The Sound of Your Heart

by Laura Ward

  “I’m not going to The Shell tonight,” I said, lifting my chin defiantly. I wasn’t ready. I needed a little more time before I had to face my fears and confront Ben. I still hadn’t figured out the right words to say to him.

  Her eyebrows dipped in confusion. Everyone knew I loved going to The Shell, but all she said was, “We’re not going to The Shell. There’s an outdoor concert at Lakefront tonight. Alec heard about it and asked Taren and I if we wanted to go with him and his friends. Marleigh said that you weren’t going out tonight, so I thought you’d like to come with us.”

  I ran my fingers across the material of the shirt she’d chosen. It was one of my favorites. And despite the fact that I didn’t quite feel right, I also couldn’t resist the offer to go out and have fun with Taren and Lex. We didn’t get to hang out together nearly as much as I’d like to.

  “Please, Jules.” Lex pressed her hands together, begging. “I promised Liam I wouldn’t spend all of my time studying and that I’d get out and have fun more often while he’s deployed. But I don’t know Alec’s friends that well, and Caz is an insufferable flirt. I want you to come with me.” She pushed out her lower lip and I caved.

  “Fine.” I made it sound like it was a chore to be forced to go, but secretly, I was thrilled to hang out with my favorite girls.

  Twenty minutes later, Alec was holding open the back door of Caz’s SUV for Taren, Lex, and I. After seeing Caz numerous times in performances for the acrobatic group he and Alec were members of, I wondered if it was the smartest idea to let him drive. Caz could turn even the most mundane activities into something life-threatening. Why were we putting him behind the wheel?

  Lex must have had the same thought because she turned to give me a worried look as Caz put the car in drive before we were completely buckled in.

  “You ladies ready for a good time?” he asked, peering in the rearview mirror at us. His blond hair was spiked as if it had too much energy to be contained.

  “Yes, thanks for inviting us,” Lex answered politely. She gave him a sweet, angelic smile, but her hands were knotted in her lap. I could tell she was nervous to be away from her books and out having fun without Liam around. But I was glad she was making the effort. It made it easier for me to slide into my usual party girl mode.

  I’d never been to an event at Lakefront before, but it was nice. As the name implied, there was a huge lake in the middle of a public park where biking trails and open fields were available for people to enjoy. The nice thing was that it was smack dab in the middle of town so getting to it was relatively easy. Even parking wasn’t too bad.

  There was a stage set up in front of the lake with a huge grassy hill sloping down in front of it for spectators. People had brought lawn chairs and blankets, but most were sitting right on the grass. Taren spread out a huge blanket and I settled down on it with her and Lex as the guys went to find the rest of their Acroletes friends.

  Soon we were surrounded by friendly faces I didn’t recognize. I found it weird to be in a party atmosphere, listening to music, without a beer in my hand. Some of the Acroletes had brought food to share and I was surprised to find myself munching on it without a single worry of how many calories I was consuming.

  Lex noticed, but I think we silently agreed I wouldn’t tease her about ditching her schoolwork if she didn’t point out that I was stuffing my face.

  The first band to come on was a local rock band and they got the crowd warmed up. Not as good as Honor Bound, though. I felt a twinge of guilt when I thought about Ben and how I still hadn’t made the effort to apologize to him.

  But Julie Prescott didn’t apologize for being herself. I was offensive, loud, and fun and I’d never had to apologize for it before. I’d never wanted to, but this time was different. The way I’d treated Ben wasn’t something I could live with. I had to figure out how to make amends.

  “Thanks for coming tonight, Baltimore!” the lead singer hollered into the mic after finishing their third song. “We have a few more songs before Honor Bound comes on. If you want to see us, our next performance is at The Avenue in White Marsh next weekend.”

  He stepped away from the microphone and the drummer launched into a fast-paced beat, the bass and lead guitar jumping in soon after.

  Honor Bound was next? Ben was here. Somewhere.

