The Quality of Love

by Rosie Harris

  ‘I’ve already told you that we weren’t legally married, Mam. That wedding ceremony was all a sham; just something he arranged to keep me happy, as he put it,’ Sarah reminded her bitterly.

  ‘Yes, yes, I know you did, my lovely. I was just running through what was in my mind. Terrible old fraud, wasn’t he? Thank heavens you’re free of him. Do you reckon they’ll send him to gaol over this?’

  ‘Mam, he’s dead,’ Sarah reminded her.

  ‘Oh yes, so he is. Well, it’s only what he deserved. Will the man who did it be sent to gaol?’

  ‘Probably,’ Lloyd said gravely. ‘Let’s hope that nothing more about Stefan Vaughan’s background comes out and you’re not involved in any way, Sarah.’

  ‘That’s the problem. I’m afraid it might, and I’m wondering whether or not I ought to tell Mr Phillips that I was involved with him for a time and that was one of the reasons I left the City Hall.’

  ‘Duw anwyl, why do a thing like that?’ her mother exclaimed. ‘Let sleeping dogs lie. Tell him that and he won’t give you the job, and you’ve already said how much you want it.’

  ‘Better for her to tell him now than for it to come out later on,’ Lloyd protested.

  ‘Why tell him at all that’s what I say,’ Lorna insisted stubbornly. ‘It wasn’t as though she was properly married to him, now was it? Anyway,’ she went on even more firmly, ‘he already has a wife and family so think what it will do to that poor woman if she discovers that her husband was an even bigger scoundrel than she’s already been told.’

  ‘You certainly have a point there,’ Lloyd agreed sombrely. ‘It just shows what a quagmire your life becomes when you start to lie. I understand you were taken in, cariad,’ he said more kindly. ‘Even though he was a highly intelligent man he was greatly lacking in honesty and integrity.’

  ‘Yes, cariad, it’s time to try and put it all behind you. You say this man Bryn Morgan is ready to give you a job, so the best thing you can do is take it and get on with your life and, whatever you do, don’t go falling for him.’

  ‘I’m hardly likely to do that, Mam,’ Sarah told her with a smile, ‘he’s going bald, has a pot belly and is nearly sixty.’

  ‘He’s also an outstanding businessman and, in addition, he’s a city councillor and he’ll probably be made an alderman in the very near future,’ Lloyd added.

  ‘That doesn’t mean he’s any different to Stefan Vaughan. We all thought he was a clever businessman and look . . .’

  ‘Don’t give it another thought, Mam.’ Sarah smiled cynically as she reached out and took her mother’s hand. ‘I won’t be falling again for any man.’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sarah found her job at Morgan Builders far more challenging than she’d anticipated it would be.

  After the smooth, slow-moving, almost pedantic pace of life she’d known at the City Hall it took her some time to adjust to the cut and thrust and fast-moving action of the commercial world.

  At the end of the first month, however, she felt she’d adapted well but she was also aware that it would have been impossible for her to do so without the help of Owen Phillips.

  He didn’t intrude on what she was doing but he often enabled her to make acceptable short-cuts. Also, because he’d worked there for several years he was able to give her valuable inside information about the companies and people she had to deal with and was always ready to give advice if she asked for it.

  When she had been working there for six months and it was time for a review of the situation as they’d agreed, Bryn Morgan seemed to be more than happy with her progress. He also expressed his relief that she and Owen Phillips got along so well.

  She felt such a debt of gratitude to Owen Phillips that on the anniversary of her starting work there she wanted to show it in some way but she wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.

  If it had been a woman colleague, then a bouquet of flowers or even a box of chocolates would have been ideal. Under the circumstances, though, she felt that she could hardly give either of those sorts of presents to a man. She enjoyed working with him and this had helped to bond the friendship during the year they’d now known each other and this was something she greatly valued.

  Sarah pondered the problem for several days then, summoning up her nerve, she asked him if he would allow her to take him out to dinner as a way of saying thank you for all he’d done for her since she’d joined the company.

  For a moment he looked startled, then, with a twinkle in his blue eyes, he said, ‘That’s the first time a lady has ever invited me out. I’m very flattered but—’

  ‘You are going to say no,’ Sarah interceded quickly, colour rushing to her cheeks.

  ‘On the contrary, I was going to say that I’d love to have dinner with you but that I would like to be the one to take you out. You’ve brought a new dimension to the office. In fact, I’ve never enjoyed working with anyone as much as I have with you.’

  For a moment they stared at each other in silence as they weighed up the problem. Then Sarah laughed. ‘This is beginning to sound like a mutual admiration society. I suppose we could compromise and go Dutch?’ she added tentatively.

  He gave a deep sigh. ‘If you insist, but I really do want to take you out. I was afraid to suggest it in case you felt uncomfortable about accepting.’

  Sarah spent a lot of time deciding what to wear. She wanted to look smart, but not dressed to the nines in case he thought she was making more of the occasion than it deserved.

  In the end, after trying on three or four of her dresses, she settled for a pleated dark blue skirt that reached below her knees and a long-sleeved draped blouson top that reached to her hips. This was trimmed at the bottom with a wide band of light blue.

