by Amy DeMeritt
“She wanted to know if I’d be staying at home for Christmas vacation and I told her I’m staying with you. She got mad and told me if I don’t spend vacation with them, then she’s boxing up all of my stuff and I’ll need to have it moved out before I came back to school or she’s donating it to the Cancer Society. I know she’s not really kicking me out because I’ve already moved in with you and Shannon, but it just hurts that she threatened to give all of my stuff away like that. Just when I think we’re doing good, she reverts back to her threats and hatred again.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get everything moved out, even if she doesn’t box it up on her own. Actually,” I laugh a little and run my fingers through my hair, “I think I should offer to help her.” Madison gives me a small confused smile. “Why would you offer to help her?”
“Well, we’ll have to do it at some point anyway since we’re all going to be living together. But offering to do it on her timeline will reinforce the fact that her threats have no power in the decisions we make. She’ll be begging me to keep your stuff there a little longer.” Madison grins and shakes her head. “I’d like to see that.” I laugh and pull back. “Call her.”
Madison smiles and pulls her phone out. She takes a deep breath, presses the call button, and hands me her phone with it on speaker. I smile and pull her over to sit down at the table. I smile really big when I see Awenasa is still with us and she’s leaning forward with her head propped on her hand with an affectionate smile. Madison waves to her, but they remain quiet.
“Did you change your mind?” I smile and try not to laugh. “Hey, Mrs. Carter, its Kayla.” I hear her exhale deeply. “Hello, Kayla. Why are you calling me from my daughter’s phone?”
“Do you have my number?”
“No, why would I?”
“Well, that’s why I called from Maddi’s phone. I figured if I called from mine, you wouldn’t recognize the number and you wouldn’t answer. But really, you should have my number.”
“Why should I have your number?”
“Don’t you want my number? I really am a great conversationalist. You should call me sometimes, or text me, whatever you prefer. But I have been told that I have a great phone voice, so calling is recommended.” She actually releases a small laugh and all of my girls are trying not to laugh. “Kayla, why are you calling?”
“Maddi told me that you want her stuff moved out, so I’m calling to see when I can come help you. I know packing is a lot of hard work and I don’t want you to have to do all of that by yourself.” She’s quiet for a minute. “Uh, did I lose you?”
“No, I’m still here. What are you trying to do?”
“Well, I could ask you the same thing because I know you don’t really want to waste your time during the holidays packing stuff up. Truthfully, offering to you help you box up her stuff is a major win for me, so I’m more than happy to.”
“Why is it a ‘major win’ for you?”
“For one, I get to spend more time with you. Which, I know you are dying to experience just as much as I am.” She laughs and Madison places a hand over her mouth to stifle her own laugh. “Plus, it will give me a chance to sit and hear about Maddi from your point of view. I’m actually looking forward to all the memories that will start flowing as you pick up each item to carefully place in a box.”
“Why are you taking my baby girl from me and from her home?”
“I’m not taking your baby girl. The baby girl is in your heart and always will be. Maddi is a woman now and as a woman, she has to build her own home. I’m just helping her transition from her childhood home into the home her heart has chosen.”
“I’m not ready for her to be an adult.” I laugh a little and shake my head. “That’s because you’re a mother. Trust me, I’m going to be the same when I have to watch all of my babies grow up and leave home. I haven’t even had any yet and my heart is already aching with the thought of my children leaving home one day.”
“You want children?”
“Yes. I love children and I want lots of them. I hope you want grandchildren because you’re going to have a lap full of babies one day.” She laughs a little and Madison smiles at me affectionately. “Yes, I want grandbabies.”
“See, you’re ready for Maddi to be an adult.”
“How do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“You make it so hard for me to be mad about this relationship.”
“Well, that’s because you love me. Try to deny it; I bet you can’t.” She laughs hard and Madison leans forward to kiss me moment. “I can’t believe I’m saying this. Yes, Kayla, I love you. I really do like you and I know you’re good for my daughter.”
“Thank you for that wonderful early Christmas present. A place in your heart is more valuable than a gift from the magi.” She laughs a little. “Ok, I’ll make you a deal. You promise to spend more time here while you’re home for vacation, and we won’t rush through the packing. We’ll start on a couple boxes as my acknowledgement of my daughter’s transition to adulthood and I’ll share with you some of my memories of my baby girl.”
“Deal. But I have a request as well.”
“You usually do.”
“I’d like all of you to come have dinner with my family one night while we’re home.”
“Oh, Kayla, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. After what I did to you, I don’t…”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You never did anything to me.”
“Kayla, I know you’ve been able to forgive and forget, but that doesn’t mean your parents have.”
“What are you afraid of happening?”
“Well, if someone had done that to my daughter, I’d probably have to kill them.” I laugh and look up at Madison, who is still smiling at me affectionately. “I guarantee you my personal protection and that no one will lay a hand on you. We’re family and family doesn’t lay hands on each other, unless it’s for healing purposes.”
“Ok, we’ll come over for dinner.”
