Bleeding Hearts: The Complete Duet

by A. Zavarelli

  Again, with the irony.

  Nicole cruised down the street and punched the automatic door locks when we hit a red light. I didn’t blame her in this neighborhood, and it only added to my stress about what I was going to do. This wasn’t somewhere I wanted to raise a baby, but what choice did I have? Things weren’t any better back at Norma’s, and there was no way I’d let my baby grow up around that.

  I needed to get my shit together, and quick.

  “So Matt set this up?” Nicole asked, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel as she waited for the light to change.

  “Yeah, it was really nice of him. I hope I get it.”

  “Me too.” She gave me a weak smile. “But how did he even know about this job?”

  There was something weird in her voice, and I started fidgeting with my cardigan. I didn’t want to upset her, but I didn’t want to lie either.

  “He knows one of the waitresses there.”

  She nodded, as though I only confirmed what she already knew. Her entire posture changed, and she got that faraway look in her eyes.

  “We should meet up with him this week,” I suggested. “I know he’d love to see you.”

  It took Nicole a minute to realize I was talking to her. “What?” she blinked. “Oh, yeah, sure. We could do that.”

  Twenty minutes later, we walked into the bar.

  Nicole went and ordered a drink while I asked for the owner. He was an older gentleman by the name of David, and he put me at ease right away.

  “Why don’t you have a seat, Brighton.” He gestured to the bar. “We can do a quick interview before the lunch crowd hits.”

  I took a seat, and David brought over a piece of paper with some questions scrawled across it. Luckily for me, they were all easy to answer, and I lied through my teeth. I told him I’d waitressed before, which wasn’t my finest moment, but I really needed this job. After five minutes, he set the paper down and gave me a grin.

  “Well, Matt was right. I think you’ll do just fine. When can you start?”

  I tried to contain my glee as I smiled back at him. “Whenever you need me to.”

  “Okay, how about tomorrow night then? Six o’clock.”

  I stood up and shook his hand. “Thanks, David. Thank you so much.”

  ***

  That night I texted Matt to tell him how grateful I was.

  And then, as I curled into bed, I performed my evening ritual of reading through the texts Ryland sent me throughout the day. I still hadn’t found the courage to change my phone number. It was the last connection I had to him, and there was still a piece of me that just couldn’t let that go. But I would only ever allow myself to look at his texts once, and it was always at night before I went to sleep.

  I scrolled through the screen and tried to keep my emotional armor on while I read his usual messages.

  Baby girl.

  Please talk to me.

  I’m thinking of you right now.

  I won’t tell you what, but just know

  that if you were here,

  You’d be sore as hell tomorrow.

  I love you, Brighton.

  I’m not giving up on us.

  I closed my eyes and released a shaky breath. Every day, it was the same version of texts. He told me how much he missed me. Begged me to talk to him. And then, professed how much he loved me. He wasn’t shy about saying that at all now. But we still hadn’t really spoken about what happened.

  He swore he was done with his revenge. That he fucked up, and he didn’t want to lose me. I wanted so badly to believe him. But he’d lied to me before, and I didn’t just have myself to think about anymore.

  So I resorted to my heartbreaking ritual of typing out the same words I did every night. The message that I could never actually send.

  I love you, Ryland.

  ***

  I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out of the doctor’s office and frowned. The same guy I’d seen earlier was still there, leaning against the brick wall. He was smoking a cigarette, his eyes scanning up and down the street. It was probably just a coincidence, but I could have sworn I saw him the week before too. And that was on the other side of the city.

  “What’s the matter?” Nicole whispered.

  “It’s just that guy,” I answered. “I don’t know, I thought I saw him last week at Misha’s place. And he’s been out here the whole time I was in my appointment. Am I being crazy paranoid?”

  He looked at us, and I could have sworn guilt flickered across his face. There was something familiar about him. A hazy image of the man who cut the airbag in the car popped into my head, but I couldn’t place him now. Was this the same guy? He was huge. Like body builder type huge. Dark hair and dark appraising eyes. Nothing in particular about him stood out, apart from the fact that he was dressed in a nice suit. It was odd for this neighborhood.

  “I don’t know.” Nicole tugged on my arm. “But let’s not stick around to find out.”

  We walked down the street, and when I glanced back over my shoulder, he was gone. Matt met us at a café around the corner, buying us both a hot chocolate and a muffin for lunch.

  “So?” he raised his brows. “How did it go?”

  “Good.” I nodded. “I’m not scheduled to have an ultrasound for a while, but I just wanted to get established with the doctor.”

  “Gotcha.” Matt looked confused. This was definitely not his department.

  “Sooo….” He swung his gaze to Nicole. “Misha said you were moving out?”

  Nicole and I both looked at each other. We hadn’t really planned on how we were going to break the news to Matt.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “We are moving out.” Nicole fiddled with a packet of sugar, her eyes looking everywhere but at him. “Brighton and I got an apartment together. In fact, we moved this weekend.”

  “Oh.” Matt’s tone dropped. “Where at?”

