Following Me

by K. A. Linde

  “How original. A blonde joke,” Devon responded, rolling her eyes.

  “I doubt you have one picture of yourself in Chicago. How will anyone believe you were actually here?” Garrett asked.

  I hope no one ever does, she thought.

  Devon just shrugged. She couldn’t tell him that.

  “Have it your way. What do you want to drink? I’m going to the bar,” he told her with a smile.

  “Gin and tonic would be great. Do you need some cash?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

  “On me.” He held up his hands to show he wouldn’t accept any money from her.

  “Thanks, Garrett,” Devon said sincerely.

  Where did Hadley find this guy?

  With a heavy sigh, Devon watched him walk away. She wished she could tell someone what she was going through. But how could anyone understand? Hadley would have a field day, and Devon wasn’t ready for that kind of freak out. She didn’t really know Garrett, so he wasn’t an option. She knew she should try to talk to her mom, but Devon had been avoiding her calls all week, hoping her mom would get the hint.

  Each time Devon really thought about it, she felt sick to her stomach. How can I tell anyone if I can’t even decide whether or not I made the right decision?

  “I can’t believe it’s already been a week,” Hadley said, coming to stand next to Devon. “Where does the time go?”

  “Well, you have a job,” Devon said.

  “Ugh, don’t remind me,” Hadley said dramatically.

  “You love your job.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s still a job,” she said with a shrug.

  “Garrett’s pretty great,” Devon said, changing the subject.

  “Dev, he’s more than pretty great. He’s like so freaking amazing. And let me just tell you,” Hadley said, angling her body to look directly at Devon, “he’s beyond impressive.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

  Devon laughed at Hadley attempt at being discreet. It was so unlike her friend.

  “Plus, seriously, he’s an animal in bed. I just…I’m blown away,” Hadley told her.

  Now, that sounded more like her.

  “You know the kind of luck I had in college.”

  “Oh, yes, poor little Hadley always had to date the hottest guys on campus.”

  “But they all had small dicks, and I had to teach them how to use it,” Hadley complained.

  “What about Jason?” Devon asked. “You never complained about him.”

  Hadley glanced away with a big goofy grin on her face. “I forgot about Jason. But it doesn’t matte; Garrett is better than them all! I can’t get over how good the sex is.”

  “Good,” Devon said, looking back out across the Chicago skyline. She didn’t want to have this conversation. Not only did she not want to think about Garrett and Hadley going at it like animals, Devon really did not want to think about sex at all. Too many complications there.

  “I know we don’t spend all that much time together because our work schedules conflict, but our time is well spent,” she said with a giggle.

  How did the conversation steer in this direction?

  “Thanks for making me come up here. It’s really great,” Devon said, changing the subject once again.

  “Oh, I know what’s good for you!” Hadley said.

  “Is that so?” Devon asked curiously.

  “Psh! I’ve always known better than you.”

  Devon wanted to ask Hadley what would be good for her. Maybe Hadley knew the answer. But the moment was lost.

  “Here you are, ladies,” Garrett said, returning with three full glasses in his hands.

  Devon accepted her drink out of his hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

  “No problem,” he said with a broad grin as he handed Hadley some bright blue drink.

  Devon took a gulp of her gin and tonic. It was the only way she could drink it. She didn’t really like gin, but it gave her the best buzz. She wasn’t sure why, but it worked so fast and made her so happy. She would gulp down the taste of pine needles to get to that high any day. Maybe she would eventually learn to like it.

  She finished her drink in a hurry, wanting to wash away the memories of her dream along with the thoughts Hadley had forced into her mind. Devon might be a wreck later, but it was supposed to be her going-away party after all. She went to the bar and ordered another. She knew she should take it easy, but she didn’t want to.

  When she returned, unfamiliar faces had overrun their table, and two other tables had been added to their corner. Hadley waved Devon over and introduced her to the group. They were all Hadley’s friends from work, all attached to her husband or fiancé. Devon didn’t care to know any of their names. They were here for Hadley anyway.

  She took a vacant seat next to Garrett and pretended like she was interested in the conversation. Most of the conversation centered on things Devon didn’t think about—weddings, marriage, and babies.

  Her mother wanted her baby girl to have a huge Southern wedding on a Nashville plantation covered in lace and lilies and complete with cowboy boots and bow ties. But Devon wouldn’t be the one to have that kind of wedding. If her appearance in Chicago was any indication, she certainly wasn’t ready for marriage.

  “Sorry I’m late,” a voice said, breaking into the conversation.

  Devon looked up to see Brennan standing near Garrett. He was staring at her, and she smiled at him, happy to know someone else here. He was dressed simply in dark fit jeans and a snug grey T-shirt. He had taken the time to do his hair. It seemed a day off suited him.

  “Belle,” he said, nodding his head at Devon.

  “It’s Devon,” she reminded him, like she had done all week.

  He had taken to shortening Southern belle when he referred to her. She was pretty sure he would do it just because she would correct him about it.

  “Hey, man!” Garrett said cheerfully. He stood and shook Brennan’s hand. “Good to see you.”

  “You, too,” Brennan replied.

