Even though Beth made love to Clay in her mind, Jesse didn’t want to take any chances of her making love with him physically. Jesse knew, if that were to happen, it would be out of his control then because he would never be able to take it. She would be lost to him forever.
The following four weeks Jesse didn’t come out of his apartment. He kept both his doors locked—the one leading off from the breezeway and the one opening to the outside. The only light was a dim light from a lamp and the glow from the TV that was right beside his bed. He had the volume turned so low he could barely hear it. Even though his little bungalow was attached to the main house like an apartment, it was far enough away from the main body of the ranch house that no one would hear him moving around, although he hardly did any moving.
Jesse made Cody tell Jordon that he had taken a month off for a personal vacation. He knew Jordon would be mad because he didn’t give him any notice or tell him himself; but, at this moment, Jesse didn’t care. He was in no shape to do anything around the ranch anyway.
Jesse could have opened a veterinarian hospital by now, but he chose, for the time being, to use his knowledge and skills around the ranch. He and Jordon were both making a healthy living the way things were so he had no desire to change anything. This one time Jordon was just going to have to excuse his absence and take the animal problems into town.
He hoped everyone would think he had gone with Beaux somewhere. He told Cody to say, if anyone asked where he was, that he had mentioned going hunting with Beaux. It would be his luck for Beaux to pull up about now, but Beaux had said when he dropped him off that he would be gone for a while on a hunting expedition.
Jesse would only answer Cody’s phone calls. Cody would call let it ring once then call again.
As bad as he felt, he still wanted updates on Beth. Cody told him that he found out from Clay’s cousins that Clay left town to go back home for a while. Jesse hoped the man would stay home and never return.
Jesse found himself in a deep stupor. He drank a lot and ate little. Cody brought him food at night and begged Jesse to come out of this, but he just wasn’t ready. He told Cody everytime he pleaded that he would in a few more days.
When Jesse looked at himself in the mirror, he hardly recognized the man looking back. His beard had grown out for the first time in his life. He had lost weight and his eyes seemed to be permanently bloodshot. Everytime he was sober enough to remember the reason he was drinking, he would start drinking again so he would forget.
Beth went to her bedroom after Clay left that morning and sat on her bed. She was in a state of shock. Tears streamed down her face and she didn’t even know she was crying. Over and over in her mind were the words, “How could I have been wrong…” She sat there and stared into space for about an hour.
Then she slowly returned to rationalism. She shook her head as if to clear out plaguing thoughts. Then she went over everything that happened last night and everything Clay had said this morning. It didn’t take Beth long to know she was not wrong.
She couldn’t explain how Clay happened to have blood on him. Maybe someone came in after she left or maybe he wrapped up sometime during the night in the stained sheet. The reason no longer mattered. Beth was positive she had made love with Jesse. She couldn’t believe she ever doubted it.
She would never mistake Jesse’s scent or the way he felt. She knew most of his body better than he did. She had lived with him and dreamed of him for too many years. At first, when he came in the tent and started rubbing on her, she had been groggy, but she was awake before he took her and wide awake before he was finished. She believed a comatose person would have woken up over that painful experience. Beth remembered every single thing that happened.
Beth got out of bed, walked over to her dresser, and pulled out a folded tissue. She unfolded the tissue and looked at Jesse’s chest hair that she had pulled out last night. She smiled, refolded the tissue, and placed it back it the drawer.
Beth thought about how upset Clay was this morning. Beth really did like Clay and she hoped he would find someone good. He deserved to be happy also. Even with all his cocky airs, he still had a compassionate heart.
Beth left her bedroom to find Susan. She decided to stay here and help her with all the baby stuff.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Cody was glad his babysitting was made easier by Beth’s deciding to stay home and spend so much time with Susan. It gave him time to seek out Stacy.
Cody hated the position Jesse placed him in by making him be the one to tell Jordon he was taking a month off. Jordon was mad. Cody did as he was instructed and told Jordon that Jesse mentioned he wanted to go hunting with Beaux.
