Just This Once, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge #3)

by J. H. Croix

  Becca glanced to Oscar who had curled up against her, his head resting on her thigh. “The only reason I’m hesitating is because of my work schedule. He’s about the sweetest dog I could find.” She stroked her hand into his neck. He arched into her touch.

  Ellie’s eyes sparkled and she clapped her hands quickly. “We can work that out! There are a few doggie daycare places nearby that I’ve checked out before. Oscar could go play all day when you have long days at work. Come on, think about it. Please,” she cajoled.

  Becca grinned. She couldn’t believe it, but she was seriously considering it. She loved dogs and hadn’t had one since she was a child. They had a family dog when she was young. Samson had been a constant presence in those years. He’d been an oversized lab mix who tagged along on just about every outdoor activity the family had. She recalled being so devastated when he died, she hadn’t wanted another dog and had resolutely told her mother she could never love another dog the way she’d loved Samson.

  She glanced down at Oscar who’d fallen asleep against her, his body soft and relaxed. His mere presence was soothing to her. She made a quick decision. “How about this? I’ll be out of the office at least a month. I haven’t decided yet if I’m actually taking a vacation, but I’ll have more time on my hands than usual no matter what. I’ll see how things go with him here. I’ll have to work some, so I can try the doggie daycare then. If it works out, I’ll keep him.”

  Ellie squealed and leaned over to hug Becca. “This is perfect! You’re going to love him! I’ll go back to Aidan’s place this afternoon and bring his food bowl and stuff to you. Will that work?”

  “Of course. Anything you think I should get for him? Maybe we should head over to the pet store for a dog bed and some toys.” Becca couldn’t quite believe she’d just proposed keeping Oscar, but she was excited.

  Ellie nodded and clapped her hands again. “Let’s go!”

  Over the next few hours, the three of them trundled out of her apartment, into Ellie’s car, and on to the closest pet store. As the afternoon went along, she found herself wanting to ask Ellie about Aidan. She wasn’t so sure that was a good idea, not because she worried Ellie would be upset, but because it made what happened with Aidan feel too real.

  “How come you don’t just take an actual vacation, instead of sort of taking the month off and trying to work from home?” Ellie asked as she drove back toward Becca’s apartment. The backseat of her car was laden with dog supplies and a very happy Oscar who’d been given way too many treats at the store.

  Becca had filled her in on her situation at work. She considered Ellie’s question and wondered why she hadn’t even considered it. She wasn’t one for vacations. She usually only took time off for family events. She shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems…” She didn’t know what it seemed like and paused to think.

  Ellie glanced her way when she came to a stop at an intersection. “Seems like what?”

  “I don’t know,” Becca said with a sheepish smile. “I guess I don’t take too many vacations. Taking a whole month off seems like too much. As much as admin work annoys me, Barry said I could be flexible with my schedule, so I figured I’d tough it out.”

  The light changed and Ellie looked back to the road. “You’re like Aidan. Work, work, work. Maybe this is a sign from the universe that you need to relax.”

  “A sign from the universe?” Becca asked wryly.

  Ellie giggled. “Make fun if you want, but you’ve been handed an opportunity. I say take it!”

  Later that night after Ellie left, Becca settled in for another night of comfort television. Oscar dragged his new favorite toy—a stuffed squirrel—onto the couch with him. It rested by his paws while he slept against her thigh. She pondered Ellie’s suggestion. It bothered her that every time she considered taking a month off, a sense of loneliness rose inside. Though she’d done a pretty good job on convincing herself she’d be perfectly happy to be single forever, vacations were an annoying flaw in that picture. Because she’d grown up in a large, bustling family, she was accustomed to sharing vacations with those close to her. She didn’t think she could tolerate trying to do nothing at home for a month, nor did she want to book herself a trip somewhere alone. Maybe someday, but not right now.

  Of course, she’d also just assumed responsibility for Oscar, and she couldn’t even consider leaving his side right now. She laughed to herself when she considered that she’d proposed keeping him for the month and now she knew with certainty he was here to stay. Her phone chirped on the coffee table. She snatched it up to see a text from Aidan.

