Following Me

by K. A. Linde

“Are you seeing someone else? Is that what this is about?” he asked.

  She heard the tension in his voice, and she tried to remain perfectly calm. If she reacted at all to her thoughts of Brennan, it would be bad. She couldn’t let Reid know. She had to keep that one thing from him. She was safe as long as Brennan’s identity was kept safe.

  “No, I’m not seeing anyone,” she said softly, staying as calm as possible. “I just feel like we’re rushing.”

  “We’ve been together for three years. How could we possibly rush this?” he asked, reaching out for her.

  “You know what I mean,” she said with a shrug.

  “Just hear me out, Dev,” Reid said softly. He cupped her chin and lifted her face to his. “I love you so much. I’ve missed you something fierce. If you feel like I’m rushing you, then I’m rushing you. I want to talk. I want to spend time with you. It’s been too long since I’ve gotten to be with you. Just come upstairs with me.”

  Devon bit her lip and stared up into the face of the man that she had thought for years was her greatness, her true love. Something in his pleading seemed to weaken her resolve. Maybe it would be different. If he loved her, maybe it would be different.

  “Please come with me, Dev. I’ve been a mess without you.” He planted a tender kiss on her lips.

  “Alright,” she said softly, breaking the kiss. “We’ll go upstairs and talk.”

  He smiled like he had won a prize, and then he took her hand and walked her into the hotel. They took the elevator, and after they reached the floor and found their room, Reid slid the room key into the slot. Devon walked in before him and heard him push the lock over to bar entrance. She swallowed and looked around. It was nice enough with a small living area and a king-size bed. She didn’t even bother looking in the bathroom. The last thing she wanted was to see another one of her nightmares.

  Devon decided to take a seat on the chair in the living space. It faced the door and away from the bed. She wanted a clear view of the exit, and she wanted to avoid the bed at all costs. That was the way she wanted to handle this, focusing on a clear escape route.

  “Okay…” Reid walked up behind her and began to massage her shoulders.

  When he touched her, she tensed up, and he just rubbed harder. She was so on edge. She didn’t know what was going to happen.

  “You said you wanted to talk, so let’s talk.”

  “Um…alright,” she began.

  “Let’s talk about how you lied to me. Or we could talk about how you ran away to Chicago. How about we talk about how you’ve been acting all night or how scared you looked when I found out that you were lying? Maybe we should just talk about the bartender,” he said, his voice thick with venom.

  Devon felt like she had stopped breathing. Not Brennan. They couldn’t talk about Brennan.

  “Ah, so it is the bartender then,” he said like he had stumbled upon something.

  “Reid,” she gasped out, trying to find air.

  “You said you wanted to talk. I think we can talk about him first. Did you fuck him?”

  He pushed into the muscles of her shoulders so hard that she tried to jump away from him, but he held her tightly in place.

  “Reid, that’s not why I’m here,” she cried. “Stop! You’re hurting me!”

  He only held her more firmly. “Sometimes, I don’t think you listen to me unless I force you, Devon.”

  “I’m listening!” she spat in frustration, trying to wrench herself away from his grasp.

  “I don’t think you are because you haven’t answered my question yet. Did you fuck him? It’s a yes or no question, Devon.”

  She swallowed. She couldn’t talk about Brennan. How did Reid know? She had done everything she could to keep Reid from finding out, yet he had still figured it all out. She wanted to break down and cry, but Reid didn’t deserve her tears.

  “No answer, Devon? You lost your voice somewhere? I’ll just assume that means yes.” He let go of her shoulders and walked around to the front of the chair.

  She tried to stand, but he pushed her back down to a sitting position.

  “You were here acting like a whore while I was in St. Louis missing you. Doesn’t really seem fair to me, does it?”

