The Dark Tower

by Phyllis Bottome

  “Then you should take some pains to understand them,” observed Dr. Gurnet. “Not to understand the language of an enemy is the first step toward defeat. Why, it is even necessary sometimes to understand one’s friends.”

  Winn said that he had a friend he understood perfectly; his name was Lionel Drummond.

  “I know him through and through,” he explained; “that’s why I trust him.” Dr. Gurnet looked interested, but not convinced.

  “Ah,” he said, “personally I shouldn’t trust any man till he was dead. You know where you are then, you know. Before that one prophesies. By the by, are you married?” Dr. Gurnet did not raise his eyes at this question, but before Winn’s leaden “Yes” had answered him he had written on the case paper, “Unhappy domestic life.”

  “And – er – your wife’s not here with you?” Dr. Gurnet suavely continued. Winn thought himself non-committal when he confined himself to saying:

  “No; she’s in England with my boy.” He was as non-committal for Dr. Gurnet as if he had been a wild elephant. He admitted Peter with a change of voice, and asked eagerly if things with lungs were hereditary or catching?

  “Not at present in your case,” Dr. Gurnet informed him. “By the by, you’ll get better, you know. You’re a little too old to cure, but you’ll patch up.”

  “What does that mean?” Winn demanded. “Shall I be a broken-winded, cats’-meat hack?”

  Dr. Gurnet shook his head.

  “You can go back to your regiment,” he said, “and do anything you like bar pig-sticking and polo in a year’s time. That is to say, if you do as you are told for that year and will have the kindness to remember that, if you do not, I am not responsible, nor shall I be in any great degree inconsolable. I am here like a sign-post; my part of the business is to point the road. I really don’t care if you follow it or not; but I should be desolated, of course, if you followed it and didn’t arrive. This, however, has not yet occurred to me.

  “You will be out of doors nine hours a day, and kindly fill in this card for me. You may skate, but not ski or toboggan, nor take more than four hours’ active exercise out of the twenty-four. In a month’s time I shall be pleased to see you. Remember about the German and – er – do you ever flirt?”

  Winn stared ominously.

  “Flirt? No,” he said. “Why the devil should I?”

  Dr. Gurnet gave a peculiar little smile, half quizzical and half kindly.

  “Well,” he said, “I sometimes recommend it to my patients in order that they may avoid the intenser application known as falling in love. Or in cases like your own, for instance, when a considerable amount of beneficial cheerfulness may be arrived at by a careful juxtaposition of the sexes. You follow me?”

  “No, hanged if I do,” said Winn. “I’ve told you I’m married, haven’t I? Besides, I dislike women.”

  “Ah, there perhaps we may be more in agreement than you imagine,” said Dr. Gurnet, increasing his kindly smile. “But I must continue to assure you that this avoidance of what you dislike is a hazardous operation. The study of women at a distance is both amusing and instructive. I grant you that too close personal relations are less so. I have avoided family life most carefully from this consideration, but much may be obtained from women without going to extremes. In fact, if I may say so, women impart their most favorable attributes solely under these conditions. Good morning.”

  Winn left the small brown house with a heart that was strangely light. Of course he didn’t believe in doctors any more than Sir Peter did, but he found himself believing that he was going to get well.

  All the morning he had been moving his mind in slow waves that did not seem like thoughts against the rock of death; but he came away from the tiger-skins and the flickering laughter of Dr. Gurnet’s eyes with a comfortable sense of having left all such questions on the doorstep. He thought instead of whether it was worth while to go down to the rink before lunch or not.

  It was while he was still undecided as to this question that he heard a little shriek of laughter. It ran up a scale like three notes on a flute; he knew in a moment that it was the same laughter he had listened to the night before.