  My stomach twisted in knots, but I reminded myself that the crowd at the Lakefront was ten times bigger than the crowds at The Shell. And it’s not like Ben would know I was here anyway. I was just another nameless face in the crowd.

  A crowd he would never be able to see.

  “Hey, isn’t the bass player in Honor Bound the guy you have the hots for?” Taren asked. She was sitting between Alec’s legs and his arms were draped around her shoulders protectively. Lovingly. I was jealous.

  I gave her a warning glare.

  “You’ve got the hots for Ben?” Caz drawled. “I can introduce you if you want.”

  I shook my head. “That’s okay. I met him already.”

  “That must have been some meeting.” Caz’s grin made him look like a Cheshire cat. Clever. Calculating. Conniving.

  I ignored him. “I’m going to get something to drink. Anyone want anything?”

  Everyone shook their heads except for Caz. He reached into his pocket and tossed a crumpled ten-dollar bill to me. “Sugar. Chocolate if you can find it.”

  Ah yes. I’d forgotten about Caz’s sugar addiction. Taren had told Lex and I all about his obsession with sweets and his ability to eat an entire tray of brownies by himself. Whatever. I’d be his sugar dealer. I was glad to have an excuse to escape the Ben inquisition.

  I made my way back through the crowd toward the food and beverage vendors I’d seen on the way in. It wasn’t crowded yet since the opening act was still playing. I stood in line, scanning the menu options on the large wooden sign while I waited. In the distance, I could hear the music still playing.

  “Can I help you?” A middle-aged woman with her brown hair swept up into a ponytail gave me a polite smile from within the food truck.

  “Yeah, can I get a bottle of water and...” I scanned the board, debating which option would distract Caz enough that he would give up on the subject of Ben. “I’ll take the fried Oreos. Two packs.”

  “That’ll be $11.50.”

  I handed the woman my money and she turned away to put together my order. She passed me my bottle of water and I opened it up to take a sip as she placed the bag of fried cookies and my change in my open palm.

  I turned around and ran smack dab into the last person I expected to see. Ben. His hands went up to my arms to steady us both, a white and red cane dropping to the ground between us. He was wearing sunglasses, but his attention was fixed on me.

  “Julie Prescott. I didn’t see you standing there.” He grinned.

  Smartass.

  I saw a familiar shock of messy blonde hair making a retreat and when Caz turned around and flashed a jaunty thumbs up at me, I decided he wasn’t getting his sugar rush or his money back. Damn meddler.

  “Uh...Hi, Ben. What a coincidence.” All I could think about was stuffing Caz’s Oreos in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to use it for talking. Because whenever I was around Ben, nothing but stupidity passed through my lips.

  “Not really. My buddy Caz texted me.” He held up his phone. “He told me you were over here getting snacks. Thought I’d see if I could find you.”

  “A text? How do you read texts if you can’t see?” I couldn’t believe I fucking said that. I mentally punched myself right in the face hoping it could knock the idiocy out of me once and for all. I needed a gag. Stat.

  “So blunt.” He shook his head, smiling. “Lucky for me there’s a thing called voice-to-text and my hearing works fine. In fact,” he stepped closer, still holding on to my arm, “I was heading in the wrong direction until I heard you ordering. Fried Oreos? I would never have guessed.”

  He recognized my voice? I don’t know why that made me feel like
butterflies were at war inside me, but I liked that he could pick my voice out of a crowd. That even though he couldn’t see me, he recognized me. Or maybe he was messing with me since it was obvious Caz had helped him find me.

  “You were looking for me?” Christ. Did I seriously ask him if he was looking? I was a disaster. “I mean, you wanted to see me?” Kill me. Kill me now.

  He lifted his eyebrows in answer.

  “Fuck. I’m a royal jackass,” I muttered.

  Ben chuckled and finally released my arm to squat down and retrieve his cane. He stood up, smiling. “It’s fine. Just because my eyes don’t work doesn’t mean my sense of humor is broken. But to answer your question, yes, I came over here for you.”

  “You did?”

  “We didn’t get to finish our conversation the other night.”