  He never had as much enthusiasm as Garrett, but then again, Devon didn’t think many people did.

  “Take my seat,” Garrett offered. “I’m heading to the bar. You want anything?”

  “Just a beer,” Brennan said.

  Garrett nodded and loped off toward the bar. Brennan took his vacant seat between Hadley and Devon. As he sat down, Devon noticed something was off about him. She wasn’t sure what it was, but his movements weren’t as graceful and his eyes were a bit glazed over. Was he drunk already?

  When Brennan turned to look at her, she glanced down at her nails, acting as if she hadn’t been staring at him. She had been caught doing that one too many times this week. He just seemed like a puzzle she wanted to put together.

  “When do you leave?” Brennan asked directly, still looking at her.

  Devon shrugged, glancing up. “Soonish,” she said noncommittally.

  “Are you going to stop by Jenn’s before you head out?”

  She tilted her head to assess him. Was he asking her to stop by? She never knew with him. Sometimes, she thought he had liked her presence hanging around the restaurant and bothering him. Other times, he had treated her more like a bug he was trying to swat away. His changing moods kept her wondering about him.

  “Probably,” she answered.

  He nodded and then looked away.

  What the hell was that about? she wondered. She really wanted to ask him, but prying into his personal business wasn’t a good idea because it was usually reciprocated.

  Devon finished her second drink and placed it on the table in front of them. She glanced over at the bar, which was now overly crowded. She decided she didn’t want to go over there to wait in line.

  “We should have had this party at Jenn’s,” Devon said, leaning into Brennan when she spoke.

  He turned back to face her, and she found they were much closer together than they had been.

  “You think?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

/>   She glanced down at his lips and then back up before she scooted a little farther away. He smelled good.

  “I, uh…well, at least then I wouldn’t have to wait in line,” she said, gesturing to the bar.

  “But then, I’d be working,” he reminded her. “And I kind of like being here.”

  Devon swallowed and wondered if he meant he liked being here with her. No, that was ridiculous. Although, she liked being here with him right now, but she would never say that.

  “Someone has to be working tonight since you’re not there, right?” Devon asked, trying to stay on topic.

  He was just a lot closer than she should have been comfortable with, but somehow it didn’t bother her.

  “Yeah, Kami is covering the bar, but she’s not that great,” Brennan said, looking down into her eyes and smiling.

  The air suddenly felt very warm, and her cheeks flushed.

  “I’m sure she’s fine.”

  “Anyway, if this was Jenn’s, I would feel obligated to make your drinks. Then, I would get stuck behind the bar. So, really, it’s better this way,” he said, leveling her with his steady gaze.

  “It is better this way,” she agreed, not able to hold it back. “Otherwise, you would be too busy.”

  As soon as the words left her mouth, her face colored further, and Brennan smirked. She wondered what he was thinking. Did he think she was being presumptuous? After all, she didn’t know if he had a girlfriend, and he didn’t know about Reid. But her mind, slightly addled by alcohol, had jumped right through the barriers.

  Instead of trying to cover up her embarrassment or decipher him again, she stood quickly. “I’m just, uh…going to go to the restroom,” she told Brennan.

  A smile crossed his lips as he stared up at her. “Alright.”

  “If anyone asks, that’s where I’ll be,” she said as she backed away.

  “Alright,” he repeated, his smile widening.

  Devon darted for the restroom, her face flaming. How was she such a mess? Had she really said that? Honestly, what was wrong with her?

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a conversation with someone who made her feel like that much of an idiot. Normally, because Reid would always be at her side, she was never put in those kinds of situations. What would Reid think now if he could see her rushing off to the restroom with her face redder than a tomato? She didn’t even want to think about it.

  Unsurprisingly, there was a line at the women’s restroom. Devon stood just outside of the door, waiting for people to file out. After a few women exited, she edged inside and stared at the large window before her eyes. The entire outside wall was glass with quite literally the best view of Chicago she had seen. It was way better than where they were sitting by the bar. Why would this view be hidden in the women’s restroom?

  Devon walked up to the glass as she waited for the stalls to empty out. Her mind was all over the place, running between her dream, the shower, Brennan’s smile, and the sloshy feeling in her brain, and then back around and around again.

  Soon, the restroom was quiet, and Devon entered a stall, hoping the room stayed silent. She did her business and thumbed through her phone. She had been glued to it even more so than normal because she couldn’t check in with anyone. She had deactivated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and she had chosen to permanently ignore the incoming emails. Reid had sent another one, asking about her trip, but she would put off a reply as long as possible. She could feign Internet complications or something.

  It was a strange feeling to be completely alone in a world of activity. No technological linkages were rooting her to the ground. Thinking about that made her feel even worse, so she stuffed her phone back into her purse, preparing to leave.

  Devon heard the restroom door swing open. She slid her shoulder purse over her head as she listened to the girls on the other side of the wall.

  “You want to?” one girl asked.

  Devon scrunched her brows. She wasn’t typically an eavesdropper, but they weren’t being secretive.

  “Yeah, I only do it every once in a while,” a second girl responded.