  “Well, I think for now, it would be best if nobody else knew.”

  Matt narrowed his eyes and worked his jaw. He definitely wasn’t happy about this. At all.

  “Nicole…”

  “I’m not accountable to you,” she cut him off. “I don’t have to tell you where I’m at or what I’m doing.”

  I shot her a pleading glance. I knew she wasn’t telling him because he would worry, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. She was only pushing him further away.

  “Right.” He stood up and set down his unfinished coffee. “I get it, Nicole. I was just trying to look out for you. As a friend. Because that’s what friends do. But I guess I had it all wrong.”

  Her lip wobbled, but she didn’t say another word. So Matt walked out the door.

  ***

  I collapsed onto my bed with a sigh. Today had been exhausting already, and I still had to work in an hour. I was nervous as hell.

  Working as a receptionist was easy for me because it took minimal coordination. Waitressing on the other hand… I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. But how hard could it be?

  My phone chimed. I was afraid to even look at it, but I couldn’t resist.

  Missing you, baby girl.

  The office isn’t the same without you.

  They were Ryland’s usual texts. But as I scrolled down, I noticed there were a lot more today. And panic set in when I realized why.

  Why were you at the doctor, Brighton?

  What’s wrong?

  Don’t punish me this way.

  I need to know you’re okay.

  Please, baby girl.

  I stopped reading. I knew he’d be freaking out and thinking the worst. It hurt me, but I couldn’t break my rule. I couldn’t text him back. Because that would be opening a door I wouldn’t be able to close again. And I needed to be more concerned about the fact that he knew what I was doing.

  It was that guy loitering outside of the building, it had to be.

  I needed to be more careful. The last thing I wanted was for Ryland to figur
e out where I was living.

  Chapter Five

  Ryland

  Unfuckingbelievable.

  Did you know that science has actually proven swearing to be cathartic? Wonder how much it cost to figure that one out. I could’ve told them for free.

  Brighton was poking the beast inside of me with her invisible stick. Would it be hypocritical to say that I didn’t like her keeping secrets from me? I'd tasted my own medicine, and it was bitter. So very bitter.

  Still, she knew how I handled this kind of shit. I didn’t. Something was wrong, and she hadn’t cracked her code of silence after any of my various texts. My frustration bled through the messages the longer this act of rebellion carried on. Usually, a good dose of my cantankerous attitude would do the trick. Brighton didn’t like confrontation. She didn’t like anyone to worry. She was always so goddamned concerned about everybody but herself. Often, I could twist that in my favor, because… well, let’s be frank, a man such as myself needed her reassurances. But this time she wasn’t giving them. Cruel and unusual punishment, I’d say.

  She’d know someone on my payroll was keeping an eye on her now. What did it matter? Brighton should know my M.O. Mick wasn’t just following her around for information. He was there to keep her safe. It was what I liked to call compromise. But I only had so much patience, and she’d just stretched it to the limit.

  “Why didn’t you follow her inside?” I blared through the phone.

  “She was onto me,” Mick rumbled. “You said not to get too close.”

  “So you lost her completely?” My indignation was not well hidden.

  “I thought you didn’t want me to scare her.”

  Ah, touché, Mick. Pulling out that old fucking chestnut. No, I didn’t want him to scare her. And if she had any recollection of who he was, she probably would be scared.

  “Not happy, Mick.” I rocked back in my chair and squinted at the bottle of Macallan across the room. I knew what I’d be doing as soon as this call was finished.

  “I know, boss.”

  “How many doctors are in that building?”

  “A lot, sir.”

  I could probably get her medical records. Eventually. But I’d need to know the doctor first. And if Brighton ever found out, she’d lay into me with a whole speech about ‘right and wrong.’ I hardly needed to supply extra reasons to hate me, so I’d put it on hold. For now.

  “Oh, hang on. There’s something else, sir.”

  I reached for the marble paperweight Brighton held in her hand on that first day, smoothing the pad of my finger over the inky blackness. If I didn’t know her so well, I would’ve wondered what it was that drew her to it.

  “What is it?” I asked absently.

  “That bar she was at yesterday?”

  “Yes?”

  “Well, I had a hunch, so I’ve been hanging around the place. And she just came back here.”

  “With who?” I perked up.

  “She’s by herself,” he said. “But she looks like she’s wearing a uniform.”

  “A uniform?”

  Oh, Jesus Christ, Brighton.

  I was up out of my chair before I’d even fully processed his words. “Wait for me in the parking lot. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

  Chapter Six

  Brighton

  My first night at work was not going that great.

  I kept messing up orders and forgetting everything. What Nicole affectionately deemed my ‘pregnancy brain’ was going to cost me my job if I wasn’t careful.

  I knew David was already losing his patience with me. I kept apologizing, but he’d ended up having to comp two tables’ meals already. At this rate, I probably wouldn’t even have a paycheck.

  I’d hoped to be eased into it, but the place was completely packed out. It was a little more overwhelming than I expected, and my feet were already killing me. But I plastered a smile on my face and told myself I could cry later when I was home in the safety of my bed.

