The Lexal Affair

by neetha Napew

  “Are you glad you went?”

  “Oh, yes. It was great working with Vlad again.”

  “Are you planning on more digs?”

  “No. I was really bothered by the heat and the dust and the lack of hygiene. It didn't bother me in Syria -- but, maybe I'm getting older.” She cuddled against him. “Mom, open that suitcase. I brought gifts for everyone. I'd open it myself, but this feels too good.”

  Nyk felt her body relax against his and he saw her eyes drifting shut. He scooped her up and began carrying her upstairs. “Where are you taking me?”

  “To bed, little girl. You've had a busy day.”

  Nyk helped her out of her robe and turned down the covers. She climbed into bed. He undressed, slid in beside her and put his arm around her.

  “Oh, Nykkyo -- despite the heat and dust, it felt so good to be in the field and using my degree. This was my first opportunity to use it since I graduated. I had my doubts, and I needed this to dispel them.”

  “Andra said something quite like that to me not too long ago.”

  “Vlad and I had some nice long talks. There's an opening for an assistant professor in history at Pace. He convinced me to go for it. He thinks I'm a natural. Some Pace undergraduates came along for this dig and I really connected with them. I enjoyed teaching in Wisconsin, and now I'm more certain than ever it's what I want to do.”

  “What about the baby? Won't that hurt your chances?”

  “Vlad said if this job at Pace is the right fit, they'll work around my maternity leave. I'll call tomorrow and see if I can arrange an interview. Now, you tell me about your trip. Did Seymor send you to some meetings?”

  He shook his head. “No. I was doing a favor for ... one of the Agency bosses.”

  “Did you see Andra?”

  He nodded. “Yes, I saw Andra.”

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  “No ... yes, I did sleep with her a couple times. We didn't make love. Andra didn't want us to.”

  “I thought you said you have a little love in your heart for her.”

  “I do.”

  “Doesn't she have some for you?”

  “Andra's a remarkable woman... ” He stroked her arm. “She thought we shouldn't -- out of respect for you.”

  “Andra said that?”

  “She doesn't want us to do anything that would threaten what you and I have together.”

  “Andra is remarkable. I really would like her as my friend. Do you think she'd agree?”

  “Undoubtedly she would.” Nyk reached and switched off the light. He closed his eyes and relaxed, willing himself to sleep. He felt Suki drowse beside him.

  He saw the commando lying on his back. The pistol was in Nyk's hand pointing at the trooper. “Mercy,” the trooper pleaded. He pressed the trigger and watched the pellet emerge from the muzzle. It traveled its trajectory in slow-motion and shattered the man's forehead.

  Nyk gasped. He opened his eyes and looked around the darkened room. He closed his eyes and attempted again to will himself to sleep. He saw the commando standing before him, holding the shotgun. He jacked a shell into the chamber, pointed it at Nyk and pressed the trigger. Nyk saw the flash.

  “Yaaaah!” he screamed and sat up.

  “What's the matter?”

  He was panting and his heart was racing. “It was a bad dream! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you.”

  “It's all right -- it's all right.” She kissed him. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  He shook his head. “No. No, let's try to get back to sleep.”

  * * *

  Nyk sat in his office staring at the screen of his laptop computer. Seymor walked in and pulled the door closed. “Still troubled?”

  “I can't keep my mind on my work. I need all my energy to keep a happy face at home. I can't sleep, I can't get anything done and I go home exhausted.”

  “You haven't talked to Sukiko about it yet?”

  “No. I don't know how I can.”

  “Nykkyo, I'd have thought you, of all people, would've. Do you want a leave of absence?”

  Nyk shook his head. “I don't know what I want. I'd give anything right now for some homeworld drugs.”

  “Gads, lad. You have to get over it.” Seymor stood at the window looking out at the New York skyline. “You don't know how worried I was -- especially after I started hearing the reports of the assault on the Lexal capital. I told Kronta I'd never forgive him if anything happened to you.” Seymor turned and looked at Nyk. “He told me he'd never forgive himself.”

