Breaking Hollywood

by Samantha Towle

  I press my hand to his cheek. “It’s going to be okay, Gabe.”

  His eyes tell me he’s not so sure.

  “Whatever happens, I’ll be with you, every step of the way. I’ve got your back.”

  He leans his forehead against mine and breathes deeply. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.”

  “Right back at ya, babe.”

  He kisses me again. Then, he takes my hand and leads me over to a lounger. He sits first and then pulls me to sit between his legs. I rest my back against his chest and lay my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me. I can feel his heart beating strong against me.

  I glance over at the glasses of alcohol that Charly left for us. Thinking about what he just said, I ask, “Do you want me to get rid of the drinks?”

  He’s silent a moment. “No. Leave them there. I’m not saying I’m going to drink it right now, but I know that I won’t be able to not drink it either—without some help.”

  “Then, we’ll get you help real soon.”

  He presses a kiss to the top of my head.

  We sit in silence, just being together.

  I think about everything. About Digby and Sandy. The bugs in the apartment. Gabe’s past out there for public fodder.

  “What’s going to happen with Digby and Sandy?” I ask him.

  He sighs. “I don’t know. I guess we wait and see what Martin can find out about those bugs, if they’re traceable back to either of them. But I know one thing for sure. I’m not letting those fuckers get away with this. Bugging my apartment and setting you up to take the fall. I nearly lost you because of those bastards.”

  I slide my hands over his and link our fingers together. “We’d have found our way back to each other; I’m sure of it.”

  “Once I stopped being an asshole and started listening to you, you mean?”

  “Yeah, something like that.” I laugh softly. “You’re going to need to call Gil and let him know what’s going on—about Sandy and the bugs in your apartment.”

  “I had Vaughn call him to fill him in while I came to see you. But I do need to talk to Gil about all that shit and about the press release. I know he’s probably getting twitchy, waiting for my answer on it.”

  “Press release?” I ask.

  “About my past. Gil had my publicist draft a statement. I have to sign off on it.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  “I’m not.”

  I sit around and look at him. “Don’t you want to tell your side of the story? Get the actual truth out there to your fans?”

  “Yeah, I do. But the statement just doesn’t feel right. It says nothing about the truth in it. It’s just basically an apology for my past.”

  “So, change it. Rewrite it yourself.”

  “I’m not exactly a great writer, Speedy. I’m more of a verbal guy, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “So, if talking is your strength, tell them face-to-face from your own mouth.”

  “I don’t want to go on a fucking talk show and spill my guts.”

  “So, don’t. Record a video. Say everything you want to and then put it out there on your social media. That way, you’re directing it to the people who matter—your fans.”

  He stares at me for a long moment. “You ever thought of being a publicist? Because you’d be fucking awesome at it.”

  “I’m awesome at most things.” I give a shrug and a teasing smile.

  “You’re awesome at everything, Speedy. Except for driving. That, you suck at.”

  “Hey! It was my shitty driving that brought us together.”

  Gabe laughs, and the sound is beautiful. “Yeah, and I’m thankful every fucking day for that.”

  Gabe

  I’ve decided to do a live video on Facebook. No fucking around. Just go live on social media and get it over with.

  Julian, Vaughn, and Charly left to give us some privacy while I do this video. Martin left straight after checking Ava’s car and mine. Thankfully, they were clear. He said he’d be in touch as soon as he had something on the bugging devices.

  I also spoke to Gil. Told him to scrap the press release. I told him that I was going to do this myself, my way. He’s not too happy with me doing a live video. But it’s not like I’m doing a Q&A session. I’m just going on there, telling my side of the story, and then I’m done.

  I also told Gil about the bugs in my apartment. He’s on with the lawyers right now. And I gave him Martin’s contact details, so the lawyers could talk to him directly if needed.

  I’m just having a cigarette out on the terrace.

  I glance over at the drinks on the table. They’re still there.

  I’ve not had anything to drink. I want to do this video with a clear head. But I know I will drink something before the day is out. I can’t not. I just need to watch how much I drink.

  And, first thing tomorrow, I’m getting in touch with whomever I need to, to help me kick this habit I have.

  I want to be a better man for Ava. I want to be a better man for me. And cleaning my act up is the first step at that. But the cigarettes are definitely not going. For the time being anyway.

  Ava suggested that maybe I could talk to someone about my past. About my parents and the way I used to earn money. She thinks it all contributes to my excessive drinking. A way to dull the memories.

  I think she’s probably right.

  “You ready, baby?” Ava steps out onto the terrace.

  “Yeah.” I stub my cigarette out and get to my feet.

  When I reach Ava, she takes hold of my hand and leads me inside.

  “I’ve got your phone ready to go on Facebook live.”

  “Okay.” I sit down on the sofa.

  She sits on the coffee table, across from me. “I put Gucci in the kitchen. I didn’t want her jumping in the video or making noise while you did this.”

  “She won’t be happy,” I tell Ava.

  “I gave her some sliced apples and pears, so that should keep her happy for five minutes.”