“Good, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. So, how’s the weather out there?” I laugh really hard and hear her laugh as well. Last time we were home, I teased her about asking Madison about the weather to get her to lighten up and apologize after she turned into a banshee on me and said all of those horrible things to Madison and I. “Is that your hint that you’re bored with talking to me now?” She laughs a little. “No, I’m not bored with you, but I do need to go. I have some errands to run before all of you get in town tomorrow.”
“Ok, we’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the chat.”
“You too. Tell Madison I’m sorry and I love her.”
“I will. What about me?” She laughs a little. “I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I smile and hang up the phone. I look up and hold the phone out to Madison, but she leaps at me, throwing her arms around me and making me fall backwards out of the chair and onto the floor. I groan and wince as the impact and pressure causes a sharp pain in my still healing broken rib. Madison starts to lift off of me, but I wrap my arms around her and she presses her lips to mine, pulling me into an intense kiss.
“Are they ok?”
“Yeah. Madison has her locked in a kiss at the moment.”
“Should I go?” Madison suddenly pulls back and calls up to Awenasa, “No, sorry. Don’t go.” Madison quickly pulls me up and we sit back down in front of the computer. Madison looks at Awenasa and blushes. “Sorry.” Awenasa laughs a little. “You girls are cute with the apologizing. You are very different from Sam. If she was there, she’d be hanging all over Kayla and trying to make out with her just to try to get under my skin. She got so mad this past summer when she couldn’t get to me.” Madison and Shannon laugh and Madison says, “Yeah, that sounds like Sam.”
Awenasa looks at me with a very proud affectionate smile.
“You have a gift for diplomacy that is rare and hard to find. You could do great things on the
tribal council, my love.” I smile and run my fingers through my hair. “Who knows, maybe our big family will find our way back to the reservation one day.” I look around and they’re all smiling and Shannon says, “Anything is possible. Are you still going to stick with biology next semester?”
“Yeah, I want to dance more, but I need to have a backup career option to help support my family. If I get a dance job, great, if not, then I’d still have income from whatever I do with biology.”
“I understand that, but maybe you are in the wrong backup career field. I know you like science, but Awenasa is right; you have a real skill at diplomacy and helping people work out their issues. Maybe you should be a counselor and major in psychology like Madison.” I look at Madison and she smiles and leans forward to kiss my lips. “I agree. I think you’d be great at that.”
“I could try, but I think after one internet search of my name, clients wouldn’t want to come to me after they find the dance videos and learn about my giant lesbian family.” They laugh, but Awenasa, says, “That may also make some people more willing to approach you with their problems because it shows you are human and don’t conform to the norm. People are more likely to talk to friends and family about their issues than they are to talk to a professional that could actually help them, because they don’t feel like the professional will be able to relate to them. The professional seems too perfect and that scares people.”
“That’s very true.” I look at Madison again and glance at Shannon for a moment and then shrug my shoulders. “Ok, I’ll think it over while we’re home for the holidays. If I give up biology though, I won’t be able to help the world be less stinky. That means I’m going to have to snuggle on all of you more to suck up your amazing scents to avoid the stinky world.” They laugh again and Awenasa’s smile couldn’t be more amazing. “I’ve always loved being your air freshener, puppy.”
I smile really big and my cheeks blush hot. Madison and Shannon releases a small giggle and Madison ruffles my hair like my family does to me.
“Puppy? That’s cute. Sam asked what you call her and Kayla got goofy and shy about it and wouldn’t tell us.”
Awenasa laughs a little and holds my eyes with so much affection that I wish I could just reach through the computer and finally have my first kiss with her.
“Can I ask if there is a significance to that?” I blush again and Awenasa laughs. “Have you taught them about animal totems yet?”
I shake my head and look down shamefully for a moment. Awenasa smiles and shakes her head in amusement before she looks to Madison and Shannon to explain.
“In Native American culture, we believe that all life has a spirit and all things have an energy, including non-living, like rocks. All spirits and energies can influence and guide us when needed. Often, it happens without us even realizing its happening. Each animal represents different qualities, virtues, and personality behaviors. Animal totems are spirit guides that fit us and help us to grow and learn to be the person we were born to be or need to be at a particular part of our lives. Some people may have one animal totem their whole life, while others may change several times, or gain a couple.”
“That’s really interesting. What is your totem?” I smile and run my fingers through my hair before looking at Madison. “The wolf.” Her eyes get big and she smiles. “Wow, so that wolf dance we did had even deeper meaning than you just protecting us from the bad wolves in the world?”
“Yeah, it also symbolizes me shedding the misconceptions and misunderstandings that people have of me, as is common with the wolf.”
“The wolf is a very misunderstood creature.” We look back at Awenasa, and my girls hang on to her every word. “The wolf can be fierce, but it is usually a gentle and patient creature and can be very playful most of the time. The wolf is extraordinarily loyal and protective and has very strong family values. A wolf is wise and has strong intellect and instinctually just knows what to do in a difficult situation.”
“Wow, that actually describes you perfectly.” Madison looks back at Awenasa, and asks, “What is your totem?”
“She is the hawk.” Awenasa smiles and doesn’t say anything, so I explain the traits of the hawk. “The hawk is the messenger of the spirit world and brings focus, enlightenment, and clear vision. The hawk can help you foresee what has yet to happen. The hawk helps to keep you closely tied to the spirit world so you may better understand things.”
