Sugar

by Karin Kallmaker

  Sugar regarded Tree for a few seconds, then said, quite hon¬estly, "That's perfectly okay with me." Tree was without a doubt one of the sexiest women she'd ever met, but she wasn't feeling any sexual heat for her at all, which was a bit of a relief. There was nothing wrong with a prolonged hug and cuddle. Weren't those basic human needs?

  Tree hesitantly slid across the sofa toward Sugar. "Are you sure? I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."

  Tree settled into the crook of Sugar's arms feeling more like a feather than a body. "This is wrong? It feels pretty good to me."

  "I'm not usually so needy."

  "But there's nothing wrong with it when you are. Everybody has their days."

  "I missed Crystal tonight, though it's been months since she left."

  "Your ex?"

  "She wanted a different space. Seattle didn't feel right to her any longer."

  Tree spoke sadly and Sugar felt a pang of pity, though she was confused. If Tree wasn't over Crystal, then why the interest in her? Why the phone calls? "That must have been a difficult decision to reach."

  "Oh, that twenty-something sex maniac she left with I'm sure softened the blow." Before Sugar could react, Tree added, "Sorry, that was spiteful. There's no point to being angry. She was just doing what she felt was right for her at the time."

  "But she hurt you in the process. Doesn't that matter?"

  "If I was hurt, it was that my own expectations were unrealistic."

  Sugar frowned. "How so?"

  "Crystal made me no promises. That I presumed promises were made anyway was my error."

  "How long were you together?"

  "Eleven years."

  Sugar blinked. "Well, I think I'd be just a little bit pissed if I got

  left after all that time with no more than 'it doesn't feel right' as an explanation. Especially if there was someone else in the picture."

  "It's wasted energy, being angry about what I can't change." Tree sighed and Sugar felt like she'd disappointed Tree by needing to have that explained to her.

  "But anger is one of the great forces of change, isn't it? I got angry at being treated like a slave and paid less than the men with less experience than I had. But there were a dozen women who would have gladly taken my job on those terms, so it wasn't like I could change the boss. So I started my own business. I think it was the right thing for me to do. But I'd still be slaving my life away for that pig if I hadn't gotten angry about it."

  Tree sat up. "But what would change if I got angry about Crystal? She won't come back."

  "You'd feel less like a victim." The words were out before Sugar thought better of them.

  To her complete surprise, instead of being upset, Tree laughed. "Oh, perfect! You get a junior therapist merit badge for that. Dear heaven, I am being self-indulgent tonight."

  Sugar didn't quite know what to say, and wasn't all that sure she'd said anything brilliant, but was happy enough when Tree snuggled cheerfully back into her arms. It was a very comfortable, warm feeling. Sweet, definitely sensual, but not sexual. Tree smelled faintly of chlorine and oranges, a combination that made Sugar think of summer. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, remembering Emily's comment from last Saturday. Yes, there were times when she was happy enough with the world that if she died right then she'd have no real regrets. This easy, safe contentment wasn't quite as perfect as all that, but it was close.

  For the second time in a week, she woke with a crick in her neck. Tree's head rested on Sugar's stomach and the warmth of her body woke a primal urge inside her. It was the darnedest thing, then, that she thought of Charlie and the heat she'd felt standing on Gran's patio in front of the fuse box.

  You're cuddled on a couch with an incredibly beautiful, warm, insightful, loving woman, and you're thinking about someone else, she scolded herself. Even if you're not going to bed with Tree— and she wasn't—you could at least not be fantasizing about some¬one else.

  Was she fantasizing about Charlie? Why? Emily was dynamic, witty, charming and hotter than Tabasco. She was interested in Sugar's life, her dreams, her plans. Charlie was likely only inter¬ested in one thing. She was a big flirt. It was just... heat. Big deal. She had plenty of heat with Emily. And, at the moment, plenty of warmth with Tree.

  The digital clock said it was now after eleven. She shifted slightly, not meaning to wake Tree yet, but Tree startled awake with a little gasp.

  They stared at each other in the low light. Sugar tried to think of something light and amusing to say but before she could, Tree moved upward, and her hand came around the back of Sugar's head.

