Infamous: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Novel

by Arabella Abbing

  I swallowed hard. “I told you.”

  April nodded and finally tilted her head back to meet my eyes. The anger had drained from them and been replaced by sadness. This... This was definitely not what I wanted. And to make matters worse—I had no idea how to fix this. I couldn’t bicker back until she had enough and stormed off and I couldn’t follow the instincts that were screaming at me to hold her without making her even more upset.

  “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. What more could I do?

  “I highly doubt that.”

  The words stung—but I wouldn’t deny their truth. I wasn’t sorry for kissing her. Not at all. I was only sorry for making her cry and not knowing what to do about it.

  A better man than me probably would have tried harder, but when she backed off the couch and slowly slinked down to the bathroom, I just let her go. I waited a few minutes to see if she’d come back out and when she didn’t reappear, I walked to her bedroom and lingered in the hall. The only sound coming from the bathroom was the faucet running in the sink and my heart sank as I imagined her turning it on to drown out the sound of her crying.

  What the hell had I done to upset her that much? I couldn’t understand why she would have been so upset by what happened between us.

  It wasn’t until I was lying in her bed and staring up at the ceiling that I considered that something else could be going on with April—something other than just me. If it was a problem I could help her with, I wouldn’t be able to unless I actually knew what it was.

  I didn’t allow myself to fall asleep until after I heard the bathroom door quietly creak open and her footsteps going softly down the hall. I closed my eyes and silently promised myself that tomorrow, I’d do everything in my power to find out what was really wrong.

  Because it couldn’t possibly be just me.

  17

  April

  My eyes cracked open for the millionth time and I reached for my phone, the brightness of the screen making me wince. I blinked and waited for my eyes to adjust to the light before I squinted to read the time.

  Five in the fucking morning.

  With a groan, I hit the power button and laid the phone back down beside me.

  I had only managed to get an hour or two of restless sleep in and it was very clear that my body wasn’t going to allow me any more.

  Or was my mind to blame? Sure, my body was still wired from the almost electrical sparks that seemed to shoot through my entire body when Jared had kissed me, but it was my rapidly moving mind that seemed to be the real culprit here.

  My tears had been more of frustration and panic above all else and during my refuge in the bathroom, they had dried up and given me entirely too much time alone to think very dangerous thoughts.

  Things like—what was really stopping me from walking out that door and continuing where we left off? Why did sleeping with him have to mean losing my job? Who really had to know?

  I hated lying, but I could do it. Hell, I’d been lying—albeit unsuccessfully—to Jared since he arrived. But the only reason he called me on it was because he was cocky.

  I could lie to Lauren. Couldn’t I?

  I recalled telling her the truth about never having a one-night stand before. I also remembered stating that my job meant more to me than a night with a man even as attractive as Jared. That was also true, but it led to a thought that was even more dangerous.

  Why was I automatically assuming it would be one night? I remembered Jared telling me he wouldn’t date me, yet he made me dinner and cuddled with me. Was that only part of a plot to get into my pants?

  Or was there the slightest possibility that he might actually feel something for me? Something real, even though he seemed to think he was incapable of such a thing.

  Unfortunately, these were all questions that I couldn’t answer unless I actually spoke to Jared, which meant they kept me up most of the night.

  Since it was almost six, I knew that the noise of the city would soon be starting up and keeping me awake even if I managed to fall back asleep. So I swung my legs off the couch and walked into the kitchen to start the coffeepot.

  I was lightly tapping my fingernails on the counter and watching it brew when I felt another presence behind me.

  “Morning,” I said, not bothering to turn around.

  “Morning,” he parroted back, his voice thick with sleep and sounding just as miserable as mine. “You’re up early.”

  “So are you.”

  There was a stilted silence that only broke when he sighed and stepped up to lean against the counter beside me.

  “You were right last night. I wasn’t sorry for kissing you, but I was sorry for making you cry.”

  I waved off his concerns and shook my head. “It wasn’t crying, exactly. I was just really… frustrated.”

  He didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, so he simply nodded and joined me as I stared at the coffee as it dripped into the pot. We stood there in complete silence until the entire pot was brewed, then he reached above me to fish two mugs out of the cabinet for us.

  “Thanks,” I murmured, looking up into his eyes and realizing just how close he was.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Anyone with eyes could see it coming, but it happened so fast that I couldn’t stop it. My hand shot to the counter and dropped the mug as he dipped down to kiss me—his mug making a loud clatter on the counter as he ditched it in favor of wrapping an arm around my waist and hauling me flush against his hard body.

  God, something that felt this damn good couldn’t possibly be wrong.

  Bet that’s what the other interns told themselves, a nagging voice whispered in the back of my head.

  The reminder of what was at stake chilled most of my desire and I squirmed out of his arms, nearly whimpering at the sight of his masculine jaw clenching and unclenching while he struggled to control his breathing. Knowing that I was the cause of that response was a powerful feeling.

