From Your Heart

by Shannyn Schroeder

  “No. But you wanted slow. This isn’t exactly slow.”

  She took a step but made no attempt to touch him, other than where their hands connected. “I wanted time to get reacquainted. Even with our crazy schedules, I think we’ve been doing a pretty good job. We need this. The talking and texting is great, but we need the physical part too. It’ll give us something for when we’re not together. Don’t you think?”

  “Who am I to argue with logic?” He released her hands and began undressing. “Where’s the bed?”

  She laughed and stepped around him. “You might want to hang up your clothes so they’re not all wrinkled. Everyone will know what you did on your lunch break.”

  “Let them all be jealous that I spent my lunch buried in the most beautiful woman around.”

  His words caused more desire to stir through her, and she couldn’t get to the bed fast enough. She walked into her bedroom and opened the curtains to let the sun stream in so they could leave the lights off. She wanted to see him, but wanted the quiet of a dimly lit room. When she turned, he was down to his boxer briefs, a sizable hard-on making its presence known.

  She pulled off her T-shirt and flicked the button on her jeans. He moaned as she lowered the zipper. He tugged her hand, bringing her close, and pushed her jeans over her hips. His hands skimmed her thighs, and he kissed her stomach along the waistband of her panties, which were already damp.

  When he had her jeans at her ankles, he lifted each foot and moved the pants out of the way. Then he pulled her toward the bed. She sat and reached behind her to unclasp her bra. She barely got the straps off her arms before his mouth was on one breast while his fingers toyed with her other nipple.

  “You feel so good,” she said, throwing her head back and thrusting her chest into his touch.

  With an arm around her waist, he angled her more fully onto the mattress. “Lie back,” he whispered, his breath causing goose bumps to rise on her skin. The pillows cradled her head and she watched him kiss his way down her torso. When he reached her panties, he glanced up at her. The look in his eyes was halfway asking permission, halfway warning her she was about to have a great time. That wicked glint got her every time.

  He yanked her underwear off and settled his shoulders between her legs. “I’ve been dying to do this. Still the fastest way for you to come?” He didn’t wait for an answer, licking her once. “I want you to come hard and fast.” Another lick. “The first time.”

  His words were as seductive as his tongue on her sensitive flesh. That he remembered what she enjoyed in bed meant something. Maybe she hadn’t been just a notch on his bedpost.

  He sucked and nibbled on her, driving her insane. “Taste so good,” he murmured against her thigh.

  She bent her legs and widened the space between for him to get comfortable. She was on the edge and he knew it. He used his tongue and lips and then added his hands to make her writhe. Digging her fingers into his hair, against his scalp, she held him in place and thrust her hips to meet his movements.

  Then she was spiraling out. Every muscle tensed and tightened as blinding white lights flashed behind her squeezed-tight eyelids. Her muscles relaxed as she came down, panting, heart still racing. She realized she still had a tight grip on Kevin’s hair.

  Releasing her fingers, she smoothed his hair. “Sorry,” she said on a pant.

  “I’m not. You’re fucking hot when you come.” He crawled up her body, his hard dick prodding her thigh. “All I have to say is this is the best lunch ever.”

  She laughed, even though his self-satisfied grin should’ve irritated her. She reached between them and wrapped her fingers around his dick. His hips flexed and thrust into her grip. She pumped a couple of times, then said, “I can return the favor with my mouth, or would you rather come in my pussy?”

  “Everything. I want it all.”

  She rose up, kissing him as he backed away, tasting herself on his lips. Their positions reversed, with him leaning back on his elbows. He was hard and throbbing against her lips. She loved knowing she had done this to him. She hadn’t even touched him yet, and he was this turned on for her. He made her feel sexy and wanted.

  She licked up and down his shaft and cupped his balls. Then she took him deep. His fist wound in her hair, much like she had done to him, but she knew he wanted to see. He liked watching her take him in.

  “Fuck yeah,” he said. His thighs were bunched muscles of tension as he held tight to his control.

  She had only managed to bob up and down a few times before he released her hair and grabbed her shoulders. Kevin wasn’t a huge guy, but he had the ability to move her entire body like she was nothing. Before she blinked she was splayed out on her back again with his body covering her.

  “I’ll get more of that next time.”

  She smiled. Every time he mentioned the future, she wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe this time was different. “Condom’s in the drawer.” She pointed at the bedside table.

  He opened the drawer and ripped open the wrapper. She watched him roll it on and slowly licked her lips.

  “You’ll pay for that.”

  “What?” she asked innocently.

  “You know what.” He settled between her legs and bent to take a nipple into his mouth. He bit down harder than she anticipated. She sucked in a sharp breath, and he thrust inside her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kevin knew he wouldn’t last long. He’d been doing nothing but jacking off to mental images of Kathy for weeks. And now he had her naked in his arms.

  He sank deep inside her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. She smelled good. Sweet like her flowers. He thought he could die right here, and it would be the perfect way to go.

  But his body demanded that he move, that he pump into her, make her come again, tight on his cock. Propping himself up on one elbow, he hooked the other under her knee, opening her wider so he could go deeper.