  Uh-oh was the only thought Sugar was conscious of, then Tree's lips met hers and they kissed. Goodness, Tree had a wonderful body, firm and female. It wasn't at all unpleasant to kiss her. But after the high she'd gotten from kissing Emily, it was simply not the same.

  Tree broke the kiss after a few moments, then settled into Sugar's arms with a sigh. "I had thought—" She paused to clear her throat. "I had thought we might walk the goddess way, but I don't think it's in the fates for us."

  "I'd very much like to be friends, though," Sugar said softly.

  Tree slowly sat up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be quite so mystical about it. I find it very comforting and calming to be with you. But..."

  "But there's no real spark."

  Tree laughed quietly. "Exactly. And I'm realizing that I've still got some wounds to heal before I could consider sharing myself with someone again."

  Relieved, Sugar gently disentangled her legs from around Tree. "Not to sleep and run, but I think I should head for home. Why don't we plan on a movie or something?"

  "We'll call it respite, not a date. Yes, I'd look forward to that." Tree walked with Sugar to the apartment door. "Thank you."

  "For what?"

  "For... not pretending you felt something that you didn't. For not taking advantage of me, because I think if you had we'd still be over there on the couch. I'm not over Crystal, and I think I'd con¬vinced myself if I went to bed with someone it might help in the process of grieving. But that was hardly fair to you."

  "I'm not sure it would work, either."

  For just a moment, Tree grinned at her flirtatiously. "Oh, given how gorgeous you are I think it would have worked—for a while, anyway."

  Sugar wrinkled her nose. Gorgeous? "I'm glad we didn't compli¬cate things."

  They kissed one more time at the door, but it was a friendly smooch. Driving home she couldn't help but compare how she felt now to how she had felt leaving Emily's. Holding Tree had been peaceful, as if her heart had been soothed and nourished by their contact. Yet there was no way they'd ever be lovers. So why was she sad about that when Emily offered such passion?

  The moon had grown from crescent to half. Not grown, she told herself. The moon was always the same. What changed was light and perspective. Tomorrow she'd be with Emily again. If the power stayed on and they stayed out of bed long enough, light and perspective would erase the nameless confusion she felt.

  Chapter 7

  Sugar sipped her frothy cafe mocha and flicked through her e-mail. Even though the expense wasn't welcome, her time at the Internet cafe was. She had already typed up her shopping list for the competition cake she was planning, and within a few minutes she'd leave for her date with Emily.

  She'd packed an overnight bag, which all by itself had felt odd. The first time she'd spent the night with Noor she hadn't expected it. Other trysts had been equally unplanned. She'd been sexually active for seventeen years and today was the first time she'd explic¬itly prepared for a night of—she hoped—abandoned intimacy during a date. She'd even included her sexiest pajamas, although her desire was of course not to need them. Her only regret was not having had the time to get her hair cut. The purple scrunchie was only capable of so much.

  Dinner, she reminded herself. You're having dinner first. Conversation, getting to know each other more. Her palms were

  slightly damp and her body was sta
rting to feel heavy and swollen. She wanted to skip dinner and proceed directly to a dessert of Emily and Sugar flambe.

  The early afternoon drizzle had blown through and the day turned into a promise of summer right around the corner. She drove into the setting sun to get to Mercer Island, her windows down and the radio tuned to classical. Emily was sure to be dressed in her apparently habitual feminine elegance, so Sugar had chosen soft linen slacks and a button-down blouse of peach silk, another of Noor's long-ago choices. She'd even spent time with eyebrow tweezers, a razor and moisturizers.

  Not being distracted by rain and the safety of a cake, Sugar noticed more about the island and the homes as she drove. Even with a television producer's salary, Sugar doubted Emily could afford to live on her part of the island without money from some other source. She had said she'd inherited that suit of armor in the hallway. She had a poise that spoke of a very different upbringing than Sugar's. She wasn't draped in conspicuously expensive jew¬elry, and her home didn't sport the latest in electronic baubles. Still, she didn't know what Emily's hobbies were, or if she lived her work the way Sugar did.

