His reassuring words are the only soothing I need. “I don’t want to stop,” I say, as the choked-up feeling subsides. “I think I just needed a minute.”
A minute to remember that I’m safe, and that not all men are a threat.
I put my hand on the back of Colton’s neck and urge him closer. “Kiss me again,” I whisper.
His kiss is gentle and tender as he makes love to my mouth. I suck on his bottom lip and I just…feel. I feel Colton moving above me. I feel my own heart pounding in my chest. I help him with the condom, and he takes his time positioning himself at my entrance. He’s so careful I can’t help but smile.
“What is it?” His voice flutters against my neck.
“I won’t break, Colt. You can move.”
“Not until I’m sure you’re ready for me.” His hand reaches between us, and his voice comes out strangled when he touches my moist heat. “Christ, Skylar.”
“I told you.” I urge him forward with my legs. “I’m definitely ready.”
He pushes inside me slowly. Inch by inch, he presses forward until we’re fully connected. Then he stops, and rests his forehead to mine. His breath is unsteady, and his words come out hoarse as he murmurs against my lips, “Shit. Never felt like this before. Skylar. Sweetheart.”
I inhale, struggling to contain my emotions. Tears prick the backs of my eyes, and I clench my teeth at the enormity of the sensation. “Yes. It’s…incredible.”
“For ten years…” Colton’s tone drops. “For ten years I’ve imagined this. And yet, it couldn’t possibly come close to…”
He swallows down the rest, but I know. I know what he’s wanting to say, that nothing we’ve imagined about this moment could have prepared us for the real thing. “I need you, Colton. Please make lo—”
Never have I used that phrase with anybody. Never have I even thought about sex as anything other than an act of temporary physical pleasure, and now I say something so intimate. I can’t believe I just went right ahead and almost embarrassed myself again. Colton’s a professional athlete. He’s no doubt had women in his bed often, and as he insinuated, those relationships were casual and with no strings attached. He and I aren’t in a serious relationship yet, and here I was about to call this lovemaking.
It’s sex, not love, and thank God I cut myself off.
But Colton finishes my sentence for me. “I’ll make love to you, Sky. Because that’s what we’re doing here. You know that, right?” His sharp blue gaze on me completely strips me raw.
“Colton, I don’t know…”
His voice is sure. “I do. Even if you don’t realize it yet, I do. And I’m going to show you right now.”
With that proclamation, he starts to move. Hard and decisively. And oh God, does he know what he’s doing, and how to hit exactly the right spot inside to make me moan and buck up into him, begging for more. Despite his size, he fits perfectly.
We fit together, and as we urge each other closer to the brink, the tight lid I’ve always kept on my emotions gets ripped off. Colton’s cerulean eyes blaze into me, and despite the intensity, I can’t take my gaze off of him. He drives into me harder and more urgently, and still I want more. His mouth goes from my lips to my neck, where he leaves gentle bites, and then he’s on my breasts. When he sucks on my nipples, I feel like I’m going to explode from the reverberating sensation between my thighs. I scream out his name and clench around him as I shatter apart. Colton murmurs, “Skylar” in the gentlest, most erotic tone I’ve ever heard, as he jerks and shudders his release right after.
We hold each other close, him being careful not to put his full weight on me, but staying fused nonetheless.
“You’re beautiful, Skylar,” he whispers in my ear. “You’re everything.”
If any other man had said something like that to me after one bout of sex, I would have laughed him off or ignored him. But this was more than sex that we just shared—it was ten years of what ifs, a jumble of emotional highs and lows, blended together into one mind-blowing experience.
Those four weeks of talking to Colton on the phone were like twenty-eight days of foreplay, where I got to fall for him from a safe distance. I got to learn about Colton, to like him—as a friend, and as a man. And then we went on two very public dates.
And now he’s my lover. After all this time of getting to know each other again as adults, and realizing we still really like—and want—each other, this experience we just shared has brought every shade of color back to my muted gray life.
Sex with Colton Wild is love and light and everything good in this world. I feel like he just gave me a piece of his heart, a part of his soul, and I know I don’t deserve something so pure, but I took it anyway. I’ve had sex enough to know this doesn’t happen with just anyone, if ever. I’ve interacted with enough men to realize that what Colton and I have is special and rare, and if I believed in love, I would probably do something humiliating and tell him the three words I’ve always sworn I wouldn’t utter, a declaration I didn’t think I’d ever be tempted to say to a man. Because I’ve fallen for Colton so hard I can’t ignore the way my heart’s pounding.
But I don’t believe in love. I can’t. So instead of words, I try to show him. I pull his head down for a kiss, and I put my feelings into my lips as they caress his mouth, and his tongue. I want him to know what he just gave me, even if I’m not brave enough to say it.
He shifts to his side and the movement causes us to separate. I almost cry out as he pulls out of me, not wanting to feel the emptiness. He kisses me and says he’ll be right back.
I wipe the tears that have leaked out of my eyes, and try to pull myself together before he returns.
He’s only gone for a few minutes, not long enough for me to erase the emotion from my throat.
“You okay?” Colton slides into bed next to me and brings me close.
