Way to Go

by Tom Ryan

  Lisa turned and looked at him with her mouth hanging open.

  “Are you kidding me? Queers? What is this, the Middle Ages?”

  “Who cares? I don’t like fruits. Or—what?—am I supposed to say ‘homosexuals’?” he asked. “What’s the big deal?”

  “Big deal? Oh, I don’t know, except that some of my best friends are gay. Not to mention Denise.”

  My heart skipped a beat. Denise was gay? I remembered what my mom had said about Denise leaving Deep Cove because of gossip, and not getting along with her parents. Why on earth had she moved back to Deep Cove?

  The four of us got out of the van in an uncomfortable silence and paid for tickets at the front gate. Kierce tried to pay for Lisa, but she shot him the evil eye. “Not a chance, hillbilly.”

  The carnival was pretty crappy: a few rusted-out rides and a row of games with cheap prizes hanging on pegboards behind them. Almost right away, we ran into Maisie and her friend Diana.

  “Oh my god, I’m so excited to see you guys!” Maisie said. She looked right at me and smiled broadly. “I was hoping you’d be here!”

  “Come on,” said Lisa, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me away into the crowd.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, glancing back over my shoulder and shrugging apologetically at Maisie.

  “I need to get away from Kierce for a few minutes, before I hit him or something.”

  She dragged me into the lineup for the Ferris wheel, and a scruffy guy in his early twenties with bloodshot eyes grabbed our tickets and snapped us into a seat. I wondered if it was true what Kierce said about carnies being gay. I discreetly checked the guy out and decided that running away to join the circus probably wasn’t the thing for me. A few minutes later we lifted off. As the ride lurched into the air, its tinny music competed with the unsettling sound of metal grinding against metal. I did my best to ignore it.

  “He’s driving me crazy,” Lisa said, pointing down into the crowd. I looked and saw Maisie cheerfully talking Jay’s ear off as they boarded the Whirl-A-Gig. They were followed closely by Diana and Kierce, who looked miserable.

  “Wow, you sure are in a crappy mood, aren’t you?” I said.

  “I know, I know.” She looked at me and forced a smile to her face. “Things at home totally suck. My mom is coming to stay with me at Cheryl’s house.”

  “No way!” I said.

  “Yeah, well, what can you do? Anyway, every time she calls, she talks about how excited she is to come spend the rest of the summer with me, and if I’m not totally enthusiastic about it, she pulls a major guilt trip. Now, to top it all off, Kierce is turning out to be such an asshole.”

  “He’s not really, he just says stupid crap.” I didn’t know why I was defending him. I hated the stuff he said as much as she did.

  “It’s not even that,” she said. “I’m just finding him really annoying. He wants to spend every free minute with me. It’s getting old fast.”

  “Why don’t you end it then?” I asked her.

  “Too much effort. Besides, he’s not totally useless, if you catch my drift.”

  “Okay, great, too much information,” I said. It wasn’t fair for her to string him along like that, but I figured that part of it had to be his own fault. Besides, I couldn’t help feeling a bit of mean-spirited satisfaction that things weren’t working out for him the way he wanted them to. Maybe it would be good for Kierce to realize that the world didn’t always play by his rules.

  When we met up with the group again, he immediately apologized to Lisa.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know why I had to shoot my mouth off like that.”

  “He really is sorry,” said Maisie. “He talked about it the whole time we were on the ride.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” said Lisa, not bothering to look him in the eye. She still sounded pissed off, but by the time we’d all grabbed something to eat from the concession stand and found an empty picnic table, she had returned to her old self. When she told us a funny story about getting stuck in a changing room at Macy’s department store, Kierce laughed harder than the rest of us put together.

  Eventually, we decided to call it a night. “So I’ll see you at work tomorrow, right?” Maisie asked me as I got into Kierce’s van.

  “You got it,” I replied.

  “Awesome!” she said. “I’ll see you there. Bye, guys!” She hurried away to her own car, Diana close behind.

  As soon as we were on the road, Jay reached over and poked me in the arm, repeatedly. “Oooooh, Danny Boy, looks like you might finish up this summer with a bang after all.”

