Beside Still Waters

by Tracey V. Bateman

  When his fingers were inches away from the gun, Jonesy felt a sharp pain slice through his leg. Crying out, he looked down. Randy pulled the knife out and raised it again. In a split second, Jonesy kicked with his other leg and knocked the knife from Randy’s hand. Randy rolled to his feet and ran for the nearest horse.

  Despite another round of fire, Randy rode away amid a cloud of dust. Jonesy crawled to cover and snatched his handkerchief from his pocket. His leg throbbed, and blood poured from the knife wound in his calf.

  “Jonesy,” Billy called. “You okay?”

  “I’ll live.”

  “How many more are there?”

  “Just two, and neither of them seem that smart. We won’t have any trouble bringing them in. It’s dead or alive, right?”

  “That’s right. And I brought along plenty of bullets, so I’ll outlast them.”

  “Wait!”

  Jonesy recognized Timothy’s voice.

  “Don’t shoot. We’re coming out.”

  “Do it, then,” Billy said. “Slowly, with both hands in the air. Any sudden moves, and I’ll open fire.”

  Within moments, Billy had both of the red-haired men tied up. He glanced at Jonesy. “You going to make it back home?”

  “I’ll have to.”

  Billy nodded. “Which one is Pete?”

  “Neither.” Jonesy flinched against the pain in his leg as he limped to his horse. “Apparently this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this. Even these vermin didn’t care for it. They had told him not to do it again. That’s why he didn’t come back to them.”

  Billy’s face blanched. “You mean he could still be in town?”

  Jonesy gave a grim nod. “Or close by.”

  They slung Al’s lifeless body over one of the horses. Once the others were mounted, they headed toward Hobbs.

  eight

  Though she had awakened this morning with optimism, now, mere hours later, depression clouded over Eva as she scooted beneath the blue coverlet, ready for sleep. Darkness had fallen, and Jonesy hadn’t come by today. Even though she had no intention of seeing him, the fact that he had given up disappointed her.

  It had only been a few days. But she supposed he had to start making his plans to go back to Texas. After all, his land meant more to him than anything.

  She had told him to leave, she reasoned, so it wasn’t fair to be angry with him for giving up. Still, he hadn’t tried for long.

  A heavy cloud hung over her, and she thrashed about as sleep eluded her. Only the darkness, and fear of what might be there if she left the safety of her bed, prevented her from throwing off the covers and pacing away the nervous energy buzzing in her stomach.

  Where was Jonesy now? Was he still at home? Had he finally taken her hint yesterday and left for Texas?

  In a fit of frustration, Eva labored to sit up. She glanced about the dark room, lighted only faintly by the moon shining through the window.

  Her heart was racing by the time her back rested against the feather pillows propped against the headboard. A scratching noise by the window caught her attention. She tensed, fear gripping her tighter than a corset. Paralyzed, she watched as a shadow passed by, stopped, and came back. She wanted to scream, to cry out, but her throat tightened.

  Then she remembered the words her attacker had whispered that awful night: This ain’t over.

  The screams found their voice. Eva couldn’t stop even when Pa and Ma burst through the door.

  “What is it, Little Papoose?” Pa took Eva into his arms, and the screams gave way to silent sobs.

  “He came back for me, Pa. Just like he said he would.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I saw him outside the window.”

  “Oh, honey, you must have been dreaming,” Ma said. “That evil man is gone. As a matter of fact, Jonesy and Billy tricked those other two outlaws into leading them right to the hideout for the whole gang of thieves and cutthroats. So you don’t have anything to worry about.”

  “Hope,” Pa said, his voice ringing with frustration, “Billy told me that in confidence. Eva wasn’t supposed to know about this until it was all over.”

  “Jonesy went after the outlaws?” Eva asked.

  Pa patted her leg and stood. “I’ll go have a look around outside.”

  “No!” Palpable fear slithered up from Eva’s gut until she felt it in her chest and in her throat. “You can’t go outside. What if he’s still out there?”

