I See You

by Patricia MacDonald

  ‘But absent a compelling motive, you are left with that all-important issue of reasonable doubt. Ask yourself why would she do it, and you will soon arrive at the decision that I have. Lisa Wickes had no compelling reason to kill Troy Petty. Her life did not revolve around the attentions of this young man. Especially after she caught him interfering with her two-year-old daughter. This relationship was over, way before Troy Petty’s house blew up with him in it. Lisa Wickes had already moved on.

  ‘I ask you to consider all you have heard about this case, and acquit Lisa Wickes now. Send her back to her studies and her young daughter. Send her back to become a healer, to spend her life productively, doing good. Because Lisa Wickes will do good in a way that most of us can never hope to emulate. Consign this case to the dustbin where it belongs, and send Lisa Wickes back to her purposeful life.’

  As Marjorie Fox brought her closing argument to an end, Hannah could feel the sentiment in the courtroom shining like sunlight on Lisa. She looked at Adam, who seemed lost in thought. ‘I think she has convinced them.’

  Adam frowned, and nodded. ‘Let’s hope so.’

  ‘She was worth every penny.’

  Adam understood what she was saying. ‘It certainly seems that way. She made the state’s case look … feeble.’

  The judge thanked the attorneys for their summations. Then he glanced at the clock. ‘In view of the hour,’ he said, ‘I am going to wait until tomorrow morning to charge the jury. I will ask the jury management team to have our jury assembled in the courtroom tomorrow morning at nine o’clock sharp at which time they will be charged, after which they will retire to commence their deliberations. Court is dismissed.’

  Hannah and Adam filed out of the courtroom with the other spectators, and waded through the clamorous crowd of reporters. They avoided looking left or right as they were pelted with questions. They made their way to their car, and locked themselves inside.

  ‘The next time we go back in there will be for the verdict,’ Hannah observed.

  ‘The last time we ever see the inside of a courtroom, I hope,’ he said fervently.

  ‘Amen,’ she said.

  ‘Let’s pick up Sydney and go home.’

  SEVENTEEN

  The three of them spent a quiet night at home, going outside only long enough to have dinner on the deck. It was a lovely evening, the late sunset spilling orange and lavender across the sky. Sydney spotted a bunny in the far end of the yard and banged her spoon on her Peter Rabbit decorated plate, as if in appreciation. They were too tired for conversation. Adam seemed quiet and distracted during dinner and Hannah could understand it. Their ordeal was almost over, and it had depleted each of them. Tonight she seemed to have more energy than he did, so she volunteered to clear the table and get Sydney ready for bed while he retreated into his home office. He gratefully took her up on her offer.

  She watched an old movie on TV for an hour after Sydney was in bed, and then she went down to his office and stuck her head in. ‘I think I’m going to go to bed early. I am beat,’ she said.

  ‘I’ll be right behind you,’ he said.

  She kissed him on the top of his head and made her way down to their room. As she set out her clothes for the next day, showered and washed her hair, she was overcome with weariness. She brushed her teeth automatically, yawning like a sleepy child. Then she went down the hall to Sydney’s room, and looked in on her granddaughter. She knelt down beside the low trundle bed, and brushed Sydney’s hair gently off her flushed, softly rounded face. ‘It’s almost over, baby doll,’ she whispered. ‘Mommy will be coming home soon.’ Sydney stirred but did not awaken. Hannah watched her granddaughter tenderly as she shifted in her bed, still clutching her teddy bear under her arm. The question about Troy swam back into her mind. Did he hurt you? she wondered. Did that monster touch you? Hannah felt almost physically sick at the thought, and a part of her could not deny that she was glad Troy Petty was dead. She wondered, briefly, if Troy had indeed been guilty of interfering with that terminally ill child at the summer camp. Perhaps there was nothing that Troy wouldn’t do to gratify himself.

  He’s dead now, Hannah reminded herself. He’s dead and he could never hurt Sydney, or any other child, again. She leaned over and kissed the toddler’s warm cheek. They would have to get to the bottom of it one of these days but the immediate danger was over. Once Lisa was home again they would call Jackie’s referral and take Sydney for a professional evaluation. And they would provide whatever treatment was necessary – if it was necessary. Oh, my sweetie, I hope it’s not, Hannah thought. I just hope and pray he didn’t get to you.