  “Quit it!” I swatted him away. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Oh, come on, Danno,” said Kierce, rolling his eyes at me in the rearview mirror. “She’s obviously into you.” Lisa and Jay both nodded.

  “Who, Maisie? I didn’t notice anything. You guys are crazy.”

  “Oh my god, I’m soooooo super happy you came to the carnival, Dannypoo!” said Lisa.

  “If you think she’s so stupid,” I asked her, “why are you pushing this?”

  “I’m not suggesting that I sleep with her, I’m suggesting that you sleep with her. What I think of her is beside the point, and you’ve told me you like her just fine.”

  “I do like her,” I said. “She’s really nice and easygoing.”

  “She’s also hot, Dan,” said Kierce. “So what are you waiting for? Remember the Golden Rule, my man.”

  I looked at Jay, who said, “It’s up to you, man, but I’d say that she definitely likes you. She kept talking about you. She says you’re ‘super-duper nice.’ ”

  “I’m not sure I like her that way,” I managed to squeeze out.

  “I understand if you don’t want to date her,” said Lisa. “She’s as dumb as a brick. But you could definitely get into her pants if you wanted to.”

  “Wow, that’s classy.”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Danny, why do you have to be such a romantic?” she said. “Think with your dick for a change!”

  “You sound like Kierce,” I told her.

  “Rule Thirty-two million: Boobs and sex and girls and panties and sex. When in doubt, listen to the brain in your pants. Go team,” she said, in a surprisingly good imitation of Kierce.

  “You got that right!” he said, reaching over to grab her hand. She snatched it away.

  “Don’t get any ideas. I’m still pissed off at you, homophobe.” She turned back to me. “Danny! Everything doesn’t have to be some big huge thing. You’re seventeen. Nobody expects you to get married and have a baby. You should be trying to get laid, and if Strawberry Shortcake there is the best option, then you should take advantage of it.”

  “Yeah, we’ll see,” was all I said. I was glad when they finally dropped me off at home. I’d had enough of all three of them.

  SIXTEEN

  “Um, I was wondering,” said Maisie, “if I could maybe hang out with you guys sometime after work.”

  We were finishing our shift a couple of nights after the carnival, and Lisa and I were getting ready to leave.

  “Yeah, for sure,” Lisa said. “If you don’t mind driving around with a bunch of fools. What are you doing now?”

  “Really? Nothing! I don’t have any plans! Let me just grab my purse!”

  Maisie bounced away happily.

  “What was that all about?” I asked.

  Lisa raised her eyebrows at me. “She wants ya, tiger,” she said. “Who am I to stand in the way of true love?”

  We’d made plans to meet the guys on Main Street. We eventually spotted them huddled with a group of people in the small park in the middle of town. Lisa pulled up by the sidewalk and pressed on the horn.

  In a few seconds, Jay and Kierce came running across the park and up to the car. They did a double take when they saw Maisie, who waved cheerfully and scooched into the middle of the backseat to give them both room. Kierce immediately reached around the seat and poked
me in the arm. I turned and gave him a dirty look, but he just grinned at me.

  Before their doors were even closed, Lisa burned rubber. Old Bessie shuddered, and something behind the dash began to clink as Lisa pushed the car to the brink of its power. An awful-smelling smoke wafted from the vents.

  “If this car blows up, it’s been nice knowing you guys,” Lisa said. “But we don’t have time to worry about that. We’re on a mission.” The car chugged along toward the outskirts of town, and she threw her bag onto my lap. “There’s a tape in there with a baby-blue label. It has Bitches Don’t Quit written on it in pink ink.” She turned to the backseat. “That’s my girl Naomi’s motto.”

  “I love it!” squealed Maisie.

  I flipped quickly through a pile of tapes and came up with the one she wanted.

  “Side B, please. Rewind to beginning. Press Play. Thank you, co-pilot, that will be all.”

  “Hey!” whined Kierce. “I should get to be the co-pilot. You’re my little woman, after all.”