  I hear you’ve adopted Oscar. You just made Ellie’s month. How’s it going?

  Who’d have guessed, huh? Oscar’s doing great.

  You?

  She hesitated. She imagined he wondered how she was handling her forced break from work. Tension rose in her. She wanted to banter with him, to have a comfortable relationship where they could do that. But she was so worked up inside over the way he made her feel, she couldn’t be normal. It’s just a text. Calm down. Don’t make it into something more than it is. She shook her head. Seriously, she was being ridiculous.

  Annoyed about work, but fine. You?

  Busy. Missed seeing you around today. Any chance I could see you soon?

  Her heart leapt. She could hardly stand it, but she loved that he asked. She was trying her damnedest not to think about it and succeeding most of the time, but she wanted to see him so badly it hurt at moments. This was Aidan, her brother’s good friend and a man who was the master of casual. As far as she knew, he’d never been involved with anyone seriously. And here she was, her silly heart and body developing all kinds of ideas about him. All because she’d been dumb enough to allow herself a taste of him. She took a deep breath and stroked her hand through Oscar’s sleek fur. Oscar sighed softly and nuzzled closer to her. Oscar was far less complicated than any man. She took a breath and wondered how to respond. She didn’t have it in her to know what to say, so she kept it vague.

  Probably soon. Just busy dealing with a few loose ends from work.

  There was a long enough delay before his reply that she got anxious. She restlessly changed channels, trying to find something to focus her mind. Her phone buzzed again and she snatched it up from where she’d set it on the couch.

  K. Can I give you a call tomorrow?

  Sure. Oscar says good night!

  Chapter 13

  “What?!” Aidan asked. He stood by the kitchen counter with the coffee pot in one hand and his coffee mug in the other. Suddenly, liquid sloshed over the rim. “Shit!” He set the coffee pot down and grabbed a paper towel.

  “Don’t forget to pay attention when you’re pouring,” Ellie offered with a grin.

  “Thanks for the reminder,” he countered with a roll of his eyes. He quickly wiped off the mug and rinsed his hands in the sink.

  “Okay, let’s try this again,” he said, turning to lean against the counter and face Ellie where she sat on a stool by the kitchen island. “You’re saying Becca is taking a month off and going to Alaska?”

  Ellie nodded excitedly. “Isn’t it awesome? She’s taking a road trip with Oscar. It’ll be so great! They can bond on the trip. Once I saw him with her, I knew they’d be perfect together.”

  Ellie was focused on Becca’s relationship with her new dog, while all Aidan could think about was if Becca was three thousand miles away in Alaska, he wouldn’t have much of a chance to see her. The pain of considering that was almost visceral. He’d known from the moment he kissed her and need flooded him, he’d have to be patient. He’d also known there was no guarantee she wanted him the way he wanted her. But he knew what he felt when they were together. It was more than just sex. He shook his head. He had to think clearly.

  “Is it just me, or is this out of the blue?” he asked, his mind spinning with questions about what prompted Becca to take off like this.

  Ellie shrugged. “Maybe so, but I th
ink it’s great. This whole thing at work was like a golden opportunity. The universe was telling her to take a break. She’s like you. All she thinks about is work. I told her she should go for it and take the month off.” Ellie paused for a sip of her coffee. “It’ll be an adventure!”

  Aidan stared at Ellie for a long moment and finally grabbed his coffee mug and took a gulp. She tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. “Are you okay?”

  Fuck. He did not need Ellie nosing around. If anyone could sniff out when something was up with him, it was Ellie.

  “I’m fine. Just distracted. Can’t believe Becca’s taking off like that either.”