  She wished Emily had called after Saturday night. She was feel¬ing stupid that she had not called Emily either. It wasn't embar¬rassment as much as not being at all sure what the right thing to say was. Neither of them had meant to end up the way they had, but it had been deliriously wonderful. Their dinner was no longer a business meeting, it was a date with a definite yes already in place for further intimacy. Business and pleasure were mixing so very well.

  She followed the driveway to the back of the house again, but then didn't know if she should get out of the car with her overnight bag. Wouldn't that be presumptuous? Overeager? What if Emily had changed her mind?

  She decided at the last minute to leave the bag. She could come back for it. Maybe they'd stroll down to the lake after dinner and

  on the way back she'd casually mention that she had it. Yes, that would be better.

  She got out of the car and realized that Emily had opened the back door and was watching her.

  Breathe, she told herself. Breathe.

  Emily lounged against the doorjamb, apparently enjoying Sugar's blushing approach. She wore a white ruffled apron and nothing else. Sugar felt her body grow even heavier with desire. Wanting Emily's touch and craving the sensation of Emily's response to her hit her like a fabulous drug. Raw want ran up her spine, down her legs, swirled in her breasts, and her skin felt as if it tightened on her bones.

  "I suppose I don't need to ask what's for dinner." Sugar hoped she sounded somehow in control. The sight of the exposed out-sides of Emily's breasts and hips made her mouth go dry.

  "Dinner is paella."

  Sugar slid her arms around Emily's waist. Her heart was ham¬mering against her ribs. She felt positively primal as her hands swooped down to caress Emily's firm, inviting ass. Emily melted into her embrace with an unmistakable shudder. "I hope it can wait a while."

  "It's warming in the oven. We have appetizers first." Emily seemed to be having as much trouble breathing as Sugar was.

  "Like this?" Sugar found Emily's mouth and they moaned together into a long, deep wet lass. Her hips ground into Emily's and Emily responded by coiling one leg around Sugar's.

  Used to mutual, slower dances, Sugar wasn't prepared for the wave of erotic power she felt as Emily arched against her. Emily's back was pressed into the doorjamb and a pull on the tie at her neck revealed her soft, round breasts. Sugar ran her fingertips lightly over one nipple as they kissed and reveled in the panting "Yes" that Emily whispered into their kiss.

  They rocked together in the open doorway. Not at all sure where she got the confidence to try such a thing, Sugar pulled both of Emily's legs around her, supporting Emily's body on her thigh.

  They moved slightly and were against the wall next to the door now, Emily moaning feverishly as Sugar thrust her hand between Emily's exposed wetness and Sugar's thigh.

  "Please, yes, right now." Emily moaned. "I've been crazy all day, I couldn't think, I wanted this so much—yes, oh, like that."

  "Like that," Sugar echoed, as her fingers slid into the hot, wild welcome of tight muscles coated in slippery, copious wetness.

  Calmed by the depth of their contact, Sugar pulled her head back to make sure Emily was okay with how deep, hard and fast they were going. Emily's eyes were closed, her teeth bared. With an almost feral groan, she said, "Oh, don't stop now."

  "Like this?" Sugar withdrew her fingers, then surged in again, this time her hips behind her hand. "Is this what you want?"

  "Yes, baby, don't stop!"

  Their pace grew frantic. Sugar had never felt so much in con¬trol of what was happening. She could feel every pulse of Emily's body through her fingertips, and Emily's wild cries were intoxicat¬ing. She could feel Emily's body coiling for release, and wished they could stay just as they were for a little longer. It was so unbe¬lievably arousing to realize she was responsible for Emily's aban¬don and the reason Emily's cries of passion were edged with tears.

  She smothered Emily's scream with a kiss and held on tight while Emily shook against her. Her thigh was wet and for a moment they were suspended in perfect balance, chests heaving in rhythm. Then Emily's legs slipped back to die floor and she gasped as her knees threatened to buckle.

  "Over here," Sugar said, laughing from the high of Emily's climax. She pushed Emily onto the nearest counter, then wrapped both arms around her, pulling Emily's head to her shoulder. "Here, I've got you."

  "That was amazing."

  "You're amazing. That was some greeting."

