Falling into Exposure

by A. Zavarelli

  Once inside, we sit down and Gabriel orders our drinks. I stare dreamily at him as he speaks in his deep, rich voice to the waiter. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt with his gray vest, which takes me by surprise. I didn’t realize until now that I’ve only ever seen him in white and black. I watch the shirt stretch across his broad chest as he sits back in the booth, chuckling at my dopey eyed grin.

  “What are you thinking about over there?”

  “Just how unbelievably sexy you look in that shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in that color before.”

  “You’re right, it’s new. I saw it, and it just felt right. I needed to mix up my wardrobe a bit I think.”

  “Well, I love it.” I grin.

  The waiter reappears with our drinks and retrieves a writing pad from his apron. Gabriel orders first and then watches me attentively as I order the same dish. Gnocchi alla Rosetta.

  He smiles as the waiter leaves the table. “Once again, Victoria, you are full of surprises.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Picking this place. It’s not what I would have expected, at all. But I like it. And I love the fact that you can actually sit down with me and enjoy a meal without counting the carbs out loud as you eat.”

  “I love food.” I laugh. “Can’t deny that. And I like it here too. Alanna and I stumbled upon it one night by accident. It reminds me of my mom.”

  His eyes grow sympathetic in response to my words. “What about your mom? Where is she?”

  “She passed away when I was young,” I mumble, feeling stupid for even bringing it up.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, reaching for my hand across the table.

  The simple gesture makes me emotional again, and the words spill from my mouth before I can stop them.

  “She was Italian, and she made some kick ass food. My Dad loved it. He used to talk about her food for years, right up until the day he died.”

  “Both your parents are gone?” he frowns.

  “Yes.” I choke out a smile. “But it all seems like so long ago now.”

  “Still, I can’t imagine being so young and not having your parents around.”

  “I was young when my mom died,” I say. “I don’t remember her very well, but I remember how much she loved me. I knew she would have done anything for me.”

  “What about your Dad?” he asks softly.

  “My relationship with my father was complicated,” I say. “He loved me, but my mom’s passing was very hard on him. He slipped into a depression after she died and everything changed. He started drinking a lot, and it went on for years.”

  I don’t know why I’m telling him all of this, but it feels good to get it off my chest. The conversation Alanna and I had today is weighing heavily on my mind. The possibility of staying is a fantasy I can entertain, at least for tonight.

  “And then he stopped drinking?” Gabriel prods me on.

  “One day he did,” I say, recalling it clearly in my memory. “Everything changed, just like that. Dad came home, and he was so happy. He was smiling. I hadn’t seen him smile in so long. And he kept smiling after that, for a couple months. Then he introduced me to Eleanore.”

  “Eleanore?”

  “Yes, Dad brought home Eleanore. She was my step mom.”

  “Oh,” Gabriel says, surprised. “Did you get along with her? Is she still alive?”

  “No,” I say flatly. “She hated me. And yes, she is still alive.”

  “I see.” He takes in my weary expression, deciding not to pursue that line of questioning.

  “So no brothers or sisters then?”

  “No, just me. Although, I do consider Alanna to be like a sister.”

  “Ah yes.” He nods. “I can tell you two are close. How did you meet?”

  I freeze for a moment, considering whether or not I should tell him this. Alanna doesn’t mind people knowing her story, but it isn’t her I’m embarrassed for. But then I remember him opening up to me about his brother living at the homeless shelter, and I realize he could probably understand more than I give him credit for.

  “You can tell me,” he urges.

  “I met her at a homeless shelter in Texas,” I say nervously.

  Gabriel’s face pales, and I can tell I’ve shocked him. “You were staying in a homeless shelter?”

  “Yes,” I reply lightly, trying to inject some humor into the situation. “At the time I was. Before that, it was tents down by the river. But I’ve moved onto seedy apartments now, so I’m good.”

  “Jesus, Victoria.” He shakes his head. “I had no idea. Is it an issue of money?”

