I thought about Jennifer’s ex all night. The only time I met him—which was one time too many if you want to know the truth—was when he pulled that stunt in the restaurant, back when she was still married to him. He was an impossible jerk back then and I’m sure he’s the same now. People like that don’t change, do they? How some men treat women is beyond me.
I promised her then I’d never let him hurt her and the same is true today. I will not let that man destroy what she and I have built together.
The longer I stand underneath the hot water and think about Brian, the angrier I get. I want to punch the glass shower door but what good will that do? I shut off the water and just as I reach for a towel, I hear her phone ringing from in our bedroom. Quickly, I wrap the towel around my waist and rush out, hoping I can get to it before it wakes her. Just as I reach the dresser, though, the phone cuts off. I glance at the clock and wonder who’d be calling this time of the morning? The girls, maybe?
I look down at the missed call and don’t recognize the number. It’s not one that’s already programmed into her phone, and, well, being that it’s not even eight o’clock yet, it concerns me. I grab a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt from my dresser drawer and just as I turn the corner to go back into the bathroom, my phone starts to ring next. I snatch it up off the nightstand and rush to the bathroom, quickly shutting shut the door behind me.
I recognize it as the same number that called her phone. I wonder if maybe something has happened to her parents, thus, explaining the unfamiliar numbers. I answer before it rings again.
“Hello?”
Silence.
“Hello?” I say again into the phone.
I hear whoever’s on the other end clear their throat. Please don’t let this be something wrong with her family. Not now. She can’t have any more on her plate.
“Is anyone there?”
“Umm. Is this Todd?”
“It is. Who is this?” I’m confused because the male voice sounds like one I’ve heard before, yet I can’t place it.
“May I please speak with Jennifer?”
What the hell?
First the early phone calls, now someone wants to speak to my wife on my phone.
All of a sudden I snap. Something inside me knows this phone call spells trouble.
“Son of a bitch! It’s you, Brian, isn’t it?” I find myself spewing the words at him.
“Todd, look man. I’m not trying to cause any trouble here.”
I don’t give him a chance to finish speaking. “Trouble my ass. Your calling is trouble enough. You have no business calling my phone or Jennifer’s. My family is off limits to you.”
“Please, just hear me out,” he begs. I sense an uneasy tone in his voice.
First, his email and now this.
“I told you, Brian. You have no reason to contact my family. None at all,” I continue to belt into the phone. I want him to know I want this madness to end right now.
“The email,” he manages to say in between my threats. “Just tell me if she got my email.”
“Grr. Your damn email ripped her to pieces, man! How could you disrupt my family?” I blurt.
“I never meant to. It’s just…my dad…” Brian’s voice trails off and it’s obvious he’s upset. He’s not retaliating like he used to, back when he was constantly harassing Jennifer.
“Do you know how long it took for Jennifer to put you behind her? Do you know the agonizing pain you caused my wife? And now you want to contact her after all these years because of something that’s happening to your family. What about my family, Brian? Tell me, damn it. What about mine?”
If I didn’t know any better, I swear the guy is…crying? Surely it’s my imagination. There’s no way Brian could be upset. We’re talking about a man who has no emotions; a man who has no compassion for anyone else and thinks only about himself.
“Look, I told you. I don’t have time for your bullshit.” I say into the phone just as I’m about to hang up. I detect muffled sounds in the background and find myself pressing the phone up closer to my ear. It sounds as though the phone’s been dropped or sat down somewhere. It’s confusing. I hear another voice and I strain to make out what the other person is saying.
“…sorry…tried everything…do. …better place…”
Suddenly, I have to pull the phone back from my ear.
“No!!! No this can’t be happening.” I hear Brian’s voice. “He can’t die on me yet. He hasn’t met my daughter. No!!!!
There is some shuffling around in the background and the phone clicks off.
I stare at the screen not believing the words I just heard.
Chapter 11
Jennifer
July 4th
“Todd,” I call out, but he’s not here. “Todd!” I cry even louder this time. My head feels all fuzzy while my mouth feels like it’s full of cotton.
I stumble from the bed and walk towards the bathroom. My balance is so awkward and clumsy, I feel as though I’ve been drugged. I remember taking something last night to help me sleep, but I’ve never felt this way before. It’s as though the life has been sucked out of me—that something is missing. Something has been taken away and there’s a hollow feeling in my heart. But what? What is causing this sensation?
The door is closed so I assume he’s inside taking a shower yet I don’t hear any water running.
“Babe, are you in there?” I place my ear against the door and knock softly. The coolness feels good against my cheek.
I hear movement from inside and know he’s in there even though he doesn’t say anything. I place my hand on the doorknob and give it a slight twist. The door opens with ease. Nothing could prepare me for what I see inside, though.
“Todd?”
Todd jerks his head around to look at me. He’s sitting down inside the tub with his clothes on. His eyes are bloodshot, almost like he’s hung over after a long night of binge drinking, and he looks like pure hell.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” I make my way over to him, forgetting about my own wooziness. It’s obvious my husband needs me; something tragic has happened and I’ve been asleep. “Is it the girls? What’s wrong? Tell me, damn it!”
