Only the Positive (Only You Book 1)

by Elle Thorpe

  “Two Moscatos, please,” the woman ordered. Her hair fell in curls around her shoulders, and her fancy black dress was cut deep enough for me to enjoy her perky cleavage.

  I grinned at her. “You got it.” I threw in a wink for good measure, because I knew it would make her blush. I was right. She giggled, stuffing a ten-dollar note into my tip jar. I handed her the wine, letting my fingers brush hers. “Enjoy those.”

  She nodded, turning away, and handed a glass to her waiting friend. They whispered to each other, the woman glancing back at me over her shoulder. I’d already lost interest, though, and moved on to the next woman in line. Fuck, I loved my job. It was a revolving door of opportunities.

  Reese appeared next to me and opened one of the beer taps, letting the amber liquid run into her waiting glass. “You’re extra popular today,” she said with a glance down my line. She was right. We’d only opened ten minutes ago, and I had at least a dozen people waiting already. “Got your sights on anyone yet?”

  You. I almost said it out loud, but I was trying to behave. Reese had only started at the bar a few days ago, and I’d promised myself I’d be on my best behaviour. Except her long dark hair, deep brown eyes, and curves in all the right places didn’t make it easy. But still, I shouldn’t go there. I’d slept with the last bartender right before she quit, leaving all of us to work extra shifts until we could find a replacement. I owed it to the team to keep Reese around. Next week was one of the busiest on the calendar with the official kick off of the Spring Carnival, so I needed to hang onto her. The others would kill me if they were run off their feet because we were a bartender down again. They all seemed to like her. She fit in well and worked hard.

  I shrugged at Reese. “Not yet, but it’s still early.”

  She nodded, setting another beer down on a tray. “How’d you go the other night, anyway? Anything happen with that blond guy hanging around after shift?”

  I laughed. “Are you asking as a mate? Or because you’re a tiny bit jealous?” I hoped it was the latter.

  She rolled her eyes as she pushed a tray of beers across the bar top. “One—we aren’t mates. We’ve worked together for three whole days. And two—come on now, we both know I could have you if I wanted. What do I have to be jealous of?”

  I grinned. Well, damn if she couldn’t read me like a book. My interest had been hovering around a seven, but with the way she kept giving it back to me, it had jumped to an eleven. I enjoyed our little back and forths, and I loved how she wasn’t afraid to put me in my place.

  “So? How’d you go? You spent all shift flirting with that guy. I’m just wondering if you managed to seal the deal.”

  I wriggled my eyebrows at her.

  “Good for you.” A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Did you tell him you’d be back here next shift flirting it up with someone new?”

  I nodded. “I told him upfront how it is. Always do. You learn to recognise who’s up for it and who isn’t. But I make it worth their while.”

  That earned me another eye roll, which I deserved.

  “Yeah, I bet you do.”

  “You could always find out personally, you know. Offer’s on the table any time you want it.”

  Her hand stilled on the beer tap.

  I looked over at her, surprised. My pulse picked up. Was she considering it? I’d been joking, but if she was interested, I sure as hell wouldn’t knock her back. I’d quit flirting with every man and woman in the room right now.

  “I’ll let you know if I’m ever that desperate.” She flashed me that smile I was beginning to obsess over.

  “Harsh, Reese. Harsh.”

  “I’m sure you’ll live,” Reese dead-panned. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and made her way to the other side of the bar to serve a group of guys who’d been trying to get her attention for a while now. As she walked away, I watched the gentle sway of her ass longer than I should have.

  We’d been flirting like this ever since her first shift. But pretty new bartenders had gotten me in trouble before, and there were plenty of other prospects here. Working at the racetrack had to be the easiest way to get laid. I had hot guys and sexy women to flirt with all day, as they drank and had a good time watching the horse races. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. I needed to leave Reese alone.

  Turning to my next customer, I stifled a groan as I recognised his handsome face. I’d woken up next to that face just a few days ago. My good mood vanished. “Are you here to see me?” I dropped my voice, so I wouldn’t draw attention to us. He nodded, giving me a tight smile.