  “No,” I say firmly. “I have money, Gabriel. Even back then, I had money. But I was young and stupid, and couldn’t even find someone who would take it without an ID. So, I started staying in shelters. And that was when I found Alanna. She was beaten pretty badly when she came in, by her husband… the cop.”

  The waiter appears with two piping hot plates of Gnocchi Alla Rosetta, setting them in front of us. I dig in gratefully, thankful for the interruption.

  “I know what you’re doing.” Gabriel smiles slyly as he watches me eat.

  “Eating?” I laugh, my mouth half full of food.

  “No, you’re shutting me out again. But someday I want to hear the rest okay?”

  I nod in annoyance. It seems nothing gets past Gabriel Maddox. But I manage to steer the conversation back to his prospective business, and he lights up as he talks about it.

  By the time we leave the restaurant, it’s dark outside. I can’t believe we just talked for two whole hours. It feels nice and comforting to share a small part of me with him. As we walk back to the apartment, he puts his arm around my shoulders, warming me just like I imagined.

  We walk slowly as we continue our conversation, too caught up to notice anything else around us. I’m laughing at something Gabriel said when I see a flash of sudden movement from behind. Before I even realize what’s happening, I hear a large thud and Gabriel falls to the ground. Fear seizes me as two men tower over him, screaming at him to hand over his valuables.

  He seems to be barely coherent, but somehow in the chaos, I hear him telling me to run. I can’t move, and I don’t want to. I refuse to leave him. I’m frantic trying to figure out what to do when they begin kicking him in the sides. Adrenaline surges through my body as I pounce, punching and kicking as I scream at them to leave him alone. I get in a couple of good punches before one of the men turns, revealing a switchblade in his hand. He grabs me by the hair and pushes me up against the wall behind me.

  “Well, aren’t you just a little firecracker.” He laughs darkly.

  I try to wriggle away from him, but he presses the knife deeper into my skin.

  “Move one inch and I’ll slit your fucking throat bitch.”

  “Get off!” I scream.

  I hear scuffling coming from where Gabriel was, but I can’t see him. Tears are streaming down my face as I plead with the man to let him go.

  “Shut up, bitch!” the man hisses into my ear. He’s holding me with an iron-clad grip, and a small trickle of blood runs down my neck from where he’s cut me.

  Then, from the corner of my eye, I see him. Gabriel. Rising up from the ground like something out of a horror movie. His head is bloody and his blue shirt is ripped. His jaw is clenched as he stomps towards me, the other man’s body slumped on the ground behind him.

  I squeeze my eyes shut as he rips the man off me, throwing him like a ragdoll to the ground. The man whimpers in pain as Gabriel lunges on top of him, pummeling him relentlessly with his fists. He’s long past unconscious at this point, but Gabriel isn’t stopping.

  “Gabriel!” I scream from behind him, but he doesn’t seem to be hearing me. I walk cautiously into his line of sight, yelling again. “Gabriel! Stop, please. You’re going to kill him.”

  My voice finally seems to register. He glances up at me, his eyes blazing, and in one swift movement, he pounces. His hands grip my wais
t, pushing me back against the wall. His eyes burn intensely in the soft glow of the street lamp with an emotion I don’t recognize.

  His jaw is still clenched, his chest heaving with angry breaths. I don’t dare move as he leans into me, kissing me roughly. He sucks and bites at my lips until I taste some of my own blood on my tongue. And then he pulls back, giving me a heated stare.

  “Mine,” he growls.

  I have no idea what’s come over him, but he looks as though he’s in physical pain. He’s panting hard and fast, his eyes searching my face desperately. I can’t be sure if it’s the cut on his head or what almost happened to me.

  “Yes, Gabriel.” I stroke his mussed hair away from his face.

  “Say it!” he commands.

  “I’m yours,” I whimper. “Only yours, Gabriel.”