  God, I can’t believe I’m about to do this.

  I swallow down and rub my hands on my thighs.

  I’m shitting bricks. I’m man enough to admit that.

  I’m about to go on camera and tell the world things I’ve been keeping secret for a very long time. But I don’t have that choice anymore, thanks to that bastard, Digby, and Sandy, his bitch of a sidekick.

  “You okay?” Ava reaches over and squeezes my leg.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s do this.”

  “Okay.” She smiles gently.

  She lifts my phone up to video me. “Just tell me when.”

  I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. “Okay…I’m ready.”

  “It’s just counting down. Three…two…one…” She gives me a thumbs-up to tell me I’m live.

  Here goes nothing.

  “People of Facebook. Hey. I’m sure you know who I am because you’re on my social media page. But, for those of you who don’t, I’m Gabriel Evans. If you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t know who I am, well, I’m sure you will soon enough. A news story about me went out last night, and that’s why I am here. Because I want to address the things that have been said about me.

  “I could have done the press release stuff. But I didn’t want to hide behind a piece of paper pulled together for me by my publicist. I wanted to talk to you all directly.

  “I know what you’ve all read about me in the media over the last day. And I’m not here to deny any of that. It’s true. My parents are in prison. They’re serving time for racketeering, drug trafficking, and murder. But I think the piece of news that has probably shocked and intrigued everyone is that I used to sleep with women for money. That is also true.

  “But the truth you’ve been given by the so-called journalist who released this story is a vague representation of what actually happened. There are reasons behind people’s actions, and there we
re reasons behind my actions. It’s easy to judge based on the initial outlined facts, but when you dig a bit deeper, color in the actual picture with details, those actions begin to make more sense. The story that you first thought you were getting suddenly seems a hell of a lot clearer. A lot more understandable.

  “I hope, by telling you the details of my story, you’ll see that, sometimes, when you read something in the media, even though the facts stated are the ‘truth’”—I air-quote the word—“they’re not the whole truth. So, here it is.” I clasp my hands together in front of me and blow out a breath.

  “But, before I get started on the details, I firstly want to apologize to my girlfriend, Ava, who is currently standing behind the camera, filming me for you guys.” I look directly at her, our eyes meeting.

  “I was led to believe that Ava had betrayed me. That she had recorded a private conversation between us and sold the rights to the story to a vulture of a man who I won’t even give the dignity of naming, but I think you all know who I’m talking about. I blamed her. Yelled at her. And told her to leave our apartment—yeah, I did that. But, in my defense, the evidence against her was strong. The people behind this went to great lengths to make it look like it was Ava who had done this. But it wasn’t Ava.

  “She is a victim in this, as much as I am. Our privacy was invaded, and a private conversation between us in our home, detailing events from my past, was recorded without our knowledge, and then Ava was tricked into signing a release form disguised as something else. This might sound far-fetched, but sometimes, the truth is just that—far-fetched. Because we good people would never do something like that, we find it hard to believe that someone would go so far. Believe me when I say, they would. The lengths these people went to, to get this story is fucking scary. And something needs to be done about that, but that’s for my legal team to deal with.

  “My past is mine. But, as it’s been made public knowledge, I want to clear some things up. Yes, my parents are in prison. The crimes they committed are in no way a reflection on my brother and me. You can’t choose the family you’re born into. And my brother and I definitely didn’t choose our parents. But having him as my brother is the best thing to come out of it.” I take a breath.

  “When our parents were arrested, I was seventeen, months from my eighteenth birthday. My brother was twelve. He was, without a doubt, going to be taken away from me and placed with a family. We were all each other had left. So, we ran. Using what little money I had in my savings, I got us a place, and I landed a job. But the money wasn’t enough. Before I knew it, I was working three jobs and still barely scraping by. I was just paying the bills and feeding us both.

  “Then, the chance to get into escorting was presented to me. It was more money, not tons, but it meant I could work one job during the day and escort on nights. Then, after a while, things changed. I was offered money to have sex with a client. A lot of money. I was young. Getting paid to have sex with a hot older woman, more money than I would have made in a month, was a dream come true. So, I did it. And I carried on doing it. The money gave us a better life, and even though it was—is illegal, I don’t regret what I did because it meant that I could give my brother a better life.

  “Then, I was lucky, and things changed for me. I got the opportunity to get into acting, and my life got better from that point on.

  “I won’t sit here and say I’m proud of what I did. But, if I were put into that situation again, would I do things the same? If it meant keeping a roof over my brother’s head and being able to feed him, then yes. We all do things that we’re not proud of, but when you go to judge me for my decisions in life, think about yourself—what you would do for those you love. And then think about me again and see if your judgment would still be the same.

  “So, that’s it. Thank you for listening to me. And I’ll see you guys soon.”

  I look at Ava, and she ends the video, holding the phone in her lap.

  “How did I do?”

  “Amazing. Gabe…that was…perfect. If people don’t understand and love you even more after that, then they must be stupid. The views were into the hundreds of thousands, and the comments were coming through thick and fast. I could barely keep up with them, but they all seemed to be comments of support. There was an awful lot of love hearts flying across the screen.”

