SHEDDING LIGHT

by Michael Edelson

  “How many signals must a girl send? Why do you think I spend so much time with you? You thought it was your sense of humour?”

  He began to laugh, despite his tension. The woman never stopped.

  “No, I guess it wasn’t for that,” he admitted.

  “So kiss me already.”

  He did, and she met him with surprising enthusiasm. His hands reached out to pull her close, and she responded with an intensity he should have expected. She made love the same way she lived life, for the moment, holding nothing back.

  CHAPTER 15

  AFTER THEY WERE DONE, they lay together in the bunk, which was suddenly just the right size. Her head rested on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through her soft brown hair.

  “So, here we are,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

  “Yup,” she said. “Here we are.”

  “So what do we do now?” he asked, before he could stop himself. He was far too relaxed to keep account of his tongue. “Is this it?”

  “I usually save the kinky stuff for later,” she said, smiling.

  “That’s not what I mean. But remind me to ask you about that some other time.”

  “What do you want?” she asked, studying him from under her ubiquitous raised eyebrow. “People don’t usually ask to marry me until I buy them something expensive.”

  “Now you’re just being difficult. What about you, what do you want? Did you only come here because you were scared?”

  “I take it that’s not something you normally ask a girl after sex.”

  He laughed. “I guess I never know what to expect from you. You’re not the easiest person to get along with, you know. But I really like you despite all that. Maybe because of it. I did since we met.”

  “Wow,” she said. “The dashing young starship captain leaves himself vulnerable.”

  “This is what I mean,” he said, frustrated.

  In response, she kissed him. “What do you think of Fiji?”

  “Fiji?”

  “Yes, my network is sending me there for six weeks after this gig is over. I can bring a friend.”

  “You’re asking me if I want to spend six weeks in Fiji with you?”

  “Yes. I know it’s a long time and the navy will probably need you to—”

  “To hell with the navy,” he said. “I’m there.”

  “Good.” She kissed him again. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We may all die way before we ever get to Fiji.”

  “Well then I’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

  * * * * *

  AS HE WALKED DOWN the corridor, Jack realized that he was happy. For the first time since he’d set foot aboard the ship, he didn’t care about why he was here or what the others thought of him. He slowed his steps and savoured the feeling. He wanted to remember this moment, because he had no idea what sort of difficulties lay ahead.

  Resuming his natural pace, he was on his way to the bridge to make some final adjustments when he noticed Carl on the observation deck.

  “Hey,” he said, climbing down the chute to join the engineer. “Have you heard anything about Merrick?”

  “Yes, he’s awake,” Carl said, continuing his work. He was scanning the professor’s data chips. “He asked me to make a backup copy of his data.”

  “Good move. Is everyone ready to go then? I’ll only need an hour or so to adjust the course and double check the capsules.”

  “I believe so,” Carl said, inserting a new chip into a slot on the console. “I’ll be done here in just a few minutes.” It was then that he noticed what Carl was doing.

  “Why are you erasing the data chips?” Jack asked. Carl looked up at him slowly.

  “I’m not. I’m copying them.”

  “No,” Jack said, taking a step closer. “You are erasing them. Step away from the console, now.” Adrenaline coursed through his body and he began to shake nervously.

  “No, Jack, I will not.” Carl seemed calm as he removed a chip and inserted another.

  Jack didn’t know what to say. His adrenal response was clouding his judgment, making it difficult to think. He took another step closer.

  “Carl,” he said as firmly as he could manage. “I’m ordering you to step away from the machine. Why are you doing this?”

  “Jack,” Carl said as he removed the chip in the slot and picked up a new one. “I’ve always liked you. You’re a good officer and you belong on this mission as much as anyone.” Jack noticed that he had not yet inserted the next chip. If he could keep him talking, he thought, he could save that much more data.

  “But face it, Jack,” Carl continued. “You’re a dilettante. I read your bio, you’ve never really committed your life to anything, or anyone. You have no idea what it’s like to really give yourself to something, to believe so deeply it becomes a part of who you are.”

  “Even if it’s a lie?”

  “It’s not a lie!” Carl growled, his eyes glaring with rage for an instant. The sudden transition from calm serenity to bestial fury and back was unnerving. “Merrick says that’s what the data means, but how can we be certain?”

  “So why do this?” Jack was edging closer, looking for an opportunity. “It was you the whole time, wasn’t it? The melted cables, the other so-called glitches? How can it be worth it?” Carl was not much taller than Jack but he was much bigger. Jack hadn’t been to the gym in years, Carl looked as though he lived there.

  “Because of what it will do to people. You don’t know how important religion is, Jack. You just can’t understand it. Without religion we have no morality, nothing to guide us. Look at what’s happened to our society in the last century. More and more people turning away from God, turning to drugs, pornography, and other depravity.”