  He closes his eyes and presses his forehead to mine. I inhale the familiar comforting scents of Bergamot and Sandalwood that I’ve come to love. And then he pulls away from me, running his finger along the cut on my neck. As he leans closer, I see the bloody knot on the back of his head.

  “Are you ok?” he asks, concern marring his brow.

  “Gabriel!” I admonish. “I’m not the one bleeding from the head. We need to get you to a hospital!”

  He shakes his head, his eyes still blazing. “No, I’m taking you home.” And before I can protest further, he bends to scoop me up in his arms. As volatile as he is right now I decide not to argue. He carries me all the way back to my apartment, not even bothering to call the cops.

  Once we’re inside, he carries me to the bathroom. Without saying a word, he sets me down on the counter and turns on the shower. He undresses me first, inspecting my body with careful precision, cringing at the bruises on my arms. But it’s the blood on my neck that really sets him off.

  “Dammit, Victoria, when I tell you to do something, you fucking do it!”

  I cross my arms and shoot back an angry glare.

  “I’m not a kid, Gabriel. You don’t get to talk to me like that.”

  And then, to my surprise, he leans in and closes his arms around me tightly.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers in my ear. “I wanted to fucking kill them. Seeing his hands all over you like that, hurting you, it nearly sent me over the edge.”

  I relax into him and my anger disappears. “I’m sorry too, Gabriel. I was so scared for you, I couldn’t think straight.”

  I choke up at the memory, and the tears come unbidden down my cheeks as I continue.

  “I took you there. It was my idea to walk, and if we hadn’t done that, this never would have happened. I just wanted to protect you.”

  He pulls back and cups my face in his hands, wiping away my tears in the process. “It’s my job to protect you, sweetheart. And it’s not your fault, I should have known better than to walk in this neighborhood at night.” He pauses for a moment to search my eyes. “That’s why I don’t fucking like you living here.”

  I look down at the floor, ashamed with myself. It doesn’t matter what he says, I put his life in danger tonight. I can’t believe how stupid I was.

  “And I hate to break it to you, little one,” he teases, “but you’ve got no street smarts. If you hadn’t tried to attack them, they probably would have just let you go. I could have given them the money and saved us both a whole lot of heartache.”

  I look up at him defiantly. “I would never leave you in that kind of situation to fend for yourself, Gabriel. They were hurting you.”

  He smiles at my protectiveness and kisses me softly on the nose as he lifts me off the counter.

  “C’mon Rocky, I want to wash this night off of you.”

  In the shower, I lather my hands and gently clean the cut on Gabriel’s head. I massage his body as I wash him, stopping to kiss his chest and back during the process. When I’m done, he gives me the same treatment, careful not to hurt me. The bruises are much more visible now, and he grunts as he traces soft circles over them.

  Once we’re both clean, he dries me off with a towel and carries me into my bedroom. There’s no question about him staying tonight, and I feel happy that I don’t even have to ask.

  He pulls me close to him and kisses me without any roughness this time. My skin heats to his touch, the longing between my legs returning. I kiss him everywhere I can reach, the thought of almost losing him a powerful new aphrodisiac.

  But he pulls away abruptly, shattering my lust induced haze.

  “Victoria, you were just attacked,” he says sternly.

  “I’m fine,” I whisper. “I want you… more than anything else in this world, I want you.” I know how desperate and breathy my words sound, but I don’t care.

  He stares down into my eyes for a few moments and then leans in to kiss me again. His hands find my breasts, and I arch into him, silently begging for more. To my surprise, he picks me up and places me on top of him, straddling his massive erection. I don’t argue. I reach greedily for his cock, pushing him inside me as I moan with pleasure.

  I want to tell him how I feel. The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. But I’m afraid, so I show him what I can’t say. I rock my hips back and forth while I place soft kisses along his chest, worshipping his body.

  He thrusts into me slowly, gently. Nothing like the sex we had at the office today. It’s sweet and tender. He takes his time, making sure my needs are met before he finds his own release. And then he rolls me to my side, wrapping his arms around me as we both fall asleep.