  Guilt was heavy in my chest. “I’m sorry. It was rude of me to invade your space, ask awkward questions, and then run out like that without even finishing my beer. I was...”

  “A little freaked out?” He shrugged. “Understandable.”

  I took a deep breath. “I was, but not for the reason you think.” I clutched the bag of Oreos in my hand. “I’m an asshole, I know.”

  He frowned a little. “Let me be the judge of that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Give me a chance to get to know you. I’ll let you know how big of an asshole you are.” His laugh told me he was joking.

  He set the tip of his cane down on the ground and oddly enough, with his confident stance, he reminded me of a knight in shining armor, prepared to wield his sword and honor his lady.

  Wield his sword. That’s what she said.

  What in the heck was wrong with me?

  God, my mind was a fucked-up place to be.

  “Want to grab some coffee with me sometime this week?” Ben finally asked while I continued to stand there, silently enjoying my own sexual innuendos.

  His invitation confused me. “You want to hang out with me after the way I acted?”

  Ben grinned. He was always serious when he was playing on stage. But he was grinning now and I liked it. A lot. When he smiled, it transformed him from the broody musician I was used to seeing onstage into a totally sweet and fuckable hottie that I’d like to see in my bed.

  Slow down, Jules. I could almost hear Darren warning me. Get to know him first before you fuck him and fuck it all up.

  “Why wouldn’t I want to hang out with you? You’re funny and honest. You smell like the beach on a summer day. And your voice makes me...feel.” He paused as if that last word was self-explanatory. It wasn’t. “Besides,” he said, “Caz said you had a crush on me. I figured we could talk about that a bit more.”

  I was grateful that Ben couldn’t see the full body blush that was suddenly burning over every inch of my skin. Not to mention the bloodlust that must be blazing in my eyes. I was going to destroy Caz for telling Ben that. When it came to revenge, I was a master. Maybe I’d dip his bag of Oreos in one of the porta potties before handing them off to him.

  When I stood with my mouth gaping in surprise, unable to answer, Ben asked, “How’s tomorrow? At five?”

  A date on a Sunday? At five? Weird.

  I think I said, “Sure.”

  He stared at me for a moment, those dark sunglasses and his intense focus making me wonder if he could see deep inside me—if he knew my thoughts and fears and insecurities. I felt naked in front of him, and not in a sexy way.

  And then he licked his bottom lip and all I could think about was that I wanted to taste him. His mouth and anything else he’d let me touch. I had to force myself not lean in and try to steal a kiss.

  His phone rang, jarring me back to my senses. He pulled it out of his pocket and pressed a button before lifting it to his ear.

  “Yeah,” he answered. A pause. “All right, I’m coming.” Another pause. “No, I don’t need you to come get me, fuck face. You get lost more often than I do.” One more pause. “Be there in five.”

  He hung up and slipped the phone into his pocket.

  “You guys are playing next, right?” I asked.

  He nodded. “You staying to watch?”

  “Yes.”

  His expression brightened. “Good, I’ll look for you.”

  Smartass.

  “I’ll be listening,” I told him.

  Before I knew what was happening, Ben reached for my elbow and then pulled me toward him until his lips brushed my cheek, branding me. He whispered in my ear, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He chuckled again and then he was disappearing into the crowd, the cane moving out in front of him like he knew exactly where he was going.

  I reached up to touch the spot where he’d kissed me.

  I had a date with Ben, my blind bass boy, who might be able to see me better than anyone ever had before.

  And that both delighted and scared the shit out of me.

  Chapter Six

  Julie

  Java House coffee shop on Route 1 was all the rage with the hipster set. The place was always packed, and they had live music most evenings. But it was laid back and calm. It wasn’t my scene. Everything was fresh, natural, and organic. I liked my coffee flavored with sugar-free, artificial, chemical-laden creamer. Any fear of toxicity was outweighed by the tasty zero calorie vanilla awesomeness. But Java House didn’t even stock flavored creamer. It was real milk and raw sugar.