  Annoyance rose within me, but I tried to tamp it down. “Why? Didn’t you hear what I said the other night?”

  “I’m just here to talk.” He bit his lip as he drummed his fingers on the bar top. “We need to talk.”

  I sighed. I hadn’t picked him as a cling-on. Great. This was the exact scene I tried so hard to avoid. “No, we don’t. We had fun, Mason, but that’s it.”

  He shook his head, thrusting his fingers through his short blond hair. “It’s not like that. Low, listen, I need to talk to you; it’s important.”

  I leant in closer. “You knew how it was before we went back to your place. I’m sorry if you’re having one-night-stand regret now, but I’m at work. I can’t do this right now.”

  Mason’s mouth dropped open a little, and guilt flooded me, settling uncomfortably in my stomach. I knew I was being harsh, but I’d learnt from past mistakes it was better to cut the clingy ones off before they could begin. It was awkward for everyone involved otherwise.

  Anger distorted Mason’s handsome, boy-next-door features into someone different. He shook his head. “You’re an asshole, Low.”

  He stalked to the door of the racecourse, yanking it open and letting it swing behind him. I watched him go for a second before turning back to my next customer. He was right. I was.

  3

  Reese

  “Bianca, you’re staring at them.” I kept my voice low as I nudged her with my elbow.

  She snapped her head back around and took a step closer, lowering her voice. “What do you think that was all about? It looked seriously heated.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know, but it isn’t our business and it’s bad enough all the customers are staring. Don’t make it worse.”

  She pouted but went back to serving anyway. Taking my own advice, I turned away. It was hard to stop myself from shooting little glances at Low from the corner of my eye, though.

  I’d recognised the guy Low was arguing with. He’d been the one Low had gone home with after my first shift. Part of me was amused that Low had had to face his one-night stand in the cold hard light of day. It wouldn’t kill him to be a little less cavalier about his conquests. But I did feel an ounce of pity for him too. It hadn’t happened yet, thank God, but it very easily could have been me, standing in his shoes. Low seemed to recover well, though, and had gone straight back to his next customer in line.

  My phone buzzed in the pocket of my apron. I fought the urge to pull it out and cancel the call. It would stop in a minute if I ignored it. I just had to wait. After a moment it went still, as the call rang out. I had no voicemail for them to leave a message and I breathed a little sigh of relief.

  The buzzing started up again and my heart sank. My phone had been doing this for three days now. Ringing every hour or two, the same familiar, landline number flashing up on the screen. I should have turned it off instead of just ignoring it, but something always stopped me from hitting the power button.

  I knew who was on the other end and a big part of me longed to answer it. Every time it rang, a rush of memories cascaded over me. And every time I pushed them down, burying them where they couldn’t hurt me. I’d cancel his call before the fear and shame overtook me.

  I’d been an idiot to ring him. I’d never thought for a second he might try to return my call. I’d assumed he’d think it was a wrong number and leave it at that. I’d been so in the
moment of the race, I hadn’t even thought to turn off my caller ID. But now it was all I could think about. A whole different time and years of memories. A different life. Happiness and love and family. But in the next instant, the last time I’d seen him replayed in my head. The tears. The yelling. The hospital and the doctors. I’d spent a year blocking out those memories, turning to alcohol and sex when they became too much. Work and flirting with Low had been my only distraction for the past three days. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t sleeping, spending every night staring at the ceiling, half of me hoping the phone would ring, the other half praying it wouldn’t. I was tired. So damn tired, both mentally and physically. I needed something more than a mild distraction. I needed to just switch off completely.

  It’d been weeks since I’d been with anyone, which was a long drought for me these days. I needed a drink, and I needed to get laid. I needed someone else’s hands to focus on. A night to lose myself in someone else’s touch, so I could forget my own problems. From experience, I knew going out for a few drinks and finding someone to take home for the night was about as much relief from my memories as I’d ever get.