  He was acting completely insane. She needed to get out of there. This was going nowhere fast. How had she let him manipulate her so perfectly? He had preyed upon her weakness and her desire to make him happy. Even when she was desperate to get rid of him, it was hard to break old habits. For so long, the thought of being without Reid put her in an agonizing state of self-doubt and fear, but now, she realized she had only projected what it actually was like when she was with Reid on to what she assumed it would be like without him. Living without Reid had led her to Brennan, and when she was with him, she had neither self-doubt nor fear.

  “You wanted to talk, but I’m doing all the talking,” he said. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

  He grabbed her arms and hoisted her out of the chair he had just thrown her into. His hands circled her bicep and squeezed, pulling her face-to-face with him. The pressure on her arms was agonizing.

  “You want to know why I left?” she asked. “This is why I left. I was tired of you hurting me.”

  “If you didn’t hurt me so badly, I wouldn’t have to do anything. Why do you want to hurt me, Devon?” he asked. He shook her forcefully. “Explain it to me. Why would you leave me, lie to me, cheat on me?” he yelled.

  A tear ran down her cheek, and there was nothing she could do about it. “Reid, please,” she said, blinking back tears. “Don’t hurt me.”

  “I shouldn’t hurt you?” he asked in disbelief. He slammed her back into the wall. “I shouldn’t hurt you? After what you did to me, you think I should just let you go? You think I should let someone else get his grubby hands on you? You’re mine, Devon!” he yelled into her face. “You’re mine!”

  Reid threw her on the ground, and her head collided with the corner of the side table. She saw spots through her vision while she heard ringing in her ears. She was sure Reid was saying something, but she wasn’t sure what it was. Her breath came out in gasps as tears poured down her face, and then the shock of the fall hit her. She tentatively reached her hand to the back of her head and felt the lump that was already forming. It was too tender to even touch lightly with her fingertips.

  “Do you hear me?” Reid cried, bending over and forcing her to look at him.

  “What?” Devon whispered, her voice light and wispy. She didn’t feel too well.

  “You’re not even listening to me,” he cried, looking maniacal. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. How can I make myself any clearer to you?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to stand.

  She felt silly sitting on the floor with him towering over her, screaming at her, but she needed to let the stars clear first. She had seen stars before. Sometimes, she had blacked out from them. She couldn’t black out right now. She needed to keep her mind active. No sleeping.

  Think about something else. Think about Brennan. What would he do if he were here? He was a doctor’s son. He would take care of her, hold her while she cried, and kiss her wounds. He wouldn’t do anything to harm her. He would wipe her tears away and tell her he never wanted to see her cry again. He thought she was beautiful. That made her smile.

  “Oh, you have something to smile about?” Reid yelled, breaking through her reverie. “Do share what is so funny.”

  “Nothing,” she said, trying to stand again.

  Reid grabbed her wrist and yanked roughly until she was on her feet. Her shoulder wrenched, and she was sure he was going to pull it out of its socket. By the time he had lifted her all the way to her feet, her shoulder was screaming at her. She steadied herself on the wall to keep from falling back over. The stars were clearing a bit, but she still felt slow and hazy all over. Her mind needed to start clearing. Reid was going over the edge, and she couldn’t afford to be out of
it.

  “That’s right. You are nothing without me. Just look at you,” he said, gesturing to her. “You’re a wreck.”

  “I’m a wreck because of you,” Devon mumbled.

  Reid laughed at her. “You think I made you a whore? I don’t even know why I want to be with you, except that I love you. I will eventually forgive you for the things you have done wrong.”

  “You’ll forgive me?” she asked in disbelief. Really? Was he going to try and blame her for everything?

  “That’s just the kind of guy I am,” he said a bit too calmly.

  Devon closed and opened her eyes, feeling the haze slowly lift. It was too slow, much too slow. She hadn’t had that much to drink so that she could stay alert, and now, with one tumble, she was losing it. She tried keeping her eyes closed longer to see if that would help, but when she opened them again, Reid was standing right in front of her.

  When he pressed her backward, she swallowed, wondering what else he could possibly want from her. She was a fool to believe that he would just be able to talk, that he wouldn’t hit her like he had every other time. And she would be a fool now to think he was done with her.