  “I’ve survived a lot of things in my day. I’ll be careful.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right back.”

  With foreboding, Eva watched him leave.

  Ma took Pa’s seat on the bed next to her. “It’ll be all right, Eva. I’m sure you were only dreaming.”

  “No, I wasn’t, Ma.” Eva pulled away. “I know what I saw.”

  Ma’s eyes flashed hurt, and guilt pricked Eva. But she had to be heard.

  “I couldn’t sleep, so I sat up. And when I looked over to the window, I saw him walking back and forth. Then he tried to get inside.” Ma still didn’t look convinced. Eva sat up slightly and patted her pillows. “Mama, look! Why would my pillows be propped up if I had been sleeping?”

  For the first time, a worried frown creased her mother’s brow. A light glowed outside the window where Pa held the lantern.

  “Eva, darling. What did you mean when you said that he came back for you like he promised?”

  Swallowing hard, Eva fought the image. “I was barely conscious, Ma. But when Jonesy started calling my name, that scared him. Before he ran away, he said he’d be back. He kept saying I had betrayed him. But the only time I’ve ever seen him was that day on the road. He must have mistaken me for someone else. I kept thinking he’d realize I wasn’t the woman he thought I was and he’d stop. But he didn’t.”

  “Oh, Eva. You’ve been through so much.” Hope put her arms around her daughter. But Eva stayed limp, unmoving. Surprisingly, for the first time since thinking or talking about that night, there were no tears. She was just so tired.

  “Jesus, heal her.”

  Ma’s prayer was cut short when Pa came back into the room carrying several boards and a hammer. Eva searched his eyes, and terror cut a line through her heart. “I was right, wasn’t I?”

  He gave a grim nod. “Someone was out there, all right. I looked around and couldn’t find any signs that he might still be here. But I’m not taking any chances that he might come back.”

  Pa made an imposing figure when he was determined. Eva had always been a little in awe of him. Spending his young adult years as a wagon scout, meeting Indians. He’d even married an Indian girl who had died before he met Eva’s ma. His wild spirit had always reached out to Eva. Had always inspired her. How her cowardice must disappoint him.

  He glanced at Ma over his shoulder. “Hope, will you come hold the other end of the board?”

  Ma stood immediately and went to him.

  Eva watched her parents close her in, nailing boards over her window as though she were a princess in a tower. Keeping her locked away and safe from the dangers of the big, bad world.

  Though part of her enjoyed the safety those boards afforded, another part of her deeply resented the confinement. Now there was nothing for her to see but the inside of this room. No light shining through, no birds flying by.

  “That ought to do it.” He walked across the room. “If you hear one sound, you be sure to call out. We’re going to leave your bedroom door open.”

  Eva’s heart picked up speed.

  Pa studied her face. “I’ll spend the night in the chair. Don’t worry, honey.”

  “I’m sorry, Pa.”

  Setting his hammer on the table next to the bed, he sat beside her. “For what?”

  “For being so afraid.”

  “No need to be sorry. It’s a pa’s job to keep his little girl safe.”

  “But I’m not a little girl anymore.”

  “You
’re my little girl. And I’ll sit next to your bed as long as it takes for you to feel safe again. Until then, just know that your family loves you.”

  “Thank you, Pa.”

  He started to say something else but hesitated.

  Eva smiled. “I know. You want to tell me that Jonesy loves me.”

  Pa gave a soft chuckle. “You know your pa pretty well, don’t you?”

  “Yes. We’re alike in so many ways.”

  Ma moved softly across the room toward the bed. “I’ll leave the two of you alone.” She bent forward, and Eva caught the scent of apple blossoms that always seemed to cling to Ma.

  She pressed a soft kiss to Eva’s forehead. “Good night, darling.”

  “Good night, Ma.”