  He pumped his hips slowly at first, long strokes to feel every inch of her on him. Her fingers glided along his shoulders in a lazy motion. He wanted her frantic and wild again, so he picked up the pace and kissed her. His tongue mimicked the movement of his cock, sliding in and out. He sucked on her tongue and nibbled on her lips.

  Releasing her leg, he lay so their pelvises touched. His thrusts were shallower, but with each pump, he pressed against her clit. She began chasing him with her hips, seeking release again. He rested his forehead against hers.

  Her brandy-colored eyes looked into his, pleading to make her come, but she didn’t say it. His heart raced because she remembered this game they’d played. It was a cat-and-mouse game of who could outlast the other. He smirked and pressed deep inside of her, grinding a slow circle against her clit with his hips. Her eyes widened, pupils taking over her irises, and she bit her lower lip.

  “All you have to do is say it.” He twisted his hips again.

  Her palm slapped his ass, and she dug her fingers in. “God, yes, fine. You win. Fuck me and make me come already.”

  He chuckled and kissed her. He almost always won this game, but it was so much fun. Then he gave her everything he had until her body clamped down around him and pulled him deep. She bowed and arched under him, pulsing all around his cock, pulling his release from him.

  Her body milked him through a few more thrusts that were punctuated by tender kisses. He held her close, still inside her body, their chests rising and falling in a unison of gasping breaths.

  They lay like that until he could see straight. He rose to dispose of the condom and then returned to her side and wrapped his arms around her.

  She turned her head to face him. “I agree. Best lunch ever.”

  He laughed and kissed her shoulder. If he had any doubts about whether he would fall completely for this woman, it ended here. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

  “Except for the fact that you still want me to beg to be able to come, yeah.”

  His heart did that weird thump ag
ain. “The first orgasm was a freebie.” He sank his teeth into the spot on her shoulder he’d kissed. “Actually, the first two orgasms, if you count the one from the other morning.”

  “So this was payback?”

  He levered himself above her. “No payback. When I’m buried deep inside you, I want you to be fully aware of who’s making you come.”

  “As if I could forget.”

  He cradled her jaw, allowing his thumb to caress her cheek. “I know I’m not the only man to ever share your bed. But when you’re wild with need, I want my name to be the one you’re screaming.”

  “And you kind of like to be in control,” she said, a little cocky in her assuredness.

  “Something wrong with that?”

  “Not if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  “Are you?” he asked.

  She blinked slowly. She’d never complained before, but they were different people now. If she didn’t like what he’d done, she needed to let him know now. His thumb brushed her lower lip and she bit him.

  “Never before you. Never since.”

  Her teeth on his thumb distracted him, and he blinked to refocus. What was she talking about? His brain rewound to his question. Then the pieces fell together. She’d only enjoyed this with him. That weird thump of his heart was replaced by a full stillness he couldn’t explain.

  As if reading his momentary confusion, she added, “Relinquishing control in bed? Only with you.”

  He kissed her tenderly then, stealing her breath because his lungs hadn’t worked on their own. Lying beside her again, he pulled her to his side.

  “Don’t you have to get back to work?” she asked.

  “I have time. How about you?”

  “Anna isn’t expecting me until at least two.”

  They lay in silence for a few minutes. He stroked her arm and thought about them. And her. When he’d gotten to her apartment today, she’d said they had gotten reacquainted, but for all he knew about who she was, there were still many gaps.

  “Why don’t you ever talk about your family?” he asked. She stiffened under his touch, and he had the feeling that he’d just ruined their perfect lunch.

  “Not much to tell.”

  “I know absolutely nothing about them. We talk about mine all the time. You’ve met my entire family. All I know is that you’re an only child. I know nothing about your parents, where they are, if they’re still alive, why they didn’t have more kids.”

  Her fingers brushed his chest hair and then she settled her chin on his chest to look at him. “I’m not sure they planned to have me, so I never asked why I don’t have siblings.”

  “Are you not close to your parents? Is that why you never talk about them?”

  She shrugged, and he knew she wanted to get out of this conversation, but that told him it was one they needed to have.

  “I talk to them. They’re divorced now, so I touch base with each of them every few weeks to check in.”

  Every few weeks? Damn. He spent time with his family at least every week. If he wasn’t with them, he definitely spoke to them.

  “When did they get divorced?”

  “Not until after I went to college. It should’ve been a whole lot sooner.” She turned her head until her cheek was against him. “My childhood wasn’t happy. It wasn’t horrible either. I wasn’t abused or neglected. But I’m also hard-pressed to come up with truly happy memories.”

  He stroked her hair and hoped she’d continue. This was a whole new side to her he never knew existed.

  “My parents didn’t belong together. I love them individually. But together, they were a mess. I wish they would’ve gotten divorced earlier. We all would’ve been better off.” She swallowed, and he felt her throat work. “They stayed together for me, but in doing so they had no idea the damage that caused.”

  “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

  “It’s okay. Years of therapy later, thanks to Moira, I should be able to tell you about it. They were miserable together. They were constantly at odds. Argued about everything, but not in a vicious, nasty way. They both excelled at passive-aggressive jabs. As a young kid, I felt the tension, but I didn’t get it. By the time I was older, I just avoided them altogether. I did everything right, exactly what I was supposed to do so they wouldn’t have to fight about me.”