  Reid reached out and stroked her hair like she was a pet. He was staring at her possessively, and it was terrifying. His subdued demeanor after an outburst frightened her more than the outburst. At least when he exploded, she knew what to expect. The restraint made it more difficult to judge him.

  His hand trailed down her side to her waist. Her head started to clear, and all she could think about was escaping. She wanted to run. She wanted to get away, but she couldn’t move. He kissed her cheek, across her jawline, down her neck, across her collarbone…anywhere he could reach. Devon whimpered, trying to shift away from him, but his body held her in place.

  “Reid, stop,” she pleaded.

  He picked her up like a rag doll and carried her across the room to the giant bed. Her panic heightened at the thought of what he might be thinking.

  “Reid, please stop. Please. No!”

  He tossed her back on the bed, and before she could scramble away, he yanked on her ankle and pulled her flat against the bed.

  “If you’re going to act like a whore, I’ll treat you like one. You’re mine.” He ran his hand up between her legs and massaged the sensitive skin with his thumb. “I’m going to take what’s mine.”

  Devon gasped in shock at his eager touch. It felt so wrong. He had been forceful before, but that had been when she trusted him. This was different. This was…that word she never thought about. No, she couldn’t even think about it now. It was demoralizing.

  Without a second thought, Reid grabbed her underwear and yanked them down past her knees. Tears burst from her eyes as he probed her body. It was a violation, and it felt wrong, so wrong. She tried to pull away from the touch, but he held her legs open, so she couldn’t move.

  “Reid, no. I don’t want this! I don’t want you to do this!” she yelled, feeling more alert than she had minutes before.

  “You’ll get what you deserve, and I’ll take what I want,” he said matter-of-factly.

  She closed her eyes and tried to think of what to do. She had to get away. She repeated that to herself a few times. She couldn’t let him get away with this.

  When she heard a zipper, her eyes flew open. Reid wrenched his pants down and moved to position himself. He was already hard. He must have gotten off on the control, at having her weak, at taking what he wanted. It was sick and twisted.

  Before he had the chance to do anything further, Devon screamed at the top of her lungs. She didn’t know if anyone was around, but her fight-or-flight instinct was taking over, and she couldn’t let this happen. She had endured enough. This was too much.

  Reid’s hand clamped down on her mouth. When he leaned forward over her, she jabbed her fingers into his eyes. He cried out in pain, pressing one hand over his eyes. He used the other hand to backhand her with enough force to knock her off the bed. Devon screamed again as she tumbled to the floor.

  It felt like her eye had exploded as blood rushed from her nose all at once. She pressed her hand to her cheek, and it hurt all over, but she didn’t have time to think about it. She stood as quickly as she could and rushed toward the door.

  Devon had just yanked it open when Reid was upon her. He reached out for her, and she turned and brought her knee up into his groin. Then, she slammed the door open into his head. He fell backward, but she hadn’t knocked him unconscious. It gave her just enough of a head start to make it out of the room and run down the hallway.

  She jammed the elevator button as many times as she could. Devon heard him rushing down the hallway, coming after her, just as the elevator door dinged open. Adrenaline threw her into the elevator, and the door closed just before Reid got there. She clicked the button for the lobby and prayed to whatever god would listen that she made it to the bottom floor before he could run down the stairs.

  In the mirrors of the elevator, her reflection stared back at her. She could already see her face swelling up like a balloon. She would for sure have a black eye tomorrow. He had only ever given her one of those before. She choked back tears.

  The doors opened on the bottom floor, and she ran as fast as she could out of the hotel. People stared at her, but she didn’t care. A cab was idling in front of the hotel, and she yanked open the door before the valet could even approach.

  “Where to?” the cabbie asked, pulling out of the hotel entrance.

  Devon leaned her head back against the seat of the cab and slowly breathed out a sigh of relief. She had made it. She had gotten away.

