Embracing the Knight

by Langston, Jenn

  “It’s dangerous to be out here all alone.” Ian’s voice sent a thrill up her spine.

  Seeing him leaning against a tree off the path, she repressed the wave of longing that speared though her. He did look dangerous. A forbidden fruit. Trying to appear unaffected, she slowly made her way over to him, keeping her face neutral.

  “I’m sure I can handle it.”

  Ian kicked himself off the tree and closed the distance between them. “Absolutely. You can most assuredly handle anything. Snakes included.”

  The praise and look of appreciation on his face melted her emotionless façade. “So, you intend to speak to me now?”

  Regret reflected in his eyes. “I know I haven’t been very attentive, and I’m sorry for it.”

  “Is that so?” Hope rose in her breast. “Then, tell me why.”

  “You know I’m doing this for you.” He thrust a hand through his hair, allowing it to stick up at the ends. “If we are frequently seen together, everyone will suspect something happened while we were missing.”

  An unbidden smile formed on her lips. “And, here I thought you abhorred my presence.”

  He shook his head. “Of course not.”

  Breathing in a sigh of relief, she felt like a part of her had been healed. “Good. I’ve really missed you.”

  Shock flashed across his face. “Really?”

  Clearing her throat, she tried to correct her admission. “Well, after days of having to endure your never-ending optimism, I find the solitude unnerving.”

  “Does that mean you sort of like me?” He took her hand and led her further down the path.

  “I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

  He pulled her into the shadows and drew her into his arms, his eyes focused on her lips. “Then please tell me, how far would you go?”

  Her blood pumped wildly as he crushed her lips. His kiss was urgent and demanding, feelings that she mirrored. Itching to be closer to him, she thrust her hands in his hair and plastered her body against his. She wasn’t sure what had spurred him to want to be near her again, but she wouldn’t complain.

  He groaned as he broke the kiss. “Careful, Claire. I’m human. I can only take so much.”

  Unwilling to take no for an answer, she pressed her mouth to his neck. “I’m willing to take my chances,” she breathed against his skin.

  Ian growled deep in his throat as he reclaimed her mouth and pressed himself against her until she felt the hardness of him. During the night they’d spent together, she hadn’t been able to see that part of him and curiosity burned inside of her. Would he show her now?

  Energized with the prospect, she moved her hands under his coat to tug his shirt free of his breeches. Instead of granting her wish, he pulled back a few inches and caught her arms. His breathing was labored as he watched her with dark eyes.

  “Claire.” Disappointment shone through his words. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”

  “On the contrary.” Her hands went to the top of his breeches. “I know exactly what I want.”

  He moved back onto the path, clearly not wanting to be alone with her any longer. She didn’t understand him. How could he want her one second and not the next?

  The desire flaring in his eyes brought her some comfort. Perhaps he wasn’t quite so unaffected. Although his head may be warning him against her, his body said something entirely different. She couldn’t see the harm in repeating their experience in the hunting cabin.

  “You should probably go back. After all, you wouldn’t want them to come searching for you and find you with me.”

  Feeling solemn, she nodded. He’d gone through great lengths to save her reputation. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin what he had worked so hard to accomplish. In addition, he seemed to have some aversion to being seen in her company. That would explain his behavior so far. She begged to question why he didn’t seem as concerned while being with Annalise.

  “Does that mean I should avoid you the remainder of our time here?”

  He let out a long sigh. “That would probably be best. Unless we can steal another moment to be alone.”

  Laying her hand across her chest, she feigned shock. “Alone? With me? And, here I thought you didn’t trust me.”

  “It isn’t you I don’t trust,” his voice emerged gravelly as his eyes trailed down her body. “Now go, before it’s too late.”

  Reluctance tugged at her, but she straightened her shoulders and pushed through it. Allowing their desires to control them one more time had multiple benefits, but she respected his wishes. Besides, the garden wasn’t exactly a private location.

  After leaving Ian, she returned to the manor. She had no desire to see anyone at present, so she took the long hallway down to the portrait gallery. Although being stared at by many nameless faces unnerved her, she preferred it to the glances from the other people in the manor.

  She stopped, hearing her brother’s voice coming from the study.

  “. . . just have to marry her off,” Gordon said.

  Claire sucked in her breath. Did her brother wish to rid himself of her? She knew she hadn’t been the easiest younger sister, but she didn’t think she’d made a nuisance of herself. Fighting against barging in and demanding an explanation, she forced her muscles still.

  “It isn’t as easy as that,” Lord Starsen muttered. “The rumors—”

  “Can be overlooked. Lady Annalise is beautiful and once wed, the gossip would dissipate.”

  Letting out a breath, Claire sagged against the wall. They hadn’t been talking about her. After having heard the rumors about Annalise, her heart went out to the girl. However, Annalise deserved better than to have her brother sharing this discussion about her with his friend.

  “Until the wedding night. I’d imagine her husband would take offense to discover the rumors were true.”