“Well, I believe that was very inconsiderate of him. Do you know where they went or how I can get in touch with him?”
Cody felt himself getting deeper and deeper, and it sickened him to lie, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want to betray Jesse, who was in no shape to face Jordon.
“No, sir; but, if I find a way, I’ll tell Jesse you want to speak to him.”
“You do that. Something does not seem right about all this. This does not sound like something Jesse would do.”
“Yes, sir, I know what you mean.”
Beth and Susan shopped everyday she didn’t have class. She was only going three days a week and her classes were easy so she had plenty time to shop. Then, at night, they would work on the nursery. Susan sewed, Beth painted, and Jordon did the building that needed to be done.
The nursery was beautiful by the time they were finished. After they finished the babies’ room, Beth spent her evenings crocheting a baby blanket.
Beth was so excited about the baby or babies. The doctor planned to do an ultrasound on Susan’s next visit to be certain she was having twins. Beth didn’t want to intrude on Susan and Jordon’s special moment, but she sure wanted to be there. She would have loved Jesse to be there also.
She was mad at him for leaving at a time like this. She knew he was mad at her but staying gone a whole month was ridiculous. Everyone was worried about him because it was so out of character. She was worried about him. He didn’t even have the decency to call home one time to let everyone know he was okay. She knew Beaux would take good care of him if something happened, but she still couldn’t help but worry.
Two days later, when she had gone to town with Susan and Jordon, they ran into Beaux. He was coming out of a store they were going into. Jordon was the first to speak.
“Beaux, where the hell is Jesse?”
The look on Beaux’s face told it all. He was immediately as worried as they were.
“Beaux, where is Jesse?” Jordon said more calmly but he was anything but calm.
“Mais Jordon, I don’ know, I jus’ got home last night. I’ve been elk huntin’ for the last four weeks. The last time I saw Jesse was when I dropped him off at his house de night before I lef’.” They all looked at each other with fear in their eyes. Then the three of them turned and ran back to the truck. Susan and Beth were already crying.
“Jordon, where do you think he has been all this time? What has happened to him?” Susan cried.
“I don’t know, Sue. I can only hope we find the answers out soon. You know Cody has to know where he is because he’s the one who told us he was going to be gone. He didn’t say for sure that he went hunting with Beaux. He only said Jesse had mentioned he wanted to. Maybe he went with someone else.”
“Oh, God, I hope so, but this sure is scaring me,” Susan replied.
Beth was so afraid she couldn’t utter a word. If she were responsible for causing Jesse harm, she would never forgive herself. The truck couldn’t go fast enough for them to get back to the ranch and see if they could get some answers.
As soon as they got home, Jordon was out of the truck bellowing for Cody. Cody didn’t have a college class that day so he was home when they drove up. He walked outside like a man going to a guillotine. Beth knew Cody knew something about Jess
e, and that relieved her somewhat. She waited patiently to find out what was going on.
“Yessir?”
“Do you know where Jesse is?”
“Um… yessir,” Cody said with a sigh.
Jordon released an audible breath. “Do you mind telling me where that may be?” There was a long pause before Cody answered and fear began to creep back in.
“Cody, tell me where Jesse is right now!” Jordon said sternly and loudly.
“He’s in his apartment.”
“Apartment?” Jordon cocked his head, and frowned. When Cody slowly nodded, Jordon headed in that direction with Susan and Beth right on his heels.
“Jordon!” Cody said with enough determination in his voice that it made Jordon stop dead in his tracks and wait for him to finish. “You may want to go alone. I’m afraid you’re not going to like what you see.”
At that, they all took off in a panicked run. Jordon knew it was no use trying to hold the women back. They would most likely tear him apart before he could stop them. When they got to Jesse’s door, Jordon banged on it.
“Jesse, open this door. I know you’re in there. If you don’t open it in 30 seconds, I’m going to break it down!”
