Once he’s between my legs, he hooks one knee over his shoulder. “You’re going to like this, Sky,” he vows, before his mouth touches the part of me that needs him desperately.
Every lick, and kiss, and touch, is purposeful and deliberate. Every second drives me into a frenzy. I claw at the sheets, shaking my head from side to side.
“Come for me,” Colton begs, his voice rough as it vibrates against my skin. “I want to feel you come against my mouth again.”
When I do, my orgasm rushes through me so intensely I forget where I am. I call out Colton’s name, and by the time I’ve finished coming down, he’s rolled on a condom and is pushing inside me.
He drives into me slowly, like we have all the time in the world. He’s actually leisurely with his thrusts, and yet he’s bringing me to the brink again. The place he reaches inside me when he moves this way —I’m clutching his back as he brackets his arms on either side of me.
“Skylar.” He says my name in the sexiest way as he falls apart, and I climax with him.
I don’t expect to, and my orgasm hits me abruptly. As it does, I let out a half-cry, half-moan.
“You okay?” Colton’s eyes widen in concern.
I start shaking with giggles. “I’m so embarrassed! That was the weirdest sound!”
He flashes his sexy smile. “As long as you’re okay.”
“I’m amazing.”
“Good.” He kisses me gently. “I could spend hours inside of you, Skylar Rosewood, and it still wouldn’t be enough.”
He shifts onto his side next to me, trailing a finger down my stomach and across my hip. “So. Sky.” His voice is neutral, and I can’t get a read on what he’s thinking.
“Colt.” I kiss his chest. “Something tells me you’re about to push my boundaries again.”
His naughty grin returns from wherever he puts it when he’s sweet. The thing is, I’m just as taken with playful Colton as sweet Colton. The two sides somehow fit on this man.
“What kind of boundaries are we talking?” he says, his breath hot on my cheek.
I lightly smack his shoulder. “Tell me what you were going to say, and quit being bad.”
“Let’s go on a trip together,” he says, taking my breath with the mere suggestion.
I barely get out, “What? Where?”
“To Boulder.”
I stare at him, his expression determined.
“Colorado?”
“Yep.”
“When?”
He takes my hand firmly in his. “Right now. I don’t start training sessions for a couple weeks, and you told me you have all week off. We could start driving to Colorado today, and spend a couple nights at the base of the mountains.”
My jaw must be on the floor somewhere, because Colton reaches over and gently closes my mouth.
I manage a laugh, and he chuckles.
“Um...I’m not sure.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I need a minute to…”
“Decide if I’m worth the risk?” he says lightly, the hurt in his eyes betraying his teasing tone.
I soften. “Colt, no. That’s not what I meant at all.” I can barely get the next words out, but I’m determined to be honest with him. Even if he looks at me differently, I have to keep things real between us. “The thing is, I was going to leave your house at noon, because…”
When I stop speaking, Colton nudges my arm. “Because…”
“I have an appointment,” I say hurriedly. “This afternoon. At one.”
“An appointment? On a Sunday?”
“Yes.” I fiddle with the blanket draped loosely at my waist. “It’s a doctor’s appointment.”
I say the last sentence quietly, but Colton obviously hears it, because he says quickly, “Sky? Are you okay?”
I hear the worry in his tone, and I rush to assuage him. “Uh-huh. I’m fine. It’s just…”
Oh, God. I’ve done so many things that could have scared Colton off since we first met up on the beach, between my penchant for running and how I managed to avoid seeing him in person for weeks. But this is the moment I’m the most worried about, the one where he won’t want to deal with my issues any longer. Just when I was starting to fall for him, hard.
“It’s an appointment with a psychologist. My therapist.” I say the truth with no shame, because I don’t believe working on your mental health is something anyone should be embarrassed about.
After what we went through in my family, my mom, brothers, and I all went to therapy. A lot. Group therapy, family therapy, and individual therapy. My mom became a huge proponent of making sure we all stayed in good mental health; she believes it’s just as important as physical health. Remembering the way my father’s eyes would go blank when he was in one of his rages, as if he disappeared and an evil creature took his place, I have to agree with her.
I am, however, not naïve to the fact that the majority of the population may not be as open on the topic as I am.
But Colton’s shoulders relax. “But you’re not sick? You’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay.” I tilt my head. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m seeing a shrink?”
He searches my face. “It’s none of my business. Of course, if you want to talk about it, I’m happy to hear. I want to hear, if you feel like sharing.”
Trying to focus on him rather than myself, I curl my hand behind his neck and run my fingers through his thick blond hair. “I have fears, sometimes in the form of nightmares, and sometimes I just freak out when I’m in the dark, from when my father attacked my mother. And from when he went after me. Sometimes I blend the memories in my dreams, where I’m my mother being attacked. Most of my trauma stems from when he assaulted her. Which seems strange.”
Colton pushes up onto his elbow and leans his head on his hand. “Maybe because when he went after your mom, you felt like you’d be losing the one parent you could trust to take care of you. That had to be pretty terrifying.”
