An Unnatural Beanstalk

by Brittany Fichter

  “I would like for you to stay a moment, my harp.”

  Eva bristled. “I’ve told you I hate that name.”

  “Nevertheless, I need for you to stay.”

  “As if I have any choice,” Eva grumbled, walking back down the steps. She followed him back to the dining room, nearly getting hit in the face by the door when he let it fall shut behind him.

  To her relief, Jack was still in the room, helping one of the servants pick up a tray of dishes that seemed to have been dropped. But the moment their eyes met, the duke cleared his throat.

  “I would like everyone else to leave. My beloved—”

  Eva stopped dead in her tracks. “I am not your beloved.”

  “Eva,” he said in a patient tone, “I would appreciate you not speaking to me in that tone in my own house, my harp.”

  Eva stared at him. He couldn’t be serious. “I am going to say this very slowly and very carefully,” she said. “I. Am not. Your blooming harp!”

  He turned back and closed the distance between them. “Eva,” he said in a soft voice, “I love you. I wish you would understand that. I apologize if I have not made this clear before, but I do love you!”

  “And how in the continent would you know that?” She stomped over to the large windows. “I don’t think you would know real love if it bit you on the—”

  “I’ve read so many times,” he held up his hands and looked at them, “that when your palms get sweaty, you must be in love! In the poetry . . . I would not have written that had it not been for my obvious admiration for you, despite some of your physical shortcomings.”

  “That!” Eva threw up her hands. “That is exactly the kind of thing one does not say if one is in love!”

  The duke straightened and tugged on his jacket. “And how would you know what love is or isn’t? It’s not as though you’ve ever taken enough of a chance to know about love. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I decided to love you. You never take risks.”

  That stung more than Eva wanted to admit, but she ground her teeth and did her best to make sure he couldn’t see her pain. “I may not have boys trailing behind me or lining up for my hand on the dance floor, but I know for certain what love isn’t. And it isn’t kidnapping. And it isn’t threatening someone’s family. And it most definitely is not having sweaty palms.” Eva shuddered. “That’s just repugnant.” She crossed her arms in case he decided to take her hand again.

  Instead of trying to take her hand, the duke reached into his coat and pulled out a folded piece of parchment. He handed it to Eva and clasped his hands behind his back.

  “If you read it, you will see that I have not threatened your family in any way.” His eyes brightened a little. “See? Love.”

  For one brief moment, Eva considered crumpling the parchment up and throwing it into the fireplace behind her. Instead, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the parchment. As she began to read, her heart dropped into her stomach, and by the time she was halfway through, her determination to not allow him any emotion crumbled. She gasped and threw a hand over her mouth.

  “I know about your cupbearer,” he said softly.

  Eva could only continue to read the awful parchment in horror.

  “But I’m willing to forgive you for your infidelity once you sign this and Jack is gone. Then we begin anew, and our love will blossom the way it was always meant to.”

  “Infidelity?” Her head was suddenly too fuzzy to make sense of the words. “Gone?”

  “He must be gone by morning.” The duke looked at her patiently. “Now, now, you didn’t think I wouldn’t notice that you two have become somewhat of an odd little couple lately. Or that I was ignorant of his designs?” He chuckled. “He was far too covered in magic residue that first day to have been any sort of servant. Besides, he really is a terrible servant.”

  “Then why did you allow him to stay?” Eva asked, unable to help herself.

  The duke shrugged. “As long as he was here, you weren’t going anywhere.” He pulled a pen from his sleeve. “Now all you need to do is sign.”

  Eva ran a few steps back and held the parchment over the fire just out of reach of the hungry flames. “I’m not signing this.”

  “I would be careful with that. The contract has been spelled, and burning it would only bring its threats to pass.”

  Eva yanked the paper back and clutched it to her chest.

  “As to the question about signing it, I could simply kill him now.”

  Eva’s knees threatened to buckle as the duke came forward and took her hands in his sweaty ones.

  “But really, consider his sendoff a gift. If I didn’t care about your feelings, immoral as they may be, I would have had him killed upon arrival.”

  Eva closed her eyes and took a deep breath, counting until she was in less danger of saying something she regretted that might endanger Jack more. When she was finally able to speak again, she did so in slow, measured tones.

  “What is this about my having to wed on that particular day? That doesn’t even make sense.”

  The duke wagged his finger and gave her a knowing smile. “You may be ignorant in a number of ways, dear harp, but I know enough of your tricks now to know that if you could change our wedding day, you would, and you would do nearly anything to delay it. So if you are not married on that particular day listed, which is precisely a week from today, someone somewhere will die.” He shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure who it would be. The king will be present at the wedding, as will every noble in the land. And lots of commoners, for good will, of course.”

  “You filthy—”

  “Let’s not speak that way to one another now.” He put a finger on her lips. “Look, I’ll even have a horse and carriage prepared to take Jim—”

  “Jack.”

  “That’s what I said. Jake and his family to another place. Astoria, if you would like! But you must convince him to leave, or there’s little else I can do.” The duke held the pen out again. “It really is better for everyone this way. Jake will escape the farm life he never wanted, and you’ll be queen!”