  By the time Hannah got back to their room, Adam was sitting up in bed, reading. She climbed in beside him and snuggled against him. She tried to stay awake but it was no use. ‘Love you,’ she murmured, and almost as soon as she rolled away from him, she was fast asleep.

  She wasn’t sure what woke her. Probably a bad dream. She had had lots of those lately. But whatever it was, she came awake with a start. She lay on her side, her heart pounding, and hoped she had not cried out in her sleep. She didn’t want to awaken Adam. He desperately needed some rest.

  She closed her eyes again, hoping that the panicky feeling would subside, and she could drift back to sleep, but in a few moments she realized that it was out of the question. Eyes closed or not, she was wide awake.

  Hannah rolled over carefully, checking for Adam’s quiet, steady breathing. But she heard nothing and, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that his covers were thrown back, his side of the bed empty. She glanced over at their bathroom door. There was no bar of light beneath it. In fact, the door was ajar, the bathroom dark.

  He probably can’t sleep either, she thought. How could either one of them be expected to rest, knowing that Lisa’s fate was now in the hands of the jury? Hannah lay there, thinking about her daughter. Hannah had actually been happy when Lisa became involved with Troy. Obviously, Lisa was no virgin, but her relationships had been short-lived and seemingly loveless. Troy actually seemed to care for her. Hannah worried that she would never be able to trust anyone after Troy’s betrayal.

  Hannah put a hand on Adam’s still warm pillow. She had always tried to impress on Lisa that the one you married needed to be special. A clear choice. No second thoughts. That didn’t mean he had to be the perfect man. Just the perfect man for you. Someone you could trust with your life. Someone who would always put his family first. Someone whose love was the rock in your life. Obviously not someone like Troy Petty.

  Hannah frowned, wondering where Adam was. Had he gone down to the kitchen to eat something? He always hated himself when he did that. Adam was a disciplined person, faithful in his exercise, cautious with his drinking. It always kind of amused her when he got up in the middle of the night and ate snacks. Proof that he was human, just like everybody else.

  Maybe I’ll join him, she thought. We may as well spend this sleepless night together. Hannah sat up, pulled on her wrapper and slid her feet into her slippers. Then she went out into the dark house in search of him.

  As soon as she walked out into the hallway, she saw that he was not in the kitchen. It was pitch black at that end of the house. And he wasn’t in his office either. The light was on, however, in Lisa’s room, a glowing bar visible beneath the closed door.

  Hannah frowned, and walked over to it. Why would he be in there? She reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly. The door opened in. At the desk by the window he sat, working on Lisa’s laptop.

  ‘Adam?’ she said.

  He jumped and turned around, a guilty look on his face.

  ‘What are you doing in here?’ she asked.

  Adam turned back to the laptop and stared at it, pushing a couple of keys. The screen changed with each tap of his fingers. ‘Looking for something,’ he said.

  ‘On Lisa’s computer? I don’t even know Lisa’s password,’ Hannah said.

  ‘It’s Sydney’s birthday,’ he said.

&nb
sp; Hannah smiled, pleased at this notion. ‘Well, of course it is,’ she said. ‘After all, I use hers.’

  Adam’s eyes did not leave the screen. ‘She knows that, doesn’t she?’

  Hannah frowned at him. ‘Yes, of course.’ She came in and sat down on the end of Lisa’s bed, from where she could look over his shoulder at the screen.

  ‘What are you looking for?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m tracking her history,’ he said.

  ‘You mean her search history?’

  ‘It’s a bit more complicated than that,’ he said. He did not bother to explain. He knew that Hannah’s familiarity with the workings of computers was rudimentary.

  ‘What are you looking for?’

  Adam pressed some more buttons, the cool light of the screen reflecting, sickly silver, on his face. ‘Something that isn’t here,’ he said.

  ‘Is that a riddle?’ she asked with a trace of impatience. ‘I’m awfully tired for riddles.’

  ‘No,’ he said.

  ‘Then what is it?’ Hannah demanded, feeling suddenly annoyed at him. She would never get back to sleep now.