  “Drugs are legal, Carl, and pornography is harmless entertainment. The people that wrote the bible took morality from the same place we can get it, our own nature. What you are doing here is treason and sabotage. You’ll be court-martialled.”

  “I don’t care. Some things are worth dying for.”

  “Or killing for?”

  “I had no choice!” he roared, spittle flying out of his mouth. “That bastard went too far!”

  “And the captain,” Jack asked, his eye on the data chip. “He went too far?”

  “I had nothing to do with that!” Carl screamed indignantly. “Poor bastard must have tried to do the right thing and it blew up in his face!”

  “So you knew about him?”

  “No, I didn’t. And stop trying to milk me for information. We are well beyond that.”

  “Fine,” Jack said. “I’ll wait until after you’re locked up.”

  “So what are you going to do Jack, stop me? You can’t.” Carl snorted, looking him up and down as though to emphasize the physical difference between them.

  “It’s the thing about being a dilettante,” Jack said, taking one final step closer. He leaped forward suddenly, his body relaxed, twisting with the motion of his arm. The instant before his hand struck Carl’s jaw he tensed his fist, the power of his entire body concentrated in that one point. The impact jarred his arm and sent a flash of pain all the way to his shoulder. Carl crumpled onto the deck.

  “You have plenty of time to learn how to fight.”

  CHAPTER 16

  “HE ERASED EVERYTHING,” JACK explained to Merrick, who was lying in his bunk, propped up on a pillow. His eyes were swollen shut, but otherwise he looked alright. Jack, Debbie, and Yelena had all come to his quarters to give him the bad news.

  “Except this.” Jack held up the chip Carl had been holding when he’d hit him. “But it’s damaged. Don’t know if we can get anything out of it.”

  Merrick nodded, his expression unchanging except for a faint smile that crept up around the corners of his mouth.

  “Doesn’t that bother you?” Debbie asked.

  “It would,” he said, chuckling slyly. “If I hadn’t made five backup copies.”

  “Five?”
Jack asked, shocked and incredibly relieved. “You made five backup copies?”

  “Yes I did. In places in the system memory not even Carl could find.”

  “I’ll be damned.” Debbie said. “You’re a clever old fox. Looks like this mission will be a success after all. Unless of course, we are not done turning up saboteurs.”

  Jack shook his head. “I swear to god I will personally dump into space the next person I catch trying to sabotage this mission.”

  “Let’s get home quickly then,” Merrick said eagerly. “The quicker the better.”

  Jack nodded. “Let’s go get Carl and Jonathan and get in those pods.”

  “Can’t we leave them out?” Merrick pleaded.

  “No,” Jack said, smiling. “But I’m as tempted as you are."

  “Do you want me to look at your hand?” Yelena asked, noticing the swelling.

  “Nah, it’s not broken. It’ll be fine.”

  Before they got into the pods, Jack examined each one very carefully.

  “We’ll start the hop gradually,” he told the others after they were all inside. “That way if anyone’s pod is malfunctioning, you’ll notice it before it has a chance to kill you. Let’s get ready.”

  The first hop took them to just a few thousand kilometres an hour, with no sign of capsule trouble. He made everyone stay in contact as they gradually kicked it up to full intensity without incident. They were finally able to relax.

  “I’ll turn on the pacifier in just a few minutes,” Jack announced.

  All of the lights on his intercom display went out, except one.

  “Jack?” Debbie’s voice.

  “You feeling okay?” he asked. After the long hop, they would have forty two hours of cruising before it was time to hop down to a safe velocity for entry into the solar system, followed by two days of solar flight. He looked forward to spending that time with her.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “But I was thinking about how crazy all of this is. Three saboteurs? It’s bordering on absurdity.”

  “Bordering? I think it’s well past that.”

  “You never told me what you learned from Carl.” Her curiosity obvious even through the intercom.

  “Always the reporter,” he said, smiling. “He claims he didn’t know about the captain. Says he was just trying to give us enough small problems to make us go back early without finding anything. Wouldn’t really have been a failure, since we did see enough at that point to confirm Merrick’s theory.”

  “So what pushed him over the edge?”

  “The professor’s little show and tell, I suppose. We know Jonathan snapped when he found out Merrick’s new focus, and the first bomb was found after Merrick made his comment about seeing the Red Sea parted.”

  “So they were all working independently? None of them knew about the others?” The incredulity in her voice was clear.

  “It appears that way.” He couldn’t believe it either. “You’ll have a hell of a story on your hands.”

  “Yes, I will.”

  “Hey, what are you going to write about me?”

  He heard her chuckle. “I’m not sure yet, but it’ll be something good. I’m biased, remember?”

  “I’m glad,” he said smiling. “Goodnight, Debbie.”

  “Goodnight, Jack.”

  He activated the pacifier, and they drifted off to sleep.

  CHAPTER 17

  “COMMANDER ROBERTS!” MERRICK BEAMED, striding past startled revellers as he made his way over to them. “Or should I say Captain!”