  He turned aside and found himself at the bend of a long ice run leading down to the lake. A group of men were standing there, and with one foot on a toboggan, her head flung back, her eyes full of sparkling mischief, was the child. He forgot that he had ever thought her a boy, though she looked on the whole as if she would like to be thought one. Her curly auburn hair was short and very thick, and perched upon it was a round scarlet cap; her mouth was scarlet; her eyes were like Scotch braes, brown and laughing; the curves of her long, delicate lips ran upward; her curving thin, black eyebrows were like question-marks; her chin was tilted upward like the petal of a flower. She was very slim, and wore a very short brown skirt which revealed the slenderest of feet and ankles; a sweater clung to her unformed, lithe little figure. She had an air of pointed sharpness and firmness like a lifted sword. She might have been sixteen, though she was, as a matter of fact, three years older; but she was not so much an age as a sensation – the sensation of youth, incredibly arrogant and unharmed. The men were trying to dissuade her from the run. It had just been freshly iced; the long blue line of it curved as hard as iron in and out under banks of ice far down into the valley. A tall boy beside her, singularly like her in features and coloring, but weaker in fiber and expression, said querulously:

  “Don’t go and make a fool of yourself, Claire. It’s a man’s run, not a girl’s. I won’t have you do it.” It was the fatal voice of authority without power.

  Across the group her eyes met Winn’s; wicked and gay they ran over him and into him. He stuck his hands into his pockets and stared back at her grimly, like a Staines. He wasn’t going to say anything; only if she had belonged to him he would have stopped her. His eyes said he could have stopped her; but she didn’t belong to him, so he set his square jaw, and gave her his unflinching, indifferent disapproval.

  She appeared after this to be unaware of him, and turned to her brother.

  “Won’t have it?” she said, with a little gurgle of laughter. “Why, how do you suppose you can stop me? There’s only one way of keeping a man’s run for men, and that’s for girls not to be able to use it – see!”

  She slipped her teasing foot off the toboggan and with an agile twist of her small body sprang face downward on the board. In an instant she was off, lying along it light as a feather, but holding the runners in a grip of steel. In a moment more she was nothing but a traveling black dot far down the valley, lifting to the banks, swirling lightning swift back into the straight in a series of curves and flashes, till at the end the toboggan, girl and all, swung high into the air, and subsided safely into a snow-drift.

  Winn turned and walked away; he wasn’t going to applaud her. Something burned in his heart, grave and angry, stubborn and very strong. It was as if a strange substance had got into him, and he couldn’t in the least have said what it was. It voiced itself for him in his saying to himself, “That girl wants looking after.” The men on the bank admired her; there were too many of them, and no woman. He wondered if he should ever see her again. She was curiously vivid to him – brown shoes and stockings, tossed hair, clear eyes. He remembered once going to an opera and being awfully bored because there was such a lot of stiff music and people bawling about; only on the stage there had been a girl lying in the middle of a ring of flames. She’d showed up uncommonly well, rather like this one did in the hot sunshine.

  Walking back to the hotel he met a string of bounders, people he had seen and loathed at breakfast. Some of them had tried to talk to him; one beggar had had the cheek to ask Winn what he was up there for, and when Winn had said, “Not to answer impertinent questions,” things at the breakfast-table – there was one confounded long one for breakfast – had fallen rather flat.

  He felt sure he wouldn’t see the girl again; only he did almost at once. She came into the salle-à-man
ger with her brother, as if it belonged to them. After two stormy, obstinate scenes Winn had obtained the shelter of his separate and solitary table. The waiter approached the two young things as they entered late and a little flushed; apparently he explained to them with patient stubbornness that they, at any rate, must give up this privilege; they couldn’t have a separate table. He also tried to persuade them which one to join. The boy made a blustering assertion of himself and then subsided. Claire Rivers did neither. Her eyes ran over the room, mutinous and a little disdainful; then she moved. It seemed to Winn he had never seen anybody move so lightly and so swiftly. There was no faltering in her. She took the room with her head up like a sail before a breeze. She came straight to Winn’s table and looked down at him.

  “This is ours,” she said. “You’ve taken it, though we were here first. Do you think it’s fair?”

  Winn rose quietly and looked down at her. He was glad he was half a head taller; still he couldn’t look very far down. She caught at the corner of her lip with a small white tooth. He tried to make a look of sternness come into his eyes, but he felt guiltily aware that he wanted to give in to her, just as he wanted to give in, to Peter.