  “Kronta didn't shoot someone in the face. Seymor, I hope I never get my hands on another weapon. I don't know what I'd do.”

  “I've read the reports, Nyk. No one is blaming you. No one thinks you did anything but the right thing.”

  “I keep wondering about that poor man's family.”

  “That commando wouldn't have thought twice about you or yours. Nyk, you're depressed. Let's give Grynnya a call. She can hook you up with a psychomedic who might help you.”

  “I don't want to involve Grynnya.”

  “As your superior I'm ordering you to. I may have to order you to the homeworld for treatment.”

  * * *

  Nyk held Suki and stroked her arm. “Mmm,” she said.

  “Mmm?”

  She took a deep breath. “Mmmmmm. It always feels so good.” She kissed his cheek.

  Nyk switched off the lamp. Suki cuddled against him. “I always fall asleep so easily after making love with you. It's a great sleep aid.”

  “Not from boredom, I hope.”

  “Of course not. I missed you so much in Turkey. Going to bed alone was the hardest part.”

  He felt her body relax and her legs twitch as she drowsed. Nyk closed his eyes. He could hear the sounds of the city through the open bedroom window. Periodically sirens wailed in the distance.

  Images of Lexal and Sudal crept into his head. He concentrated on other memories -- when he first set foot on Earth, when he met Suki ... when he told her he loved her. He modulated his breathing and began to relax. His mind entered a twilight state as he let go of consciousness.

  A popping noise from outside the window jarred him. He sat up, hopped off the bed and crouched beside it.

  He climbed back into bed. “Nykkyo, you're shaking!”

  “I heard a noise -- it startled me -- something outside. It sounded like a shot.”

  “It was probably some truck backfiring. I'd have thought you've been here long enough to be acclimated.”

  “The window's open.” He stood and shut it. “There. That's better.” He climbed into bed.

  “Won't we be too warm? You know, I have a little furnace inside me.”

  “If you need it open, we'll leave it open.” He got out of bed and started opening the window.

  “Nykkyo ... I don't care. Leave it shut if it'll help you sleep. Please -- come to bed and stay here.” He slid into bed and put his arm around her. “Now, relax and go to sleep.”

  He stroked her arm. “I may need to make another trip to the homeworld.”

  “Again? I thought you were permanently assigned to New York.”

  “This would be for ... personal business.”

  “What sort of personal business?” Nyk continued to stroke her arm. “Nykkyo, what sort of personal business?”

  “It's nothing that concerns you.”

  “Oh. Well, fine, then. Far be it for me to interfere with your personal business.” She rolled over and lay with her back to him.

  Nyk laced his fingers behind his head. “I'm thinking of quitting the Agency.”

  “And then what? Return to Floran? What of your promise?”

  “No, no. I'd stay here -- go native. I'm keeping my promise. I just don't think I want to remain in the Agency.”

  “But, Nykkyo, you love the Agency. What would you do otherwise?”

  “I have those Floran diamonds. I could make money selling them.”

  “How long would t
hat last?”

  “It could take a few years to move them into the market. I could invest the money... your father said he could help me find a position at his investment bank .. It would be better -- I'd never have to go home again.”

  “Which is it? Do you want to go to Floran, or do you want never to see the place again? You're contradicting yourself.”

  “It was just a thought.”

  “Nykkyo, what is wrong? Sometimes I think I came home to a different person.”

  “Nothing's wrong. Good night, korlyta.”

  15 -- Medical Leave

  “Nykkyo ... Nykkyo!” Nyk woke to Suki shaking him. “Aren't you getting ready for work?”

  “I don't feel like going to the office today.” He rolled onto his stomach.