  “I really wish you’d stop talking about me like that,” said Lisa. She didn’t sound like she was joking. She seemed to have less patience with Kierce each time I saw them together.

  The tape crackled on, and Lisa cranked the volume. “Highway to Hell” reverberated through the car as she pressed on the gas and we accelerated into the night.

  “Where are you taking us?” asked Jay.

  “Patience, soldiers.”

  “You guys are awesome!” Maisie exclaimed.

  Lisa chugged along the empty two-lane highway for a few miles and then, without warning, cut the wheel and spun onto an almost hidden gravel road. Without slowing down, she barreled over the potholes and ruts in the overgrown road. Tree branches popped in and out of the open windows, scratching at our hair, but she kept gunning along before finally coming to an abrupt stop in front of an abandoned farmhouse.

  “Wow,” said Kierce, “I should have worn a diaper.”

  “Where are we?” I asked, but Lisa didn’t answer. She just grabbed her bag and got out of the car. Reluctantly we followed her into the darkness.

  “Are you going to kill us dead, Lisa?” Kierce asked.

  “Wait a minute,” Jay said. “I know this place. My uncle took me here a few times when I was a kid. There’s a little lake behind that house. We used to come here to go swimming.”

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!” said Lisa. “Come on, it shouldn’t be far.” She took off behind the house, Jay and Maisie close behind her. Kierce and I exchanged wary glances, and then followed them.

  “Man,” Kierce whispered to me, “this is totally your chance. Don’t blow it!”

  I ignored him.

  Just as Jay had said, there was a small calm lake surrounded by trees and reflecting the bright night sky. Lisa followed a path through the weeds, and then sat on the edge of the bank and began removing her shoes.

  “How did you find out about this place?” I asked.

  “Denise told me about it. When I mentioned that I wanted to go swimming in a lake for a change, she said that when she was in high school, she and her friends would come here and get drunk and go skinny dipping.”

  “Hello!” said Kierce.

  “Not so fast, big guy, I’m gonna keep my underwear on, and if you don’t want me to leave you here, you should keep yours on too. So who’s coming in?”

  “I am!” To my surprise, Maisie couldn’t get her jeans and T-shirt off fast enough. She ran to the edge of the bank and did a cannonball into the water.

  “It’s beautiful!” she yelled.

  Lisa and the guys stripped to their underwear and followed Maisie in.

  “Drop your pants, Disco Dan!” yelled Kierce.

  “I’m good,” I said. “I’m just going to stay here.”

  “If you don’t get in, I’m going to jump up on that bank and push you in, clothes and all.”

  “Fine, fine.” I slowly stripped down to my boxers and sat on the bank, letting my feet slip into the water first. It was surprisingly warm compared to the ocean, and I was about to slide the rest of the way in when Jay jumped out and yanked me by the legs into the water. I rose, choking and splashing, to the sight of the four of them laughing at me.

  It was a beautiful night, and we floated around, occasionally splashing each other, but mostly just lying on our backs and looking up at the stars and talking.

  Maisie turned out to be more interesting—and smarter—than any of us had given her credit for. Apparently, she wanted to change the world. She told us that it was her dream to go to medical school and work in Africa, treating kids with AIDS.

  “We don’t know how bad some people have it,” she said. “Imagine growing up without a mom, in that kind of poverty, knowing that you were going to die.”

  “It would suck,” said Kierce.

  “Yes, Kierce, it would probably suck,” said Lisa sarcastically.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “You guys are getting awful heavy,” said Jay.

  “My fault, sorry!” Maisie said. “I have an idea!” She swam over to the edge of the lake and climbed out of the water. She shook out her hair, and water streamed over the goose bumps that popped up on her legs. Her wet bra was practically transparent, and I knew that the other guys were getting an eyeful. I turned away, and Kierce caught my eye, shaking his head at me, disappointed.

  “Let’s play truth or dare!” Maisie hollered.

  Kierce and Jay groaned along with me, but Lisa yelled, “Come on guys, it’ll be fun! I’ll go first. Truth!”