  “Not anymore.” Jack smiled as Merrick heartily shook his hand.

  “And Miss Watanabe,” Merrick said as he turned to Debbie, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “So good to see you. Came together, I see. Splendid, splendid.”

  “Congratulations, professor,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s quite an honour.”

  “Yes, congratulations,” Jack added, trying to make his voice heard above the noise of the crowd. The hotel lobby was completely packed with attendees who were busy drinking champagne and enjoying themselves. Some of the most important people in the world were in attendance. Debbie had understated it; it was an incredible honour.

  Merrick turned to face Jack, his gaze intent. “I owe it all to you.”

  “Nonsense,” Jack said. “I can’t take any credit for this.”

  “My life then, at least,” Merrick said, once more taking his hand in his. “That’s why I told them I wanted you on the next mission.”

  “That was your doing?” Jack asked, a little disappointed. He had thought…

  “No,” Merrick said. “You were already on the roster.”

  Jack nodded, relieved. He had earned his place after all.

  “As astrogator and executive officer,” Merrick continued. “That much they wanted. But I told them that if you weren’t in command, they could find some other Nobel prize winning scientist to go along.”

  “I…” Jack could scarcely believe what he had just heard. “I’m going to be captain?”

  “Oh my,” Merrick said. “They haven’t told you yet? My apologies.” He smiled sheepishly. “Appears I’ve let the cat out of the bag. It’s simply a matter of trust. You are the only person alive that has the skill and experience, and can be trusted completely. At least that’s the way I see it, and you can hardly blame me. After a little convincing, the Navy agreed.”

  Debbie elbowed Jack in the ribs. “Congratulations, captain.”

  “I understand,” Merrick said, turning to face her. “That you are going along as well?”

  She shrugged, smiling broadly. “Somebody has to tell the world how we squander billions of tax dollars chasing light particles.”

  “So who are we going after now? Jesus?” Jack asked, chuckling.

  “Now that you mention it…” Merrick began.

  “Don’t even start,” Jack said. “I don’t want to think about it until I have to. Debbie and I still have two weeks left in Fiji.”

  They turned and walked together into the heart of the crowd. Renowned scientists, foreign dignitaries, even celebrities were all waiting there, eager to talk to the space heroes that had captured the hearts of half the world. What the other half thought of them, Jack didn’t want to know.

  Captain. Jack repeated the word in his head. Captain. He liked the sound of it.

  Sometime later, when the celebration was dying down, he found Merrick standing alone on a balcony. Debbie was mingling with other journalists, no doubt sharing the news of her Pulitzer nomination. Jack was happy for her, and proud.

  “Jack,” Merrick said. “Won’t you join me for a drink?”

  “My pleasure.” They lifted their glasses in a toast.

  “To God?” Merrick proposed.

  “Wouldn’t that be a little odd, considering…?”

  “We do owe the poor sod something.” Merrick chuckled. “This is the least we can do.”

  “Right then,” Jack agreed, once more lifting his glass and taking a sip. “To God.”

  They paused, staring out over the harbour. A cool breeze brought the scent of the ocean, along with the distant clanging of harbour bells. The lights of docked ships swayed in rhythm with the gently lapping waves.

  “I’ll say one thing for God,” Jack said, raising his glass once more. “He can be very proud of his worshipers.”

  “Oh?” Merrick asked, not sounding convinced. “Why would you say that?”

  “Why not? Look at what they were willing to do for their beliefs. They gave up their lives, their careers, their futures. What more could a God ask for?”

  “Faith,” Merrick said slowly. “He could ask for faith.”

  Jack frowned. “I don’t understand. They had faith, that’s why they did what they did.”

  Merrick smiled faintly, turning back to stare across the water.

  “Let me ask you a question, my friend,” the old man said. “And it’s a very interesting question. If they had so much faith, why did it neve
r occur to them that I would actually find God? Why didn’t even one of them assume that if I went looking for the truth, I would find the truth they supposedly believed so very strongly in?”

  Jack was silent. He had no answer, though perhaps the question itself was answer enough.

  He turned to the harbour, relishing the cool breeze on his skin. He looked up at the sky, full of brightly shinning stars despite the lights of the city.

  “Cheers,” Jack said, raising his champagne flute. The glass caught the faint moonlight in its crystalline facets and sent its reflection out into the cosmos.

  “To what do we drink now?” Merrick asked, following suit.

  “To truth,” he said. “And the leaving behind of childish things.”

  Merrick nodded. “Now that is something worth drinking to.”

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  MICHAEL EDELSON

  Michael Edelson lives in New York with his wife, two daughters and a lap dog. He was a paratrooper in the US Army before coming to his senses, then spent eight sears sailing the Atlantic and currently serves as director of the New York Historical Fencing Association where he researches and teaches medieval German swordsmanship.