  Eva couldn’t bring herself to respond as she slowly took the pen. Her hand shook as she placed it against the table. Desperately, silently, she racked her brain for any other way. But the more she thought, the more she realized there was none. The scratch of the pen hurt her ears as she signed her name and watched her dreams depart.

  “I’ll give you the night to convince him to go,” the duke called out after her as she fled up the stairs, “but by supper tomorrow, he must be gone.”

  14

  No, but You Will

  Eva trudged back to her room. How was she supposed to tell Jack that he had to leave if she couldn’t tell him the reason why?

  She hadn’t realized just how much she had come to rely on him. Whenever the duke insulted her, the insults didn’t hurt quite as much as they had at first because she knew Jack would be there when the duke left to tell her the cruel words weren’t true. She had remembered how to smile, even on her long, tortuous walks with her captor, because Jack was always a few steps behind, ready to share an amused glance at whatever bizarre attempt at wooing the duke was determined to try next. Jack thought she was brave. He thought she was beautiful.

  And now, she was going to have to break him.

  Perhaps, she thought as she walked into her room and shut the door, she could come up with some other way to get him to leave. Perhaps she should remind him of how much his brothers would need him by now. After all, Mortimer wasn’t exactly the most reliable babysitter, particularly if Jack’s mother showed as little interest in her children as Jack made it sound. And though the duke had made it clear Jack wouldn’t be able to share what he knew, perhaps she could inadvertently send some sort of message to her cousin to send to her family. They must be worried sick by now. She could only imagine Rynn, Sophie, and Martin setting off to find her, insisting that the younger girls (which Martin would insist his twin was, despite being his twi
n) needed to stay home.

  And if it were up to her siblings, they just might find a way to pull off a rescue. Maybe.

  Just maybe.

  Her spirits rose a little as she sat down at her harp to play the evening song. It wasn’t difficult to dredge up feelings of sorrow for the song itself, but when she was finished, she was able to sit down at her desk to write her letter without total panic taking control of her.

  “Eva!” a hissed whisper sounded.

  Eva looked around. But there was no one to be seen. Just an empty room.

  “Eva! The balcony!” the shouted whisper came again.

  Slowly, Eva rose. “Which balcony?”

  There was a pause. “The one on the side of the mountain.”

  She followed the voice to the western balcony that faced the mountain. When she stepped outside, she stopped and looked around.

  “Psst! Behind you!”

  Eva turned to see Jack perched up on the roof. Spread out around him were little bowls of food, as well as teacups, utensils, empty plates, and two goblets.

  “I thought in celebration of surviving the night, as well as finding out where he keeps his beloved Golden Goose ledger, we might as well celebrate.”

  Eva’s heart twisted as he hopped down and held out his hands. Without thinking, she put hers in them, and he twirled her around into a position where they could dance. And as they began swaying from side to side in a slow circle, she closed her eyes and wished with all her heart that this duty hadn’t fallen to her.

  “You’ve never had a suitor before, correct?” Jack asked as they danced. “A serious one, I mean.”

  She could only stare at him miserably and shake her head.

  He nodded sharply. “That’s what I thought. So this should be educational for you as well as celebratory.”

  Curiosity got the better of her. “Why would that be?” she asked.

  “Because you need to know how a real man woos a woman.”

  “A real man?” She couldn’t contain her smile completely.

  “What the duke is trying to do is absolutely not what you should expect from a real man.” He gently took one of her hands and held it up. “For demonstration purposes only.”

  Eva couldn’t help laughing at his solemn expression. “Of course.”

  “When a gentleman wishes to seek your hand, he should do so with flowers or long evening walks . . . properly escorted, of course. Or even with cookies. Kidnapping, however,” he held up a finger and wagged it at her, “is strictly prohibited. Any such fop who attempts to gain your affections in such a manner should be promptly thumped on the head and handed over to the authorities. Not courted.” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you paying attention?”

  Eva nodded, smiling in spite of herself.

  He nodded once to himself and then gestured up to the roof. “And when the courtship proceeds to the point where it is appropriate to have a meal together, again properly chaperoned, it is important to remember that no fellow worth noticing will give you food that makes your mouth itch. And he most definitely will not make you eat it. Still following?”

  Unable to bring herself to the dreaded conversation she knew was coming, Eva decided to play along, even if it meant just a few more moments of fun and then a heartbreak worse than ever to follow.

  “And what should I do if he asks me to dance?” She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him.

  “I’m glad you asked.” He took her hands in his again and placed one of them on his shoulder and the other on his arm. She couldn’t help noticing the calluses on his hands that were absent from the duke’s hands, or the sturdiness of his shoulders beneath the servant’s uniform.

  “When he asks you to dance, and only if he asks you to dance, again as kidnapping should never be tolerated—”

  “Shhh!” Eva laughed softly as she glanced over the edge of the balcony. “Someone might hear you!”

  “No interruptions, please. Now, as I was saying, if someone asks you to dance, you may either accept their offer,” his hands tightened infinitesimally on her waist and fingers, “or you may refuse them and call them whatever sort of names you wish.”