  “Awesome!” Maisie said. She thought for a moment and then said, “What’s the most embarrassing thing about your family?”

  I cringed, but Lisa didn’t seem fazed. She swam over and climbed up to join Maisie on the bank.

  “Embarrassing? That’s an easy one! How’s this? My mom is a nutbar. Nervous breakdowns, suicide attempts, the whole bullshit thing. My dad couldn’t handle her so he took off, and I came here for the summer to—I don’t know—get some space from it all.”

  I couldn’t look at her. The whole thing was really awkward, and I wondered what she was trying to prove. Maisie stood next to Lisa, looking uncomfortable. Nobody knew what to say, and then Lisa finally broke the silence.

  “But guess what?” she said. “She followed me here, and now she sits in my aunt’s house all day, with the curtains closed, smoking cigarettes and staring at the wall.”

  I glanced at Kierce. I could tell from his confused expression that Lisa hadn’t bothered to tell him about her mom.

  “Don’t worry, kids,” Lisa said. “We’ve all got problems, so whatcha gonna do?” With that, she took a flying leap and cannonballed into the lake, right in the middle of where the rest of us were treading water.

  “Your turn, Dan!” Jay yelled. I could tell he was trying to change the subject. “Truth or dare?”

  Everyone turned to look at me, and my heart started pounding. I plugged my nose and let myself slowly sink underwater. After a few seconds I surfaced and took a breath. “Dare, I guess.”

  “I got one!” yelled Kierce. “I dare you to swim over to Maisie and make out with her in front of us.”

  “Yes!” yelled Lisa.

  I wanted to sink back under and not come up. “Come on, Kierce,” I said, “don’t be a moron.” I didn’t dare look in Maisie’s direction.

  “What do you mean? It’s truth or dare. Do you want me to dare you to say a bad word? Don’t be such a chicken-shit. You don’t mind, do you, Maisie?”

  She didn’t say anything. I glanced up to where she was still standing on the bank, and saw that she’d crossed her arms over her chest and was looking at the ground, obviously embarrassed.

  “You’re such an asshole, Kierce,” I said, awkwardly paddling to the edge of the lake. I crawled out, grabbed my clothes and walked back up the pathway toward the car.

  “Come on, Danny, act your age, for Christ’s sake,” he yelled after me.

  �
�Speak for yourself, dick!” I hollered back.

  I pulled on my shorts and then sat down on the front step of the old house. After a few minutes, Maisie came up the path and sat down next to me. I was glad that she’d put her T-shirt back on.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, sorry about that.”

  “Hey, don’t apologize. That was super awkward! At least you didn’t have to stand there in front of everyone in your wet underwear!”

  We both laughed.

  “I don’t know why he has to be such an asshole all the time,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, maybe he thought he was doing you a favor,” she said.

  I stayed quiet. I wasn’t sure I liked where this was going.

  “I was thinking,” she said, after a pause, “maybe sometime you and I could, I don’t know, hang out, after work or something…”

  “Sure,” I said. “You should start hanging out with us more.”

  “I kind of meant just the two of us, like a date”—she laughed nervously—“or as much of one as you can have in Deep Cove.”

  “Maisie,” I said, feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet, “I really like you, but—”

  Before I could finish, she jumped up and said, “That’s okay. It was kind of a stupid idea…I just thought…you know…you never know.”

  “Hey!” I said, reaching up and grabbing her by the hand to pull her back down next to me. “Seriously, I think you’re awesome. I just really don’t think I want a girlfriend right now.”

  She looked me in the eye. “You like Lisa, don’t you?”

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “It’s okay, I won’t say anything to Kierce. I totally understand. Anyway, it’s no big deal. At least it’ll be nice to not feel awkward around you at work anymore.”

  “You were feeling awkward?”

  “Totally! For like, weeks now! I can’t believe you didn’t notice. I talk a lot when I’m nervous.”

  “I’m kind of dense like that.”

  She stood up again. “Seriously, no big deal, let’s pretend I didn’t say anything.” She turned and looked back down the path. “Let’s go see if those guys are ready to go home.”