Fallen Elements

by Heather McVea

  Leah looked up at Ryan. “You know, so he could just swim to shore.” She stopped talking, her breaths coming in short spurts. “But I got it too hot, and he nearly died from third degree burns.”

  Ryan put the bottle back on the table, and pulled Leah to her. Holding her tightly, Ryan tried to reassure Leah. “It wasn’t your fault.” She leaned back so she could see Leah. “Impulse control is for shit with every adolescent.” Ryan smiled. “And most adults for that matter.”

  Leah managed a small smile. “Thank you, but it was terrible. I swore I would never use my powers to harm anyone.” Shaking her head, Leah shuddered. “I don’t think I could live with myself.”

  Ryan wanted to help Leah past her melancholy, and back into the present. “I couldn’t imagine you hurting anyone.”

  The corner of Leah’s mouth turned up. “Who can say? To your point, I don’t even know why or how I can do what I do. I suppose there’s some science behind it. Genetics or something, but who would I ever trust enough to test that?” Leah said the last part with obvious sadness in her voice.

  “You’re trusting me, though?” Ryan took Leah’s hands in hers. “Me of all people, considering who my family is?”

  Leah shook her head. “No. I’m trusting you because of who you are.”

  As much reassurance and affection as Leah’s words triggered in Ryan, her curiosity was nowhere near abated. “What else can you do?”

  Leah tapped her index finger against her lips as she scanned the room before her eyes settled on Ryan. “Give me your arm.”

  Ryan frowned. “My arm?”

  Leah nodded, a mischievous smirk on her face. “Yeah, your arm.”

  Ryan hesitated, but ultimately she trusted Leah, and stretched her arm out between them. “Be gentle.”

  A quick smile flashed across Leah’s lips before she forced a more serious expression, setting her mouth in a thin, pursed line. The first touch of Leah’s hand on the underside of Ryan’s forearm sent a skittering of heat up into Ryan’s chest, but then the touch became cool, almost cold.

  Ryan’s eyes widened as she stared at where Leah’s hand lay on her skin. “What’s happening?”

  Leah’s gaze wandered from where her hand was, up the bare skin of Ryan’s arm, pausing at her shoulder. “Do you feel that?”

  Ryan shuddered. “It’s all the way up my arm!” She looked back and forth between Leah’s hand and the light green of her eyes.

  “The human body is roughly sixty five percent water.” Leah slid her hand down to Ryan’s wrist, and wrapped her slender fingers around it. “It’s contained in the tissues – blood, even bone.”

  As Leah spoke, the coolness from before disappeared. Ryan felt a warmth growing deep in the joint of her wrist. It spread outward, and wound itself up her arm, wrapping around her forearm and settling deep in her elbow.

  Something occurred to Ryan, but she hesitated before putting a voice to it. “Can you make it hotter?”

  Leah’s eyes shot up to Ryan’s, a worried expression on her face. “Yes.”

  Ryan nodded. “And colder too, I assume?”

  Leah nodded, and removed her hand from Ryan’s wrist. “Yes.” Extending her arm to her side, and without looking away from Ryan, Leah turned her palm upward. A split second later, fine crystals of ice were appearing in the air around Leah’s hand, gently floating to the floor.

  “Jesus.” Ryan stuck her hand out, catching the fine grains of ice in her hand. “That’s amazing.”

  Leah suddenly pulled her hand away. “It’s not difficult. Water is everywhere - short of living in a desert, and or in some buildings where the air is particularly dry because of climate control systems.”

  Ryan could hear the strain in Leah’s voice, and put aside her heightened curiosity. She took Leah’s hand in hers, and sat down on the sofa. “Please sit with me.” Ryan patted her hand on the cushion next to her. “All of this is good. No more lies and half-truths.”

  Leah bit her lower lip between her teeth as she considered the space next to Ryan. After several seconds, she sat down, still holding Ryan’s hand. “I should have told you before. Especially about Karen.” She ran her hand up the smooth skin of Ryan’s forearm. “I’m very sorry for that.”

