Sticks and Stones (Vista Falls #5)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “You are. My god,” he said, leaning back against the railing as he felt the energy drain from his body. “How can you even doubt that?”

  “What have you ever done to prove it, Dad?” she demanded, crossing her arms as the tears continued to fall. “You were never there for us and you know it!”

  “Ramsey, please,” Gianna whispered. “That’s not fair.”

  “Not fair?” Ramsey screeched. “You think it’s fair that he treated you like some whore?”

  “Watch your mouth, young lady,” Gunnar warned, pushing off the railing before closing in on her. “You get to be mad at me. That’s fine, I can take it. But don’t you ever let me hear you talk to your mother that way again.”

  “Why? You both know it’s true. You bought her pretty things so she stayed. You didn’t love her, wouldn’t marry her, treated her like shit, yet she stayed with you for years. Why? I’ll tell you why! Because you bought her that fancy car with the Beverly Hills address and—”

  “Shut. Up.” Gunnar glared at his daughter, knowing her words must be tearing her mother to shreds.

  “You expect me to respect you?” Ramsey asked, narrowing her eyes, challenging him. “You expect me to respect either one of you? You’ve spent your whole life chasing the almighty dollar and she’s spent her whole life spending them.” She tossed her hands up in the air. “She claims to hate your money so much, yet how do you think she bought this house? It sure as hell wasn’t with her money!”

  Gunnar was momentarily stunned, but he quickly found his voice. “It wasn’t my money. It was our money and your mother had every right to take as much as needed, to make sure you were all taken care of.”

  “No, it wasn’t hers, none of it was hers ’cause you wouldn’t even marry her. Why, Dad? Did you have a pretty young thing on the side? Or maybe a few who—”

  “Go to your room,” he said between clenched teeth. He’d never been tempted to strike either of his daughters, not even a spanking when they were young, but they’d never pushed him to the limit like this before. “Right now. Get out of my sight.”

  “Gladly, ’cause I never want to see you again!”

  Gunnar braced his hands on the granite counter and hung his head. “Wow. I didn’t see that coming.”

  “I’m sorry,” Gianna said, touching his arm. “That wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “Yes, I did.” Which made it hurt even more. “But you didn’t deserve it, and I hate that you had to hear her say those things about you.”

  “I guess our girls were more upset about our separation than we thought, huh?” She slid on to the stool at the breakfast bar next to him. “They’ve obviously been holding a lot in, but one thing’s for sure. They’re of the same mind.”

  “Yeah, they both hate me,” he said, feeling the truth of those words reverberate around inside him, cutting him to the core.

  “They could never hate you,” Gianna said gently. “They’re just teenagers lashing out. Saying whatever they can think of to hurt us.”

  “And the things she said didn’t hurt you?” His anger resurfaced when tears pooled in Gianna’s eyes and she tried to look away to hide them. “Look at me,” he said, curling his hand around the back of her neck until his gaze met hers. “I knew it was never about the money for you, sweetheart.”

  She covered her face with her hands as her body trembled with sobs. “But she’s right. I lived the life. I drove the fancy car. Lived in the big house.” She sniffled. “Let someone else clean it, do the laundry—”

  “Hey.” He pulled her into his arms. “That’s just the way things were there, you know that. You never asked for any of it. I gave it to you because it was the only way I knew how to express how much you meant to me. I wanted to make you happy, the only way I knew how.”

  “Yeah, but by letting you spoil me like that, we sent the wrong message to our kids. Now they think I was a gold digger who was content to let a man support her.” She groaned, resting her palm against her forehead. “God, I should have seen that coming. We never talked about it while we were living in L.A., I guess because it was the norm in our old neighbourhood.”

  Yeah, their street was a mix of celebrities, athletes, business moguls, cosmetic surgeons, even a big-time movie producer. And unfortunately not a lot of gender equality. He wished he’d noticed that before.