  "I couldn't decide what to wear." Emily laughed softly into Sugar's ear. "I knew whatever it was I hoped not to wear it for very long."

  "You had an unfair advantage." Sugar lightly ran her fingers up and down Emily's naked back. "I didn't exactly want to wear any¬thing myself, but I had to drive."

  "Poor thing," Emily murmured. "How can I make it up to you?"

  "Will dinner really keep a while?"

  Emily grinned. "Yes."

  "Let's go to bed, then." Feeling like an acolyte of Venus, Sugar added in what she hoped was a sultry, alluring voice, "Take me to bed."

  Emily's mouth opened slightly as she took a deep breath. Her incredible blue eyes seemed to darken and then she was kissing Sugar again, with heat and abandon. Emily's fingers were at the buttons of Sugar's blouse. "All the way to the bedroom? It's a five-minute walk."

  "I plan to stay there a while." She pulled Emily to the edge of the counter, her hips moving suggestively between Emily's legs. "I want to do what we just did, all over again."

  "I'm not sure I can walk," Emily admitted. "It's been a long time since I... responded like that to anybody."

  "I'm not sure I ever have, but I liked it." Sugar grinned at Emily, then realized Emily was blushing. It was adorable.

  "I can't believe I met you at the door naked."

  "You weren't naked." Sugar pulled on the askew apron still clinging to Emily's waist.

  "Nearly. On Saturday we were both a little overwhelmed and I wasn't sure if you'd still want to be with me again, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized ..."

  "What?" Sugar nudged Emily slightly, thoroughly enjoying being the one with the poise for a few minutes.

  "That I wanted you to walk in the door and fuck the daylights out of me." Emily hid her face in Sugar's neck with a sigh.

  "And did I?"

  "Yep." Emily sighed again. "My other admission is that I'm

  starving. I was so keyed up I didn't eat most of the day. If I'm going to do to you all the things I want to, then I have to eat something."

  Sugar laughed, even though part of her was disappointed that she'd have to wait for the release her body was clamoring for. "Okay, we'll have dinner."

  Emily pushed Sugar away. "That doesn't mean I don't want a snack of you first."

  Sugar felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her by the look of hot desire
in Emily's eyes. Emily slid down off the counter like a cat, her fingers busy at Sugar's waistband. Sugar felt the kitchen island at the small of her back and her legs shook as Emily pushed her slacks down.

  "Oh..." Emily's hands caressed Sugar's hips as she draped her¬self over Sugar's body. Skin met skin as Emily sensuously slid to her knees in front of Sugar. "I've been thinking about this all day."

  The sensation of Emily's tongue slipping through Sugar's soaked folds drew a hoarse cry from Sugar. She wanted to spread her legs open more, but her slacks were in the way. With an eager, throaty groan, Emily pressed her face between Sugar's legs, and Sugar cried out again as she felt Emily's tongue, her lips, her teeth, capturing, holding and stroking everything she could reach.

  It was more than enough. Sugar's legs were shaking as she arched against Emily's hungry mouth. She'd never been this aban¬doned with anybody before. Sex finally made sense—it was about this unbearable tightness that ached to explode. About the sharp stab of fear that if she exploded she'd never find herself again, and the undeniable pleasure that pushed her past the fear. For a brief moment Sugar could not remember where she was, and that scared her, too. She was being moved, pushed back so she could lie back. She heard clatters but didn't care. Her slacks were no longer in the way and her legs were being pushed apart. And then Emily's mouth came back, and Emily was inside her, too. Everything was yellow and flashing purple behind her eyelids, then her body finally found a shattering release.

  Laughing, they picked up the scattered fruit and bowls that had fallen to the floor when Emily had pushed her up onto the kitchen island. Tidying up ended with long, dancing, straining kisses and Emily the one on the counter while Sugar—with a laughing leer— "snacked."

  They ate dinner, though Sugar couldn't tell if it was paella or poi, and she didn't care either. Her body felt unreal. She'd never come like that in her life, and apparently she was entering a greedy phase because she wanted more. It also seemed that the bedroom was not required for her libido, because she found more of the same ecstasy spread out on the stairs, with Emily stretched out on top of her.