I chew on my lip. “It was. And what you say makes sense logically. I just wish I didn’t have these fears still floating around in my head. I also detest that he’s out there on the loose. He could be hurting some other woman right now. Or he could be on his way to…”
Colton clenches his jaw, his eyes turning steely blue. “I pray he gets put away before that happens. I’ll help in any way I can. You, your mom—I know you said she has security, but what about you? I could have a system installed in your apartment tomorrow.”
“That’s so sweet, but I’m okay. And yes, my mom has incredible security. My brothers and I researched the best system for her house. She has cameras in literally every corner, and a personal detective on standby. Right now she’s got around-the-clock surveillance. Ben sells security systems, and he’s got friends in good places.”
“Good for him.” Colton nods approvingly.
“So. About your request.” I tug so hard on the blanket I pull a stitch. “Shit.”
“Don’t worry about the blanket.” Colton takes it out of my hands gently. “Tell me what you’re worried about. Because you’re clearly concerned. And not just about making your appointment, which of course you will do. We can leave after you’re finished.”
I force myself to hold the eye contact with him. “Colton, I’m just…I could barely get up the courage to spend the weekend with you in Malibu. The idea of leaving the state together is…” I let out a deep breath and say candidly, “It’s terrifying for me.”
He leans closer until his forehead is pressed to mine. “I know. But that’s why I want to do it, Sky. We have a chance to cut out all the bullshit—our jobs, the city, even the smog, and see what this is between us. Don’t you think we deserve another chance in Boulder, to do the things we never got to do the last time?”
“You mean like fuck?” The word is out before I can stop it.
Colton’s mouth finds mine, and for over a minute, all he does is make love to my mouth. Insistently and hypnotically, until I swear, I could come from his
kiss alone.
“Yes, I mean like fuck,” he says, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “But I also mean more than that. I want to get to know all of you, Sky, and I want you to know all of me. What better place than where it all began?”
I look into his clear blue eyes that have never once lied to me or let me down, and something in me cracks open. I think it’s the concrete walls covering my heart, the protection I put in place as a child, and that I never planned to let any man penetrate. But a long time ago, a teenage boy found his way inside, and I never let him go. And I don’t want to.
“Okay,” I say in a whisper. “I’m in.”
Chapter Fourteen
I leave River and Karma at Colton’s while I go to my therapy appointment. It feels a little too settled, too couply, for me to do that, but it makes zero sense to pack them up and drop them at my apartment, only to return for them in an hour and pack them up again. In fact, I leave my overnight bag at Colton’s, too. Dr. Bradley isn’t too far from my home, so I stop by my apartment beforehand and pack an extra bag of clothes for the week away.
When I walk into the therapist’s building, her receptionist isn’t behind the window. But Dr. Bradley pops out from her private office and waves me inside with a smile.
She’s in her usual chair, her notepad on her lap. Her blue jeans and informal top match her casual approach to sessions, and she gestures to the couch across from her.
I sit down at the edge of the couch and tap my foot awkwardly. I pull my leg up underneath my other one and lean forward, bracing my elbows on my knees.
“How are things?” Dr. Bradley’s smile is warm, her brown eyes interested in my answer.
I stare past her face, and past her blond hair mixed with gray, at the cream-colored wall behind her head. It takes me a minute to answer.
“Things are…different.” I don’t know how else to quantify my recent past. “I met someone. Well, I re-met someone. He and I knew each other for a night when we were teenagers. He was my first crush.” Colton was always more than a simple crush, but I don’t know how else to describe him to a complete stranger.
“I could be mistaken, but I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anyone in a romantic sense in the four years you’ve been coming here.” Dr. Bradley makes this statement as she starts scribbling in her notepad.
“Yes. I’m sure that’s correct. I don’t get crushes.”
“But you have one now.”
I throw up my hands. “Colton and I…it’s so intense. And yet he’s so sweet. I can’t handle something like this.”
“Something like what?”
“Something so real.”
Once the words are out of my mouth, I realize the weight of them.
Dr. Bradley smiles. “Real is supposed to be a good thing.”
“Right.”
“I realize that for you, real often meant the opposite.”
“Yes. That’s a fair assessment.”
“Could that be what’s bothering you now? You’re afraid when something feels good, it’s just a fairytale, and can’t possibly last?”
I twist one lock of red hair around my finger. “He and I barely know each other. I mean, we’ve been talking every night on the phone for the past five and half weeks, which has been so nice, and we went on two casual dates before this weekend. He also helped me find Karma when she ran off. But…”
“It sounds like you’ve actually gotten to know each other quite well. The fact that you took the time to just talk—it says a lot.”
“We love to talk. We also love to kiss.” I laugh. “Everything I do with Colton is better than anything I’ve ever done with any other man. To the nth degree. The strength of my feelings for him isn’t the issue.”
Dr. Bradley raises her pen so it touches her chin. I stare at it distractedly as she asks, “What exactly is the issue, Sky?”
“I’m just scared.” My voice sounds small, and I clear my throat. “I come off like a coward, but I’m working through it.”
“He seems like he’s a man worth doing that for.”