  “Of course,” he said, gravely, “I had no idea it was your table when I got it from that tow-headed fool. You must take it at once, and I’ll make him bring in another one.”

  “He won’t,” said Claire. “He says he can’t; Herr Avalon, the proprietor, won’t give him another; besides, there isn’t room.”

  “Oh, I think he will,” said Winn. “Shall I go over and bring your brother to you? Won’t you sit down?”

  She hesitated, then she said:

  “You make me feel as if I were being very rude, and I don’t want to drive you away. Only, you know, the other people here are rather awful, aren’t they?”

  Winn was aware that their entire awfulness was concentrated upon his companion.

  “Please sit down,” he said a little authoritatively. Her brother ought to have backed her up, but the young fool wouldn’t; he stood shamefacedly over by the door. “I’ll get hold of your brother,” Winn added, turning away from her. The waiter hovered nervously in their direction.

  “Am I to set for the three, sir?” he ventured. Claire turned quickly toward Winn.

  “Yes,” she said; “why not? If you don’t mind, I mean. You aren’t really a bit horrid.”

  “How can you possibly tell?” Winn asked, with a short laugh. “However, I’ll get your brother, and if you really don’t mind, I’ll come back with him.”

  Claire was quite sure that she could tell and that she didn’t mind.

  The waiter came back in triumph, but Winn gave him a sharp look which extracted his triumph as neatly as experts extract a winkle with a pin. Maurice apologized with better manners than Winn had expected. He looked a terribly unlicked cub, and Winn found himself watching anxiously to see if Claire ate enough and the right things. He couldn’t, of course, say anything if she didn’t, but he found himself watching.

  CHAPTER XII

  Winn was from the first sure that it was perfectly all right. She wouldn’t notice him at all. She would merely look upon him as the man who was there when there were skates to clean, skis to oil, any handy little thing which the other fellows, being younger and not feeling so like an old nurse, might more easily overlook. Women liked fellows who cut a dash, and you couldn’t cut a dash and be an old nurse simultaneously. Winn clung to the simile of the old nurse. That was, after all the real truth of his feelings, not more than that, certainly not love. Love would make more of a figure in the world, not that it mattered what you called things provided you behaved decently. Only he was glad he was not in love.

  He bought her flowers and chocolates, though he had a pang about the chocolates, not feeling quite sure that they were good for her; but flowers were safe.

  He didn’t give her lilies – they seemed too self-consciously virginal, as if they wanted to rub it in – he gave her crimson roses, flowers that frankly enjoyed themselves and were as beautiful as they could be. They were like Claire herself. She never stopped to consider an attitude; she just went about flowering all over the place in a kind of perpetual fragrance.

  She enjoyed herself so much that she simply hadn’t time to notice any one in particular. There were a dozen men always about her. She was so young and happy and unintentional that every one wanted to be with her. It was like sitting in the sun.

  She never muddled things up or gave needless pain or cheated. That was what Winn liked about her. She was as fair as a judge without being anything like so grave.

  They were all playing a game, and she was the leader. They would have let her break the rules if she had wanted to break them! but she wouldn’t have let herself.

  Of course the hotel didn’t approve of her; no hotel could be expected to approve of a situation which it so much enjoyed. Besides Claire was lawless; she kept her own rules, but she broke everybody else’s. She never sought a chaperon or accepted some older woman’s sheltering presence; she never sat in the ladies’ salon or went to tea with the chaplain’s wife. On one dreadful occasion she tobogganed wilfully on a Sunday, under the chaplain’s nose, with a man who had arrived only the night before.

  When old Mrs. Stewart, who knitted regularly by the winter and counted almost as many scandals as stitches, took her up on the subject out of kindness of heart, Claire had said without meaning to be rude:

  “I really don’t think the chaplain’s nose ought to be there, to be under, do you?”

  Of course, Mrs. Stewart did. She had the highest respect for the chaplain’s nose; but it wasn’t the kind of subject you could argue about.