  ‘Something that should be here, but it’s not,’ he said, still tapping at the keyboard.

  Hannah frowned at him. ‘Stop talking nonsense. What do you mean?’

  Adam swiveled the seat of the desk chair around and looked at Hannah directly. ‘I went back to last winter. I looked up your mother’s birthday. That was the date when Lisa spoke to Wynonna about Troy, and then I went forward from there. It was three weeks after that that she first went out with Troy Petty.’

  ‘We talked about this,’ said Hannah defensively. ‘You and I agreed that she probably felt sorry for him. The underdog, unfairly accused. That’s just like Lisa.’

  Adam shook his head. ‘She didn’t search it.’

  Hannah frowned. ‘Didn’t search what?’

  ‘Her accusations. Lisa started to date him but she didn’t research Wynonna’s accusations.’

  Hannah shook her head and peered at him as if he was losing his mind. ‘Oh, Adam, what are you doing? That doesn’t mean anything.’

  ‘Really?’ he asked. ‘This Wynonna person tells her that a guy she works with is an accused pedophile. And the next thing you know, she starts dating him. And she didn’t even do a search on the incident at the camp? Lisa’s the mother of a small child. She’s told that this guy is a pedophile and she goes out with him anyway, without even doing the most basic search? Who would do that? You wouldn’t do that. You’d do a search on him first thing.’

  Hannah felt suddenly indignant. ‘Maybe she asked him about those charges, and he explained it to her. Did you ever think of that? Or maybe she looked it up at work.’

  Adam looked at her stubbornly. ‘She hasn’t got time to make that kind of search at the hospital. And I don’t believe for one moment that she asked him. Look, I don’t care if she risks her own safety, but to risk Sydney’s?’

  Hannah slid off the end of the bed and stood over him, her hands on her hips. She felt tears pricking her eyes but she did not wipe them away. ‘Why are you doing this? She’s your daughter. You’re supposed to defend her, not trump up reasons to vilify her. You’re worse than the prosecutor. We’re about to get her home. We’re about to get our lives back, and all you can think to do is invade her privacy and try to make her out to be …’

  ‘Reckless,’ he said, pushing the desk chair back and standing up. He pointed his index finger at Hannah. ‘Don’t deny it. She’s reckless and you know it.’

  Hannah shook her head angrily. ‘I’m not listening to this. There’s something wrong with you. That’s all there is to it. You insist on thinking the worst of her.’

  ‘She deliberately risked her daughter’s safety. And we still don’t know if the worst happened to Sydney, thanks to all that alone time with Troy Petty. That little surprise lies ahead when we get her to a competent shrink. Lisa put Sydney in harm’s way and went on about her business. That’s the plain truth of the matter. How can you say that’s OK?’

  ‘I’m not saying that’s OK,’ Hannah protested. ‘But you’re just borrowing trouble. She could have searched that anywhere. There’s a computer on her phone, for heaven’s sakes. Of course she looked into it. She looked into it and found out that he was never charged.’

  ‘But of all the men in the world, this was the man she chose to date. To leave her child with,’ he said flatly.

  ‘Oh, excuse me,’ said Hannah sarcastically. ‘Now it’s about the fact that he was suspected of a crime. A crime for which he was never charged. I thought this was about the fact that Lisa didn’t research him.’

  ‘It’s about her deliberate carelessness,’ he countered.

  ‘You’re just fishing for some reason to blame her. How do you know she didn’t look it up on another computer? Or call someone? You’re just being … completely unfair,’ Hannah cried.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ he said.

  ‘Maybe she’s defiant because you don’t trust her,’ Hannah insisted. ‘Maybe you’re angry because we had to pay for a lawyer.’

  ‘You’re damn right I’m angry,’ he said. ‘She’s partly to blame for this. You insist on pretending that none of this is her fault.’

  Hannah drew herself up, insulted. ‘I’m her mother. I’m aware of her shortcomings. Maybe more than you are. I’m the one who has gone to school when she got in trouble, or to see the guidance counselors while you were at work. I have talked to her till I’m blue in the face. I am not blind to the fact that she can be reckless and careless and she can act without thinking. But don’t tell me that she doesn’t love Sydney. That she wouldn’t protect her from harm, because that is just not true.’