I rest my cheek on his chest and nod. “Fine.”
“You sure?” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Because you sound kind of sad. Considering what just happened, I would think sad would be the last thing you’d be feeling.”
I laugh and bury my face in his neck. “That was amazing. It actually sounds pedestrian to say it, because the way it felt to be with you…”
“Look at me, Skylar.”
His tone is quiet, but something about the way he says it makes me start shaking. I shift my head so we’re making eye contact, and he takes my chin in his hand.
“That was the best hour I’ve ever spent. It was like everything I knew before just detonated and my life started fresh. With you.” His eyes sear into mine. “Did it scare you?”
“No,” I say quickly. Far too quickly, and my word catches in my throat. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because your jaw is twitching the way it does when you get nervous, and if I wasn’t holding your face right now, you wouldn’t be able to look at me.”
I sit up and avert my gaze by pretending to search for my tank top. “I’m not nervous.”
But Colton’s hand goes back to my chin and he gently turns my head so that, once again, we’re staring at each other. His face is flushed and his eyes burn bright, with intensity and emotion and…oh my God, is he going to tell me…
“Let’s get takeout for dinner,” he says casually.
I shake my head once. “Wait, what? You go from quizzing me on my emotional state to ‘let’s eat?’”
He gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “That’s right. I know when to change the subject.” He stands up, heading for the hallway buck naked. “I’ll grab the menus. You pick the place.”
I stare at his bare ass as he walks away, and my hands clutch the sheets. I’m so swooning over him right now. I fix our pillows so we can both sit back against them, and wait for him to return.
And he does, with Karma under one arm and a stack of menus in his free hand.
“She was lonely,” he explains as he sets her on the bed.
“You’re a sucker for her
,” I say as I snuggle her into my arms. “Just like I am.”
“I’m a sucker for anything that’s related to you,” he murmurs as he settles in next to me, and pulls the covers up over our waists, so Karma can climb into his lap. “So, what’ll it be?”
I flip through the menus, and hand one back to him.
He grins. “I knew you’d choose this place.”
“Thai food? How come?”
“You told me you love good old-fashioned American food, but if you have to order in, it’s Thai all the way.”
I kiss his bare shoulder. “Do you remember everything I tell you?”
“I want to,” he says with such sincerity I snuggle even closer to him.
* * *
After eating chicken curry and spring rolls in bed, we take Karma down to the beach for a night walk. I’m wearing a loose t-shirt and short black skirt I slipped on after leaving Colton’s bed, and the nighttime breeze is cool on my bare skin. It’s a beautiful moonlight beach walk, but for me, all I see are shadows lurking. After the third time of me looking over my shoulder, Colton turns us back around for his house.
“I’m fine,” I say too quickly.
“You’re not.” His tone is gentle, and he squeezes my hand in his. “And that’s okay. I don’t want you to do something that makes you so clearly uncomfortable.”
“Things didn’t go so well at my house after the sun went down,” I say, amazed the words are coming out of my mouth. I normally never talk about my childhood willingly, and yet here I am again, doing just that. “That’s when my father was at his worst. Especially if he was drunk. He was bad when he watched sports, and those times haunt me, but at night…” I shiver. “I genuinely feared for my mother’s life. And for my own.”
My father could be violent without the bottle, but alcohol increased his mood swings, increased his rage blackouts, increased his propensity to attack.
“I’m sorry, honey. I fucking hate that you grew up scared.”
“That time in my life is over, thank God.” I try to sound breezy, but I know Colton can hear right through to my trauma. “I’ve moved on.”
We’ve reached the gate, and I press the remote opener Colton gave me when we left for the walk. It opens effortlessly, and Karma dashes into the yard ahead of us, pulling at her leash.
Once we’re inside the house, Colton unleashes Karma, and I go about cleaning River’s litter box. I check her food and water, and suddenly she’s next to me, hooking her tail around my leg in a kitty hug.
“You came down off your perch!” I bend down and scoop her into my arms. “I’m so proud of you!”
She lets me carry her down the hall, but when I try to put her on the guest bed in the room where I spent last night, she jumps off and heads straight for Colton’s bedroom.
Colton laughs from behind me. “I think she knows where she should be spending the night.”
I flush, and turn to face him. “I don’t know…”
He crowds me into the wall, his hand on my hip, and I can’t hold back my moan. “Colt…”
“I want you again,” he says into my mouth, right before his lips land hard on mine. “What do you want, Sky?”
He tips his head back, giving me the space to decide.
I respond by reaching up and tugging at the short strands of his blond hair so I can kiss him back.
His hand shifts to my ass, and I loop my arms around his neck. He gives me a boost as I lift myself onto him and wrap my legs around his waist. My skirt rides up my thighs, and Colton’s large erection presses into me. I shift so I can feel him even better.
“Oh, God, Colt.” I practically pant into his mouth. “I fucking love kissing you.”
He takes my bottom lip between his teeth, and then releases it. “Take off your shirt,” he says in a strained tone. “Now.”
Good idea. I frantically pull the shirt over my head, as Colton’s hands support my ass and keep me suspended in his arms. I never put a bra back on after we had sex earlier, and Colton groans as his gaze goes immediately to my bare breasts.