  Ryan fought back the urge to pull Leah to her. There was still so much she didn’t know in spite of the recent windfall of information Leah was willing to part with. Ryan still felt tense and unsure of what lay ahead for them.

  “Tell me now, please.” Ryan placed her hand on Leah’s knee, and squeezed gently.

  Leah took a deep breath. “Right.” Smiling she placed her hand over Ryan’s. “Karen called to say she was sorry for everything. I was shocked to hear her voice after so many years.”

  “What’s everything?” Ryan wanted to respect Leah pacing herself through this, but Ryan felt as happy as Leah had made her to this point, she had only been allowed parts of the woman. Now she wanted everything.

  Leah’s eyes filled with tears, her gaze unfocused as she was clearly remembering. “For what happened when we were younger.” Wiping at an errant tear, Leah continued. “You see, your family is very good with secrets.”

  Ryan chuckled. “No shit.”

  “They are particularly good at keeping secrets from each other. So much so, that tradition dictates only the oldest child is to know about the tells and the hunting.”

  “So my mother didn’t know?”

  Leah nodded. “My family didn’t know about the Myers either. I’m sorry to say they aren’t the only family with such a twisted hobby.”

  Ryan frowned. “I’m sorry.”

  Leah shook her head quickly. “No, I didn’t mean it like that – I just meant the Myers are one of many families that claim some divine providence in justifying the killing and ruining of elemental bloodlines.”

  “Once your aunt realized who I was, or really what I was, she felt obligated to bring your mother into the fold.” Leah’s grasp on Ryan’s arm tightened. “I didn’t understand it at the time, but I can only imagine how terrifying it was for Karen. Not only was she dealing with her feelings for another woman, but she had just learned about her own history – and mine.”

  Ryan felt as if she were being pushed toward the abyss. Leah was building to something, and regardless of Ryan’s need to know the truth, she wasn’t sure she was ready. She knew it was for the best that Leah was bent on continuing no matter how pained Ryan’s expression was.

  “Lucy and Karen hired private detectives, and had my parents, my brother, and I pursued across the country. Assets were frozen, random and frivolous lawsuits were filed against my parents.” Leah shook her head, the heinousness of it still a burden. “My parents were audited four times in as many years by the IRS.”

  Leah’s breath caught. “In the end, they poisoned every professional opportunity my parents had, blocked housing loans.” Leah’s expression hardened. “We couldn’t even rent an apartment at one point; so we lived with relatives.”

  Ryan hated herself for thinking this, but she was relieved it hadn’t been worse. She had imagined all manner of horrific things. “At least you were with your family.”

  Leah flinched. “My father couldn’t find work and drank himself to death within five years. My mother followed him three years later. My brother was incapable of moving past the losses, and drove his car off a bridge when he was twenty seven.” Leah cast her eyes downward. “No, we never really had each other again.”

  Driven by only her need to comfort Leah, Ryan pulled the distraught woman to her. For a second she feared Leah would push her away, and that the history behind them would now come between them. To Ryan’s relief, Leah clung to her as tightly as Ryan did her.

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I don’t have the words.” Ryan leaned her head back, gently kissing along Leah’s jaw and cheek. “Tell me what I can do.” She framed Leah’s face with her hands.

  Tears streamed down Leah’s cheeks faster than Ryan could wipe them away. “There’s
nothing to be done. I decided many years ago to move past it. The alternatives seemed too bleak.”

  Ryan had waited for and wanted the truth practically since meeting Leah. Now, faced with it, she did not know what the next steps were. Her mind still clung to the reality she had known her entire life, and she wondered if it wouldn’t be easier if she had just stayed tethered to her questions. The answers seemed no less confusing than the lies.

  Leah sat back, her arms falling from around Ryan’s shoulders. “I need to go.”

  Ryan shook her head. “What? Why?”

  Leah ran her hand through her hair. “First off, I’m a mess. Second, I need to think.”

  “About what?” Ryan’s breath caught as she waited for Leah’s response.

  Sniffling, Leah stood. “Us.”