  “What if I don’t want to call them names?”

  “Then there is the chance,” his voice softened and the dancing slowed just slightly, “that he might come under the impression that you don’t completely despise him.”

  Eva’s voice caught in her throat. “Would that be so awful?” she asked breathlessly.

  He leaned down even more until his forehead was touching hers, and she could feel the heat from his breath on her lips. “Not if that’s what you really wanted.”

  As he began to close the distance, however, a light behind him flickered. Eva’s heart stopped. That was the duke’s window. And she was going to get Jack killed if she wasn’t careful.

  “I think . . . I think you need to go,” she whispered, wanting to kick herself as she uttered the words.

  He froze. She could feel him tense up then he slowly let go of her and took a step back.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at the ground. “I . . . I just thought—”

  “I’m going to marry the duke, and there’s nothing we can do about it.” She forced her voice to sound cold. “So we might as well not hurt ourselves even more within necessity.”

  “Wait a minute, now.” He took a step closer again. “Where is this coming from? A few hours ago, you and I were planning your escape.” She could see him frown even in the dim light of the new moon. “Why are you suddenly the pessimist?”

  She turned and took a few steps away so he couldn’t see her cry. “Tonight . . . tonight proved that we won’t win. We can’t. You saw him in there. He even has the rest of the nobility at his fingertips! And most of them hate him! How can we hope to beat that?” She dug her fingernails into her palms to keep the trembling from her voice. “Besides, Mortimer is hardly the best babysitter. And if your mother is as negligent as you make her seem, it will be a miracle if your brothers have survived this long. It would be best if you took them and left Guthward.”

  There was a long silence. But instead of leaving, he marched up behind her and whirled her around. When she came to face him again, his jaw was tight, and his eyes burned with the light of the candles he’d lit on the ledge behind her.

  “I don’t know what he told you or what you’re trying to do here, but it’s not going to work. I’m not leaving you! Especially not with that madman—”

  “You talk about staying with me, but in the end, you’ll have to go. Sometime, you will have to quit.”

  “No, I won’t!”

  “Yes! You will!” But even as she said the words, Eva knew he wasn’t going to budge. So she took a deep breath and tried again. “In one week, I am marrying the duke. Soon after, he will be king and I will be queen, and there is nothing you or I or anyone else can do about it.”

  “I am not going to leave you!”

  Why was he making this so incredibly hard? Eva looked into his eyes and put as much venom in her words as she could muster. “What did you think could come of this? Even if there was anything between us, what then?”

  “Eva, I—”

  “I’ll go back to my family, and you’ll go back to your mother. And when you ask her permission to come and court me, she’ll say no because she won’t want you to live a better life than her. And you’ll fight and quarrel, but in the end, you’ll remain with her and do her bidding, because that’s what you always do. I’ll be stuck, waiting, and you’ll never come because you always listen to Mother! And you’ll always be a quitter because you’ve never learned to be a man, and because you’re a quitter, you’ll never learn to stand on your own—”

  “Stop. Just stop.”

  Eva hated herself as the pain crossed his face in a shadow she wished she could erase. But she had purposefully chosen the very words that would leave a scar, even if time healed them, and his last memory of her would be the one where she made hi
s heart bleed.

  The silence was so thick Eva thought it just might suffocate her. When he finally lifted his eyes from the ground and met hers once more, his words were almost inaudible. But the raw pain within them hurt like nothing she’d ever felt before. Not even the duke’s most cutting insults could compare.

  “If that’s really what you think of me.” He slowly turned to walk back to the wall that she assumed he had used to climb up to her balcony. He put his hands against the railing and leaned over, but paused there. “And you’re determined to do this?”

  “I am.”

  He nodded but said nothing else. Eva wanted nothing more than to run to him and take it all back. She longed to throw her arms around his neck and beg for forgiveness. Only the memory of the threats on the parchment kept her rooted to her spot.

  “You say you want to live,” he said after a long moment. “But you should know that you’ll never live if you don’t learn to fight.” And with that, he was gone.

  “No,” Eva whispered, tears rolling down her face as she hugged herself and sank down to the ground. “But you will.”

  15

  You’re Much More Violent than I Would Have Expected

  “Try not to look so sad, my dear,” Mrs. McConnell said as she fluffed Eva’s veil once more. “You really do look lovely. Besides, this is only a fitting. You have several days more.” When Eva didn’t respond, she paused in her work and looked up. “Eva . . .”

  “My mother always spoke of my wedding day,” Eva said as she stared into the mirror.

  “Most mothers do. Any mother worth the title, at least.”

  But Eva shook her head. “There were six of us girls. More than enough wedding days to go around.” She sighed. “But she always said she couldn’t wait to see me in my gown. She said . . .” Her voice hitched.

  “She said what, dear?” Mrs. McConnell put a hand on Eva’s lace-covered shoulder.

  Eva couldn’t manage more than a whisper. “She wanted to see my eyes shine for a boy the way they did for my music. Because then she knew I would be truly happy.”