Todd just blankly stares at me. He’s unable to speak and it confuses me more.
I watch as another tear slides over his cheek.
I lean over into the tub and place both hands on his shoulders. I don’t want to shake him but I need to know what the hell is going on.
He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Finally, he tries to say something. “I…”
“I, what? Todd. You’re scaring me,” I plead with him.
“I’m sorry, Jennifer.” He manages to say before he brings his knees up to his chest. He looks pitiful.
I’m confused and torn. Has he done something he’s ashamed of?
“God, baby. I need you to talk to me.” Fear courses through my body.
“Can you…can you help me out of here?” Todd asks and I waste no time assisting him out of the tub. Thank goodness there wasn’t any water. Using each other for support, we make our way to the bedroom where we collapse on the edge of the bed.
“Please, are you going to tell me what is going on with you?”
Using the bed sheet, Todd wipes his face. “I…I don’t know where to start.” His words are barely above a whisper.
“How about the beginning. This is so unlike you.” I do my best to coax him into opening up even though I’m scared to death what he’s about to say.
He turns to look at me and reaches up to caress the side of my cheek. “We need to make a decision.”
“Huh? About what?”
“About the email.” Those three little words strike a nerve and I immediately bring my guard up. Just like last night, I turn defensive all over again.
“I thought we were clear about where we stood with that email, Todd. Why are you suddenly changing your mind? Has something happened? Did you contact him behind my back?”
“Look at me,” I demand. “Has that conniving bastard been in touch with you, too?” I reach over and place both hands on his shoulders. I want to shake him some sense into him.
Todd finally nods his head. Last night it was me losing control, now it’s my husband. Please don’t let my family be falling apart.
“Surely you’re not falling for some line of bull-crap from him. You, of all people, know firsthand what that ass hole put me through. Had it not been for you I don’t know what I would have done or where I would’ve ended up. He’s nothing but trouble and you know it.”
“Jennifer, listen to me.” The tone of his voice is serious.
“No, you listen to me.” I glare at him as the words leave my mouth. “Brian is no good. He’s trouble. I will not have him destroy our family just because he’s made up some sob story about his dying father, someone he had no relationship with anyway. I don’t believe a word he says and I will not put Chloe through this. He’s not worthy of forgiving even if there was any truth to what that email had to say.”
Todd holds his hand up in the air to stop me from going on any further. I can’t believe my husband—he’s falling into Brian’s trap. Just like I did.
“Jenn, stop it. Right now.”
“No. I can’t have you taking his side. You can’t believe anything he tells you, Todd. You know this about him.” I jump up from the bed and rush towards the closet. I pull on a pair of jeans that lay crumpled on the floor. I turn to look for a shirt when Todd grabs me by both shoulders.
“What are you doing? You’re not going anywhere,” he tells me.
“You can’t stop me. I’m going to get the girls.”
“Jennifer, you can’t do that. Brian’s father passed away this morning.”
I stop and turn to look at Todd. Time stands still for a moment as I hear his words played back slowly in my head.
“What?” I ask.
“While you were sleeping this morning, Brian called both our phones trying to get in touch with you.”
“He’s lying to you.”
“No, baby. He’s not lying to me. In the middle of our conversation, someone walked into the room and told him. He dropped the phone or something, but I heard the conversation. It’s true, honey. His father is…dead.”
“Oh my God.” I bring my hands up to cover my face. It’s just been a few days since the email. I’m in complete shock.
“I’m just like you. I didn’t want to believe it either but I was on the phone with him when it happened. I’m not sure what we’re going to do, if anything, but we are in this together. Do you understand me? We will do what is best for us, for our family.”
Todd and I console each other from the floor in our bedroom closet; neither of us speak for a while. We are both in pain and shock.
“I’m going to make a call to our lawyer and have him recommend someone to us. We need to seek some legal advice before we proceed further. We need to know our rights.”
I nod my head knowing he’s right. I can’t help but feel so…so bad right now. One minute I was torn and angry. Now, I’m confused.
In one aspect I’m deeply sorry for Brian and his family. If what he claims in his email is really the truth and he has changed his life, then I am honestly sorry. I never met either of his parents the few months we were together. Brian had wanted to introduce me to them, to show them he’d found someone he was proud of, someone who had given him a second chance. But we know how that had turned out.
Just because I feel sorry for him, though, doesn’t mean I’m forgiving him. Nor does it mean I’ll give in. Chloe is mine.
Chapter 12
Brian
July 5th
My brothers and I met with the funeral home just a few hours ago to make all the necessary arrangements for my father. Mom is still in the hospital but the doctors are planning to release her the day after tomorrow so she can attend the funeral. It’s going to be difficult for everyone, but I’m determined to be there for my mom every step of the way. When we broke the news about his passing, the look on her face was almost of relief. She was at peace knowing he’d moved on to a better place. We all knew it was just a matter of time.