  Eva had grown increasingly short-tempered with her ma over the past few days. Not that she’d be openly disrespectful, but inside, she wanted to tell her to stop trying so hard to make her feel better. Stop feeding her cookies and cake and chicken pie, even though it was her favorite meal. Stop asking her to get out of bed and take a bath. Didn’t Ma realize that no matter how many baths she took, she’d never feel clean again?

  After Ma left the room, Pa picked up the Bible on the nightstand.

  Eva groaned. “Oh, Pa. Do we have to read tonight? Can’t we just talk?”

  She received a stern glance in response. “You got something against the Bible all of a sudden, Eva?”

  “No. But we haven’t just talked together since …” Eva dropped her gaze to her fingers, twisting the covers until her knuckles grew white.

  “Eva.” Pa leaned forward and covered her hands with one massive paw. “No amount of talking about the weather, or how the furniture making is going, will help your soul break free from the pain.”

  “Oh, Pa. I’m the one who has to live with the memories. Can’t I just try to live with them my own way?”

  “By staying in bed? Not bathing? Turning your back on God? Honey, He’s the only One who knows how you feel.”

  “All right, Pa.” Eva closed her eyes. “Go ahead and read.”

  Pages rattled, then Pa’s baritone voice began to read. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”

  Eva felt a strange comfort in the psalm. Peace drifted over her, and the image of a gently flowing stream filled her mind as Pa read. “He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul.” In that place between awake and asleep, Eva was aware of Pa finishing the psalm, then moving carefully to the chair next to her bed.

  She drifted to sleep, feeling safe for the first time in days.

  Jonesy limped up the steps to the Riley home, determined that this time they weren’t going to keep him from seeing Eva. It had been a full week since he’d gotten home from his useless trip to the outlaw hideout, and he had been forced to sit in bed half of that time due to the knife wound in his leg. Dr. Smith had told him he must have an angel watching over him, because if the knife had hit an inch higher, it would have tapped an artery behind his knee and he would have bled to death in a matter of minutes.

  Jonesy had come out yesterday. But Mr. Riley had met him at the door. The day before, Mrs. Riley had met him. Each had the same message from Eva: “Go to Texas and forget about me.”

  Today he’d been smart. He’d gone to town and asked Lily to come out with him. Eva would see Lily, and he would wait on the porch, hoping her friend could convince her. If she still didn’t let him in, he’d try something else tomorrow.

  “I still don’t think this is going to work, Jonesy,” the pretty, petite blonde said, nervously patting her hair and smoothing her gown. “Even if they let me in, that doesn’t mean Eva’s going to see you.”

  “I know.” He knocked on the front door.

  Soon Mrs. Riley appeared. She gave him an indulgent smile. “I’ll say one thing for you, Jonesy. You’re persistent.”

  “I don’t intend to give up, ma’am.”

  She patted his arm. “I hope you never do.”

  Her comment raised his hopes. “May I see her?”

  “I’m afraid she still refuses.” She turned a pleasant smile to Lily. “She will, however, see you.”

  Lily gave him a look of sympathy. “I’ll try to talk to her,” she whispered as she moved around him and hurried through the door.

  “You know where her room is, Lily,” Mrs. Riley said. “Just go on back there.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  Jonesy fought the envy rising inside him as he watched Lily disappear from view, while he wasn’t even allowed past the front porch.

  “Come on in, Jonesy. My daughter might not want to see you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy your company while you wait for Lily to come out.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Jonesy stepped inside. “I appreciate the offer.”

  nine

  Absolutely not. She would not see Jonesy no matter how many people he sent to speak for him.

  “He’s not going to stop,” Lily said matter-of-factly.

  “He will. Eventually.”

  Lily shook her head. “Trust me. I’ve never seen a man so determined. Why won’t you see him? It’s becoming ridiculous. Poor Jonesy. At least tell him to his face that you have no intention of marrying him.”

  “If I do, do you think he’ll go away and leave me in peace?”

  “If he truly believes that you aren’t going to marry him, I think he’ll give up. But he won’t until he hears it from you.”

  Eva’s legs trembled under the covers. “What if I write him a letter and you could give it to him?”