Just when Jordon was raising his foot to kick the door in, he heard it unlock. They waited for it to open but it did not. Jordon turned the handle and pushed it open. It was so dim inside that it took them a moment for their eyes to focus. The sight they saw horrified them. Jesse was lying on the bed with his arms behind his head.
“To what do I owe the honor of a visit from the three of you?” Jesse said in a drunken, slurred voice.
It was a few moments before any of them could do anything but stare. Jesse was so skinny his eyes were sunk back in his head and his face was covered in a thick beard.
Jordon and Susan rushed over to the bed. Beth couldn’t move, couldn’t breath; all she could do was stare. It was as if she was in a nightmare and was trying to wake up. She just couldn’t believe her beloved Jesse was the same man who was lying in that bed. He looked so ill, almost as if he was going to die any minute.
“Jesse, what in heaven’s name is going on?” Jordon said in misery as he knelt beside the bed and took his brother’s hand. “Susan, call an ambulance.” Susan got up to call the ambulance when Jesse spoke. “Jordon, I will not be going to a hospital. I’ll be fine. I just went on a little drinking binge.”
“Little, my ass, it looks like you had nothing to eat or drink but alcohol for a month! You will go where I tell you to go, boy!”
“No, no, no, I’m okay. If you want, you can help me into the bathroom so I can take a shower.”
Then Jesse looked into Susan’s crying eyes and knew he had worried them awfully. “Sue, if you would be so kind to fix me something light to eat.” Susan was out the door and running to her kitchen before another word was uttered.
Beth didn’t know what she should do. “Jordon, what can I do to help?” Beth asked in a timid voice.
It was then that Jesse made eye contact with her. It was as if something energized went through the two of them. Beth could see love and hurt in Jesse’s eyes. At that moment Beth despised herself for pretending it was Clay who she had made love with. If Jesse made it through this, she would never deceive him again.
“Beth, can you find something for him to wear when he gets out of the shower?”
“Yessir,” Beth answered as she went to his dresser to find his favorite T-shirt and jeans. Beth laid them and a pair of boxers on the bed then went into the kitchen to help Susan.
Cody was in the kitchen when she got there, but there was no blame she could lay on him because she had more than enough blame laying on her own shoulders. He looked as miserable as the rest of them, even more so if that was possible.
“I tried to get him to stop,” Cody whispered to Beth and Susan with tears in his eyes.
Both of them left what they were doing, went to Cody, and embraced him. They were all holding each other crying when Jordon and Jesse walked into the kitchen. Jordon had to help him because he was so weak. He led Jesse over to the chair and eased him into the seat. Susan walked over and placed a hot bowl of chicken soup in front of him.
“Is this okay? I’ll fix you anything you want.”
“No, ma’am, this is just fine but don’t feel bad if I can’t eat much.” This brought new tears to everyone’s eyes including Jordon’s. “Just eat as much as you can.
You’ve lost quite a bit of weight,” Jordon said softly.
“Well, I needed to lose a few pounds,” Jesse said.
No one said anything.
Beth was thinking he was perfect the way he was and that he didn’t need to change a thing about himself. There was not a more gorgeous creature alive than Jesse. He still had a beard.
Beth assumed he was most likely too weak to endure Jordon shaving it off. After she studied him awhile, she thought it looked good on him; but, then again, he would look good any way.
“I like your beard,” She couldn’t believe she spoke her thoughts out loud. They had hardly said anything to each other since the night at her apartment. They had only spoken the few times he made her talk to him when he talked to her in front of Susan and Jordon. And now her first words to him were, “I like your beard.” How stupid could she get? He probably hated her right now.
“Why, thank you, Miss Elizabeth. How have you been? If I’m not mistaken, you have a birthday coming up in a few days.”
“Yeah, I’ll be sweet 20. And I’ve been doing well. Susan and I have been busy shopping and fixing up the babies’ room.”