  “Let me guess. It didn’t work.”

  “Of course not. I was a kid, and I didn’t know their problems weren’t because of me. Another little gem from therapy.” She sighed. “Even now, they’ve been divorced for years, but they still make snotty comments about each other when I talk to them. I can’t be stuck in the middle, so I limit communication for my own sanity.”

  “Have you ever told them to stop?” It seemed silly to say it. He never thought twice about telling anyone in his family when they pissed him off.

  “Not really. I tried once, but it just got ugly. More finger-pointing. I couldn’t stomach it, so I dropped it.”

  Things about her started to click into place. The fact that she hadn’t confronted him when she’d thought he’d cheated on her, the look on her face when he caught her in the hallway at the engagement party—she avoided conflict. Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember a time when she even disagreed with him.

  “So therapy fixed you all up, huh?”

  “I’m working on it.”

  That’s what she’d been referring to when they were at the block party. He was glad he waited to push to get these answers.

  “We never went to therapy,” he admitted. “After my mom was killed, I mean. Or anytime.”

  Kathy looked at him, clearly relieved he switched subjects.

  “We were all so young, it probably didn’t occur to my dad. Not that he would’ve taken us because”—he lowered his voice to imitate his dad—“who needs that malarkey anyway?”

  She smiled. “Kind of scary how well you do that.”

  “I should be good at it. I’ve been listening to that man yell at me my whole life.”

  “Do you wish you had gone to therapy?”

  He shifted his shoulders. “I don’t know. Part of me thinks we wouldn’t be so screwed up.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Jimmy is such a control freak. Part of the reason he didn’t want to fall for Moira was because he knew he couldn’t control her. He needs to keep everyone he cares about safe.” He swallowed the rapidly forming lump in his throat. “Like he couldn’t do for our mom.”

  Kathy’s fingers caressed his pecs and stroked across his shoulders. “What about you? While I know you like to be in control in the bedroom, I don’t see the same intensity in you as I do in Jimmy.”

  He licked his lips. He knew his greatest fear was being left. He’d noticed it first in his younger siblings, the fear of abandonment, long before he recognized it in himself. That fear was why he’d been so angry when Kathy disappeared from his life. But he wasn’t ready to confess that. So he cracked a grin. “I’m the most normal of the bunch. Haven’t you realized that yet?”

  He should’ve known better than to think that would fly. Kathy pushed up off his chest, and he missed the warmth of her body. Scooping her hair behind her, she glared at him. “I offered you complete honesty, and you can’t give me the same?” She shut her mouth, opened it as if to say more, but then just turned and got off the bed.

  Kevin scrambled to the edge of the mattress and caught her arm. “Hey, I make jokes. That’s who I am.” He paused. “I’m not even sure of all the ways I’m fucked up.”

  She turned to face him and said, “But when I asked, something came into your head that you decided not to share.”

  “True.” He swallowed hard again. If he wanted a relationship, a real one, he knew he needed to do the hard stuff. “The thought of being left scares me. First it pisses me off, but I know it’s because I’ll feel empty.” He shook his head. “Now I feel like a total wuss.”

  He stood, still holding her hand
. She stepped close to him, and her perky tits caught his attention. She kissed his cheek.

  “I don’t think you’re a wuss. You did the manly thing and told the truth. Thank you.”

  He wasn’t feeling too manly at the moment, but he’d take whatever he could from her.

  She stroked his cheek. “I promise not to disappear on you again.”

  Grateful that he didn’t have to explain that connection, he watched her walk from the room with her clothes in hand.

  * * *

  Kathy took her time in the bathroom, hoping Kevin wouldn’t follow her. The sex had been amazing, but she’d expected that. Hell, she’d missed that. Everything that came after, though . . . not only had she not expected it, it rattled her. She didn’t talk to anyone about her parents. Moira was about it. With anyone else, she always glossed over it. Past boyfriends just chalked it up to her not being close to her parents and most were relieved they didn’t have to do the meet-the-parents thing.

  Somehow Kevin managed to look beyond any easy answers and pushed for more. She wanted to give him more. She just hadn’t counted on it feeling like this. She wasn’t even sure what this was. A strange combination of anxiety and relief.

  In that brief conversation they’d learned more about each other—the real, deep-down stuff—than they’d learned the entire time they’d been together before. Her plan to take it slow with him backfired in unimaginable ways. She couldn’t figure out if it was a good thing. Her body was thrilled with the outcome of the afternoon. Her heart was still wary.

  She cleaned up and dressed and found her bedroom empty. Kevin’s clothes were gone and she worried that he’d taken off without saying good-bye. Then she shook her head. He wouldn’t do that, especially now that he’d confessed how important a simple good-bye was to him.

  She found him in the kitchen, unwrapping the sandwiches she’d bought for lunch. “I thought you had to leave.”

  “I have a little more time before anyone starts wondering where I am.” He grinned. “We did have a lunch date after all.”

  She sat at her small table across from him at a loss for where to go from here.