Grace and I took a drive afterwards just to have some time alone to talk about everything. I found myself going back fifteen years ago when I was with Jennifer.
“Brian, stop beating yourself up over this. You did everything you could. I know you wanted your father to meet your daughter but it obviously just wasn’t meant to happen.” Grace reaches over to rub the top of my leg as I continue to drive us down the highway.
I pull the car into a lot overlooking the shore and roll the windows down. Although the temperature is warm, there’s a nice breeze blowing in from the ocean. It’s actually calming, hearing the waves lap against the shore.
“I really wanted to make things right.” I look over at Grace, thankful she understands my pain.
“I know you did. And you tried. You can’t make someone do what they’re not comfortable doing. Put yourself in their position and see how it was going to affect them, too.”
I beat both hands against the steering wheel, frustrated with myself.
“Maybe if I had tried sooner.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. There’s no way to know if it would have worked out or not. Brian, we have to move forward and not backwards.”
“I’m just thankful that my daughter is with a loving family and is being taken care of. If she was doing without I’m not sure I could sit back, but I know she’s been raised in a loving family environment.”
“Maybe one day Jennifer will have a change of heart. As a mother, I don’t know how I would feel if someone contacted me about Brady. It’s got to be heart-wrenching for her as well. But she knows now that your father has passed and the decision to move forward rests with her and her family.”
We spend the next couple of moments in silence. There’s nothing more to say.
Months later.
It’s hard to believe my dad has been gone for two months. While I felt he and I were still in the rebuilding stages of our relationship, I’m so thankful we were able to put the past behind us. Even if he never got to find out about Chloe. We were father and son despite having missed out on so much and that will never change.
My mom had a few setbacks, but Grace and I both agreed she needed to stay with family until she was able to walk again. And, without any doubt, she stayed with us. No one liked seeing my parent’s house sit empty during this time but it was what was best for my mom. Her therapy is coming along well and she should be back to her old self in a couple of months or so.
My brothers and I met to discuss the possibility of moving mom into an apartment once she was able to walk on her own again. Not only could she not maintain the house without help, but the memories the house held were so painful. Surprisingly, she gave in rather easily, making it easier on the rest of the family.
The house didn’t take long to sell and we were able to handle all of the legalities with ease. My dad’s will was read, and I was shocked to learn he’d left all three of his sons equal amounts. It was reassuring to know he felt stronger about me than I even realized. Maybe deep down he had forgiven me.
Grace and I discussed what we should do with my inheritance, and, without any reservations, the money was divided between Brady and Chloe for their college funds. Our lawyer was going to get the paperwork drawn up for Chloe and have the documents sent over to Jennifer and Todd. They may have raised her together but she’s my blood. I may not have her in my life now but I will make sure her future is definitely taken care of. Jennifer and Todd may not approve but once Chloe is eighteen, the money is hers regardless of how they feel. It’s the least I can do for my daughter.
I also did something else that had been weighing heavily on me. The holidays were approaching and I felt I needed to do something special for Chloe. It’s tough when your
kid doesn’t know you exist but it sure made my conscience feel better. I packaged up the bracelet I bought for Jennifer all those years ago and sent it to her. I asked if she could give it to Chloe at a time when she felt was appropriate. At the time when I’d bought it for Jennifer, it had meant something to me whether she felt it or not. If nothing else, she’d know I’d kept the bracelet all this time and had not sold it for money, something I’m sure she thought I’d done. Maybe when Chloe gets married she can give it to her then. After all, there really isn’t much else that binds Jennifer and me, except Chloe.
In the spring, Grace and I found out we were expecting a baby. Grace had a rough time with the pregnancy and sadly, when she was twenty-four weeks along, she suffered a miscarriage. God makes things happen for reasons, reasons we don’t always have the answers for. Baby Carter was buried alongside my father, and we had a small infant headstone placed at the top of his grave.
I’d been through so much the last few years and I felt I’d personally been challenged in every way possible.
Brady continued to grow and before long he was into everything. He kept us on our toes, for sure.
Grace and I planned for a cruise in the early summer. We both needed the getaway, just to discover each other again and to heal. Her parents kept Brady and we had a nice relaxing vacation. I thank God every day for Grace being put into my life. She is my soul mate.
Epilogue
Jennifer
Todd and I managed to keep it together after finding out Brian wanted to reconnect with Chloe. There were no legal connections to her anymore but it still put our family in an awkward situation.
After many sleepless nights and some legal insight, Todd and I decided it was best for our family if Chloe didn’t find out about her real father just yet. I know it wasn’t the answer Brian was looking for but we wanted him to respect our decision. I truly feel bad for him, especially after losing his father, but I, too, had endured pain all those years ago and I couldn’t bring myself to put it behind me. When Chloe turns eighteen and can decide for herself, Todd and I will then tell her the truth about Brian. But until then, this is the way it will be for our family.
Heart of the Matter (Coming Home Book 3) Page 8