  Ryan stood and followed Leah toward the front door. She wanted to grab Leah, and tell her they would do better to solve this together, but Ryan hardly felt she was in a position to insist Leah do anything. “I don’t want you to leave, but I understand why you need to.”

  Leah turned toward Ryan, and cupped the younger woman’s cheek in her hand. “Thank you.”

  Ryan turned her lips to Leah’s palm, and then took the woman’s hand in hers. The heat that shot up Ryan’s arm was no less intense now that she understood its source. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Ryan mustered the courage of her convictions to tell Leah she would call versus asking if she could. The fear that Leah may tell her not to bother sat at the pit of Ryan’s stomach, like a sour lump.

  A quick smile flashed across Leah’s lips. “Okay.”

  Then Leah was gone. Ryan stood with her hand still clutching the doorknob of her front door. She felt strangely detached from her life, as if everything she had just learned were unfolding before her in a movie. The tragedies, the loves, the losses not feeling as if they were Ryan’s, but some fictional character whose fate was unknown.

  Ryan managed to drag herself up the stairs to her bedroom, and collapse onto her bed. She felt as if she had run a marathon, and every part of her body ached. Curling up, she pulled the blanket from the foot the bed over her.

  In the coolness of her room, and the darkness of the cocoon she had immersed herself in, a quick burst of air escaped Ryan’s lungs as if she had been punched in the stomach. Taking a deep breath, Ryan began to sob.

  It was a release born of shame that her family was murderers, that the woman she loved had borne the brunt of the Myers’ insane cruelty, and that her mother had lost herself in her guilt and self-inflicted degradation.

  Of all these tragedies and injustices, one fear threatened to swallow Ryan completely. It was that in spite of Leah and her finally having the courage to face the past, it would prove more than either could bear. Ryan could lose Leah anyway.

  ***

  “Thank you for the update, Ryan. The projections look great.” Donnie smiled from across the conference table at Ryan.

  Ryan wasn’t sure how she had managed, but she had held herself together for the better part of the week, in spite of the fact Leah hadn’t returned any of her calls. She had left six messages and had finally broken down and called the bookshop.

  “She’s out of town on business, Ryan. Can I give her a message?” Marty had answered nervously as Ryan inquired about Leah. Ryan once again wished the man would become a better liar or give the sport up all together.

  “No message. Just let her know I called when you talk to her.” Ryan didn’t see the point in bullying the man, and could respect his loyalty to his friend and business partner.

  As the meeting adjourned, Ryan slid her laptop into its bag, and wondered if she should just drive out to Leah’s house after work. It would be harder for Leah to ignore her in person.

  Ryan was trying to honor the fact that Leah clearly needed space, but the silent treatment was wearing on Ryan’s nerves. When she and Leah parted company at Ryan’s house over the weekend, it had not occurred to Ryan that Leah was only humoring her when she agreed Ryan should call her. She thought the relationship meant more to Leah than empty gestures.

  “Plans for tonight?” Linda was standing beside Ryan, a legal pad of paper tucked under her arm. She was dressed impeccably as always in a sage colored pencil skirt and a dark brown button-up blouse.

  “What?” Ryan had been lost in her thoughts, and hadn’t even noticed her co-worker standing next to her.

  Linda grinned. “I asked if you were doing anything tonight. Several of my girlfriends and I were going to go out for a drink, and I thought you might need the distraction.”

  Ryan frowned. “Why would I need a distraction?”

  Linda glanced down, shifting her weight as she leaned against the conference table. “Well – not for nothing, but you’ve been out of sorts this week.”

  Ryan looked around the conference room. Linda was the only one of her co-workers that remained. Lowering her voice, Ryan forced herself to sound calm. “Have people said something?” The idea that she had not done her best, or that somehow her work was suffering because of the absolute mess her personal life had become, set off a wave of panic in Ryan.

  Linda stood up. “Oh, god no. I didn’t mean to imply – I just noticed you didn’t seem yourself.”

  Ryan nodded, relieved that at least she had mostly managed to keep it together. “Oh. I’m busy tonight, but thanks for the invite.” Ryan picked up her bag. “And the concern.”