  “Maybe we made a mistake, letting them grow up in that environment.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know, babe. I just wanted to give them the best. The kind of opportunities I never had. The best school…” Clothes, shoes, trinkets. There was no question. He’d spoiled them, trying to compensate for the fact he was too busy making money to be a real dad.

  “Maybe the mistake was moving here.” She looked around the house she clearly loved. “It was a culture shock for them. Maybe I’m being selfish. They hate it here. It was only a matter of time before they started resenting me for ruining their lives.”

  Gunnar finally realized how much of herself Gianna had sacrificed to keep everyone else happy. He wasn’t about to let her leave the first place she’d felt at home in years just to please him and their spoiled daughters. “You love it here,” he said, stroking her back. “Anyone can see that. You’re thriving here in a way you never did in L.A.”

  She sighed. “I know, but it won’t be long before they’re off in college. Maybe I can come back then. They probably wouldn’t mind spending summers here when they’re older.”

  Gunnar would love nothing more than to have his family back under the roof they’d always called home, but for once he was determined to put Gianna first. “I love you too much to let you make that kind of sacrifice.” He wiped her tears with the pad of this thumb. “You deserve to be happy and you weren’t happy there. So as much as I’d love for us to be together again as a family, it can’t be there.”

  She frowned. “I thought you’d jump at the chance to have us come back with you.” She hesitated. “Or has something changed? Was last night… a mistake?”

  He stood between her legs and slipped his hands under her hair, linking his fingers behind her neck. “I’ll tell you what it was. The best damn night of my life. I’ve never experienced that kind of connection with anyone. And sure, I wish I could have gotten out of my head and quit worrying about the future, but that doesn’t change the fact you and I connected on a whole new level last night.”

  He held his breath, waiting for her to agree. When she didn’t, he felt his stomach bottom out. “Or do you not feel the same way?”

  “Of course I do.” She wrapped her hands around his wrists. “But you’re leaving again and I don’t know when or if you’ll be back. Neither do you. I’m afraid, Gunnar.”

  “Of what?”

  “That you don’t belong here and I don’t belong in L.A., so how the hell do we work this out?”

  He didn’t have all the answers, nor would he pretend to. “I don’t know. But here’s what I do know for sure. I love you and those girls more than my own life, and I’d do anything to make you happy.” He touched his forehead against hers. “I also know that I love music. Though it’s a distant second to you guys, my life would be pretty empty without it. It lights me up in a way nothing else ever has.”

  “I know that. That’s why I could never encourage you to leave it behind. You love it too much.”

  And that was the reason he loved her so much… because she got him.

  ***

  Gianna wished she had all the answers, but she didn’t. And the man she’d somehow managed to fall in love with all over again was walking away… just like she’d watched him do hundreds of times before. Only this time it might be for good.

  She waved as he blew her a kiss and backed out of the driveway with a lopsided smile. He’d opted to drive instead of fly. The trip would take him a full day, but he said he needed time to think before he returned to the demands of real life. The life they’d been living together felt pretty real to her. It hurt to think he didn’t s
ee it the same way.

  “Is he gone?” Ramsey asked, sinking down on the bottom step as her mother closed the door.

  Gianna turned to face her daughter. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, evidence that she and Gunnar weren’t the only ones in pain after their fight. As a mom, part of her wanted to scold Ramsey, but the other part of her wanted to hold her and absorb her pain.

  “He’s gone,” she said, taking a fortifying breath as she felt her anger fade away. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

  Ramsey leaned her head against the wooden railing. “No, I never wanted that. You think he hates me now?”

  Gianna walked over and eased in next to Ramsey on the narrow stair. “He could never hate you. You know that.”

  She leaned her head on her mom’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for the things I said to you. I was way out of line.”

  “Apology accepted.” Gianna had always taught her daughters to forgive and forget. Now she had to be willing to do the same. “But I don’t really blame you for calling me out the way you did… about spending your dad’s money. I’m sure that’s the way it must have looked to you.”