  Ellie watched him for another moment and then shook her head slowly. “And I can’t believe you’re not excited for her. Why would you care if she…? Wait a minute. You care. You care a lot. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Fuck. Now he’d have to play dodge ball with Ellie. Once she got on something, it was hard to get her off of it. If she thought it had anything to do with romance, then it was even worse. She’d been on his case to fall in love, as she so enthusiastically put it, ever since he’d retired from active duty as a Navy SEAL. He’d been so successful at burying his feelings for Becca for so long that he was unprepared for how much he cared about her being away. On principle, he completely supported her choice to take a vacation. He was struggling with the discomfort from the idea of her being away for a month. You’ve gone years without seeing her for months at a time. This shouldn’t be a big deal. Yeah, but that was before. Before he’d let himself cross through the boundaries he’d established to keep his desire for her in check. Before he’d been skin to skin with her and discovered every fantasy he’d had didn’t even come close to what it was really like to be intimate with Becca. Before she’d slipped through the cracks in his defenses and threatened to steal his heart.

  He took another gulp of coffee and met Ellie’s gaze, steeling himself. Ellie’s eyes immediately softened. “Oh dear. You like her.” She smiled softly. “Wow. I can’t believe I missed this. How long has this been going on?”

  Aidan closed his eyes and considered what to say. It was pointless to lie because Ellie would know and would be hurt. He wasn’t purposefully hiding this from her, but he sensed Becca wouldn’t want it to be known they’d been together. He took a breath and opened his eyes. “You have to promise not to say a word. To anyone. Including Becca.”

  Ellie nodded quickly. “Of course!”

  “There’s not much to tell. I wouldn’t say Becca and I are together, but it’s safe to say I hope we will be. She’s made it clear she didn’t want a relationship ever since things blew up with her ex-fiancée. I’m hoping she might change her mind. I don’t want to pressure her though. If I seem thrown by this whole taking off to Alaska thing, it’s just because I wanted a chance to see her a few more times in the near future.”

  Ellie slowly smiled. “You’re perfect for each other! Oh my God, this is so awesome!”

  “Ellie, don’t go crazy over this. It might not go anywhere. If you say anything to Becca…”

  She waved a hand dismissively. “I’m not going to say anything, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get excited for you.”

  He chuckled. “Fine. Get excited and leave it alone.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know, if you’re so worried about her taking off, maybe you should take your own vacation. You’ve never taken more than a few days off. Don’t tell me you had vacations when you were a SEAL. Those breaks they gave you between missions didn’t count. It took you weeks to settle down and then you turned around and left again.”

  He shrugged. “So I don’t take much time off. I like to work. Why is that a problem?”

  “Because working all the time doesn’t leave much room for romance.” She smiled ruefully. “Plus, I worry about you. It wouldn’t hurt you to relax sometimes.”

  He sighed. “You don’t need to worry about me, Ellie.”

  “I know you’re big, tough and strong. I know you can take care of yourself, but you haven’t done a very good job of taking care of your heart. You don’t let anyone in. That’s why I’m so excited about Becca. Even if it doesn’t work out, it gives me hope that maybe you’ll fall in love someday.”

  His heart squeezed in his chest. He feared he was hurtling faster than he’d anticipated toward that very feeling with Becca. He’d always known she was the only woman for him, but he’d never known how he’d feel to actually be close to her. He felt stripped bare emotionally—an entirely unfamiliar feeling. Yet, he had no idea how she felt, or if she’d even entertain more than what they’d already had together. He forced his attention to the moment.

  “Maybe so, Ellie. For now, Becca’s off to Alaska and I’ll have to bide my time until she gets back.”

  Ellie arched a brow. “It’s up to you if you want to wait around.”

  At that, she pushed her stool back and stood. “I’ve got an appointment downtown with one of the galleries. I’ll see you tonight.” She headed toward the short hallway that led to the bedrooms, pausing and turning back to him when she reached it. “You might want to stop by Becca’s place today. She said she was leaving tomorrow.”

  ***

  Becca stood in front of her closet and stared inside. Oscar sat by her feet. He alternated with glances up to her as if to check what she was doing and then following her eyes to stare in the closet as well. In the full day she’d had him, he’d so thoroughly become a part of her life, she couldn’t consider not keeping him. Ellie had told her the vet estimated him to be about three years old. He was energetic, but he didn’t have the manic energy of a puppy. She’d taken him for a walk in a nearby park this morning and made sure he had toys to play with in her apartment. Aside from his tail clearing any objects in the path of its wag, he was well-behaved inside. She’d quickly cleared surfaces at tail-height, figuring the last thing she wanted to do was tell him to stop wagging his tail.