  Lily’s face screwed up into a scowl. “Don’t be a coward.”

  “Coward? You think fear is what’s keeping me from Jonesy?”

  Lily’s nod infuriated Eva. She was afraid of a lot of things nowadays, but telling Jonesy to go to Texas without her wasn’t one of them. “All right. I’ll see him.” As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. “Wait.”

  But a smiling Lily was already across the room and had the door open.

  Eva’s mind whirled. Why had she given in to Lily’s baiting so easily?

  The sight of Jonesy filling the doorway made her stomach jump. “I must look awful.”

  A smile touched his lips, and he moved forward. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

  False laughter gurgled in her throat. She dropped her gaze before his look of pity. “Always a romantic—even when you’re telling a lie.”

  “I would never lie to you.”

  Silence pervaded the room, and suddenly Eva sensed his presence too deeply. She clutched the covers up to her throat.

  Jonesy’s eyes flickered over her. “It’s so good to see you, Eva. How are you doing?”

  The last thing she wanted to discuss with Jonesy was her ordeal. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you in a lot of pain?”

  The truth was that only twinges and light bruising remained. But Eva was ashamed to admit it to him and try to explain why she was still in bed, unable to leave her room.

  “Not a lot of pain anymore.”

  Admiration flickered in his eyes, making Eva feel even worse.

  “Really, Jonesy, I’m almost all healed.”

  “How long before you can get a wedding planned?” The intensity of his gaze thrilled her and terrified her at the same time.

  “Jonesy, please try to understand. I’m just not ready to leave my family.”

  “Then I’ll wait.”

  “That’s not going to do any good. I don’t ever want to move to Texas.” Eva fingered the flowers on her comforter.

  “I’d like for you to go away and stop asking me. I’m not going to change my mind. Ever.”

  “Yes, you are.” He said it with such finality that Eva almost said yes right then and there. But her common sense prevailed. “There are reasons.” Her face burned, and she knew she must be flushed.

  Jonesy remained silent for a long moment, until Eva ventured a glance into his face. His eyes were closed. “Jonesy?”


  He opened his eyes and regarded her with sadness. “I don’t know how to say this delicately. But I don’t hold you responsible for what that man did to you.” Stepping forward, he knelt beside the bed. Tears glistened in his eyes. “My love for you reaches so far beyond the physical that nothing matters except sharing my life with you.”

  The raw honesty shining from his eyes sifted all embarrassment from the conversation. Eva gave him the candid answer she had held in her heart for the past weeks. “I don’t know if I could ever be a proper wife to you. I could cook and clean. I could keep you company and read poetry with you, but I don’t know that I could ever sleep in your bed and bear your children.”

  The blood drained from his face as though he hadn’t even considered that she might not want to share his bed. As though he’d only been thinking of his own reaction to the fact that she’d be coming to him tainted, unclean, impure, used goods.

  Anger boiled inside her at his vanity. “I see that does matter to you. You don’t mind that I’ve been used by another man as long as I let you use me, too.” She turned away. “Get out, Jonesy. Go to Texas. Build your ranch and find a woman who wants to be your wife. Once and for all, will you please leave me in peace?”

  Bitter pain twisted like a knife inside Eva’s heart as Jonesy stood and left the room. She tightened her jaw and refused to give in to the sobs threatening just below the surface of her restraint. Tears would do no good.

  Lily appeared a second later. “What happened? Jonesy looks positively ill.”

  Eva gave a short laugh. “I told him the truth. That I won’t share his bed. I think that convinced him I’m not the woman for him.”

  A gasp escaped Lily’s throat. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Lily’s face turned three shades of pink. Eva shook her head. What did delicacies matter anyway? Did they prepare a girl for the truth about relations between a man and a woman? Humiliation, fear, pain. She’d never give a man that kind of power over her again.

  “Jonesy would never hurt you.” Lily’s voice had a troubled hesitance. As though she was trying to convince herself.