“I want to take you right here, right against this wall,” he says into my ear as his thumb brushes over my aroused nipples.
“Please,” I say, squirming to feel his hard length between my legs. “I need you inside me.”
He unzips his pants, lifts my skirt up to my hips, and pulls aside my underwear. His fingers find my wetness first, as he checks to make sure I’m ready.
And then he’s pushing inside me.
“Colt.” I clutch at his back, desperate for something to ground me. “You feel so…”
He’s inside me bare. And I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. I have never in my entire life felt so turned on, so incredibly good. I don’t think to stop him, or to worry. I just hold on for the ride.
“Sky. Fuck.” Colton’s thrusts are wild and out of control. “I can’t stop. Tell me you’re close. I need you to be close, because…”
“I’m…com-ing.” I release the word as I climax, my lips fused to his.
I feel like I come forever, my body trembling in Colton’s arms. My thighs shake as I start to come down, and Colton slides out of me, still rock hard.
“You didn’t…”
“I can’t.” His face is etched with concentration. “We weren’t using protection. So unless you’re on the pill…”
I bang the back of my head against the wall. “I’m not.”
I’ve never wanted to be. Not before today.
“I’m clean,” he says to me in a serious tone. “I was tested last month. I would never have put you at risk.”
“I’ve been tested, too, and I’m safe,” I say to him.
I kiss his neck, and Colton lets me down to the ground, right before I drop to my knees in front of him.
“Sky.” His hoarse tone is positively gravelly. “Sweetheart. You don’t have to. The condoms are right down the hall…”
My mouth is already on him. He lets out a rough cry, and I lift my eyes to his. He leans his hands on the wall behind me for balance, never taking his eyes off mine. I use my tongue, and my hand, until he’s shaking.
“Christ, Sky.” His breath comes out unevenly. “That feels so good—I’m not going to last.”
I don’t want him to. I want him to go over the edge like I just did. I move my mouth over him harder, and faster, and soon he’s muttering curse words.
“I’m going to come,” he warns me, just before he lets go.
I hold him close to me until he stops trembling, until he pushes off the wall and kneels down to face me. His eyes are liquid with heat.
“Your lips should be illegal. I’ve fantasized about you doing that for ten years. Exactly that.”
“Are you serious?” I ask him. The thought of playing out one of Colton’s fantasies is such a turn-on that I nearly lose my balance.
“Yes, I’m dead serious. You’ve been in my thoughts, and my heart, since I met you. I know it sounds crazy…”
“It doesn’t,” I say quickly. “No one has made me feel even close to the way you did. I was only sixteen years old, but you were the only one who ever did it for me, Colt.”
“Come here.” He scoops me into his arms and carries me into his bedroom, where River and Karma have already made themselves comfortable at the foot of the bed.
He pulls back the covers and crawls in with me, before spooning me, his chest to my back.
“Sleep with me tonight?” His tone is hopeful, but cautious.
“Okay,” I say right away.
“Do you feel safe here?” he asks me. “I don’t want you to do something you’re not ready for.”
I snuggle closer to him, lacing his fingers with mine on my stomach. “I do feel safe.”
Colton reaches over my head to flick out the light. And for the first time in my life, I fall asleep in a man’s arms.
Chapter Thirteen
Colton wakes me up in the best way possible, with gentle kisses down my bare back. He shifts me to f
ace him, but before he can kiss me, I put my hand on his chest.
“I need to brush my teeth,” I say.
He chuckles and tries to grab me back, but I break out of his arms and run to his bathroom. Realizing too late that I don’t have a toothbrush in here, I settle for rinsing with his mouthwash I find in the cabinet.
I’m completely naked, and my hair looks like a bird settled in it during the night. I try to tame it by finger combing the strands, and then I glance at the hickey on my neck. My entire body looks well-loved, and between my red lips and pink cheeks, my expression is the happiest I’ve ever seen it. The momentary thought of my therapy appointment later nearly takes away my calm, but I don’t let it. I push this afternoon out of my mind, and leave the bathroom.
As I walk across the room, I’m well aware of Colton’s eyes on me.
“You’re staring,” I say as I reach him. “Quit staring.”
He grins, his blue eyes mischievous. “I like to stare at you. You’ve got a smoking body.”
I hustle underneath the covers, pulling them up to my chin.
“I’ll follow your lead and go brush,” he says as he heads for the bathroom. Also naked, but a hell of a lot less self-conscious. Athletes have got to be the most confident people on the planet the way they waltz around with no clothes on. If I could take just a smidgeon of that confidence, I’d be thrilled.
Colton’s back under the sheets within minutes, his hands cupping my face.
“So.” His mouth goes to mine. “Where was I?”
I laugh as he tickles my side. “Quit it, Colt. You’re such a troublemaker.”
“I know.” His teeth graze my shoulder, and he makes his way down my body. “I always was.” His lips close around one of my nipples. “Do you like fucking a troublemaker?”
“As long as that troublemaker is you, then yes,” I say as I arch my back.
“I want to make you feel so damn good this morning,” he murmurs as his lips head down my navel, and then further south.
Colton Page 14