  Claire gasped as fear brought an erratic pattern to her heart. She was ruined, too. Ian had managed to clear her reputation, but the truth of the situation would come out. How could she allow another man to court her, all the while knowing he’d eventually discover she was no longer an innocent?

  Surely, Ian already knew this. Why would he go through the trouble to clear her name after he spent the night in her bed? It didn’t make sense. Unless he had been afraid she’d take him up on his chivalrous offer of marriage.

  She felt sick. In order to find a husband, she needed a clear, untarnished name. But, in order to marry, she needed to tell the truth—effectively maligning her name. A sob formed deep in her throat. What was she to do?

  Chapter 5

  Ian gritted his teeth as Marcus flirted with Claire at the impromptu picnic in the garden. His methods were overly dramatic, but she didn’t seem to mind. The sound of her musical laughter wafted over to Ian, only increasing his anger. She should be offering her smiles and charm to him, only, and not to some other man.

  Yesterday in the garden, he had almost brought up their future, but hadn’t wanted to ruin her teasing mood. Besides, she put his body in so much turmoil, he hadn’t been able to think straight. In truth, if Claire didn’t stop her teasing, he may be forced to give her exactly what she asked for.

  “What are you doing brooding over here?” Gordon plopped himself down on the blanket beside Ian.

  “Brooding?” Ian scoffed. “Never.”

  Moving his gaze to follow Ian’s, Gordon nodded toward where Claire and Marcus sat. “She seems happy.”

  Ian grunted noncommittally.

  “If you have anything against Marcus, you should tell me now. I may not act like an overprotective brother, but I want the best for her.”

  Swallowing, Ian tried to clear the jealousy from his mind. “I don’t. I, too, feel . . . protective of her. I don’t suppose I’ll like any man who
so much as looks at her.”

  The grin on his friend’s face indicated he took more out of the statement than Ian intended. Shifting uncomfortably, he tried to think of a way to amend his statement.

  “I know you feel the same way. After all, she’s practically a sister to me as well,” Ian quickly added.

  The lie sounded flat even to him. He hadn’t felt anything brotherly for her in a very long time. Had he ever thought of her that way? She moved from someone he tolerated out of pity to someone whose company he craved.

  “Then, you approve of Marcus?” A glint of humor still shone in Gordon’s eyes.

  “Of course,” Ian pushed out through his dry throat. “If she is interested in the earl, I have no quarrel with him.”

  When Claire’s eyes met his, he looked away. Concealing his emotions would be near impossible when assaulted by her deep brown gaze. She had cast some sort of spell over him. One that made him mad with wanting.

  “Well, I would be content with the match as well. I always hoped Claire would end up with a good man. With one of my friends.” Gordon shot him a knowing look.

  The sight of Lady Annalise approaching them saved Ian from having to reply. He forced himself to smile. He enjoyed her company and cared for her as a friend. Given that, he held no romantic feelings for her at all. She, on the other hand, seemed to think differently.

  “Do you mind if I join you gentlemen?” She pushed one errant lock of her hair off her shoulder.

  “We’d be delighted,” Gordon replied, making room for her on the blanket.

  Seeing the way his friend watched Lady Annalise made Ian want to smile. Clearly, the girl had an option besides him to choose from. Gordon had been clear in his desire not to marry young, but Lady Annalise could possibly correct him of that thinking.

  “Thank you.” She gracefully lowered herself down beside Ian. “My brother’s attempts at flirting are not amusing, and as I don’t have the good nature Miss Ashford does, I had to excuse myself.”

  Ian chuckled, inwardly loving the comment against his competition. “So, you don’t approve of men working so hard to obtain a lady’s favor?”

  Her eyes snapped to his. “No. That’s not it at all. I’m simply afraid that is not an area in which my brother excels.”

  “My sister doesn’t seem to mind,” Gordon observed.

  Her attention focused back on the couple. “I noticed that as well. Perhaps one day she shall be my sister.”

  As if aware that she was the topic of conversation, Claire joined them, Marcus trailing behind her. Ian couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge the man. Jealousy had rooted itself too deeply.

  “Lord Knightly, I can see you are enjoying yourself over here, but I wanted to find out when you intended to take me on our walk,” Claire said as if he should know what she was speaking about.

  “Our walk?” he asked, too stunned to comprehend.

  She blushed and looked at the ground. “Have you forgotten? When you first arrived, you promised me a walk through the garden.”

  “I have not forgotten.” Ian felt a surge of pride. She was choosing him over Marcus. “I simply didn’t want to abandon our gracious host and hostess.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Marcus interrupted, fixing him with an incomprehensible look. “If you promised the lady a walk, you should see to her request. I would, but I fear I have already overtaxed my leg today.”

  Claire turned her sympathetic eyes to Marcus. “I’m sorry if I have added to your discomfort. The walk can wait. I can help you to the manor if you’d like.”

  “Don’t worry about me.” Marcus waved off her concern. “Ian, take this lovely lady on her walk.”

  “With pleasure.”