“He is.” I fidget with my foot again. “I’ve been afraid of having one of my freak-outs at night. I even spent the first night I stayed with him in his guest room. And we’re going away together this week, so I’ll be way out of my normal routine.”
She nods. “I know that’s when you’re more likely to have the trauma resurface. Can you bring something familiar along as a touchstone?”
“My cat and dog will be with us.”
“Wonderful. Maybe one or both would be willing to sleep close by?”
I tell her that I’ll do my best, and she smiles.
“But I’m also jumpier than usual, which is saying a lot, I know.” I pause. “My father—they’ve lost sight of him.”
“How so?”
I tell her the story of him leaving the state. “And they are doing everything they can to locate him, but so far—nothing. It has me thinking awful things.”
“Have you talked to Colton about this?”
“I did tell him what was going on. He’s aware of the situation.”
“If you trust him, and it sounds like you do, keep him aware. Not just of what’s going on with your father’s case, but with your feelings, too. The fastest way to end something good is to shut the other person out. And because your relationship is so new, you want to start things out right. Part of that is being as honest as you can be.”
“Right.” I tug at my ponytail. “So you would say Colton and I are in a relationship? Like a real one?”
Dr. Bradley gives me one of those intense, yet blank, stares that bug me. “What do you think? Does it feel like a real relationship to you?”
I don’t know what that even means! “I’m not sure. I don’t exactly have experience sticking around a guy after we’ve…been intimate.”
“Why don’t you try it this time, and see how you feel?”
I’m going to give it one hell of a shot.
* * *
Colton
When Sky returns after her appointment, we eat a late lunch, which Sky claims counts as dinner. My stomach happens to disagree, so I make sandwiches for the road. I have everything packed in record time. I don’t want Sky changing her mind, and the less time I give her to do that, the better.
She lets me pick up Karma and pop her into my SUV, the largest vehicle I own, and the one I’ve decided will be the most comfortable drive through the mountains.
“The SUV is all-wheel drive,” I say to Sky when she points to my sports car. “Plus, with Karma and River, there’s a lot more room in here.”
“Are you sure we’ll be able to find a place in Boulder that takes pets?” she asks me.
“I’m sure.” I don’t tell her I’ve already booked us accommodations, because I want the lodging piece to be a surprise. “You all set?”
She’s got River in her cat carrier, and her travel bag is behind her. “As much as I’ll ever be.”
I pat her ass. “Let’s go.”
I’m so excited for this trip it’s ridiculous. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was this jazzed about anything. To have time alone with Skylar Rosewood, back in the place where I first fell for her, is a fantasy I never even thought had a chance of coming true.
We make good time getting to Vegas, where we stop for gas. Sky feeds Karma and River and, and then we take Karma out for a bathroom break. When we return to the car, we unsuccessfully try to coax River to use the litter box that we’ve placed on the floor of the SUV.
“Right here,” I say, gesturing to the box. “Can you use this?”
River just glares at me, like, “you try peeing in a car, buddy, and then let’s talk.”
She’s not a happy camper, but she stays in her carrier and sleeps for the entire ride.
And how do Sky and I pass the endless hours of car boredom?
That’s simple. We talk. We talk about fucking everything, just like we’ve been doing on the phone. I love talking to h
er. Through our time getting to know each other as adults, I’ve learned I can trust Sky implicitly, and that nothing I say to her will ever be used against me, or—God forbid—sold to the press. I’ve also learned that she’s smart as fuck, funny as hell, and she’s a great listener. I didn’t realize how lonely I was out in L.A. until she walked back into my life. I have Dylan, and my teammates are my comrades in arms, and I thought that was enough.
But Sky’s friendship has filled a hole that’s been there ever since I lost my dad. When he died, I braced myself for loss. Because of that, outside of my job, I haven’t let anyone new into my life. If somebody wasn’t there before his death, they didn’t get a key into my heart.
Until Sky. Although she was there before, and that’s partly what makes this feel so natural. I don’t have to explain anything to her, or justify why I’m closing off or feeling sad, because she gets it. She knew me when I was still innocent, thinking death may happen to other people, but not to someone I love. And because of that, the bond between us feels deeper, and easier, than maybe it would have.
As we drive through Nevada, it’s pitch dark. Sky takes the wheel until we hit Utah, and we’re both so tired we have to pull over at a roadside motel to sleep. We grab takeout at the Mexican restaurant next door, and eat in our room so we can keep Karma and River company.
“This is nice,” I say as we sit next to each other in the full-sized bed. “I’m having fun.”
Sky smiles so wide her eyes light up. “Colt, have you ever stayed at a bare bones motel before?”
“Sure, I have.” I swallow my bite of burrito. “Once. We were stuck in a small town getting our car fixed, and there was nowhere else to stay. My mom was horrified—she was certain she wouldn’t sleep a wink all night.”
Sky laughs. “We all tend to acclimate to what we’re used to. I understand.”
I put my empty plate in the trash and slide down under the covers. Sky follows me, and I reach over to turn out the light. And then it’s just her and me, with Karma on the floor beside Sky’s side of the bed, and River in the chair by the window. Life feels perfect.
Colton Page 15