“So, the hawk on your necklace is a symbol for Awenasa?” I smile and blush a little. “Yes, we exchange our totems as a way to stay close to each other when we’re apart.” Madison smiles and looks to Awenasa. “That’s cool. I love this other side of Kayla we’re learning about. The hawk does fit you. You definitely have brought a lot of enlightenment since we finally learned about you.” Awenasa smiles and nods once. “Thank you.”
Shannon reaches over and rubs my knee for a moment before she stands up.
“I’m going to start on dinner, sweetie. Awenasa, it was really nice seeing and talking to you again.”
“It was good to see you again too. I’m really happy that everything turned out so well with your review.”
“Wait, what happened with your review?” Madison grabs her hand and stands up. Shannon smiles and waves to Awenasa. “Thank you. Talk to you again soon.”
Shannon pulls Madison off to the kitchen so Shannon can fill her in on what happened at work today. I watch them and smile really big when Madison jumps into her arms and squeezes her close. I look back at Awenasa and she’s smiling really big at me.
“Hey, puppy.” I laugh a little and lean in closer to the screen. “Hey, love. This was really nice talking to you like this for so long.”
“It was wonderful. We should do this more often.”
“Definitely. Can we do this when we open our Christmas presents from each other? I want to see your face when you open your gifts.” She smiles and nods. “I would love that.”
“Ok, thanks. I guess I better go so I can help with dinner. Our flight leaves really early tomorrow, so I’ll just let you know when we land so I don’t wake you up too early.”
“Ok, my love. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a safe flight.”
“Thanks. I love you, beautiful.” She smiles and blushes a little. “I love you too, puppy.”
Chapter Twenty
To show that we’re going to spend more time with Madison’s family while we’re in town, we decided to have them pick us up from the airport instead of my parents picking us up. My dad will come pick us up from Madison’s later in the day. When we come down the escalator to baggage claim to meet them, I spot Mr. and Mrs. Carter standing against a wall looking very nervous. We walk over to them and when we’re within a foot of them, I release Madison’s and Shannon’s hands and throw my arms around Mrs. Carter. She releases a small surprised sound and a giggle, but she returns my embrace and squeezes me for a moment. I pull back just enough that I can look at her face and smile. She’s smiling and looks genuinely happy to see me.
“You look nice. Did you cut your hair?” She laughs and blushes as she runs her fingers through her hair. “Yes, I did. Thank you for noticing.”
“Thank you for picking us up.” She smiles and gently kisses my forehead. “You’re welcome. Now, can I hug my little girl?” I laugh and release her. “Oh, right. Sure.”
She laughs a little and shakes her head in amusement as I step aside so Madison can hug her mom. I look up at Mr. Carter and he gives me a smile and holds his hand out to shake.
“It’s good to see you again.”
“You too.”
After Madison hugs her parents and Shannon gives Mrs. Carter a hug, we follow them out to the parking garage to start driving home. Mr. Carter loads our bookbags in the trunk and then we slide in close together on the backseat of his sedan with Madison in the middle.
As we’re getting back on the highway to leave the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania airport and drive to Elkton, Maryland, it starts to snow,
heavily. I gasp and grip Madison’s knee.
“Wow, those are big snowflakes. I hope it’s still snowing when we get home.”
“You taking another plane already?” I look up at Mrs. Carter and she’s smiling in a playful way. I laugh and shake my head. “Where there is family, there is home. We’re like the rich and famous with homes dotting the United States landscape because we have so much family.”
“I like that. Are you hungry?” I smile and nod. “I’m getting there. Shannon made us a nice breakfast before we left, but flying is hard work. All that wing flapping used up all that fuel she fed me.” They laugh and Madison bumps me playfully. “You’re silly. I’ll fix you something when we get home.” I smile and Mrs. Carter smiles back at me. “Thank you.”
The ride is mostly quiet, but it’s not uncomfortable. Mrs. Carter turns the radio on and sometimes Madison just softly sings along, or we occasionally share some idle chit chat about finals, Mr. Carter’s work, and Mrs. Carter shares some stories from her adventures in the stores while doing her Christmas shopping.
When we pull into the driveway of their house, the snow is still coming down pretty hard and there’s a couple inches of snow covering the ground and lining the trees with a beautiful pure white outline. I hop out of the car and twirl with my arms extended and my head titled back to allow the snow to fall on my face.
When I stand upright, everyone is looking at me with amusement. I smile and pull Madison into myself and twirl around and dance with her in the snow. She laughs and smiles with so much happiness that it makes me laugh with excitement. After twirling around with her for a minute, I switch with Shannon and dance with her, before I surprise Mrs. Carter and pull her in to dance with me. She laughs and blushes bright red. I twirl her a couple times and she allows me to dance around in the snow with her for a minute. When I stop, she grabs the sides of my face and kisses my forehead.
“You make me feel young again.” I smile and laugh a little. “You say that as if you’re an old lady.” She laughs and starts to pull back. “I’m more than double your age, so compared to you, I am an old lady.”