  For a long time Claire and Winn never really talked; she threw words at him over her shoulder or in the hall or when he put her skates on or took them off at the rink. He seemed to get there quicker than any one else, though the operation itself was sometimes a little prolonged. Of course there were meals, but meals belonged to Maurice, and Claire had a way of always slipping behind him, so that it was really over the skates that Winn discovered how awfully clever she was.

  She read books, deep books; why, even Hall Caine and Marie Corelli didn’t satisfy her, and Winn had always thought those famous authors the last words in modern literature. He now learned others. She gave him Conrad to read, and Meredith. He got stuck in Meredith, but he liked Conrad; it made him smell the mud and feel again the silence of the jungle.

  “Funny,” he explained to Claire, “because when you come to think of it, he doesn’t actually write about the smell; only he’s got it, and the jungle feeling, too. It’s quiet, you know, in there, but not a bit like the snows out here; there’s nothing doing up in this snow, but God alone knows what’s happening in the jungle. Odd how there can be two sorts of quiet, ain’t it?”

  “There can be two sorts of anything,” said Claire, exultantly. “Oh, not only two – dozens; that’s why it’s all such fun.”

  But Winn was inclined to think that there might be more fun where there were fewer candidates for it. There was, for instance, Mr. Roper. Maurice was trying to work up for his final examination at Sandhurst with Mr. Roper. He was a black-haired, polite man with a constant smile and a habit of agreeing with people much too promptly; also he read books and talked to Claire about them in the evening till every one started bridge. Fortunately, that shut him up.

  Winn was considered in Anglo-Indian clubs, where the standard of bridge is high, to play considerably above it, and Claire played with a relish, that was more instinctive than reliable; nevertheless, Winn loved playing with her, and accepted Mr. Roper and Maurice as one accepts severity of climate on the way to a treat. He knew he must keep his temper with them both, so when he wanted to be nasty he looked at Claire, and when Claire looked at him he wanted to be nice. He couldn’t, of course, stop Claire from ever in any circumstances glancing in the direction of Mr. Roper, and it would have startled him extremely if he had discovered that Claire, seeing how
much he disliked it, had reduced this form of communion to the rarest civility; because Winn still took for granted the fact that Claire noticed nothing.

  It was the solid earth on which he stood. For some months his consciousness of his wife had been an intermittent recognition of a disagreeable fact; but for the first few weeks at Davos he forgot Estelle entirely; she drifted out of his mind with the completeness of a collar stud under a wardrobe.

  He never for a moment forgot Peter, but he didn’t talk about him because it would have seemed like boasting. Even if he had said, “I have a boy called Peter,” it would have sounded as if nobody else had ever had a boy like Peter. Besides, he didn’t want to talk about himself; he wanted to talk about Claire.

  She hadn’t time to tell him much; she was preparing for a skating competition, which took several hours a day, and then in the afternoons she skied or tobogganed with Mr. Ponsonby, a tall, lean Eton master getting over an illness. Winn privately thought that if Mr. Ponsonby was well enough to toboggan, he was well enough to go back and teach boys; but this opinion was not shared by Mr. Ponsonby, who greatly preferred staying where he was and teaching Claire.

  Claire tobogganed and skied with the same thrill as she played bridge and skated; they all seemed to her breathless and vital duties. She did not think of Mr. Ponsonby as much as she did of the toboggan, but he gave her points. In any case, Winn preferred him to Mr. Roper, who was obliged to teach Maurice in the afternoons.

  If one wants very much to learn a particular subject, it is surprising how much of it one may pick up in the course of a day from chance moments.

  In a week Winn had learned that Maurice and Claire were orphans, that they lived with an aunt who didn’t get on with Claire and an uncle who didn’t get on with Maurice, and that there were several cousins too stodgy for words. Claire was waiting for Maurice to get through Sandhurst – he’d been horribly interrupted by pleurisy – and then she could keep house for him somewhere – wherever he was sent – unless she took up a profession. She rather thought she was going to do that in any case, because they would have awfully little money; and besides, not doing things was a bore, and every girl ought to make her way in the world, didn’t Major Staines think so?