  “Really?” That picks me up.

  “Really.” She smiles.

  She comes over and straddles my lap, handing me my phone. “You should take a look, see for yourself.”

  “I will. In a minute.” I put the phone on the sofa beside me. “I just want five minutes with my girl.”

  I take her face in my hands, bring her to my lips, and kiss her.

  “Thank you for being here,” I murmur against her mouth.

  She leans back, looking me in the eyes. “Where else would I be?”

  “After the way I treated you, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you had never come back to me.” I sigh. “I know I’m difficult and an asshole ninety percent of the time, but I do love you.”

  “Ninety percent’s a bit generous. More like ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the time.”

  “Funny.”

  “I’m a comedian, didn’t you know?” She grins. “You’re being too hard on yourself. Let’s just forget everything that happened and focus on the future. You’ve got a house to build me, remember?”

  “Yeah, I do, don’t I?”

  She nods.

  “I’ll still have to deal with Digby and Sandy though.”

  “I know. But we’ll do it together, Gabe.”

  “Together sounds pretty fucking good to me.” I tightly band my arm around her, bringing her closer.

  “Baaahhh! Baaahhh!”

  “Sounds like Gucci’s finished her food.”

  I chuckle, and Ava laughs.

  “I’ll go let her out.” She gets up from my lap and walks to the kitchen.

  The next thing I know, the bundle of fur called Gucci comes flying into the living room. She jumps on the sofa and head-butts me in the arm.

  “Jesus, Gucci! Nice to see you, too.”

  “Babe, you want a coffee?” Ava calls from the kitchen. “I’m making one.”

  “Sure,” I say.

  Gucci settles down on the sofa beside me.

  I pick my cell up and swipe the screen open.

  It’s still on the video. The comments are filling my screen.

  I’m reading through them when Ava comes back in the living room. She hands me my coffee and sits on the sofa next to me.

  Gucci gets up and climbs over my lap and onto Ava. Then, she sprawls out, stretching across us both.

  We chuckle at her.

  “What are people saying?” Ava asks.

  “That they think I’m awesome.”

  “You are.”

  I turn my phone off and put it down.

  “You okay?” Ava asks me.

  I look at her, sitting here beside me with Gucci lying on us, and I know that I’ve never been more okay in my life.

  I reach out and cup her cheek with my hand. I press a kiss to her lips. “I’m more than okay,” I tell her. “You’re everything to me, Speedy. You know that, right?”

  She presses her hand to mine. “I know. And I hope you know, the same goes for you.”

  “I do.” I smile.

  And I really do.

  I know, with her by my side, everything is going to be just fine.

  Gabe

  One Year and Ten Months Later

  Taking a drag of my cigarette, I stare out at the view of the reservoir and the canyon surrounding it from my spot on our porch at the back of our house.

  Speedy and I had the ranch of our dreams built pretty much straightaway, and we’ve called it home for the last eight months.

  I look at Gucci and Donnie running around in the paddock, chasing a butterfly. The sun is shining, glinting off the pool.

  It’s fucking idyllic.

  It’s ho
me.

  I can’t believe I got so lucky to have all of this.

  But, most of all, to have Speedy. The girl that dreams are made of.

  She’s inside, getting dressed to go out for dinner. It’s our two-year anniversary of the day she ran over my foot. We class that as the day we got together because that was the day that she came into my life and never left.

  Oh, if you’re wondering who Donnie is, he’s our new pygmy goat. Speedy bought him for me for my birthday six months ago. He’s all black with a white patch on his head. He’s the cutest fucking thing, not that I’d ever admit that out loud.

  I called him Don Corleone. I had to give him a cool name, right? But Speedy said it was too much of a mouthful to say every time. And she said Don sounded like an old man’s name, so she nicknamed him Donnie, and it stuck.

  Gucci loves her baby brother.

  Probably about as much as I love mine. Tate’s doing really well. When his residency finished, Presbyterian offered him a permanent job, which he took, even though I offered him money to set up his own private practice. I still offer the money on a regular basis, and he knocks me back every time.

  Stubborn asshole.

  But, one of these days, he’ll say yes. I’m sure of it.

  Tate is also heavily involved with the charity that he, Speedy, and I set up.

  I came up with the idea for it a couple of days after I did the live video.

  It went viral. My story was in every newspaper, and the video was playing on every chat show for weeks after. I received thousands of letters and emails of support. And almost every celebrity came out to support me. A lot of the messages I received were from people whose parents had gone to prison, and they had been left either in the foster system or with relatives. I heard stories that were very similar to Tate’s and mine. Kids who’d ended up on the streets. People who had turned to prostitution to feed themselves and their siblings. People who’d had it worse than I had. And I knew I had to do something to help.

  So, I came up with the idea of Healing the Breaks.

  It’s a nonprofit charity designed to help kids and young adults whose parents have gone to prison. Whether it’s making sure they have somewhere to live or if they need counseling or support or even money to help get them started, we provide that for them.