then changed her mind. When you acted like you were insane, this was how you were treated.

  “I’m fine, Cy,” she said softly. “When do you think you’ll be home?”

  “I don’t know.”

  With that, Cy turned and walked toward the suite of the new infamous LaJolla “tea party.” He did not look back.

  37

  Life and Death

  “I think I just ruined my marriage.” Stacy had finally answered when Hope called.

  “Girl, now you’re sounding as dramatic as Frieda,” Stacy said dryly.

  “No, Stacy, I’m serious.” Hope relayed the day’s events in minute detail, so someone would have to pay Stacy not to understand how serious this was.

  “Things could be worse,” Stacy said after Hope’s long diatribe.

  That’s when Hope knew something was not right. The woman she was talking to didn’t have Hope’s toe, knee, or pinkie finger, much less her back. “Did you not hear what I just said? I poured a pitcher of tea over Millicent Sims’s head!”

  “Payback is a mutha—” Stacy mumbled.

  “It wasn’t payback, Stacy. I thought that she—wait a minute. Something’s wrong. What is it?”

  “Nothing. Not yet anyway.”

  “What am I supposed to make of that cryptic answer? Is this about Darius?” Hope asked that question to be polite; with Stacy it was hardly ever about anything else.

  “I found a lump in my breast.”

  It was the first time Stacy had said the words aloud, and it stopped conversation on both ends for several seconds.

  When conversation restarted, it was Stacy who spoke. “Two nights ago, after the prayer service with Rev Thicke, I went home, took a bath and, while sponging myself, felt this lump, about the size of a quarter, under my left breast.”

  “Oh, my gosh, Stacy!” Hope was quiet a moment. She didn’t know what to say. “Did you go to the doctor?”

  “That’s where I was when you were blowing up my phone. They did a biopsy on me and sent the tissue to a lab. I’m supposed to know in three to five days whether it’s benign.”

  Hope was quiet. There was life and death in the sense that she didn’t think she could live without Cy. And then there was life and death, as in cancer, the word bo
th women had thought but neither had yet said.

  “Look, Stacy. I’m almost back in LA. Why don’t you come over?”

  “Naw, girl. It looks like you’ve got your own set of ugly going on. Plus, I stopped by my mother’s house when I left the hospital, and nothing can make you feel better than a mama. She helped me put this whole thing in perspective and told me not to focus on something that isn’t even fact yet. The nurse said most tests come back benign and that probably mine will too. I tell you what, Hope. It just makes me more thankful of everything, you know? Here I’ve been fighting with Darius over whether he should see his own son, and with Bo, who has legal claim to somebody who doesn’t even want to be with me. What have I been thinking the past two-plus years? I haven’t been thinking—that’s the problem. I think this little scare is simply God’s way of getting my attention. And I’m listening. It started the night Rev Thicke spoke, and it was just reemphasized today. From now on, there’s no more half stepping when it comes to my faith. From now on, with my whole heart, I’m living for God.”

  It was after nine PM when Hope, waiting in the sitting area of their master suite, heard the elevator doors open to the penthouse. It was a moment she’d both been anticipating and dreading with equal measure. She already knew there was no excuseshe could offer, no argument she could make, that would defend the day’s actions. So she was willing to offer her sincere apologies and ask for forgiveness, and then it would be up to Cy from there.

  She waited, hearing Cy move around in the living room and then in the kitchen. She heard the television turn on and then off. She thought she heard him in the office. He was in no more of a hurry to face the inevitable conversation than she was. So, taking the lead, she got up from the sitting area and walked toward the door. Cy was coming in at the same time.