  I glanced at Low again. I could spend the rest of this shift taking a leaf out of his book, flirting, and maybe finding someone who’d want to go out for a drink afterwards. Or I could save both Low and myself the hassle. We wanted the same thing after all.

  “Now who’s staring at him?” Bianca said behind me, startling me out of my thoughts.

  “Was I?” I cringed. Of course I’d been staring.

  Heat rose in my cheeks as Bianca smiled, looking like the cat that got the cream.

  “You two have been mentally undressing each other all week.”

  “What? We have not.”

  “Fine, maybe not, but there’s something between you for sure. I’m getting burnt from the residual heat coming off the two of you. I think you’re crushing on him.”

  “Who has a crush on me?” Low called from his side of the bar. He’d cleared his back log of gushing fans. I groaned. This wasn’t the way I’d envisioned this going.

  “I can’t take you home, remember, Reese. Gotta respect the policy. So if it’s you, I’m sorry, but I’m unavailable.” His smirk was blatant, and I knew he didn’t mean a word he said.

  “Lucky for you,” I quipped straight back, “because it’d be awful to see you crying at work when I didn’t call you the next day.” Despite my desire to get laid tonight, I couldn’t let his cocky attitude go unchecked. But it was a half-hearted rebuke.

  Bianca choked on a laugh, busying herself at the till as a slow, almost predatory smile spread across Low’s face. The tension between us took on a subtle change. I knew he’d heard my conversation with Bianca, when his gaze became heated. He’d never been even close to professional with me, but it seemed now some invisible barrier between us had disintegrated.

  He took three long steps, stopping just a few inches from me. His finger ran down the side of my face and circled beneath my chin, tilting it up so our gazes collided again. That tangible tension between us came to life like it had been electrified.

  “That sounds like a challenge, pretty girl.” His eyes raked over my face and dropped to my lips. I ran my tongue over them. Deliberately. I needed this. I needed to make tonight happen.

  The heat in his eyes intensified, and it was satisfying to see. I smiled as I leant towards him, my hand gentle on his bicep. “No challenge.” I wasn’t interested in playing hard to get anymore. I wanted him to know I was up for it as much as he was.

  He moved closer and when he whispered, “Good to know” in my ear, I knew he’d understood my meaning. I ducked my head, a little smile playing at the corners of my mouth. Yeah, we were on the same page.

  Riley dumped a load of clean glasses onto the bar behind me, and they clinked together in protest. “If you two are going to eye fuck, can you at least do it away from where I need to load the glasses? They’re heavy, you know.”

  Low winked and moved back to his side of the bar where more than one woman was giving me a death look. I smiled sweetly at them.

  There were a couple of men who flirted with me throughout the rest of the afternoon, and I smiled back but kept it professional. Low shot me looks from the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn’t looking and a little thrill skittered through me with every glance.

  My phone buzzed again in my pocket, and this time, I pulled it out and turned it off. I felt sick as I held down the off button, shutting down my only remaining link to my past. Maybe he’d stop calling now. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted that or not.

  The last race was at 5:00 p.m., and the crowd dispersed soon after. The women took off their high heels and carried them as they walked barefoot to the parking area. Men loosened their ties and slung suit jackets over their shoulders. Jamison decided I needed to know how to balance the till for the next day’s trading, and we left Low to break it to his crowd of women that the bar was closing. We were cutting off their alcohol source, and some of them weren’t taking that too well.

  Bianca and I restocked the bar while laughing to ourselves over the tipsy whining of Low’s harem. There was a lot of “Come on, just one more drink,” and “Why don’t you come out with us after your shift?” A part of me almost envied those women. At eighteen, I’d been much too innocent and lacking in confidence to be so forward with a random bartender, no matter how gorgeous and charming he was. I wouldn’t have been able to speak under Low’s intense gaze.

  Oh, how times changed. I hadn’t been that girl in over a year now. She was so far in my rear-view mirror I could no longer see her.