  With her hair, which she now wore in a neat bob, parted to one side, and light stockings and shoes, she felt smart but rather subdued so she added a long rope of white beads.

  Finally, she very carefully outlined her mouth with a pale pink lipstick and picked up her bottle of California Poppy scent to put a dab behind her ears. Then she hesitated, studying herself critically and wondering if she hadn’t already done enough. She wasn’t sure how Owen might react to scent. She never wore it to work because she didn’t think it was appropriate to do so and she knew some men found such pungent perfume rather distasteful.

  Owen was smartly dressed in a light grey suit, a crisp white shirt and a dark blue and grey striped tie. His face lit up in admiration when she arrived and he handed her a spray of sweet-smelling Lily of the Valley to wear as a corsage.

  After the first few minutes which they spent choosing which dishes they would like from the rather long menu they slowly took stock of each other. Even though they saw each other most days they still found they had plenty to talk about.

  ‘I haven’t a very active social life these days,’ Owen confided. ‘I can’t play any sports because of my leg. Before it was damaged I played rugby regularly every Saturday, unless there was a big match on at Cardiff Arms Park when, of course, I went to watch. I still do so occasionally, but it’s not the same being a spectator, when you don’t ever take part in the game itself.’

  ‘I’ve never really had any interest in sport,’ Sarah confessed. ‘As I was growing up I was always being made to study. My dad was very keen that I should go to university and get a degree.’

  ‘Well, that has certainly paid dividends,’ he told her, a look of admiration in his blue eyes. ‘There aren’t many women who could handle legal matters as efficiently as you do.’

  ‘You’ve been a great help; without you I don’t think I would have managed to learn the ropes so speedily.’

  ‘Yes, we seem to make the ideal team. Bryn Morgan was remarking on it only the other day.’

  Getting to know Owen socially meant that they exchanged background details. Like her he was an only child which, he agreed, was probably the reason why they had such a close affinity. Unlike her he no longer had anything to do with his parents.
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  ‘My father died while I was quite young,’ he explained, ‘and when my mother married again I’m afraid I didn’t get on too well with my stepfather.’

  ‘Why? Were you jealous of him?’

  ‘Yes, I suppose I was in a way. I was too young to understand that my mam was lonely and needed someone other than me in her life,’ he said sadly. ‘He’s a good man, pillar of the chapel and all that sort of thing, but he was inclined to be rather strict and I resented him telling me what I could or could not do. It was one of the reasons why I volunteered for the army the moment I was old enough to do so.’

  She expressed surprise when Owen went on to say that he had volunteered for military service in 1918 when he was only seventeen.

  ‘It was a daft thing to do but I did it in order to get away from home and my stepfather. It also meant that I missed out in a number of ways. If my own father had still been alive he would probably have encouraged me to take an apprenticeship in engineering or something like that.

  ‘You can imagine what a shock the army was.’ He smiled, as he speared the last piece of potato on his plate. ‘I’d jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. I’d exchanged a strict stepfather for an even stricter drill sergeant. It was 1918 and men at the Front were dying so fast that the moment I’d finished my initial training and knew how to handle a gun I was sent over to France.’

  ‘So did you see much action?’ Sarah asked as she laid her knife and fork down on her plate and lightly dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin before taking a sip of wine.

  ‘Not really. The very first week I was over there I had the misfortune to be the victim of a sniper’s bullet.’

  ‘How terrible,’ Sarah exclaimed.

  Owen paused as a waiter came to clear away their plates and proffer the pudding menu. He waited until they had ordered before he went on.

  ‘The bullet hit me in the top of my leg and shattered the bone. I didn’t reach a military hospital until several days later and because I wasn’t considered to be one of the more seriously injured I wasn’t treated immediately. By the time they came to attend to my leg there’d been shrinkage or something. The outcome of it is that one leg is slightly shorter than the other one and of course I’ve walked with a limp ever since.’

  ‘It’s hardly noticeable,’ Sarah told him.

  ‘I’m conscious of it, though, and worst of all it has meant I can’t play rugby.’

  They continued reminiscing for the rest of their meal and Sarah found herself enjoying herself more and more. In fact, in her esti mation their evening was a tremendous success.

  When they finally parted Owen confirmed this when he said he hoped that this was going to be the first of many such outings because he’d found her such a delightful companion. He added that he’d enjoyed the occasion immensely and found it had been a pleasant form of relaxation.

  Going out for a meal together, although not on a regular basis, became quite frequent. Occasionally they also went to the pictures if there was anything on that they both wanted to see. Sarah was surprised at how similar their tastes were and found that their trips to the cinema were all the more enjoyable because of this.

  The only thing that worried Sarah was the fact that although Owen had told her a great deal about his childhood and what had happened while he had been growing up, so far she’d said very little to him about her own background apart from details about her parents.

  She hesitated for quite a while before she told him the entire truth about her past and when she did summon up the courage to do so she wondered if it would be the death knell of their friendship.

  She probably wouldn’t have told him at all except that she realised that their friendship seemed to be gradually developing into something closer and she decided she had to clear the air. She’d already told her parents about him and she was anxious for them to meet him so that they could understand how different he was and why she considered him to be such a good friend.