  Gianna had never been one to spend an excessive amount of money on designer clothes and shoes. Those things simply didn’t give her pleasure. But she had enjoyed the nice vacations and the beach house where they’d spent their summers. She used to walk along the beach and collect shells for her collection. Gunnar used to smile indulgently when she came back with a pretty one, but it was a simple thing that made her happier than shopping on Rodeo Drive ever would.

  “No, it didn’t.” She shook her head. “Not really. Compared to most of my friend’s moms, you lived like a pauper.”

  Gianna laughed in spite of herself. “Excuse me?”

  “I didn’t mean to insult you,” she said with a half-smile so much like Gunnar’s that Gianna’s chest tightened at the sight of it. “I just meant that you weren’t afraid to drop us off at school in sweats, while the other moms were decked out in full makeup, with their hair and nails done.”

  “I guess they were.” Gianna never felt she’d fit in there, but she didn’t really care. She’d made a few friends who weren’t as shallow and materialistic as the others, and that was enough for her.

  “And you didn’t make a career of shopping the way they did.” She rolled her eyes. “I think they just did that ’cause they were bored.” Looking thoughtful, she asked, “Is that why you got a job when we moved here, ’cause you were tired of being bored?”

  “Honestly?” Gianna curled her arms around her legs, pulling them into her chest. “I think I was just ready to re-invent myself. I’d been living for other people for so long that I guess I forgot the simple little things that used to make me happy. I loved flowers.” She smiled. “In fact, I used to work in a flower shop when I was in high school. Did I ever tell you that?”

  Ramsey shook her head. “You never talk a lot about what it was like for you growing up. Why is that?”

  Gianna shrugged. “I guess I thought it would seem boring compared to the glamorous lives you guys were living. There wasn’t much to do where we lived. We went to school, played sports, worked part-time, hung out with friends. That’s about it.”

  “So, like Vista Falls then?” Ramsey grinned when Gianna nudged her with her shoulder.

  “Exactly like Vista Falls.” She sighed. “I wanted you guys to love it here, but it’s obvious you don’t.”

  “We don’t hate it,” Ramsey said carefully. “Sure, it’s different from L.A., but we could probably get used to it.”

  “You really think so?” Gianna asked, trying not to get her hopes up.

  “You love it, don’t you?” Ramsey asked, avoiding the question. “Like, love-love it.”

  “I do.” She bit her lip, weighing her words carefully. “But you guys deserve to be happy too, and if you’re not here, then maybe we need to find some sort of compromise.”

  “But you hated Beverly Hills, Mom.”

  She’d never said as much, but she’d never claimed to like it either. “I didn’t hate it. It just never felt like home to me. You guys grew up there, so it was the only place you’d ever known. It was different for me. I was like a fish out of water there.”

  “So you wouldn’t think about going back?”

  Going back to Beverly Hills wouldn’t be a compromise. It would mean her giving in. And Gunnar was right, that wasn’t fair. “Maybe we could find somewhere else to live in L.A.”

  “With Dad?”

  “I don’t know what your dad’s plans are,” she admitted. “I’m not even sure he knows. That’s what he’s trying to figure out.”

  “So he’s not sure if he wants to be with us?” she asked, sounding annoyed.

  “I didn’t say that. But he has a lot of things to figure out, with respect to his career and—”

  “Why does it always come back to his career?” she asked, scowling. “Why can’t he put us first for once?”

  “That’s not fair, Ramsey. Your dad loves you and he’s worked hard to give you an amazing life. If you knew the obstacles he’s had to overcome to get where he is, you might understand why he’s so reluctant to give it up.”

  “Why do you always defend him and make excuses for him?”

  “I don’t.” At least she didn’t think she did. “I’m just trying to make you understand where he’s coming from.”