  Not needing to be told again, Ian rose to his feet, attempting to hide his exuberance. Seeing how she readily accepted Marcus’s words and took Ian’s arm, this was the time to tell her what he intended for them. After she accepted his proposal, there would be no reason for them to sneak around to see one another.

  As Ian led Claire down the path, deeper into the garden, he could feel everyone’s eyes upon them. He didn’t care. At this moment, he felt as though his world had been righted.

  “I’m sorry to do that, but I needed to talk to you,” Claire began once they were a fair distance away from prying ears.

  “How can I object when a beautiful woman wants me alone?”

  She rolled her eyes. “As I told you before, charming me isn’t necessary. Besides, I have a serious matter to discuss with you.”

  He sobered up immediately. “What has happened?”

  “Nothing. I simply have a question, and as a . . .” she bit her lip, “as a friend, I hope you can help me.”

  “Of course. I would help you with anything.”

  “Thank you.” Her hands clasped and unclasped on his arm. “When one is no longer an innocent, on the wedding night how might . . . well, I’ve heard a man can tell.”

  Ian had no idea what she was asking him. He also had no idea why she would bring up such a thing. Perhaps she thought to aid Lady Annalise. Ian smiled. Yes, she was helping her friend.

  “Yes. A man can tell.”

  She let out a breath, then stopped and faced him. “Then, what is to be done? Never marry? Or should I tell him now?”

  “Him? Him, who? Marcus?” Red touched Ian’s vision, much hotter than the fire that scorched his back. This wasn’t about Lady Annalise. Her inquiry was for herself. And, she had decided to marry Marcus. Ian couldn’t allow his chance with her to disappear so fast.

  Her cheeks flamed, answering for her. “Him, or whoever else I should choose to consider.”

  “No, Claire. Marcus might be a better man than Higgins, but he doesn’t travel at all, and that includes London. Although a worse choice for other reasons, at least Higgins moves between his estate and the city. Have you even considered that?”

  “I am well aware of my options, and you have no right to question me. I came to you as a friend.”

  Feeling like a caged animal, Ian paced the path in front of her. Friend? The word brought a bitter taste to his tongue. Was that how she saw him? And, she’d used it twice.

  “Then, as a friend, I’m begging you to reconsider.”

  “Very well. I will take your objections under consideration.”

  Relief flooded through him and halted his steps. With her tight lips and narrowed eyes, he knew she wasn’t pleased with him, but he would take that over losing her to Marcus or Higgins.

  “That’s all I ask. You have a great number of options. Think about—”

  “Stop.” She held her hand out in front of her. “This isn’t why I wanted to speak with you. When am I supposed to tell my future husband what happened between us?”

  The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. “Never.”

  “Then, what am I to do?” She threw her hands in the air. “Lie? Wait until the wedding night for my husband to discover I’m no innocent?”

  There it was. The root of her question. Ian groaned. Not again. He should have known better. She believed the simple act of him lying on top of her had robbed her of her innocence. His vision glazed. He should have taken better care to make her understand.

  “That isn’t an issue.”

  Her eyes shot daggers at him. “It may not be for you, but it certainly is for me.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way.” Ian thrust his hand through his hair, not caring if the strands stood on end. This wasn’t going well. “I meant to say, you haven’t lost your innocence.”

  She scoffed. “I may not be the most knowledgeable in the situation, but I’m not ignorant either.”

  “I know, but hear me out. Although matters progressed between us much farther than it should have. I left out . . .” he coughed, un
comfortable having to tell her. “I left out quite an important part.”

  “Which was?”

  Rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers, Ian cast up a silent prayer for patience. He had never agreed with the men who felt a woman should be left in ignorance. Fathers needed to be more prepared in the event of losing the mother.

  “I fully intend to speak to your brother about your education. If your father didn’t see fit to have someone explain matters to you, I’ll insist Gordon take care of it.”

  “Or, you could just explain it now.” She tapped her foot, a challenge glistening in her eyes.

  He swallowed. The thought of burying himself inside of Claire was too much already. Having to explain it to her, and endure her moist lips fully opening in shock would end him. He couldn’t do it.

  “No, Claire.” he rasped, suddenly captivated by her lips. Her anger did nothing to dissuade his desire. He would take her now if he could. Back her up against the tree, and then . . .

  Breathing became difficult. He had to regain his composure. He focused on her face, trying to use her anger to cool his ardor. Right now, he needed to focus on having a future with her, not one moment of passion.

  “Then, can you at least tell me why? After all, I . . . I offered myself to you, and you didn’t take it. Why?”

  Ian went still. In so many ways this conversation was much worse than the last. How could he tell her the truth? To explain how he didn’t want to ruin her, yet make her understand his reasons. She looked at him expectantly, and he couldn’t take it.

  “I couldn’t,” he forced out. “I just saw you lying there, and I thought . . . well, I couldn’t do that to you.”

  Her eyes rounded before she squeezed them tight. He hated not being able to read her response in her expressive eyes. Reaching out, he touched her shoulder, but she shrugged him off. When her eyes finally opened, he read nothing in their depths.