  Who wanted the real thing when it was full of calories and fat if you could mask it with something fake, but extra sweet and easy on the love handles?

  That was my thought as I waited for Ben to order our coffees. I sat at the small table in the corner, a freaking lava lamp bubbling next to me. I was surprised they still made those things. Rows and rows of purple beads hung from the windows, giving the café a muted look, even in the light of a bright, fall afternoon.

  I took an outrageous amount of time getting ready today. I chose tight, black, capris pants, and nude-colored wedge booties. I was loving the off-the-shoulder trend going on this season, so I picked a plum colored, long-sleeved top. Baring my shoulders in the fall felt like I was giving the coming winter months the finger.

  Ben moved away from the counter and toward the front of the restaurant, his cane sliding out in front of him.

  “Over here, Ben!” I called, biting my lip when I realized I wasn’t sure of the right way to tell him where I was or the direction to go.

  His face was relaxed, and he shifted his direction toward the sound of my voice.

  “Sorry,” I said when he was close. “How would you like me to tell you where to go in the future?”

  Feeling like a dumbass around him sucked balls. Hairy balls.

  “You did great. Some of my friends will use a clock to guide me. Like head toward two o’clock.” He collapsed his cane until it was a quarter of its normal size before placing it on a chair next to him. “Picked a table hidden in the corner, huh? Who are we hiding from?” Ben’s voice was teasing, and he sat back in his chair, casual and relaxed.

  Fuckshit. How the hell did he know this was a table in the most isolated part of the place? I wasn’t hiding from anyone per se, but I didn’t want the entire coffee shop to have a front row seat to watch my attempt at charming Ben. Hitting on a guy who couldn’t see me was all new territory. My usual flirting techniques were damn near useless. This flirt fest was bound to be a disaster and I didn’t need an audience. Especially if my overly active mouth got involved and I said something stupid or offensive, which was a given.

  “Oh, no one.” My laugh was awkward. “I thought we could have some privacy here, that’s all.”

  A server placed my cappuccino in front of me. The foam froth had been decorated to form two hearts. I’m sure some girls would take that as I sign. I wasn’t one of them.

  Ben blew on his coffee before taking a sip. It was straight up black.

  “How can you drink black coffee? The taste is so strong.” I grimaced, sipping my more-m
ilk-than-coffee beverage.

  The corners of Ben’s lips lifted. “I like to take things as they come. I prefer authenticity. I don’t want anything in my life that’s artificial.”

  Artificial? That’s exactly how some would describe me. My stomach sank. What was I doing here? I didn’t fit in with Ben. I was way out of my comfort zone.

  He sat back again in his chair, his long, jeans-clad legs spread in front of him. “You’re awfully quiet. Do I make you uncomfortable?”

  “No, no, of course not,” I said immediately. Sweat was forming along my upper lip. I needed to get a grip. I took a sip of my cappuccino, my brain scrambling for a way to get the conversation going. “Umm, the other night you said you’ve been blind your whole life. Did something happen to cause it?”

  I closed my eyes as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Dear God, it was like I’d never flirted before in my life.

  Ben huffed a laugh. “Blunt as hell. I like it.” He cocked his head to the side as if studying me with his other senses. “I was born this way. No one else in my family is blind, so I guess I was the lucky one.”

  I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “You’ve never seen…anything? Not a sunset or the ocean?” I couldn’t imagine.

  “Not with my eyes. But the sound and smell of the ocean are my favorites. I love the sensation of sand under my feet and the way you can feel the ocean water pull back before a wave slams down on you.” Ben scooted his chair closer to me. “I like how things seem a little quieter at sunset. I can almost sense the change from light to dark. And in the summer, I can tell it’s coming when the sun isn’t as hot on my skin. The warmth becomes duller as the sun sinks.”

  Ben placed his arm on the back of my chair, his fingers trailing up and around my bare shoulder.

  “Just like without even seeing you, I know you look beautiful today. Your skin is soft and—” he leaned closer, “you smell like coconut.” I shivered, and he smirked.