  “Are you thinking of taking a day off? I wish you had told me. I would've planned my week at the university around it. It's going to be a nice day -- it would be great to spend some time together. You know, ever since you moved in, we've been going and doing without taking time to enjoy each other. It won't be too long and the baby will be here and he'll occupy all our time. Wouldn't it be nice to have a day all to ourselves without any structure? I could show you some of the sights. What do you think?”

  “Yes, it would be really nice.”

  “Maybe I should phone the university and see if I could swap my schedule around.”

  “I don't feel like getting out of bed.”

  “Are you sick? I thought ExoAgents had their immune systems pumped up and you never got sick.”

  “No. I didn't sleep well last night.”

  “Was it more bad dreams? I wish you could tell me what's been wrong with you. Is it anxiety over the baby? I've had some bad dreams about him.”

  “No. It's not the baby.”

  “What is it, then?”

  “It's nothing.” He climbed out of bed. “I can see I'm not getting any more sleep.”

  “Pardon me for disturbing you. I'll be downstairs having some coffee.”

  Nyk showered, shaved and slipped into a pair of dress trousers and a white shirt. He grabbed a pre-tied necktie hanging on a hook in the closet, slipped it over his head and cinched the knot.

  Suki was sitting with her mother in the kitchen. “Coffee, Nick?” Yasuko asked.

  “None this morning. I'll be late.”

  “You're not leaving without me, are you?” Suki asked and set her mug into the sink.

  Nyk took her hand and they headed for the bus stop. He slipped his card into the farebox and took an empty seat in the middle of the bus. Suki slid into the seat beside his and leaned against him.

  “Please,” she said. “If something's bothering you, let's talk about it. Maybe you could come to one of my counseling sessions. They've really helped me get my arms around some of my issues.”

  “You know there's little in my background I dare discuss with a counselor. I'm working through some things. I'll be fine. I just need some space.”

  “The dreaded 'I need my space.'” She pulled away from him. “Nykkyo, those counseling sessions have really helped me. Maybe you're right and you don't dare speak with one. I'll tell you this -- when you first moved in, I was sure I couldn't go through with this pregnancy by myself. Now, I'm beginning to think I could.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  “Of course not.” She choked back tears. “I want you the way you were. Nykkyo, when a woman goes away for a month and comes home to find her partner aloof, distant -- distracted -- she begins to worry. She wonders if there's ... another.”

  “There's no other.”

  “Something happened while I was away. I know it. You're different. Even Mom notices you're different.” He looked at the floor of the bus. “All right, don't tell me about it.”

  The bus stopped at the subway station. He hustled to the platform and climbed aboard the train. Suki sat beside him and took his hand. “I'm sorry to be in your face. I never expected to return from Turkey to find you like this.”

  “It has nothing to do with you or with Turkey. I have a lot on my mind and I'm working through it. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He slipped his arm around her. “I'm sorry, Suki. I'll get over it.”

  She leaned against him as the train made its way toward Manhattan. “Here's Grand Central,” she said. “See you tonight.”

  Nyk looked at the floor of the car as it headed west. He heard the announcement for Time Square and stepped out. He headed toward the platform for the number one train. The train arrived and he slipped into a seat. He buried his face in his hands and closed his eyes. He could feel the lurching of the train as it traveled through the tunnel.

  The sensation of the train slowing for a station snapped him to attention. He looked out the coach windows. “Excuse me, which stop is this?” he asked a man standing by the door.

  “Clark Street -- Brooklyn.”

  Nyk stood, stepped onto the platform, climbed the steps to cross to the inbound side and waited for a train back to Manhattan.

  * * *

  Nyk lay in bed. He could hear Suki completing her nightly routine in the bathroom. She stepped into the bedroom. “It doesn't look like you're getting over it.”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “I'll be happy to.” She picked up her pillow and headed toward the living room.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To sleep on the sofa.”

  “No, you're not.” He jumped off the bed, grabbed the pillow from her and threw it on the bed. “If anyone sleeps on the sofa it's me.”

  She grabbed the pillow and headed to the living room. He ran to block the doorway.