  That sounded even stranger. Devon swung open her stall door and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. The two girls were huddled in the corner with a third girl hidden behind them. Devon washed and dried her hands, and then took one last glance at the odd group of girls loitering in the corner of the restroom.

  She watched one girl bend over and sniff loudly, and then she straightened and brushed under her nose. Devon froze. Holy shit! Were they seriously doing cocaine in the restroom? Just out in the open like that?

  Devon couldn’t believe it. She stayed rooted to the ground, staring in shock at the girls in front of her. Then, she paid more attention, something she hadn’t been doing since she had arrived in Chicago. Those girls looked familiar. The two with their backs to her had been sitting with Hadley. They must have worked with her.

  As her eyes shifted to the girl hidden behind the other two, she saw a rush of blonde hair nearly the same color as her own. Devon’s mouth dropped open. No way!

  DEVON STUMBLED OUT of the restroom. Her mouth was hanging on the floor as she rushed away from the scene behind her. What the hell had just happened?

  She was more in shock than surprised over the whole thing. It had come out of nowhere. Hadley had always been driven and ambitious, going after the things she wanted with zeal. Couple that with her spontaneity and the enormity of a big city, and Devon was sure recreational drug use was more likely than unlikely. Classmates who grew up here had told her that Chicago in particular was a cesspool for drug use. Young professionals from all over the Midwest would flood the city and get caught up in a lifestyle befitting their wealth. It was a status symbol, a social norm of sorts.

  Devon found it disgusting. She knew she wasn’t exactly one to talk about being an upstanding member of society, but she had grown up around musicians. Devon knew all about the lifestyle.

  How many parties had she come home to where things had gotten out of hand? Her parents didn’t have to be in the spotlight, and it still affected them. The industry was out of control, and anyone touched was sucked into it like a tornado. Even Devon, as far on the outskirts as she could get, had smoked pot in high school. She had given it up when she moved out, and she had become more vocal to her parents about her distaste.

  But Hadley…

  Oh, Hadley.

  Hadley had never even smoked pot in college. People had made fun of her for never trying anything. She was so carefree. She had said she didn’t need drugs to alter her mood because she was so awesome without them.

  Now, she’s snorting coke in public?

  Devon couldn’t fathom it. How had she lost so much of her best friend in just one semester? Then again, who was she to judge? Devon had lost all of herself in that amount of time. Or had it been happening longer, and she had just finally opened her eyes?

  She sank down into her chair and stared out across the Chicago skyline. She probably should have left right away. She didn’t know how to deal, and the more she thought about it, the more pissed she became. Hadley was just being irresponsible doing that shit somewhere she could get caught. How often was she using? Did Garrett know? Was he also on drugs?

  Devon had so many questions. But if she asked Hadley to open up, would Hadley require her to do it in turn?

  “Hey, Belle. You alright?” Brennan asked, sliding back into the chair next to her.

  “Stop calling me that,” she spat.

  “Huh,” he said.

  “Stop that, too!”

  “Stop what?” He stared at her blankly.

  She looked away. “Oh, nothing.”

  “You need a shot?” He offered her the tequila in his hand.

  “No. Shots don’t fix everything,” she said, turning to glare at him.

  It was enough that her life was a mess. Hadley wasn’t supposed to be fucked up, too. Hadley was supposed to be the well-grounded, smart,
and successful one. She was supposed to have the world at her feet.

  “Suit yourself.” Brennan tipped back the drink.

  “What’s your deal?” she asked, her despair getting the best of her.

  Brennan shrugged. “What’s your deal?”

  He was looking directly into her eyes now. It made her uncomfortable, so she looked away. She really just wanted to say that she had asked first, but in the interest of not sounding like a toddler, she held it back.

  “I just don’t get you.”

  “Sorry,” he said unapologetically.

  Sorry? Like that explains everything away, she thought bitterly.

  “Are you always this talkative?” she asked dryly.

  “Well, I thought you were quiet,” he said with a shrug.

  She was certain that he was purposely evading her questions now. Considering how little she was telling anyone, his nonanswers were downright infuriating.

  “Whatever,” she finally consented. “I think I’m going to leave. I need to talk to Hadley about…some shit, but I think she’ll be more articulate tomorrow.”

  “Why? Is she wasted?” he asked, looking up at Devon where she now stood over him.

  Devon sighed in frustration. “You could say that,” she huffed.

  “Hey,” Brennan said, catching Devon’s arm before she walked away, “you’re not going home alone, are you?”

  He slowly stood up, wavering a bit on his feet. If anyone was wasted, it was Brennan. Devon was feeling surprisingly sober after her rendezvous in the restroom.

  “Yes,” she said, looking down at his arm, “I’m going home alone.”

  “No way.” He shook his head. “The city isn’t safe at this hour.”

  “And you’re going to do what?” she asked, looking him up and down. “You can barely walk.”

  He blinked a few times and then straightened. He was clearly trying to make himself look more stable, but Devon wasn’t fooled. She had been drunk enough before to know that look in his eye was far from sobriety. And she wasn’t going to have some drunk guy she had only known for a week help her home. That offer didn’t sound like it promised anything but mayhem.