  Sarah and Owen were in their favourite restaurant having a meal when she broached the subject.

  ‘I thought you might like to come and meet my parents; perhaps on Sunday for tea?’ she suggested.

  His face lit up. ‘That would be very nice. You’ve talked so much about them that I feel I already know them.’ He smiled. ‘Don’t worry, cariad, I’ll be on my best behaviour and I won’t tell them any of your dark secrets, like how you invited me out before I had a chance to ask you,’ he teased.

  She didn’t smile. ‘There are several things I think you should know before you accept,’ she said slowly.

  He looked puzzled but remained silent and took a long, slow sip of wine as he waited for her to continue.

  ‘It’s about my past,’ she said and her voice dropped to almost a whisper so that he had to lean across the table to hear what she was saying.

  He stretched out a hand and took hers, holding it tightly. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything you’d rather keep to yourself, you know, Sarah. I judge you on what you are today not on what you may have done in the past.’

  Sarah smiled weakly, took a sip of her wine and nervously cleared her throat. Then in a low voice, and watching his face for his reactions, she told him all about her affair with Gwyn Roberts and how she’d had to drop out of university before she could take her final exams because she’d been pregnant.

  ‘So what happened after that?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘We never married but we lived together in a squalid room in Tiger Bay.’ Her voice was shaking as she began telling him about what happened and how her parents had refused to have anything at all to do with her.

  When she reached the part where little Cladylliss had taken ill and died, she was so overcome with emotion that she had to stop speaking.

  Owen refilled her glass and waited while she took one or two sips then looked at her expectantly. ‘Go on,’ he said gently. ‘Tell me what you did after the child died.’

  ‘After that I made my peace with my parents and went back home. The university agreed to let me take my exams and so I eventually completed my studies. After I got my degree I went to work at the City Hall.’

  ‘So everything turned out well. That’s where you first met Bryn Morgan, wasn’t it?’

  She nodded. ‘Yes, I was working in the Housing Department, as you probably know, and of course he often came in to discuss building plans and so on.’

  ‘I remember him saying something about it at the time. He seemed to be impressed by your efficiency even in those days,’ he told her with a warm smile. ‘So why did you leave?’

  Sarah took another sip of her wine. ‘That is something else I feel you should know about,’ she said as she put her glass down.

  He took a sip of his own wine and waited for her to go on.

  ‘I worked there for about two years and during that time I got to know a man called Stefan Vaughan,’ she said bitterly. ‘After my previous experience I was so determined to live life to the full that when I discovered that away from the office he shed the mask of respectability and lived the high life I thought he was exactly the sort of companion I wanted.

  ‘Stefan loved dancing, especially jazz, he enjoyed drinking, and he was into drugs and everything else. To me it was an exciting new world and one I wanted to take part in.’

  Owen listened quietly, nodding from time to time as Sarah told him how she’d become more and more friendly with Stefan. ‘When he suggested that I should move into his flat I agreed to do so, but only if we were married.’

  Owen’s face registered incredulity when she told him all about the bogus marriage that Stefan arranged.

  ‘So was that why you eventually left the City Hall, because you found out what an utter cad he was?’

  ‘Not exactly. I had already left because I was pregnant again. I was looking forward to having the baby although Stefan wasn’t too keen on the idea. He still wanted to live the high life and stupidly I tried to keep up with him. I didn’t take enough care of mysel
f, I’m afraid, and the baby was stillborn,’ she said forlornly.

  He leaned forward and took her hand again, shaking his head sadly. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I was terribly upset but, even worse, I discovered that while I had been in hospital Stefan had been cheating on me. That was when I went back home again. My parents were shocked but very understanding.

  ‘It took me a while to come to terms with what had happened. The day I met Bryn Morgan I’d gone to the City Hall to convince myself that I could never work there again. He told me the whole story about Stefan Vaughan.’ She shivered. ‘I expect you read all about it in the papers.’

  ‘Was this the woman who was with him on the night he was attacked?’ Owen asked.

  ‘I can’t be sure but I’m pretty certain it was the same woman.’

  Owen smiled gently, his pressure on her hand increasing. ‘That meeting with Bryn Morgan was fate; you were destined to come and work at Morgan’s,’ he assured her.

  ‘Now that you know everything will you still be coming to tea on Sunday?’ Sarah asked tentatively.

  ‘Of course! All that is in the past, but I’m glad you’ve told me.’

  She gave a smile of relief; he was the first person apart from her parents who knew all there was to know about her and it felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sarah found that both her parents were very concerned when she told them that she’d invited Owen Phillips to tea on Sunday.

  ‘Do you think that is a good idea, cariad?’ Lorna asked in a slightly puzzled voice.

  ‘Isn’t he the chap you work alongside at Morgan’s?’ Lloyd frowned.

  ‘Yes, he is, but he’s become quite a good friend and I’d like you to meet him.’

  ‘When you go off out in the evenings are you telling us that’s who you’ve been with, Sarah?’ her mother asked sharply.

  ‘Yes. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?’ Sarah asked, looking from one to the other in surprise.