  “Get out of my way!” She tried to push past him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into the bedroom.

  “Get out of my way, I said!” She swung the pillow at him. He raised his arm to block it and struck Suki below her collarbone. She lost her balance and fell hard to the floor.

  Nyk stared at her. “I'm so sorry. Are you all right?” Suki looked up at him. “Are you all right? Do you need to go to the hospital?” She stood and rubbed the base of her spine. “Suki, are you all right?”

  “Do you care?”

  “Yes, I care.”

  “Do you care about me or about this child I'm carrying?”

  “I care about you -- and the child -- both of you.”

  “You've developed an odd way of showing it.” She picked up her pillow and pushed past Nyk. He followed her into the living room. She threw down the pillow, lay on the sofa and pulled a crocheted afghan over her.

  He knelt by her and touched her shoulder. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you.”

  “Leave me alone.”

  “It was an accident.”

  “I said leave me the fuck alone.” She pulled the afghan to her chin.

  Nyk headed into the bedroom, flopped on the bed and buried his face in his pillow. He turned over and lay with his fingers laced behind his head. Sounds of traffic came through the open window and the house creaked as it cooled in the night air. He tried to will himself to sleep. He wasn't successful.

  He stood, slipped on a pair of shorts and headed from the bedroom. Suki was sleeping in a ball on the sofa. He crept past her, descended the stairs and stood in the living room.

  Nyk approached the golden Kyhana pendant hanging on the living room wall. He ran his finger over the disk, tracing the katakana symbols. His eyes were drawn upward toward another object on the wall, hanging above the pendant.

  Nyk reached and took down the antique tanto -- the samurai dagger. He turned it over and over in his fingers. The simple form-following-function design appealed to him. He slipped the wooden sheath off the blade and tested the sharpness of the edge. Discussions he had with Suki and her father about the bushido code of the samurai rolled through his mind. He recalled how the weapon was an integral part of the rite of seppuku, the ritual suicide that could cleanse a family of dishonor.

  He sat on the floor and contemplated the
blade. He touched his finger to the point, then gripped the handle in his fist.

  “The traditional way is to insert the blade below the left ribcage,” Suki said from behind.

  Nyk jumped.

  “Then, draw it across to the right. Make sure the blade goes deep -- try to sever the aorta, if you can. Your blood pressure will drop to zero and you'll go into shock and loose consciousness quickly. If you miss the aorta, you're in for a slow, painful death.”

  She approached him. “Of course, for proper seppuku you'll need a kaishakunin who'll lop off your head with a single, clean stroke after you plunge the dagger. I don't think you'll find a swordsman so skilled here in Queens. Not on such short notice, at least.” She pointed to her neck. “Another way is to sever the carotid artery. That technique was favored by women.”

  He slipped the sheath onto the blade. “I ... I came down here to look at the crest. This ... thing caught my eye.” He handed the dagger to her and she replaced it on the wall. “I was just looking at it. I had no intention of using it -- believe me.”

  “I don't know what to believe.” Nyk stood. “Let's go upstairs. We're going to have this out.”

  She followed him into the apartment. “Now, tell me what's wrong.” He shook his head. “Nykkyo, tell me! Something must've happened on the homeworld. Tell me what it was.”

  “I can deal with it. Just give me some time. You asked me to be patient with you. Why can't you be patient with me?”

  “So, you think I have a monopoly on emotional problems? I admit, I was a mess. I still am a mess, but I'm making an effort. I'm going to counseling. I resisted but I went and I'm glad I did. I've been feeling better about myself than I have in years.” She wiped tears from her face. “I never expected to come home to find you in a state of meltdown. Tell me what happened.”

  Nyk sat on the sofa, buried his face in his hands and sobbed. “You're right. Something did happen on Floran.” He shook his head. “I don't know how I'll live with myself.”

  She sat beside him and stroked his back. “Tell me what it was.”