  Linda nodded, a warm smile lighting up her face. “If you change your mind –” She tore a piece of yellow paper from the legal pad and taking a pen from her pocket, jotted a series of numbers down. “Text me.”

  Ryan took the piece of paper. “I appreciate it.”

  There was an awkward moment when Linda clearly wasn’t sure if the conversation was over, but then she managed a quick nod, and left the room.

  Ryan sat down in one of the high back leather chairs, and tilting her head back, took several deep breaths. She couldn’t continue to live in this in-between space she was stuck in. She would drive to Leah’s house, and resolve things one way or another.

  A light vibration went off in Ryan’s front pant pocket, and she pulled her phone out. Her brow furrowed when she saw Carol’s name on the caller ID.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Ryan was genuinely happy to be hearing from her cousin.

  “Hi! I just wanted to let you know I’m in town for the weekend, and would love to see you.” Carol spoke quickly, clearly excited.

  “And you didn’t just want to pop over to my house unannounced?” Ryan jabbed. The two women hadn’t left things on the best of terms during Carol’s visit a couple weeks ago, but Ryan had never been able to stay mad at her cousin.

  “That’s fair.” Carol conceded. “Are you free tonight?”

  Ryan pursed her lips. She wanted to see Carol, but needed things resolved with Leah. “I have a meeting right after work, but I could meet you for drinks around nine.”

  “Excellent. I’m staying at the Monaco again. Do you want to just meet in the bar there?”

  “Sure.” Ryan smiled, and thought if things went badly with Leah, at least she had time with Carol to look forward to. She assumed, based on what Leah had shared about the first born rule, that Carol was blissfully unaware of the real reason her mother was advocating for Ryan to stop seeing Leah.

  The two women said their goodbyes, and Ryan glanced at her watch. It was a little after four, and she wondered if she might just call it a day. She could drive out to Leah’s and let the proverbial chips fall as they may.

  Resolved to do just that, she went to Donnie’s office and asked if she could leave early. Her boss was happy to approve the early departure, and less than ten minutes later, Ryan was in route to Oella. Traffic was worse than she had expected, and the usual twenty minute drive took nearly forty.

  The late hour and the dense trees throughout Oella cast Leah’s home in shadow as Ryan drove up the narrow driveway. Seeing Leah’s car, Ryan suddenly remembered, that with everything that had
happened, she had never asked Leah about the discrepancy in her accident story. Ryan didn’t really care at this point. She would be happy to just have Leah speak to her. Never mind explaining away a random white lie.

  Ryan stepped onto the covered patio, and knocked on the door. She willed herself not to knock again immediately, and counted to thirty in her head to ensure she didn’t seem too eager or worse, come off as aggressive.

  After the countdown in her head came and went, Ryan knocked again, and again began counting to thirty. On twenty three, there was a faint clicking sound, and the door opened. Leah was standing in a pair of gray sweat pants and a purple Ravens V-neck cotton t-shirt.

  Ryan couldn’t interpret the expression on Leah’s face, so she opted to be blunt to avoid any confusion. “You weren’t returning my calls, and I was worried, and I missed you.”

  Leah didn’t speak, but stepped to the side and gestured for Ryan to come in. Shutting the door behind them, Leah stood with her back to the door. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you.” Leah’s voice was low. “I thought you might come by, especially when Marty phoned and told me you had called the shop.”

  Ryan swallowed hard, her throat and mouth suddenly dry. “What’s going on?”

  Leah walked past Ryan, and sat down on the sofa. The memory of the first time she and Leah had sex on that sofa cascaded over Ryan in a warm wave.

  “I know I should have said this last weekend, but I thought a little distance would make it easier to think and clear my head.” Leah sat with her elbows resting on her knees, and Ryan couldn’t imagine anything good was going to come from this exchange since Leah could barely look at her.

  “Has the distance helped?” Ryan asked the question without being sure she wanted to hear the answer.

  Leah rubbed her face with both hands, and Ryan noticed for the first time since coming in the house how tired Leah looked. Her usually bright eyes were dim, and she had faint circles under them. “No. It hasn’t helped.”