  “Hey!” Some guy in one of the booths snapped his fingers at me. “Where the hell is our food?”

  Shit.

  I glanced down at my pad of paper and realized I’d never put their order in. And this was the second time he’d asked me about it.

  “It’ll be out soon.” I gave him a shaky smile. I was going to lose it any minute now.

  “That’s what you said ten minutes ago,” he bellowed.

  He was obviously drunk and very hungry. And now he was pissed at me. His dark eyes narrowed when I just stood there, unable to conjure up the words I needed.

  “Are you retarded?” he barked. “Do you speak English? WHERE’S. MY. FUCKING. FOO…”

  The moment the last syllable flew from his mouth, a fist slammed across his jaw. I stumbled backwards and bumped into a table when Ryland swung his gaze from the man he just punched back to me.

  I had no idea where he’d even come from, or how the hell he knew I was here. But his eyes were glazed with ice and his voice deadly calm when he gestured towards me.

  “Apologize to my girlfriend.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but the guy in the booth cut me off as he stood up and slammed his palms against Ryland’s chest.

  Ryland held his ground, looking scarier than I’d ever seen him- in a suit and tie no less. His face hadn’t been shaved in what looked like a week. Dark circles marred his normally beautiful eyes, and his jaw seemed more prominent than I remembered. And yet, his chest heaved with the force of adrenaline, like he was looking forward to pummeling this guy. Like he needed to purge himself of his darkness. I’d seen it happen a thousand times, but never in this way. He was solid and strong and completely unshakable.

  The guy he’d punched spat blood out of his mouth before a crazy grin spread across his face.

  “Your girlfriend’s a fucking idiot…”

  Again, he was cut off by Ryland’s fist. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in my shirt as I heard his body crumple to the ground. I knew he was out cold this time.

  I darted back towards the kitchen, but a hand wrapped around my arm and stopped me.

  “You’re coming with me,” Ryland clipped out.

  “I’m not going anywhere with…”

  “It’s cute how you think you have a choice.”

  He grabbed my hand and tugged me along behind him. Everyone in the bar was dead quiet as they watched the show, including David. I was humiliated.

  “Ryland,” I hissed. “Let go of me.”

  “What’s going on here?” David asked.

  “You can consider this her resignation,” Ryland informed him.

  I panicked and shook my head. “That’s not true, David. I’m so sorry about all of this. Could I just have one minute, please?”

  David gave me a sympathetic glance and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Brighton. But this isn’t going to work out.”

  I nodded and gave him a watery smile. I’d never been fired from a job before, and I was absolutely mortified. Ryland walked on, pulling me along with him, and I didn’t resist this time. But as soon as we were in the parking lot, I jerked away from him.

  “I hate you!” I spat. “How dare you come in here and pull that crap. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  Tears streamed down my face, and Ryland didn’t look the least bit guilty. He tried to pull me back into his arms. I wouldn’t let him. No way could I allow that. I wasn’t strong enough to fight the comfort he provided right now.

  “Brighton, you can’t work here,” he stated. “Let me take care of you. You have a card, I want you to use it. I’ll pay your rent, whatever you want. Just tell me where you’re living…”

  “You mean you don’t know that already?” I accused. “I know you’re having me followed.”

  He tightened his jaw and looked away. “You make it sound so…”

  “What?” I interrupted. “Crazy? Because it is crazy, Ryland.”

  “It’s for your own safety,” he said. “I’m worried about y
ou.”

  “Nothing is going to happen to me,” I insisted. “And I’m not going to humor these tactics of yours just to put you at ease. You need to let me go, Ryland.”

  He looked like I’d slapped him as his eyes fell on mine. “I can never let you go, Brighton.”

  “You have to,” I croaked.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I know that isn’t what you really want. I can see it on your face, baby girl. So why are you still pushing me away?”

  I couldn’t answer him. Because my reasons wouldn’t sound convincing enough with the mood I was in. My resolve was already wavering after being in his presence for five minutes. What the hell was wrong with me?

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Let me take you home.”

  “No.”

  “Brighton…”

  “No,” I said again. “I’ll have Nicole come and get me.”

  “Then I’ll wait with you.”

  “I don’t want you to!” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Can’t you understand that, Ryland? I don’t want you here. I don’t want anything else from you. So just go!”

  His eyes filled with pain, and I had to tear mine away. I couldn’t look at him. I knew I was hurting him, but it was necessary. It was the only way I could truly do this.

  “If that’s what you really want…”

  “It is what I want,” I assured him in a shaky voice.

  He nodded and gave me one last glance before he walked away.

  Chapter Seven

  Ryland

  There had been times over the years- during the rise of my career- when I needed a man without a whole lot of scruples. Though I preferred to grind most axes myself, some things in the business world simply weren’t done this way. There was an entire invisible rule book one must abide by. It involved bandwagons, fire and brimstone, horses’ mouths, and so on and so forth. All very secret society type stuff. I wouldn’t bore you with the details, and you probably wouldn’t believe me anyhow.