  THE CAB MERGED into traffic and began to drive her away from the hotel. Devon pulled out her phone with shaky hands. She needed to get a hold of Hadley. She needed to tell her about Reid. That had to be the first place he would look when he came after her. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted. He had been holding back since he had gotten here, and the hotel room had pushed him over the edge. She didn’t know what he would do next. All she knew was that she needed to stay away from him…or she would never get away again.

  “Come on, Hadley,” Devon grumbled into the phone as it rang.

  Hadley’s voice mail picked up, and Devon hung up and tried again. No luck.

  “Fuck.”

  She needed to keep Hadley and Garrett safe. No one else needed to get hurt tonight. Knowing what she had to do, she dialed Garrett’s number. He was normally up this late since he didn’t have to work in the mornings. He better answer!

  Garrett answered on the second ring. “Devon?”

  “Garrett, thank God you answered. I’ve been trying to reach Hadley,” she said desperately.

  “Where have you guys been? I thought you were coming back to the apartment. I tried reaching you, but you never answered. I was waiting up for you,” he said a hint of panic in his voice.

  “Reid took me back to a hotel. He said he wanted privacy,” she told him.

  “A hotel? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

  “No. I don’t know. Reid got out of control.” She didn’t want to tell Garrett. She didn’t want to confide in him. But what other choice did she have? She needed him right now. “He hit me. I just barely got away.”

  “Fuck, Dev!”

  She could practically see him pacing the apartment while he talked to her. It was a common habit of his.

  “Do you need me to come get you? Are you safe?”

  “No. No. I’m in a cab. I’m safe for now,” she whispered.

  “Good. I’m glad you’re away from him. Are you on your way here? I can go downstairs and wait for you,” he said.

  She heard shuffling on the other end, like he was pulling on shoes or something.

  “Garrett, no. I’m not coming back there tonight. That’s where he expects me to go. I’m not safe there,” she told him.

  “Devon, you’re safe here. Where else are you going to go?” he asked.

  The words hu
ng out between them. She didn’t want Garrett to know where she was going. She didn’t want anyone to know where she was. She couldn’t risk Reid finding out.

  “It doesn’t matter. I don’t feel safe. I need to hole up somewhere,” she said.

  “So…you’re going to go see Brennan?” Garrett asked cautiously.

  Devon closed her eyes and tilted back her head. Brennan. No, Garrett couldn’t know that was where she was going.

  “No, I’m not going to see Brennan. He’s not happy with me right now. Don’t blame him. I’ll find somewhere else.”

  “Devon, I don’t like this,” Garrett said.

  “Well, I don’t like the possibility of getting hit again,” she said with a finality to the statement.

  “I…don’t blame you. I’m so sorry, Devon. I didn’t know. I would have never let you leave if I knew,” he rambled on with his apology.

  Devon shook her head, trying to understand his words. The adrenaline from her confrontation with Reid was wearing off, and she felt herself slipping toward unconsciousness. The stars were coming back, and her head was pounding. Her cheek had gone numb, and the blood had stopped, but she didn’t think feeling numb was a good thing. Numbness meant severe pain later. Her eye was swelling, and she wondered if it would seal shut.

  “What are you talking about, Garrett? I’m not feeling that well,” she whispered. Her voice was slipping. This wasn’t good.

  “Devon, I’m so sorry. I know you have no right to forgive me. I don’t expect you to. I wouldn’t forgive me,” he said.

  “Garrett, I’m over the kiss. It doesn’t even matter anymore,” Devon said softly.

  “Not the kiss, Dev,” he said. “More than that—”

  “Whatever you’re talking about, it doesn’t matter. I’m alive. That’s what matters.”

  Garrett sighed on the other line. “It’s not all that matters. It’s the most important thing, but it’s my fault that it’s even a consideration.”

  Devon sat up slowly and tried to piece together what he was trying to tell her. Something more than the kiss. Something that mattered besides her being alive. Something that was his fault. Her heart sank.