  “I’m mad at him,” she said, pursing her lips. “But I really love him too, Mom.” She leaned against her mother’s shoulder. “I want him to be here. With us. Vista Falls wouldn’t be so bad if Dad were here too. We’re making new friends, so we don’t miss the old ones as much. But we only have one dad.”

  Gianna’s heart pained when she thought about how much this separation had hurt all of them. “Believe me when I tell you that being away from you guys is as hard for him as it is for you and your sister.”

  “Are you guys still in love?” Ramsey asked, looking at her out of the corner of her eye. “Do you still want to be together?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what’s keeping you apart?”

  “Your dad needs to figure some things out, like I said.”

  “And you’ll be here waiting for him when he does?”

  Gianna put her arm around Ramsey. “We’ll be here waiting for him when he does, baby. ’Cause that’s what families do.”

  ***

  Gunnar pushed the button to connect the call when Ramsey’s cell phone number flashed across his screen. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Can you talk, Dad?”

  Her voice sounded soft and uncertain, weakening his resolved. No way could he stay mad at her. “The reception’s a little sketchy here, so forgive me if I cut out on you.”

  “I should be the one begging your forgiveness.”

  He’d put a few hundred miles between him and his girls, and Ramsey’s spiteful words echoed in his ears for half of them. “No begging required. But I’m listening.”

  “I’m sorry, Dad.” A long pause followed. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

  “Did you apologize to your mother?” he asked without letting her off the hook.

  “Yeah, we’re good.”

  He knew Gianna had been hurt, but he was just as certain she wouldn’t hold it against their daughter indefinitely. At the end of the day, Gianna was a mom, and her connection with her girls was the most important thing in the world to her.

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “So, can you forgive me?”

  “Yes.” He hesitated, giving her a minute to collect her thoughts as he passed the fast food restaurant he’d intended to stop at. “But the way you talked to us… that’s not cool. You can get angry with us or disagree with the things we say or do, but you can’t disrespect us. That I won’t tolerate.”

  “I hear you.”

  “Do you? For real?”

  “Yeah, Dad. It won’t happen again.”

  “Good.” He reached for the bot
tled water in his cup holder as he approached a red light. “How’s your sister?”

  “We talked. I think she’s going to call you later.”

  “Okay.” He tipped the water bottle back as the driver of the next car gaped at him, obviously wondering if he was seeing things. Gunnar already missed Vista Falls, where the people didn’t seem to care that he was famous.

  “And how’s your mom? Is she still upset?” He hated leaving Gianna to sort through her feelings alone, but he knew if he’d stayed any longer, leaving her would have been impossible.

  “She’s okay, I think. She went up to her room for a while. She said she had a headache.”

  Gunnar planned to call her when he checked into his hotel that night, to make sure she really was okay. “I need you to do me a favor. Don’t give your mom a hard time, okay? We’re going through something, trying to figure some things out, and it isn’t easy on her. The last thing she needs is you guys giving her grief.”

  “We didn’t want you to go,” she said softly. “That’s why we acted the way we did.”

  Those soft-spoken words pierced his heart. “I know, baby. Believe me, I didn’t want to leave you guys either. If I could have stayed, I would have. But I have commitments and I have to figure out how to honor them.”

  “But what about the commitment you made to us?” she asked. “Shouldn’t being our dad come first?”

  Gunnar realized that just because she was apologizing for lashing out, it didn’t mean she’d let go of her resentment. “Being your dad will always come first.” He rubbed his bleary eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “But you have to understand where I’m coming from. Without my career, I’d have had nothing to offer you. I know I haven’t been perfect. Far from it. I wasn’t there when you needed me. But I’d like to think I’ve been able to teach you a few things about persistence, dogged determination, chasing your dreams.”

  He stared out the window at the small, rundown houses dotting the road and wondered if the people who lived there were happier than he was, with all of his money and fame. “And work ethic. Nothing in this life comes without hard work and sacrifice.”