  Chapter Eight

  Victoria

  I wake to blazing heat, a thick cloud of smoke all around me. The temperature is overwhelming, and my skin feels as though it’s melting right off my body. I try to sit up, but my head protests and my vision blurs. I put my hand in my hair and feel blood. So much blood. I scream out for someone to rescue me. But there is nobody. I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever felt, and I realize I have to get myself out. But as I crawl, my lungs fill with acidic smoke. I feel as if I’m suffocating….

  “Victoria!”

  Screams in the distance. Are they coming to rescue me? I still as the fire rages behind me, engulfing everything I’ve ever known along with it.

  “Victoria, wake up dammit!” I kick in protest. Someone is dragging me back into the fire.

  Shaking. My body is shaking. My eyes fly open and I gasp for air. Gabriel is standing above me, angry. It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare...

  “What the fuck was that?” he growls.

  I shake my head. “Not now, Gabriel. Please.”

  Anger flashes through his eyes, and he takes a calming breath before speaking again.

  “Victoria, I’m worried about you… I’ve never seen anything like that. Please tell me what that was about. I can’t stand that you’re hiding all these secrets from me.”

  I curl my head into my knees and take a breath. He’s right, it isn’t fair to him. But I’ve been doing it for so long, I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to pick and choose what to tell him. And I don’t really trust myself not to break down and confess everything like I almost did tonight. But I know that if we continue on like this, he will resent me for it.

  “Sit down, please.” I pat the space on the bed next to me.

  Gabriel does as I ask, rubbing his hand along my back for reassurance as I steady my breath. “When I was sixteen, I almost died in a house fire. My childhood home burned to the ground, and I barely made it out in time. I have nightmares about it sometimes, and I’m sorry that you had to see it.”

  He takes a deep breath, watching me carefully. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I don’t exactly know, I was unconscious when the fire started.”

  It isn’t really a lie, I was actually unconscious. I still have no idea how Eleanore started the fire.

  Gabriel narrows his eyes, not buying my words for a second. “In other words, you mean you know, but you won’t tell me any more.”

  He’s clearly frustrated with me, a
nd I hate myself for it. “Gabriel, I’m sorry. There are just some things I can’t tell you. It’s not because I don’t want to, you have to believe that. It’s for your own protection. It’s just not safe for me to tell anybody.”

  His jaw tenses, and I close my eyes waiting for him to erupt. I’m sure this is going to be it. He couldn’t possibly want to be with me when I refuse to tell him the truth. But after a moment his hands are on my face again, gently cupping my chin.

  “Look at me,” he whispers.

  I open my eyes and his face relaxes, along with my own.

  “Look, Victoria, I don’t know what happened in your past, but I want to. I can see you aren’t ready to tell me yet, and I don’t like it, but I accept it for now. I just hope that someday soon you’ll realize you can trust me.”

  “I do trust you.” My voice cracks as I shake my head. “Please don’t think that I don’t.”

  “Shhh, baby.” He pulls me back down onto his chest. “Let’s go to sleep now and only have good dreams okay?”

  ***

  The next morning, Gabriel’s spot on the bed is empty. I roll over and feel a sharp sting of pain on my arm. When I look down, I find the bruises have worsened while I slept. So much for trying to forget the events of last night.

  I sit up and swing my feet over the edge of the mattress, standing up like a zombie. I need to find Gabriel.

  When I open my bedroom door, I can hear Alanna talking to someone in the kitchen as I shuffle down the hall.

  Gabriel is leaning up against the counter, waiting for a pot of coffee to brew. Alanna is sitting at the kitchen table talking his ear off about Nathan. They both turn and look at me as I approach.

  “What the hell!” Alanna shoots up and stomps across the kitchen, grabbing me by the arm to inspect my bruise.

  “Who did this to you?” she demands.

  “Alanna.” I shake her hand off my arm. “I’m fine. It’s Gabriel I was worried about, look at his head. We were attacked last night, walking home from dinner.”