  ‘I wish I could be sure of that,’ said Adam, shaking his head.

  ‘You’re talking about our child.’

  ‘She’s not a child any longer,’ he said stubbornly.

  Hannah knew Lisa’s faults as well as Adam did. Better, maybe. Over the years she and Lisa had had more than their share of arguments. But Adam just seemed to be piling on blame. Now, when they were almost out of the woods. It wasn’t fair. ‘If you feel that way, maybe you shouldn’t be here when Lisa comes home,’ she hissed.

  Adam jerked back as if she had slapped him, and glared at her. Hannah could see that he was making an effort not to reply. For her part, she felt horrible having said that to him, but she was in no mood to apologize.

  ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said. ‘Someone has to look out for Sydney.’

  ‘Like I don’t?’ Hannah demanded.

  ‘If the shoe fits …’ he said.

  You bastard. How dare you, she thought, but she didn’t say it. She couldn’t. They’d had their fights over the years but she had never called him names.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said immediately. ‘That wasn’t fair. I know you’d do anything to protect Sydney. Or Lisa. Come on. Look, we shouldn’t be arguing about this. We need to stick together. Let’s go back to bed.’

  Hannah shook her head, avoiding his gaze. ‘You go ahead.’

  Adam put the desk chair back under the desk, and tried to cajole her. ‘Come on, babe. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m … We’re just worn out.’

  Hannah shook her head again. ‘Go on.’

  He hesitated, peering at her worriedly, and then left the room. Hannah let him go. She sank back down onto the side of her daughter’s bed, limp with despair. After a few minutes, she pulled the covers back and slid under the sheets. She hugged one of Lisa’s pillows to her chest, thinking that she would never sleep now. She was shaking from the unfamiliar sensation of having bitter words with Adam. Why is he doing this? she thought. Here we are. Almost OK, and now he does this. Why? She fell asleep with the question descending, like a cloud of paralyzing fog, around her brain.

  EIGHTEEN

  The two of them seemed bruised, and were quiet at breakfast, politely passing the butter and jam. ‘Did you get some sleep?’ he asked her finally.


  ‘I slept,’ she said. ‘Not well. But I slept.’

  ‘I missed you,’ he said.

  ‘I didn’t mean to sleep in Lisa’s room. I just passed out,’ she said.

  ‘I’m sorry about that whole business last night,’ said Adam. ‘I was feeling … I don’t know. At my wits’ end.’

  Hannah leaned over and wiped some cereal off of Sydney’s chin. The toddler was subdued as well. ‘Never mind,’ she said. ‘I understand.’

  ‘What are you going to do today?’ he asked.

  ‘Besides wait for the phone to ring?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said.

  Hannah shook her head. ‘Well, I’m behind at work but I’m too stressed out to concentrate on anything. I think I’ll just keep Sydney here and spend some time with her.’

  ‘I have to keep my mind busy somehow. I think I’ll go into the office,’ Adam said. ‘I have so much piled up.’

  ‘What if the verdict comes in?’ Hannah asked, looking up at him, startled.

  ‘The minute they call,’ he said. ‘Get me on speed dial. I’m there.’

  ‘Marjorie might call you first,’ said Hannah.

  ‘Either way,’ he said.

  Hannah sighed.

  ‘If you want me to stay here with you …’ he said quickly.

  ‘No,’ said Hannah. ‘We’ll be fine.’ She leaned toward Sydney and shook her head, smiling. ‘We’ll be fine, won’t we?’

  Sydney began to giggle and tried to feed cereal to her grandmother. Hannah gently declined.

  ‘We’ll have a walk in the park,’ she said to Sydney.

  ‘Hopefully,’ said Adam, ‘we won’t have long to wait.’

  Hannah looked up at him and their worried eyes met. ‘I don’t know what to hope for.’

  ‘Marjorie said that they won’t take long if they’re going to acquit,’ Adam said.

  ‘Then I’ll hope for quick,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Me too,’ he said, gathering up his laptop case and kissing Sydney on the top of her head. ‘Love you.’ He smiled warily at Hannah.