“Well, you haven’t been doing all that great, Beth. You haven’t felt good the last few days,” Susan said to Beth.
“Yeah, I know, I don’t know what’s been wrong with me. I hope it isn’t a virus I caught and could give to you. I feel much better now. Hopefully whatever it was is gone.” Beth wasn’t at all worried about herself. She was just trying to fill in the space while Jesse ate. She knew everyone in the room was watching every bite he took and hoping he would take one more.
“Is that right? What have been your symptoms?” Jesse asked as he continued to eat.
“Oh, goodness, nothing to make a big deal about. I haven’t even been sick, just a little nauseated, a few days.”
“I see…”
Beth hated when Jesse said those words. Why in the world would he be suspicious about a little nausea? Then, like a bolt of lightning, a thought came to her. And her eyes almost bulged out of her head. “Oh no, there’s no way, nooo way. There is no way it could have happened in only one time when it took Jordon and Susan 16 years.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. When she focused again, it was to see Jesse staring at her over his glass of juice.
“Beth, are you okay? You looked like you saw a ghost,” Susan said.
“Yes, I’m fine,” Beth laughed a little. “I just had a moment of insanity wash over me. But I’m fine now.”
“I hope so. I can only handle one patient at a time,” Susan said as she came up behind her and gave her a hug.
Beth noticed Jesse never took his eyes off of her. She was feeling mighty uncomfortable right now. She was going to have to look at a calendar and see when she last started.
As if Jesse could read her thoughts, “Beth, why don’t you look at the calendar and tell me what day your birthday is going to be on.”
“I don’t need to look. It is next Tuesday. What cha’ gonna buy me?”
“Well, I don’t know. What would you like?”
“Do you think you’ll be well enough to take me out to dinner?”
“I will do my best to do just that.”
Someone knocking on the door interrupted them. Cody went to open it. He came back with Beaux in tow.
“Well hello, Bon rein, you look a little under de weat’er. You gettin’ an early start on de winter? Maybe I should grow a beard, too; it looks pretty good on you.”
“Well, you know how it is. When a person has th
e looks I do, it’s hard not to look good,” Jesse said with the twinkle back in his eyes.
“I do believe, Boo, someone has been lyin’ to you all your life. You are a deceived man.
Now, if ya’ had my good looks, I would understand dat statement,” Beaux said with a chuckle as he pulled out a chair beside Jesse.
“Beaux, would you like something to eat? Jesse is eating chicken soup but I do have something a little more solid if you would like that instead,” Susan said.
“Yes ma’am. I am hungry but I’ll have a bowl of dat soup. It look delicious.”
“Honey, go ahead and fix me a plate of the leftovers we had last night and I’ll eat with them,” Jordon said.
Cody got out a plate. “Me, too.”
A few minutes later they all were sitting beside Jesse eating, all except Beth, whose nerves were too on edge to even think about eating.
“How about you, Beth, aren’t you going to eat something?” Jesse asked.
“No, it hasn’t been that long since I ate, but I will sit down with y’all and drink a cup of coffee.” Beth fixed a cup and sat in the chair on the other side of Jesse. Just being this close to him gave her goose bumps.
“How are you feeling, Jesse?”
“Much better, thank you. Now, where do you want to go out to eat?”
“There is a seafood place near the mall that I have wanted to go to. Everyone brags about how good it is. It is nothing fancy, but they say the fried crabs are delicious and it’s ‘all you can eat.’ But you don’t have to take me if you don’t feel up to it.”
“Well, if it were today, I wouldn’t be able to; but, being it is still a few days away, I think I’ll be up to it by then.”
Beth looked into his eyes with all the love she felt for him. “That will be great. I have school that day so it will have to be in the evening.”
“Yeah, Beth, what do you want for your birthday?” Jordon asked.
“Umm… how about money?” Beth said with a huge smile.
Jordon couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, if that’s what you want, but you know how you always love to open presents.”
Unbroken Promises Page 22