  At the moment, he was keeping her company while she tried to pack for her trip. She’d woken this morning to a message from her twin brother. Last year, Garrett had surprised her, along with everyone else, by moving to Diamond Creek, Alaska after falling in love with the chef at their family ski lodge. Garrett’s message was innocuous enough. He was simply calling to check in. They’d always been close. Oddly enough, she felt closer to him now that he moved over two thousand miles away. Perhaps it was because Garrett had finally made a choice that made sense for him. For years, he’d been a corporate lawyer, and not just any corporate lawyer, but one of the best and brightest in Seattle. He rode high on money and prestige. Becca had always felt like he’d lost touch with the heart she knew he had. He’d met Delia up at Last Frontier Lodge, and she’d turned the course of his life.

  Garrett wasn’t the second brother to find love in Alaska. Gage, the oldest of her siblings, had moved to Diamond Creek last year to resurrect their grandparents’ old ski lodge. He’d fallen fast and hard for Marley. He’d also done a smashing job of rejuvenating the ski lodge. After Garrett’s message this morning, Becca had moved beyond considering Ellie’s suggestion she take a vacation and decided to head to Alaska. She’d always wanted to take the ferry through the Inside Passage and figured she’d never have the time. Well, now the time was being forced upon her, so she’d take it. In the back of her mind, she also considered it might be good to get a little space from Aidan. Her emotions were too stirred up, and her body was beyond stirred up.

  She quickly grabbed some shirts off their hangers and tossed them in her suitcase. She’d made reservations on the ferry for tomorrow morning, so she needed to be packed and ready to go by tonight. Oscar followed her back and forth between the bed where her suitcase sat and the closet while she selected clothes for the trip. She figured if she had a week’s worth of clothing, she’d be okay because she could do laundry at the ski lodge. Gage had assured her he’d make sure a room was available for her as long as she was there.

&
nbsp; A while later, she ordered a pizza and joined Oscar on the couch while she waited for it to arrive. She was packed and mostly ready to go. The only problem was she couldn’t stop thinking about Aidan. As little as a week ago, it would never have occurred to her to let him know she was going out of town for a while. Though he was a close family friend, his involvement in her daily life was peripheral and in passing. But now, after two encounters that had almost singed her, she was betwixt and between about what to do with her feelings. The status of their relationship was uncertain to say the least. She’d failed at keeping the boundary of ‘just once,’ but she didn’t know what that meant. Could they somehow go back to what they were? Part of her knew that was impossible, while another part of her prayed she could will it to be so.

  There was a knock at her door. Oscar lifted his head and let out a sharp bark. She stroked his neck quickly. “Stay,” she ordered softly. Ellie had told her she’d been training Oscar with basic commands for sit, stay and come. He’d admirably shown he understood them all every chance she gave him. For now, his alert eyes followed her as she stood and grabbed her purse to pay for the pizza delivery. Oscar remained on the couch, quiet and watchful. When she opened the door, she was looking down to pull her wallet out of her purse.

  “Hang on, just making sure I have enough cash.”

  She glanced up to find Aidan standing there.

  Chapter 14

  Becca’s hair fell around her face as she fumbled in her wallet. When she looked up, her eyes widened. Aidan surmised she was expecting someone other than him to deliver takeout. He rolled his shoulders, willing the tension out of his body. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, thought I’d stop by before you left.”

  Her eyes held his for a long moment. He could see the beat of her pulse start to flutter in her neck. He was caught in the middle of his mixed emotions. He was not upset she was leaving on principle. He completely supported her actually taking a break for once in her life. Yet, he wanted this, whatever this was between them, to have a clearer definition, so he could know if it was okay to say he would miss her. Dammit, he wanted more time. Things between them were too fresh. If she took off now, he sensed it would erase his chances at having an opportunity to have something other than one night and an amazing afternoon encounter with her.