  I missed her sometimes, though. I’d had a family once. And a future. They should have been memories that made me smile. But instead, I did everything in my power not to think about the past. Because every time I did, the gut-wrenching pain and loathing followed, threatening to overwhelm me. I could never go back to being her. I didn’t deserve to be her.

  “Low, if you want to take off, Reese and I have this covered,” Bianca announced, inciting a cheer from the girls trying to convince Low to come out with them. I watched him, eager to hear his response.

  Low shot Bianca a dirty look, to which Bianca replied with a shrug. “He’s never minded any other time I’ve told him to take off with a few girls,” she mumbled under her breath.

  I smirked. I hoped that meant Low was planning to go home with someone else. Like me. I’d already thought about the night of wild sex we’d have. Hours upon hours of not thinking, just using his body as a tonic for mine. I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath. Yeah. I needed to lose myself in somebody else tonight.

  “Sorry, ladies, but the track is closed, and I have work to do. You’re going to have to make your way to the exit now,” Low said, using his professional voice for the first time all day. There were a few last-minute whines before they dragged themselves away from the bar. I saw Low breathe a sigh of relief as he watched them stumble towards the exits. “Bloody hell, thank God for that.”

  “You didn’t want to go partying with them, Low?” I asked, feigning sweet innocence.

  Low shook his head. “Not tonight. Tonight, I have plans.”

  “Oh yeah?” God, I hoped those plans involved me. And his tongue.

  “Mmmm hmmm,” he said, the rumble of his voice deep and low and oh so hot. “But first, we drink.”

  He grabbed a bottle of tequila from the top shelf of the bar and bellowed, “Riley, Jamison, Bianca. Shots on the bar in one minute.”

  “Do you regularly steal the booze and get drunk on shift?” I asked as I looked around the empty racetrack.

  “It’s 6:01 p.m., which means we’re off clock. Plus, it’s not stealing if you pay for it, and I’m buying.” Low lined up five glasses, pouring a shot of tequila into each.

  Taking his cue, I grabbed the little container of cut up lemon wedges from the fridge. Then I grabbed a few salt packages from below the countertop. Riley, Bianca, and Jamison all filed over as
they finished their tidying.

  “Oh Jesus, Low, tequila again?” Bianca groaned. “You know that always ends badly.”

  I guessed that was a yes to them regularly drinking after shift.

  “It’s Reese’s first Friday night at the Lavender, B! That calls for tequila, don’t you think?”

  Bianca looked at me. I shrugged and ripped off the top of a salt package. Bianca sighed in defeat as she ripped open her own salt. I ran my tongue along the back of my hand and poured out the grainy white powder, leaving a trail of salt stuck to my skin. When I looked up, Low was staring at me in fascination.

  I made out like I was looking at my watch, waiting for him to catch up.

  He laughed. “Sassy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was soft, so the others didn’t hear. They weren’t paying us any attention anyway, too busy laughing at Bianca’s hatred for tequila. Low handed out the small glasses of clear liquid, and we formed a circle.

  “To Reese’s first week!” Low said, raising his glass in salute.

  “To finally having a full team and not being run off our feet every shift,” Jamison chimed in.

  “To having someone around who can put Low in his place.”

  Low faked offence when we all laughed. Riley winked at me.

  “To having another woman around to break up all this testosterone.” Bianca reached out and squeezed my arm. I smiled at her.

  A warm glow spread along my skin that had nothing to do with the way I was standing close enough to Low to feel the heat radiating from him. The last few days had been good. I was looking forward to getting to know Riley and Jamison more. I already liked Bianca a lot. And Low, well, I figured I’d know him a lot better by morning.

  My smile was wide as we clinked our little glasses together. I licked the salt from the back of my hand and swallowed the contents of my glass, feeling the liquid burn down my throat. I shoved my piece of lemon in my mouth, which took the edge off.

  Across from me, Bianca’s eyes were watering as she sucked on her lemon. “Ugggghhh,” she groaned. “It never gets better.”