  Jared blinked a few times, his mouth opening a fraction of an inch before it abruptly snapped shut. Good. No false apologies that I really didn’t want to hear.

  What I wanted were answers to my questions from last night, but at the same time, I was afraid of them. I had a feeling that asking Jared questions like that would only lead to heartache and an incredibly awkward week.

  The reminder that we were officially half-way through our time together gave me a much-needed boost of strength. I could do this. I could resist him for another seven days then return to my normal life with an actual paying job.

  I hardened my resolve and gave him a tight smile. “Jared—”

  “I know there’s something else going on here,” he blurted, the fast pace an oddity coming from him. He cleared his throat and firmly said, “Tell me the truth, April. I told you about Brittany. You at least owe me the same. Do you already have a man, is that it?”

  “No. Jared, I—”

  “Then what could it possibly be?” he yelled, raising his hands in the air and scoffing. “Fuck. I’ve been up all night thinking about this shit, April. Nothing makes sense about the way you’ve been acting! I know you fucking want me so why can’t we just—”

  “Because I won’t give up my job to fuck you!” I shouted, sick and tired of being constantly interrupted.

  Jared’s hands went down to his sides and he cocked his head in confusion. It would have looked rather comical if I hadn’t been so pissed off at the moment.

  “Your job? What’s that got to do with anything?”

  I laughed, but the sound was humorless. “You have no fucking idea. No idea what kind of trouble you’ve gotten these girls into over the years.”

  Jared frowned and shook his head helplessly. “What girls? April—”

  “Lauren’s interns!” I screamed, wincing when I thought about what my neighbor must be hearing. I lowered my voice and said, “Lauren has a no fraternization policy. Do you know what the means?” Recognition was dawning in his eyes, but I still
elaborated, “It means every girl you’ve fucked while working for Lauren has been fired. And I won’t be any exception.”

  Something akin to horror swept across his face, but I was so over both this fucked up affair and him that I didn’t have it in me to attempt to comfort him. I actually wished that he felt like a piece of shit for getting the women before me fired. Maybe he’d feel so guilty that he’d leave me the fuck alone.

  In the meantime, I really needed to get out of here. I hastily shoved my mug back into the cabinet and reached for one of the to-go cups, pouring myself a piping hot cup before I turned back to find him still staring off into space with a frown.

  “I’m getting dressed and going to the library. Do whatever you want—just don’t leave. My job is on the line.”

  His gaze swept to mine and his lips pursed together tightly, but he nodded his assent. When he moved to pour his own cup of coffee, I went into my bedroom and got dressed in record time. My phone was in my pocket and my messenger bag was still waiting for me by the door, ready to go.

  His voice called out to me as I lifted it to my shoulder, but I ignored him in favor of a clean getaway.

  Maybe I’d pay for it later, but at least I felt like I could breathe again. The elevator arrived and I stepped in, looking down the hall just in time to see Jared poking his head out the door and watching me go with a sad expression on his face.

  I told myself that the clenching of my stomach was from the elevator drop and nothing more.

  18

  Jared

  The news that Lauren had fired every girl I slept with was probably one of the most fucked up things I’d heard in a long time.

  I almost accused April of lying. My first thought had been that it was just a shitty excuse for avoiding her desire. But deep down, I knew it was true.

  It definitely explained why I never saw the same intern twice.

  Hell, I’d even gotten rid of a few of Lauren’s full-time employees if that was the case.

  I thought back to when I first met Lauren and agreed to sign her, thinking hard about what I had read of the contract. I vaguely recalled her mentioning that she had a no-tolerance policy of interoffice romances or anything of the sort, but I didn’t even consider that it would apply to me as a client, not an employee.

  Jesus Christ, why had it never even crossed my mind? Why had Lauren never said anything?

  That was answered easily enough. I was Lauren’s biggest client. The girls were more expendable than me.

  April was expendable.

  The thought made me rush to the door, but I only managed to catch a glimpse of her before the doors slid shut. That brief moment when our eyes locked together felt like a punch in the gut and I slowly closed the door before turning around to lean against it.

  So... I finally knew why April wouldn’t sleep with me. I didn’t like it—but I had an answer.

  Now I could either accept it and move on... or find a way around it.

  Hours later, I was pacing back and forth through her apartment like a caged lion. Whenever April wasn’t inhabiting the apartment with me, it made me feel twice as alone and isolated, despite the fact that I had more space.

  I hadn’t slept since she’d left and the exhaustion was beginning to seep into my bones, worry creeping in the longer I forced myself to stay awake. She had to be just as tired as I was. What if something happened to her? What if she wasn’t paying enough attention to traffic and stepped out in front of a car? Would someone call me?

  I growled in irritation, refusing to acknowledge the reason why I cared so much. It was bullshit, an illusion. I repeated it over and over in my head, but it was starting to lose its effect.

  Lunch came and went, and by the time late afternoon rolled around, I was worn down enough to admit that the only way I could ever really know whether these feelings were truth or illusion would be to get closer to her. And I knew that if I didn’t get closer…

  Well, I was likely to spend a long damn time trying to figure it out on my own. Something here was different—and it wasn’t a product of rejection.

  I was beginning to wonder whether she had gone to stay with a friend when the locks began to twist. I hopped out of the chair and ran for the door—unlatching the top two and pulling the door open to reveal her startled face.

  “Uh, hi…” she awkwardly said, her eyes moving all around my frame in an effort not to look at my face.

  My head cocked to the side and I furrowed my brow. “You look surprised to see me.”

  “I thought you’d be asleep,” she replied with a shrug, before shifting around on her feet. It was then that I noticed the bags in her hands and I stepped out of the way to let her through.

  “Groceries?” I questioned, following her into the kitchen and watching as she set them down.

  “Mostly.”

  Her short answers were a clear sign that she didn’t want to talk, but I wasn’t going to give it up that easily. I had waited around all fucking day for her return and we were going to have this conversation before I inevitably passed out. She was buzzing around the room like she wasn’t totally exhausted, but I could see that she was running on fumes.

  I blocked her path and stilled her with my hands on her shoulders, giving her a serious look as I said: “We need to discuss what you told me earlier.”

  “What’s there to discuss? I want to keep my job and if I sleep with you, I’ll lose it. Hence—I’m not going to. Simple as that.”

  She tried to shrug my hands off of her and I grated my teeth together, keeping my hold firm. I shook my head and scoffed, carefully watching her tired eyes as she dragged them up to meet mine.

  “I disagree. Would you like to know what would be simple?” I asked, giving her a moment to process the question before I leaned in and quietly said, “Us exploring whatever this thing is between us and keeping it to ourselves.”

  I let go of her shoulders and backed away, more than happy to give her space so I could attempt to read her body language. Judging by the lack of surprise on her face, I assumed it was something she had already considered. I took that as a very good sign.

  “Seriously April—Who has to know? I admit to being pretty obvious about my affairs with Lauren’s previous interns, but now that I know what I know... I can keep it a secret if you can.” Her mouth opened to disagree and I raised a finger. “Don’t act like you can’t lie. You’re stubborn as fuck. Just look how well you lied about not wanting me.”

  Her shoulders sagged. “Obviously not well enough.”

  “That’s different. I’m a master at reading body language,” I said casually before giving her my most charming smile. “We can do this, April. If you want to, of course. Just promise me you’ll at least think about it.”

  She looked wary about promising even that, so I raised my hands and began to back out of the room. This was yet another moment where I knew that pushing wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. April needed time and space.

  And I needed some fucking sleep.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To bed. It’s been a long day.”

  She reared back, her eyes incredulous as she sarcastically asked, “You had a long day? Of what? Sleeping?”

  I shrugged and scratched the back of my neck. April liked honesty, so that’s what I decided to give her.

  “I didn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”

  The way her eyes softened gave me that uncomfortable feeling in my stomach again, so I wished her sweet dreams and quickly made my way to the bedroom.

  After I stripped off all my clothes and flopped down on the mattress, I took a moment to be grateful that I was way too tired to stay awake and obsess about the way she looked at me and how it made me feel.

  19

  April

  After Jared left me alone in the kitchen, I made quick work of putting the groceries away before changing into my pajamas and snuggling up beneath my comforter on the couch. Between the lack of sleep and the long day of wandering
around my neighborhood, I couldn’t recall a time when I’d been so tired. Not even midterms had worn me out this much.

  But despite the fact that my mind and body were begging for sleep, as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, the memory of Jared holding me returned full-force. I could still feel him shifting around and drawing me closer, the warmth of his body seemingly seeping into every fiber of my being and making me feel more at home than I ever had in a man’s arms.

  What happened after that was equally the best sexual experience of my life and the worst. We hadn’t even had sex, yet I was left more riled up and desperate than ever before. His kiss was like a promise of all the good things that would follow. If only I would let him.

  Then there was the terrifying fact that my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my rib cage during the entire exchange. He’d asked me to think about exploring ‘this thing’ between us, but that only left me with the unanswerable question of: What did Jared consider a ‘thing’? Was he only feeling lust for me?

  Then he admitted to staying up because he was worried about me. There was something in his tone that made me melt, but the warning bells in my head screamed that I’d only be inviting pain by letting him further into my life that way.

  But my body? Well, my body was focused entirely on the gratification he could give me. Screw my head and my heart. I just wanted to know if he was really as good as he claimed to be.

  I groaned into my pillow and began to count sheep, mentally imagining them jumping over a fence while forcing the image of Jared out of my mind. It took longer than I would’ve liked, but I was eventually able to fall into a deep sleep.

  “Rise and shine, princess.”